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About Darik

The Deepest, Darkest Reaches of the Unfathomable Abyss
Favorite Movies:
The Dark Knight, Evil Dead 2, Batman Begins, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, Back to the Future, Man of Steel, The Dark Knight Rises, RoboCop, The Shawshank Redemption, Inception, The Matrix, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, V for Vendetta, Superman, Tropic Thunder, Ghostbusters, The Evil Dead, Star Trek, Halloween, Serenity, Clerks, Marvel's The Avengers, Wes Craven's New Nightmare, Dracula, The Terminator, Batman, Star Trek II - The Wrath of Khan, The Mask of Zorro, Liar Liar, Spider-Man 2, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead, Green Lantern, Looper, Memento, Trick 'r Treat, Star Trek - First Contact, Casablanca, Rocky, Casino Royale, Halloween H2O, Eraserhead, Evil Dead, Dogma, Grosse Pointe Blank, X-Men: First Class, The Seventh Seal (Det Sjunde inseglet), Unforgiven, Superman II, Aliens, Wonder Woman, The Incredible Hulk
Favorite Actors:
Bruce Campbell, Christian Bale, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Christopher Walken, Clint Eastwood, Gary Oldman, Nathan Fillion, Jack Nicholson, David Warner, Robert Downey Jr., Russell Crowe, Patrick Stewart, Liam Neeson, Michael Keaton, Anthony Hopkins, Samuel L. Jackson, Christopher Lloyd, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Uma Thurman, Ian McKellen, Bill Murray, Steve Buscemi, Willem Dafoe, Gabriel Byrne, Michael Caine, Ryan Reynolds, Jeff Goldblum, Humphrey Bogart, Simon Pegg, Alan Rickman, Mark Strong (II), Neil Patrick Harris, Natalie Portman, John Cusack, Rachel McAdams, Morgan Freeman, Bruce Willis, Hugh Laurie, Rachel Weisz, Peter Stormare, Christopher Reeve, Kevin Spacey, Jackie Earle Haley, Orson Welles, Helena Bonham Carter, Marlon Brando, Jack Black, Benedict Cumberbatch, Mickey Rourke, Heath Ledger, Michael J. Fox, Edward Norton, Hugh Jackman, Keanu Reeves, Sylvester Stallone, Alyson Hannigan, Sean Connery, Sam Worthington, Idris Elba, Nicolas Cage, Ellen Page, Will Ferrell, James Marsden, Rutger Hauer, Amy Adams, Buster Keaton, Jean Reno, Terence Stamp, Sam Rockwell, Bela Lugosi, Paul Rudd, Gene Wilder, Karl Urban, Burgess Meredith, Hugo Weaving, Michael Cera, Cillian Murphy, Tom Hardy, Leonardo DiCaprio, Jeff Fahey, Tina Fey, Jackie Chan, Michael Jai White, Brandon Routh, Kurt Russell, Minnie Driver, Vinnie Jones, Isla Fisher, Donald Pleasence, Scott Paulin, Bryan Cranston, Mark Hamill, William Fichtner, Josh Brolin, Zachary Quinto, Dwight Frye, Ally Sheedy, Michael Biehn, Jim Carrey, Brian Cox, Peter Weller, Summer Glau, Christoph Waltz, Peter Falk, Jeremy Piven, Alfred Molina, Chris Hemsworth, Elisha Cuthbert, Anton Yelchin, Anne Hathaway, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, James Marsters, Thomas Mitchell, Kurtwood Smith, Michael Parks, Ricardo Montalban, Garret Dillahunt, Robert Englund, Michael McKean, Martin Freeman (II), James Remar, William Sadler, Julie Benz, Chris Evans, Jim Varney, John Lithgow, Eva Mendes, Andy Samberg, Lea Thompson, Kevin Smith, William Shatner, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Henry Cavill, Ellen Wong, Timothy Olyphant, Armin Shimmerman, Clive Owen, Olivia Thirlby, Josh Hartnett, Jerry O'Connell, David Grohl, Reb Brown, Cynthia Rothrock, Pierre Kirby
I like movies. I also like to <i>make</i> movies. I like to write movies, shoot movies, act in movies, and watch movies get made. Also, I enjoy writing some of the most ridiculously long-winded film reviews you are likely to see on this site, but dammit, that's just because I care. But most importantly, I like movies. Remember me when you look up into the night sky! NOTE: I try to rate movies as objectively as possible, keeping in mind the quality of the production relative to the resources of the filmmakers and the dramatic intentions of the film w/r/t how well it succeeds in communicating them. But if I really enjoy or vehemently loathe a particular film, my rating will be biased, and therefore my system is inconsistent. So sue me. SECONDARY NOTE: I always write my reviews with the assumption that the reader has already seen the movie I'm reviewing, so with very few exceptions (usually new movies that haven't been out long enough to permeate the mass consciousness, or films with a surprise ending that's so good that I don't want to ruin it), my reviews are loaded with SPOILERS. You've been warned. POINT OF PERSONAL PRIDE: If you don't have a single director listed as a favorite- not ONE SINGLE, SOLITARY DIRECTOR whom you enjoy the works of- or if you state clearly that you don't care about directors, DON'T TALK TO ME. The director is the most important element in any film. Disregarding the value of a good director leads to terrible things. Like Terminator 3. MORE QUOTES: "Did they look like psychos? Is that what they looked like? They were VAMPIRES. Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them- I don't give a fuck how crazy they are!" "If my calculations are correct, when this baby hits 88 miles per hour, you're going to see some serious shit." "I'm givin' ye' all she's got!" "By the authority vested in me by Kaiser Wilhelm the second, I pronounce you man and wife. Proceed with the execution." "Bullets! My only weakness! How did you know?" "Gentlemen! Since you're about to die anyway, I may as well tell you the entire plot!" "I WANT... ROOM SERVICE!!! I want the club sandwich, I want the cold Mexican beer, I want the $10,000-a-night hooker!" "You wanted me. Here I am." "Shabbat shalom, muthafuckers!" "I was frozen today!" "Say hello to Saint Peter for me. ... Or whoever has his job, but in Hell." "You're not the Devil... You're practice." "You ask me if I have a God complex. Let me tell you something: I AM God." "Ninety years ago, I was a freak. Today, I'm an amateur." "I was pilotin' Black Ops missions in the jungles of North Vietnam while you were suckin' on your mama's tit at Woodstock, Kelly. Don't lecture me about war." "For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday." "That's it! You cocky cock! You'll pay for your crimes against humanity!" "Nobody makes me bleed my own blood! Nobody!" "I'm six-foot-five, two-twenty, and there's two of me." "Oh, yeah... 'ooh, ahh', that's how it always starts... but then later there's running and... screaming..." "No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater... than central air." "CHARLIE! YOU FUCKING BITCH! LET'S WORK IT OUT!" "It would be nice to not want to kill you all the time." "Well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn't have anything to regret for the rest of their life. Well, good luck to you, Peter! I'm sure this decision won't haunt you forever." "You punched the highlights out of her hair... He PUNCHED the HIGHLIGHTS OUT of her HAIR!!!" "Stop him! He's supposed to die!" "Sorry, Venkman-- I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought." "We are Sex Bob-Omb, and we're here to make you think about death and get sad and stuff!" "Rommel, you magnificent bastard- I read your BOOK!" "That's right. I've killed women and children. Killed just about everything that walks or crawls at one time or another. And I'm here to kill you, Little Bill, for what you did to Ned." "Well, if my cathedral of cutting-edge taste holds no interest for your tragically Canadian sensibilities, then I shall be forced to grant you a swift exit from the premises. And a fast entrance... into HELL!" "But I'm your lawyer. You can trust me!" FAVORITE TAGLINES (because I just love these things): <b>"You will believe a man can fly." "In space, no one can hear you scream." "If Nancy doesn't wake up screaming, she won't wake up at all." "He was never in time for his classes... He wasn't in time for his dinner... Then one day... he wasn't in his time at all." "The night HE came home!" "Part man. Part machine. All cop." "Welcome to a world without rules." "This time, it's war." "Someone has taken their love of scary movies one step too far." "The night no one comes home." "Why so serious?" "An epic of epic epicness."</b>

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