Michael Bay does it again. With Transformers: Age of Extinction, the beginning of a second trilogy, Bay has crafted a movie that can truly be described as absolutely worthless. You think that no summer blockbuster could ever be as dull, stupid and soulless as the first three Transformers, but here we are.
Bay, with screenwriter Ehren Krueger, is telling the same goddamned story he's told the first three times, only he's taking longer to do it. Just short of three hours, Transformers: Age of Extinction, whether seen in 2D, 3D or IMAX 3D, is an endurance test that even migrant children from South America would cringe at. Even fans of the franchise, and they're out there, have to know that the toys from Hasbro are much more vibrant and complex than these putrid movies.
Plot? Four years after the war between the alien robots leveled Chicago (Autobots, led by Optimus Prime, are good, Decepticons, bad), the robots in disguise are nowhere to be seen. None of it matters though, since even the Autobots are being hunted down and destroyed. The government has a plan to create their own race of Transformers, which means Bay can begin the whole process over again with the robots fighting over their own clones. Ugh.
Am I being unfair? There is some new things. Bay has discarded his old human cast, so there's no more Shia LaBeouf as Sam Witwicky, teen pal to Autobot Bumblebee. In his place is Mark Wahlberg as Cade Yeager, a Texas robotics freak who buys an old truck that ends up being Optimus Prime. So this mean there's no more Megan Fox or Rosie Huntington-Whiteley for Bay's camera to ogle? No worry, there's newcomer Nicola Peltz as ade's 17-year-old daughter Tessa, who wears heels and short shorts, no matter what is going on, so Bay can leer at her like a creep. So no, not being unfair.
As far as acting goes, it's nowhere to be seen. I give props to Stanley Tucci as Joshua Joyce, head of Kinetic Sciences Institute (KSI) and the man who has isolated a metal substance called 'Transformium' that can mutate just about anything, except turn Bay into a filmmaker of talent on par with Chris Nolan or Guillermo Del Toro. Joshua is in league with CIA villain Harold Attinger (Kelsey Grammar), who does a grisly experiment on Galvatron, a Transformer created from the evil DNA from Megatron's decapitated head. Tucci is the only one in the film who seems to have a pulse, delivering every line he's given as if he's laughing inside.
The rest is all mind-numbing sound and fury. You can get more entertainment and stimulation from playing with toys or video games, where you could do whatever you wish. With Transformers:Age of Extinction, you're just stuck with Bay's toy sets. There comes a point in the movie where the Dinobots are introduced, which are apparently there to remind us of a time when something referred to as the seed was unleashed to turn 'organic life into metal'. That's whats' at Bay's disposal, and we're all suffering for it.