Film student, huge fan of horror movies, heavy metal (Godsmack, Mushroomhead, Sevendust, Powerman 5000, DVDA, Wicked Wisdom, Rage Against The Machine) and comic books. I also draw comics and write stories.
Please note: My movie ratings are usually fairly lukewarm. I don't rate movies very harshly or very highly. My reviews are all based on my own personal impression and opinion of it (I'm sure you'll notice that I write myself into my reviews a lot). In a perfect world I'd be able to rate movies with emoticons: the best would be "imPRESSive" and "yi-ess!" and the worst would be "oh... kay" and "ohh gawd".
I'm not ashamed to say that I like bad movies. Not all bad movies, mind you, but sometimes derivative, schlocky formulaic movies can be a pleasure. I also like film festivals, and seeing screenings late at night is a particular pleasure of mine. Cinema is not dead! Grindhouses are still around! There are still people who want to watch $10 000 zombie movies at midnight! I'm one of them!
It may throw you for a loop that some of my favorite films have the sparsest reviews. That's because I wrote them first, and I'm in the process of giving them the commentary they deserve.
P.S. I'm not a film snob. If you like a movie I hated (or vice versa) I want to hear why. Not only do I love film, I love to talk about it. Can anyone explain to be the appeal of David Lynch? In exchange I'll explain the appeal of David Cronenberg.
Current Fixation: Tom Hardy as Bane
Past Fixations: Supernatural, Klayton aka Celldweller, Repo! The Genetic Opera, Dolph Lundgren (circa 1989), The Dark Knight, Denis Leary, Emily the Strange, The Matrix, Metalocalypse
I really do like Jason Momoa, but I have trouble pinning down exactly why I didn't like this movie. Maybe I found the plot a little bit too crazy to make sense. It seems like Conan's tribe is a bunch of bloodthirsty destroyers. Why are we siding with them over the other bloodthirsty destroyers? Because they look less creepy? Flip a coin. It really annoys me in movies when the female characters are not actually characters at all, but more like devices to spur other characters into action by nagging them, requiring a heroic rescue or giving them something to screw. Tamara was the worst offender. Where are all the female barbarians? Off fighting with the Amazons?
Have you ever wondered what Alien would be like if the entire crew of the Nostromo was a bunch of easily-distracted, silly drunken jackasses? Well I've got the movie for you! Ever since I heard the plans for this movie, I've been itching to see it. In fact, I might have skipped TIFF this year entirely if this hadn't been part of the roster. It's about an interdimensional monster that is trying to infiltrate our world by tricking people into taking a drug and then inducing hallucinations. The only ones who can stop it are a pair of slackers who aren't particularly motivated. John and Dave are two regular guys who'd much rather get back to their game of Mario Kart than be action movie heroes and save the world. It's like watching a horror movie starring my best friends. This movie is pretty surreal and the story gets a little muddled a few times, but that is kind of the point. I love the book, and I think Don Coscarelli's greatest triumph here is completely nailing the tone; it's a horror movie that has the potential to be oppressively terrifying and nihilistically grim, if not for the two main characters laughing and saying "can you believe this shit"?
This movie is just wonderful. I don't even like video games and Ioved it. Ralph is such an endearing character and his motivation is so pure: he wants a little appreciation. That's it. He's spent 30 years smashing things, because that's what his game requires, and no one gives him any respect. Ogres have feeling too, but apparently none of the cast of Fix-It Felix Jr. have seen Shrek, and Ralph feels so unloved that he ventures out to seek validation in another game. Besides the characters, all of whom I absolutely love, the movie's plot of this brilliantly cohesive pretzel and it takes a really long time for a villain to emerge. It's such great writing that the conflict arises, for the most part, from the conflicting goals of the characters. Another delicious thing is how flawlessly sound the video-game-logic that governs the movie world is. They set a rule and enforce it with Draconian stringency, and as a result, everything flows and makes sense. One of the touches I love is how Felix' hammer does the exact opposite of what every other hammer on planet Earth does. Remember kids: double-stripe branches break, never mess with the first-person shooter and up-up-down-down-left-right-left-right-A-B-start lets you see through walls. God, children's movies in recent years have gotten so much better than they used to be. You'd never see this much attention to detail in the Disney movies of the sixties.
This would have made a great short film. Sinister's got about enough plot for a good episode of Supernatural. They took all this time to build a really wonderful, (and wonderfully evil villain) and they didn't do anything with him! I hate it when novel ideas are wasted in movies. I also think it was a bit of a narrative mistake to give all the detective work to a police officer who doesn't do any of it on screen. The main character is a true crime novelist, for Pete's sake! For shame. Apart from all the times it disappointed me with its red herrings and promises of a brilliant payoff, a lot of Sinister's scare gags really connected. It succeeded in recreated those alone-at-night willies that make old-school slashers so delicious. If you liked those back in the day, this one is good for the same reason. I liked them too, but they're not my favorite.
There should be a word in the English language for attempted and failed comedy. This movie certainly fits the bill. It is just plain not funny. Which is fine, but the events are never engaging and the characters are all really flat, so it doesn't work as a drama, either. It's not a romance, it's not a very good satire, it's certainly sci-fi; It's a whole lot of nothing, is what it is. It's so strange how specifically Laura Linney is typecast: the super-serious, hyper-competent political analyst/ campaign manager/ crown attorney. I think this movie was trying to poke fun at Gloria Steinem and Ralph Nader without hurting their feelings which doesn't really make sense.