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Hometown:
the couch
 
Favorite Movies:
A Clockwork Orange, It's a Wonderful Life, Sunset Boulevard, Vertigo, Oldboy, Pulp Fiction, The Shawshank Redemption, Little Miss Sunshine, Fight Club, Amélie, Kill Bill: Volume 1, Sin City, Reservoir Dogs, Kill Bill: Volume 2, Inglourious Basterds, Magnolia, Boogie Nights, Children of Men, The Shining, Full Metal Jacket, Eyes Wide Shut, Psycho, Rear Window, North by Northwest, Rope, It Happened One Night, Away We Go, American Beauty, Jarhead, Road to Perdition, Revolutionary Road, Things We Lost in the Fire, The Royal Tenenbaums, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, The Darjeeling Limited, Rushmore, Fargo, Gladiator, E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial, Minority Report, Jurassic Park, Saving Private Ryan, Jaws, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, Munich, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, The Departed, Gangs of New York, Taxi Driver, GoodFellas, Shutter Island, No Man's Land, The Sting, The Breakfast Club, Max Manus: Man of War, Up in the Air, Sicko, 21 Grams, Avatar, Death at a Funeral, This Is England, Assassination of a High School President, Charade, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, Dancer in the Dark, Okuribito (Departures), World's Greatest Dad, Roman Holiday, La Haine (Hate)
 
Favorite Actors:
Al Pacino, Edward Norton, Christian Bale, Kevin Spacey, Philip Seymour Hoffman, James Stewart, Kate Winslet, Hilary Swank, Audrey Hepburn, Charlize Theron, Samuel L. Jackson, Johnny Depp, Audrey Tautou, Cate Blanchett, Angelina Jolie, Sam Rockwell, Nicolas Cage, Adrien Brody, Cillian Murphy, Bruce Willis, Scarlett Johansson, Uma Thurman, Elisha Cuthbert, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Alba, Harvey Keitel, Emile Hirsch, Leonardo DiCaprio, John Travolta, Lucy Liu, Brad Pitt, Ben Stiller, Will Ferrell, Luke Wilson, Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughn, Geoffrey Rush, Steve Carell, Adam Sandler, Tom Cruise, Natalie Portman, Elijah Wood, Hugh Laurie, Christina Ricci, Ian McKellen, Christopher Lee, Dakota Fanning, Robert De Niro, Sylvester Stallone, Anne Hathaway, Shia LaBeouf, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Zach Braff, Masi Oka, Woody Allen, John Cho, Ken Watanabe, Clint Eastwood, Michael J. Fox, Gerard Butler, Ewan McGregor, Michael Clarke Duncan, Tom Hanks, Colin Hanks, Jack Black, Will Smith, Robert Downey Jr., Simon Pegg, Val Kilmer, Michelle Monaghan, Denzel Washington, Quentin Tarantino, Brendan Gleeson, Jon Heder, Jacinda Barrett, Karl Urban, Jake Gyllenhaal, Kate Walsh, Seth Rogen, Jonny Lee Miller, Mark Wahlberg, Katherine Heigl, George Clooney, Sean Penn, Jason Schwartzman, Kevin Bacon, Ryan Gosling, Paul Dano, Daniel Day-Lewis, Hugh Jackman, Nicole Kidman, Daniel Craig, Ryan Reynolds, Steve Buscemi, Gaspard Ulliel, Jean Reno, Guy Pearce, Carrie-Anne Moss, Edward Burns, Andy Garcia, Dustin Hoffman, Julia Roberts, Morgan Freeman, Casey Affleck, Matthew Fox, Forest Whitaker, Ethan Hawke, Dominic Monaghan, Harrison Ford, Anthony Hopkins, Tim Roth, Adrian Grenier, Tim Robbins, Greg Kinnear, Matt Damon, Jude Law, Michael Caine, Heath Ledger, Blake Lively, Ellen Page, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Michael Cera, Jonah Hill, Kristen Bell, Hayden Panettiere, James McAvoy, Jeremy Piven, Jamie Foxx, Halle Berry, Benicio Del Toro, Keira Knightley, Kristen Stewart, Javier Bardem, J.K. Simmons, Jack Nicholson, Wes Bentley, Dennis Quaid, Mos Def, Jim Carrey, Ben Foster, Russell Crowe, Abigail Breslin, James Gandolfini, Sean Connery, Aaron Eckhart, Gary Oldman, Michael C. Hall, Brian Cox, Colin Farrell, Eric Bana, Woody Harrelson, Michael Douglas, Evan Rachel Wood, Jim Sturgess, Emma Thompson, Laura Linney, Alan Rickman, Sacha Baron Cohen, Helena Bonham Carter, Don Cheadle, Pierce Brosnan, John Leguizamo, Common, Terrence Howard, Richard Gere, John C. Reilly, Joaquin Phoenix, Reese Witherspoon, Danny DeVito, John Cusack, Paul Bettany, Alfred Molina, Salma Hayek, Marion Cotillard, Adolf Hitler, Monica Bellucci, Ricky Gervais, Téa Leoni, Bernie Mac, Evangeline Lilly, Josh Holloway, Michael Emerson, Tobin Bell, Steve Zahn, John Malkovich, Daniel Dae Kim, Yunjin Kim, Ken Leung, Jeff Fahey, Jeremy Davies, Rebecca Mader, Freddy Rodriguez, Naveen Andrews, Jodie Foster, Mark Ruffalo, Rinko Kikuchi, Koji Yakusho, Robbie Coltrane, Ralph Fiennes, Joseph Fiennes, Winona Ryder, Keanu Reeves, Jackie Earle Haley, Matthew Goode, Emilie De Ravin, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Channing Tatum, Christopher Walken, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Linus Roache, Anne Bancroft, Annette Benning, Chris Cooper, Mickey Rourke, Lukas Haas, Malin Akerman, Mena Suvari, Ving Rhames, Maria de Medeiros, Dolph Lundgren, Robert Patrick, John Terry, David Duchovny, Robin Williams, Robert Sean Leonard, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Tobey Maguire, Bill Hader, Meryl Streep, Amy Adams, Jeffrey Tambor, Vera Farmiga, Paul Walker, Cameron Bright, Neil Patrick Harris, Jason Segel, Alyson Hannigan, Cobie Smulders, Josh Radnor, David Cross, Paul Rudd, David Koechner, Rainn Wilson, Jenna Fischer, John Krasinski, Emily Blunt, Zooey Deschanel, Kirk Douglas, Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles, Jennifer Garner, Ben Affleck, Kat Dennings, Alec Baldwin, Tina Fey, David Morse, Paul Giamatti, Christopher Eccleston, Anna Paquin, Peter Sarsgaard, Richard Jenkins, Frank Langella, Michael Sheen, Marisa Tomei, Kevin Connolly, Kevin Dillon, Jerry Ferrara, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Djimon Hounsou, Cuba Gooding Jr., Michael Shannon, Kathy Bates, Dev Patel, Freida Pinto, Viola Davis, Melissa Leo, Sally Hawkins, Alison Lohman, Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Humphrey Bogart, Marlene Dietrich, Charles Chaplin, John Wayne, Paul Newman, Robert Redford, Donald Sutherland, Kiefer Sutherland, Idris Elba, Dennis Haysbert, Harold Perrineau, Terry O'Quinn, Cary Elwes, Tadanobu Asano, Hiroyuki Sanada, Nick Nolte, Gary Busey, Danny McBride, Anna Friel, Kang-ho Song, Min-sik Choi, Donnie Yen, Bruce Lee, David Carradine, Michael Madsen, Diane Kruger, B.J. Novak, Til Schweiger, Kristanna Loken, Nick Stahl, Julie Benz, Mark Pellegrino, Nestor Carbonell, Ed Harris, Viggo Mortensen, Bruce McGill, Marcia Gay Harden, Toby Jones, Steve McQueen, Michael Fassbender, James Dean, David Wenham, Eddie Izzard, Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph, Ayelet Zurer, Stellan Skarsgård, Alexander Skarsgård, Stephen Moyer, Albert Finney, Justin Long, Drew Barrymore, Sandra Bullock, Ray Liotta, Joe Pesci, Haley Joel Osment, Elle Fanning, Kris Kristofferson, Tracy Morgan, Mark Strong (II), Frances McDormand, Michael Angarano, Ian McShane, Ben Kingsley, Josh Peck, Olivia Thirlby, Mary-Louise Parker, Megan Fox, Jeff Bridges, Rachel Nichols, Billy Crudup, Jason Lee, Gregory Peck, Cary Grant, Clark Gable, William Holden, Eva Marie Saint, Grace Kelly, Kim Novak, Lionel Barrymore, Bill Murray, Harold Ramis, Dan Aykroyd
 
Bio:
My <b><i>REVISED</i></b> new and improved! ratings system: (0/10)- Execrable junk, worthy of the infamous Golden Turkey award. (1/10) - A film within hailing distance of Plan 9 From Outer Space. (2/10) - A negligible film with few redeeming qualities. (3/10) - A pretty bad movie, but not without redeeming qualities. (4/10) - A film whose flaws clearly outweigh its merits. (5/10) - This is a special category for films with a roughly equal amount of merits and flaws, films that rate neither thumbs up nor thumbs down, but rather thumbs across. (6/10) - A significantly flawed film with just enough redeeming qualities to recommend it. (7/10) - Perhaps not top ten worthy, but a very good film nonetheless. (8/10) - Not quite a masterpiece, but certainly top ten worthy. (9/10) - Just this side of paradise, but still a masterpiece. (10/10) - An all-time personal favorite; the stuff dreams are made of. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- <center><font size=+2 face="Times New Roman">The Nicolas Cage Movie Plot Generator</font> <img src = "http://www.worstpreviews.com/images/headlines/temp/temp1242.jpg"></font></center> -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- <center><img src = "http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l26m8ljk2h1qaw14to1_500.gif"></center> ---- <a href="http://www.250films.net/list/lorenzo_von_matterhorn/" title="250films.net"><img src="http://www.250films.net/list/lorenzo_von_matterhorn//images/progress.png" alt="250films.net" /></a>
 

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Rating History

Zoom
Zoom (2006)
5 months ago via Flixster

"They're going to save the world . . . as long as they're home for dinner"

Former superhero Jack Shepard, (also known as Captain Zoom), is called back to work to transform an unlikely group of ragtag kids into a new generation of superheroes at a privacy Academy and save the world from certain destruction. The project holds an audition of would-be members, most of whom possess useless or disgusting powers. In the end, Dylan, a 17-year-old boy who can turn invisible Summer, a 16-year-old girl with telekinetic powers Tucker, a 12-year-old boy with the power to enlarge any part of his body Cindy, a 6-year-old girl with super strength.

"Zoom" is a kids' superhero flick based on the novel "Zoom's Academy" written by Jason Lethcoe. In it, Tim Allen stars as a has-been superhero who's tasked to train four young superheroes to battle a nemesis. With that, you pretty much know what to expect. Unfortunately, that's all. While the film has all what comprises a prototype of this milked-dry genre, the experience is overtly familiar and dull.

Jack Shephard (Allen... nope, not Matthew Fox) was Captain Zoom, a superhero who can travel at superhuman speeds, and one of the members of the military-sponsored superhero group "Team Zenith." But he has since lost his powers after a military experiment has gone awry that also has his teammates killed. 30 years later Jack is brought back to train four youngsters with superpowers when a new malevolent threat from the past emerges.

First of all, the script of Adam Rifkin and David Berenbaum doesn't attain new heights with their blunt dealing of a theme that's been done more excellently with "The Incredibles" and "Sky High." And director Peter Hewitt ("Garfield"), who clearly isn't exactly a master storyteller himself, has little to work from with such a dull and hollow material. All of the characters are perfunctory parts rather than humans portraying genuine conflicts.

Also, for a film that's called "Zoom," the film drags: it lacks a sufficient amount of action. We're supposed to see the kids train, but all we're mostly shown are unfunny attempts at slapstick humor that the filmmakers assume would elicit laughters from the little tots among the audience (uhm, Courteney Cox tripping down and Chevy Chase getting slime on his face, anyone?). What constitutes for training involve at the most paint balls and a drive-thru chaos at a Wendy's restaurant. Yes, there's the climactic fight sequence at the end but it's too quick, unexciting, and not enough by a mile for a film that has terribly dragged along.

Ultimately, what transpires is a terribly unfunny movie that wears out its welcome faster than its main character runs.