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Movie Ratings and Reviews

Gone Girl
Gone Girl (2014)
½

Something about seeing that Ben Affleck is in a movie that makes me not want to see it. Maybe it's that Gigli or Daredevil residual hate. He is phenomenal in the movie. Great performances out of a cast you may not even have expected to pull it out. Tyler Perry and NPH are great, the story is intriguing, and definitely had people in the audience gasping and oooooh-ing, just like a nice lady sitting next to me. Don't bring your kids like the people in front of us.

The Skeleton Twins
½

A fantastic movie. Of note, wonderful performances from comedic actors playing a more serious role. When I heard Luke Wilson was in this movie, I didn't think great things. He really delivered. Yes, his character is a bit of a doofus, but it's played sincerely.

I think a great positive about this movie was that every character was played sincerely and had their positive and negatives. Basically, everyone in the movie is fucked. A very real movie about people fucking up in their lives. It was pretty refreshing to see people behave like people. Make mistakes like normal people do. Go through the frustrations that normal people go through. The characters in the movie don't have all the answers, just like we don't in real life.

The ending of the movie is also great. It doesn't end necessarily with the guy getting the girl, or riding into the sunset. It's a real ending (a new beginning for the characters).

The movie does have some genuinely funny parts where I feel Hader and Wiig were just being themselves (Laughing Gas scene). There were moments when I felt that the connection between them was forced (the long lip sync scene). It was funny but it just went on for so long.

I also loved the pace at which information was revealed. There were no expository scenes, where we get a rehash their last ten years. We get bits and pieces of it throughout the movie. I thought that was outstanding. Those little bits of discovery throughout the movie was refreshing.

Again, I just love how in the movie, the twins are just fucked up people. Not in a bad way, but people just trying to find a way. And, of course, they have parallels (they are skeleton twins, you know). Nice to see that they are both messed up and they both try to deal with it. It's a must watch.

Amélie
Amélie (2001)

I'm not a fan of French films in general. This was cute and very fun story. Lot of child like whimsy in it.

Overall, visually it's very intriguing. Very nice on the eye and added to the whimsy of the world. The bit characters are also fun, like Louie the special grocer kid. Those parts are fun. I just got a bit tired of Amelie's shit. I also think the fact that the glass man had to tell her to man up for her to actually take a risk with her crush ruins the movie a bit. You'd like to think that she'd find it in herself to overcome her cowardice, but again, she needed an outside influence.

But the other side of it could be that she tried so hard to help other people that she had forgotten to help herself and she just needed a push in the right direction, much like the pushes she had given to the people around her.

Either way you look at it, it could have probably done with being a bit shorter. 2 hours was a bit much. It felt like the movie had one too many missed encounters with her crush.

Overall though, it is such an interesting way to tell a story, it was entertaining. Amelie is the French Zooey Deschanel before there was Zooey Deschanel.

Guardians of the Galaxy

I had such a fun time watching this movie. Usually when I watch movies, there is a point where I look at the time to see how much time is left. Just out of habit. Never had that moment in this movie. And honestly, I didn't want it to end. The characters were so interesting, so engrossing. And we are talking about a talking tree, a wrestler who takes everything literal, and the chick from Avatar. Definitely enjoyed Chris Pratt's performance and they left it out there for the sequel, which I can't wait for. Now excuse me, this movie makes me want to go back and play Mass Effect.

1776
1776 (1972)

Will someone OPEN UP A WINDOOOOOOW!

Monica & David

Interesting slice of life about couple with down syndrome.

The Shawshank Redemption

Powerful movie. Loved Tim Robbins in it. Morgan Freeman is always amazing.

Scrooged
Scrooged (1988)
½

Fun movie. Bill Murray is amazing. That chick from Raiders of the lost Ark is fucking horrendous though. All she does is smile that stupid smile and say something after smiling for ten seconds. Stupid.

Tiptoes
Tiptoes (2004)

This movie kept changing focus. It had an interesting premise (do you keep a child if you know it would be a dwarf) and it gets muddled in the many storyline and continually changing motivations. Plus Gary Oldman is obviously not a midget.

Inside Man
Inside Man (2006)
½

Thought the story was well written. Didn't blow my mind, but it definitely came together well.

A few blemishes. That Malcolm X shot (Denzel looks like he's speeding on a segway with people running behind him) was severely out of place. There is a shot with Clive Owen in the vault and it kind of jump cuts back and that was very awkward. There was some really awkward sound moments (aforementioned scene had loud choir ahhhhh ahhhh ahhhhh! music behind it when nothing was happening), another scene with farty trumpets.

Willem Dafoe was featured too much for having such little of a role. And Denzel's partner is borderline retarded. Understand that the point was to make Denzel seem smarter, but make Denzel seem smarter, not just by comparing him to dimwitted detective.

But some of the other cinematography was very good. Good use of bird's eye view when Jodie Foster entered the bank. Enjoyed the over exposure when detectives talked to witnesses. Lot of good things going on in this movie.

Dirty Love
Dirty Love (2005)

Offensive. Not in a funny way. Not in a provocative way. Not in a thoughtful way. Just offensive. Offensively bad.

The good: The magician she takes to dinner. He was kind of funny.

The Bad: everything else. The beginning on the movie is Jenny just crying and on all fours showing her ass to strangers. Wow.

You had Carmen Electra being an offensive stereotype (which I thought was blackface until sum41 singer pointed out that she was in fact a white chick who thought she was mexiblack or something).

The period scene in the grocery store, fucking jesus christ. Horrendous. Not funny. What the fuck.

The movie was just Jenny's mug contorting to try to show emotion and acting but it just looked like she had to fart the whole time.

The movie turned into a Sum41 music video for about 3 minutes as well. That was terrible.

The movie sets women back. It's that bad. She said she doesn't need men, then she tries to all of a sudden fuck anything that moves, then tries to blame guys saying they are pigs when they reject her advances. What?!

This movie should be avoided at all costs. It's offensive. It can SUUUUCK MYYY BAAAAAAASSS!

A Talking Cat!?!

This movie is shit. How they got Eric Roberts is beyond me. You can tell that he gave a big shit about it, he recorded the dialog in the bathroom of a gas station on his iphone.

25 minutes in this movie is credits and establishing shots. TWENTY FIVE!

The movie should be called incredulous about a cat doing normal cat things. These people have never seen a cat before.

I can't even go on with this movie. This movie is shit. Nothing makes sense. The dialog is painful. It is apparent that no lines go together as if the writer didn't pay attention to the line of dialog he had just written.

There is no explanation on why the cat has powers (he has magical powers), why he can only talk to a person once, how he can EVEN talk.

And if I have to hear the word Cheese puffs one more fucking time...

Bronies: The Extremely Unexpected Adult Fans of My Little Pony

This movie was complete shit. It wasn't a documentary, but just propaganda. The only other side shown on the argument was at the beginning when the director interviewed a few people on their thoughts of Bronies. What is the most irritating about the documentary is that they had "scientists" conduct "studies" that showed that Bronies were not actually old pedophiles (average age was "20") but that these Bronies were "highly educated". The documentary decided not to explain how these studies were conducted, what the methodology consisted of, what the sample size was, if there was a control group, the operationalization of "education" etc. There was also a "psychologist" that postulated that this show was helping people cope with a post 9/11 world. She mentioned 9/11 a few times in that sentence. She was obviously reading cue cards as you can see her eyes moving to read something in the distance. You also had John De Lancie defending these people and talking about the magic of the show, when he obviously had forgotten he had ever done it. It was just so incredibly fake. The whole documentary did not expand on many points anyone made. One writer for the show stated, "My son isn't able to talk, isn't able to walk, he isn't able to do any of the things I expected him to be able to do, if he was a Brony, I would think that's amazing, because he would be a sweet understanding compassionate boy that got that watching girl character doing awesome thing is just as good as watching boy characters doing awesome things." She never mentions anything else about her son. Does she have a son? Does she have a mute, limbless boy? So watching a show immediately makes you follow the morals the show teaches? Could these guys not just like it because it's pretty? Or could they not still be awful people?
If it was a documentary, why was there not the other side of the coin? Why only look at the positives or from the viewpoint of the Bronies? The story is one side and that side isn't even very interesting. Shows people being Bronies, and why it was spun to be positive, why could they go into why these people would need a show to tell them to be kind and be a friend? A lot of these people are introverted, one of them was even autistic. Maybe shed some light on that, but it was just there to push Bronies. Boo Boo Boo.

Dallas Buyers Club

Great movie. Really can understand why McConaughey won best actor and Jared Leto got best supporting actor. Compelling story, inspired performance by Matthew.

I wish Jennifer Garner didn't always look like she was about to cry in every scene of the movie. Fix your face!

Also, the sad moments of the movie were always too short. Just needed more time for these scenes to sink in, but they were always cut too early. Also, the movie did slow at parts and the ending really does come out of nowhere, but the movie is not about the plot so it wasn't that big of a deal.

It's definitely a movie you should watch.

The Shaggy Dog

This movie. This fucking movie. Fuck this movie.

So it's a remake of some 1957 movie, which I'm assuming was good. This movie was not.

The plot is convoluted as shit. Basically, there's some magically dog, living with some monks in Tibet, and it's been alive for 300 years. Bad guy, Robert Downey Jr. (doing his best Tony Stark), is the second in command of evil co (the real name escapes me) that kidnaps the dog and tries to isolate the fountain of youth gene from the dog. Tim Allen (doing his best...well I don't know, he's horrendous in this) is second in command at the DA's office and he's prosecuting his precious twat daughter's teacher for trying to burn down evil co's lab. ALREADY, my fingers hurt from typing this retarded plot. This is just the basis of it. I didn't even get to the part where he's a bad dad.

So he's a bad dad, and you are reminded constantly of this. He wants his deep in the closet son to play football, but his son much rather awkwardly sing songs from Grease and be pestered by a random black girl (whose name is Plot Device) that challenges him to go to the Grease audition at the school, because she's his biggest rival or something. You NEVER SEE THIS AUDITION. It's only point is to drive home how clueless Tim Allen is at his son's gayness. Just another subplot in a movie that can't get the normal plot right. Why can't the son just not want to play football? I can understand the theme of a parent pushing a kid to do something they don't want to do (pageant parents), but why did they have to throw in character development for this stupid ass kid? He's awful.

So fast forward, Tim Allen is a bad dad (take a drink everytime he's a bad dad), the precious twat kids save the magical dog that escaped from the lab and the dog is an asshole and bites Tim Allen, because we're following SPIDERMAN RULES. After the bite from a radioactive spid...dog, we are treated to bad CGI of hairy germs taking over his blood cells, like we didn't already guess Tim Allen was going to turn into a fucking dog.

So instead of going to the hospital to get check out for RABIES (cause you know, you WERE bitten by a strange dog), he just goes to sleep. The audience is then assaulted with a sequence of scenes showing Tim Allen (the human) doing dog like things (sleeping at foot of bed, shoving face into bowl of cereal, growling in court). It's so ham fisted. Yet, how obvious this shit is, he has NO clue why he is acting strange. No seriously, not a clue.

Side note: evil co guesstimated that the dog lives 7 years for every one year (like reverse dog years) but the dog is said to be 300 years old. But it doesn't...make sense? Does that math make sense? How does that work? Don't know why they included it. I can get behind a magical ever living dog...I guess. The more attention you bring to it, the more questions I have about it. As shit, now I have to ask these questions!

So there is no real backstory on the dog, which can be fine. Most people can accept that maybe this dog is just magical. But then they throw in this whole it's from Tibet and it's real name is Fuck This Movie (actually it was something like You R Phat or something). So...is this dog a dog? Or a human that turned into a dog? Did some monk master meditation and turned into the dog? The dog acts like a dog the whole time during the movie, UNTIL THE END, when you see the Tibet magic dog FUCKING SURFING A WAVE. So it can't just be a normal dog? Is it just a really hairy, short, Asian person? I thought maybe the dog would pass on this gene by biting, you know, passing the torch. I figured it was a human, who got turned into the dog and then he passes it on to another human. But this is way more thought than any of the seven or so screenwriters gave it, so fuck it.

So during all this shit, there is still a trial going on where Tim Allen has to prosecute the teacher...and then he does dog things in the court...and then Danny Glover (doing his best lethal weapon impersonation) tells him HE'S OFF THE CASE. Ahhh. That felt good. This movie is like a compilation of famous actors doing roles they did in much better movies.

So Tim Allen gets captured by evil co, Tony Stark injects the CEO with magic dog blood...which will knock him out for a few months and then when he wakes up, Stark will be the CEO and not him. THAT'S HOW THE MOVIE DESCRIBED IT. Then Tim Allen gets AQUAMAN powers and is able to talk to the fucked up animal monstrosities the lab had and they all escape.

This fucking movie blows. I'm wasting my time and wrists writing this. So they steal a car, he uses scrabble letters to tell his idiot family that the dog is him (hilarity also ensues as there are scenes of the old switch a roo, where the family thinks the magic dog is tim allen, but it's just a dog! so then they tell the magic dog to do stuff but it just sits there, and then the mom just sits there doing what she thinks is acting and staring at the dog with a slight look of confusion, or maybe constipation, and at one point she takes 3 seconds before she says her next line...and fuck).

Also, Tim Allen figures out you can go back to human if you sleep! or if you just meditate enough! Fuck whatever.

So the most egregious part of this film is when Tim Allen gets stuck in traffic and he has to make it to court, he starts running and getting your heart beat up turns you into a dog, and he's running as a dog, then jumps off a building and says...

TO INFINITY...AND BEYOND!

FUCK YOU MOVIE. FUCK OFF. This movie can't stand by itself so it just steals from much better movies. FUCK THIS MOVIE.

In the end, Tim Allen bites Robert Downey Jr, tim allen questions the witness again (even though that's not how trials work, plus defensive council did not object to anything, plus never cross examined the witness which you are ALLOWED to do after the prosecution questions a witness...).....so after Tim Allen badgers the witness, JR does some dog stuff and people freak out and somehow that acquits the teacher from arson. THAT'S NOT HOW ANYTHING WORKS. Then he is immediately made the NEW DA (what happened to the old one?) then he immediately (off screen perhaps) books a trip to OAHU! NICE!

Then we are transported to OAHU, where the family is watching that magical fucking dog catching a wave and the wife delivers the Oscar Winning Line of, "I wish he didn't have to go back to Tibet" O_O

WHAT?! WHAT KIND OF LINE IS THAT? Plus, why the fuck DOES that dog have to go back to Tibet?! It's a fucking dog! The monks lost that dog for like weeks and they didn't give a flying fuck about him. Plus, they apparently are not concerned that a dog is RIDING A FUCKING WAVE.

FUCK YOU MOVIE. I guess there was a tender moment where Tim Allen did tell his obviously gay son that he was okay with whatever he wanted to be. That was nice, I suppose. But then again, if he wasn't okay with it, it would just prove how BAD OF A DAD HE WAS (DRINK DRINK DRINK!)

Overall, this movie could be categorized as something between a rock and a hard place, if that rock was made of a steaming pile of shit, and a hard place was a landfill full of steaming piles of shit.This movie physically hurt me.

I understand these movies aren't supposed to be original. This movie is supposedly for kids. Yet, we've seen that you can make a movie that both kids and adults can enjoy (or kids enjoy and adults ball their eyes out over, I'm looking at you UP and Toy Story 3). But this doesn't even work for kids. If it's for kids, why all the sub plots? Why not more goofy dog CGI hijinx? It's just shit.

BTW, the director, Brian Robbins, just directs garbage. He's directed this, Norbit, Meet Dave, Thousand Words...just plain bad movies.

Even if you are in the mood for a bad movie, just skip this one. It's much too painful.

Groundhog Day

Good movie, Am I right or Am I right or Am I right? Right right right.

The Grifters
The Grifters (1990)
½

This is a strange movie to say the least. The positive is that you definitely get that noir feel in the movie and the soundtrack starts to grow on you. I also enjoyed the performances of Cusack, Huston and Bening. I thought they all did an excellent job. I personally hated the editing. Too fast of cuts, unnecessary cross fades. Ruined flow. Also, the movie takes a good 40 to 50 minutes to really get going, which is way too long. I started wondering out loud when it was going to get interesting. Not to mention the mob boss's name was bobo. Like what? Bobo? I'm scared of Bobo? Also, it's a little hard to follow the grifting schemes (Lilly and the horse track scheme, Bobo and the oranges). It was a little tough to figure that out, and unlike something like Wolf of Wall Street (which is a character study and therefore the importance is not on the illegal acts), this is not that. It is actually kind of important to understand some of these things. Also, I know there was this Oedipus complex I guess going on, but from how it was directed, it wasn't clear whether Lilly was Roy's actual mother, or maybe like an old lady he used to date, or what. I think that weakens that theme. Also, Roy doesn't necessarily have a real goal. He tells Lilly that he's out of the game, but obviously he's not, but you don't really know what he wants. Does he want Myra? Or Lilly? Or money? Not quite sure and it doesn't delve into this at all. The action does pick up in the second half of the movie and there are some great twists. Unfortunately, you had to slough through the first half to get there. Overall, I think I like it a little better now (as I have to rewatch parts and make a trailer of the film for editing class) but it's still a meh movie for me.

Jackass Presents: Bad Grandpa
½

I liked this movie a lot more than I thought I would. I actually didn't think I'd like it at all, especially cause these movies usually have some precocious twat kid in there.

The laughs are mostly fart and poop jokes obviously. I knew that was coming, but there are still moments that are particularly shocking and hilarious (strip club scene the best example). I will say, I appreciate the director's choice to not let these gags go on for too long. It was nice editing these gags so they ran shorter instead of longer. Did not feel like the movie dragged.

I will also say that the story was actually decent. I'm not looking for something that's going to blow my mind, just a story that gets from point A to point B and that justifies the dumb shit they do in the movie. This movie did this and you'd be surprised how many movies don't have this (I'm looking at you Kevin Smith, zach and Miri make a porno? go to hell). Clear objective from bad grandpa, clear objective from precocious twat kid, clear objective from shit dad. You'd be surprised how many movies don't have this but want you to laugh at their shit. So basic story, but since these objectives are so clear, I can get into the story. Movie ends on a nice note.

Definitely low low low brow humor, but better than you would expect.

Revolutionary Road

Liked the movie. Did hit on a lot of touchy subjects (man's worth, definition of crazy, giving up on dreams etc.) I thought it did a nice job touching these subjects, but maybe I feel it didn't really go into any of them as deeply as I would have liked. I did like the John, the mentally challenged son. One of my favorite themes in movies is the definition of crazy (it being subjective and based on societal norms). I liked how he was deemed crazy, however, he was just speaking untold truth. Deemed crazy as he didn't follow the societal norms of the 1950s. Thought he was a little too convenient though, as I didn't catch why Kathy Bates really brought him around much. Maybe to get him some air? I guess? Sounded swell at the time, I suppose.

The Wolf of Wall Street
½

Loved this film. Another great character study about the life of Jordan Belfort. There are definitely a lot of great comedic parts, it's very well acted throughout. Big props to Matthew McConaughey and Jonah Hill as I did not expect them to deliver the great performances they did. There is a lot of debauchery and it possibly could have been shortened a little bit. I was aware that it took 3 hours, however, it was not that it dragged. If that makes sense. It had my attention, and the pacing worked (you see the IRS investigate almost exactly at the halfway point). Plus, it's a character study, so we don't really care about the IRS investigation.

There is a lot of sex and titties. Part of the story. There are intense moments in the movie toward the end. Basically, the part where Leo has to try to maintain control but obviously things are spinning out of control at a frantic pace. That's where Leo really excels, that's kind of HIS thing. Overall, great movie, great acting by the supporting actors.

There Will Be Blood

Just an awesome movie. Great character study. The movie has NO dialogue in the first 15 minutes. Bold movie for a movie. However, it pays off as it doesn't need any dialogue. Much of the movie asks the audience to just take in everything, because there is a lot to take in. The shots are long, there is very little cutting back in forth, even when there is dialogue between two characters. Often two scenes were edited together with a cross fade, reminded me of old western movies. Not the biggest fan of it, but it made sense.

*Spoiler*?

My favorite scene is when H.W. comes back from boarding school and he meets Daniel out in the field. As Daniel talks to H.W., it is a far shot and they are in the background. What's in the foreground? The oil pipeline. It's the shot that is most indicative of the whole film.

The build up of the whole film really delivers at the final scene. An intense showdown. Daniel Day Lewis excels at this character. I will never look at a milkshake the same way again.

Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues
½

Fuck this movie. *spoilers ahead*

I didn't expect it to be good. The first probably half of the movie is surprisingly funny. There are a bunch of fun moments (chicken of the cave, kitty photos, Brick thinking he was dead). All of that was fun. They were jokes propelled by the plot. Ron Burgundy has to reassemble the team, so let's have fun with that. It was great. I was laughing a ton.

The turning point was the retarded, "let's have the strong black woman character all of a sudden want to fuck the shit out of Ron Burgundy" angle. It came out of nowhere. It was lazy writing. Why? She hated this guy two seconds ago, and because he has a good night of rating by doing human interest stories, all of a sudden she wants to fuck him? No. Lazy writing. This starts the trend of the jokes propel the plot. It's the backwards way of writing a movie. We see a strong female character get reduced to a nymphomaniac, then we see Ron Burgundy have dinner with her all black family! This scene did have humorous moments, but it just being placed in there for the jokes and not moving the story along, hurts the movie.

Then the rest of the plot points in the movie are based on providing more jokes. It really doesn't make sense why the team broke up. There is a point where Ron says it's unethical to not air the Koala airlines story, even though he's PURPOSELY not reporting real news. So why all of a sudden is it unethical? LAZY WRITING, that's why. This could all work.

Then Ron breaks up the team and hubris gets the better of him...or whatever. After a just retarded throwback to blades of glory, he goes blind (again to move to more jokes). After a mind numblingly long time seeing Ron fumble around being blind, having to endure that dip shit kid forever, deus ex machina hits and there is an operation that can restore sight. Gah. Whatever.

Then he comes back and the news station loves him, they need him back. Why? People didn't watch the news for Ron, they watched for human interest stories. Why couldn't anyone else just do that as well? It wasn't like he was doing something anyone else couldn't do. This point I wouldn't even drive home, since I could just consider it a conceit the director wanted us to believe. Let's just say Ron was that great.

Then it becomes, save the news or go to your son's recital. Fuck. Fuck this shit. This movie had no definitive ending. They didn't know how to end it, so they decided to inject drama with this menial dumb ass shit. Then the next what fifteen twenty minutes makes no fucking sense. The final fight scene was just shameless celebrity plugging, you had (if I can remember everyone): John C Reilly [who was great at stonewall jackson], Sasha Baron Cohen, Jim Carrey, Tina Fey, Kayne West, Liam Neeson, Will Smith, FUCKING VINCE VAUGHN....there were more. Just a dumb idea. Plus brick got a future gun, there were super powers, no explanation on why any of this happened.

Blah blah blah, made the recital (no way he could have with how long that fucking fight took) and it ends all great or something.

Now I know some people are going to say, "you're taking this movie too seriously, it's just a silly movie" and to that I say that, yes it's silly, but it still has to play by the rules it sets up. If the movie follows the reality it sets, fine, I can deal with it. I like to look back at Naked Gun, which is ALSO a silly movie, but it's written much better. The plot makes sense. Is it absurd? YES. But since it makes sense with the reality it creates. People CAN die. You see OJ simpson take a bunch of gun shots, then hit wet paint, burn his hand, all these things and fall off a boat. That's part of the plot, then they said, how can we make this funnier? That's the difference.

Write a decent story, have things make sense, then figure out how to tweak it to be funny. I thought this movie in the beginning did a great job of that. (not coincidentally, Will Ferrell was funnier when a) playing the straight man and b) with his ensemble, further proving that Will Ferrell can't hold up a movie by himself anymore).

This Is the End

I actually enjoyed this movie a lot more than I expected. I don't like Seth Rogen much and at the beginning of the movie, you are subjected to some awkward conversations and the whole, "IT'S SETH ROGEN! IT'S THIS PERSON!" but thankfully it's short lived. The movie has bad CGI but for this movie, it's actually a bit charming. The chemistry really picks up after the plot kicks in. There were some bits that I felt went a little too long and there was a scene with Jonah Hill that I thought was a bit unnecessary (near the end). Thankfully, this movie knew we didn't care about the actual alien menace and that we cared about the relationships between the people (lots of movies get this wrong). The ending is pretty hilarious and I have to say a coked out Michael Cera is the best thing to happen ever. Also, KEVIN HART! and damn I keep forgetting, shout out to this movie for recognizing true greatness, Waxamillion and "I aint got no panties on, on the dance floor"

500 Days of Summer
½

Decent movie. Zooey Deschanel is a little TOO suited to play her part (she's so god damn quirky isn't she). Love JGL. Some very fun parts in the movie (Hall & Oates montage, Cat greeting cards). Love, love, LOVED the expectation vs reality segment in the movie. Thought it was a very clever and artistic way to get the point across, plus add in Hero by Regina Spektor and makes for, by far, the most powerful moment in the movie. Wish the rest of the movie could live up to my favorite scene in the movie. Still a good watch though, and FUCK YOU ZOOEY!

Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father

One of the saddest movies I had ever seen. Documentary keeps great pace and great use of old media intermixed with interviews to keep interest high throughout the piece.

Leprechaun
Leprechaun (1993)

Gah. I get it, you're a god damn leprechaun. Jesus. Also, the precocious kid, the mentally challenged uncle, the boyfriend who flies in from the right hand of the screen, the creepy dad, and...well Jennifer Aniston were just awful.

A Nightmare on Elm Street

I wish that bitch would close her god damn mouth!

Lee Daniels' The Butler
½

I wasn't a particular fan of the camera work in the film. He loved the close ups a little too much and the camera was frantic during some scenes. There was also a lot going on in the film, a lot of moving pieces, and some didn't get enough attention to pay off. However, it was a very engrossing story and the ending is fantastic. Many of the plants in the movie paid off in the end. Forest Whittaker is fantastic and the makeup really looked fantastic. Oprah was also very good in the film. Also, a lot of great cameos for the presidents. Overall, it's a movie people should see.

The Conjuring

It was an alright movie. I'll admit, I didn't let myself get TOO into the movie but I had fun with it. I found myself laughing more than being spooked. Genuinely spooky moments in the movie. Just have an issue with some of the soundtrack. Creepy music gives a lot of scares away. Also, the soaring melodies at the end was very jarring and inappropriate. I did enjoy most of how it was shot. May sound weird but enjoyed the establishing shots although he came close to abusing the slow pan to reveal. One problem and this is with horror movies in general, is that the audience isn't retarded. Don't leave the camera on something that is supposed to be important later and make it obvious. Also, the conclusion happens very suddenly. That's also a bit hasty. Reminds me of Wolf Creek, where it just basically ends. Also, plus for the guy from Office Space being the husband. I knew he looked familiar!

Kevin Hart: Let Me Explain

The start of the movie starts off with a sketch and then tour footage. The set up is nice, it gives you an in on the life of Kevin Hart, makes him vulnerable and instantly likable. It just felt like it took a little too long. The stand up takes a minute to get into, however, there are great bits in the stand up. He carries over some mannerisms from previous specials, but it's definitely not rehashing of material. Unfortunately, either the whole performance wasn't shown or it was cut. It's unfortunate because Hart makes use of callbacks and weaving stories, so that near the end of the act, he'll make references to earlier jokes. It's something I really enjoy of his act. His bit aren't as funny as his first two specials but there are definitely great moments to be had.

The Addams Family
½

Fun movie. Good to see Raul Julia in something that wasn't Street Fighter or Overdrawn at the Memory Bank.

Pitch Perfect
½

It's a funny movie and I enjoyed it. It just isn't really my bag. Acapella groups going after each other reminds me a lot of Glee, which I'm not a huge fan of anyway. Also, acapella music can only be so interesting after so long for me. Plus, Beca was kind of a bitch for TOO long of the movie. Wasn't she supposed to be in class or something too? Ah whatever. Yeah, movie was really enjoyable though.

Bachelorette
Bachelorette (2012)

This movie is pretty awful. It is horribly paced and it's not very well written. Why the bitchy bridesmaids were even friends with rebel Wilson was a mystery. And the problem with that is the rest of the movie makes no sense. These women are obviously bitches to rebel, you never had a sense that she was one of them, so for them to give that much of a shit to fix her dress and make amends falls flat. And that trend of why anyone Ives a shit about anyone else continues through the whole movie. Also, the tone of the movie switches so schizophrenically, it will make your head spin. At one moment the characters are having a laugh and the next, you have one about to purge and getting a lecture. Just these weird forced moments. Plus the funny moments aren't funny, the poignant moments aren't poignant. Nothing really hits. Disappointing since it had a very talented cast.

The Purge
The Purge (2013)

Movie is just fucking awful. When I saw Ethan Hawke on the screen, I was ready to be disappointed (SINISTER) but again he was tolerable compared to his shitty family. Charlie is insufferable as the precocious son who is supposed to serve as the voice of reason but man. That kid. I wish he fell off a balcony into a garden of knives. Just everything about this movie is heavy handed, like the director and writer didn't know what subtlety is or how to build suspense. They mention the purge and the new founding father or some bullshit but never explain it, which I could be okay with if they just gave just a little background on what the hell happened to cause this. Just a little. Characters keep bringing up the new founding fathers so you want to know what the shit that's about. Then you have the whole, "IS THE PURGE LETTING OUT AMERICAN RAGE OR IS IT JUST A DEVICE TO ELIMINATE THE POOR?!" They just flat out have a news reporter say that. I'm glad you didn't let your movie posit that notion, I'm glad you explained that whole concept away. If it wasn't clear enough, then you have the white affluent family scared of the black homeless man. Also, there needs to be a limit on how many times you can use the shot where, "Character looks around, camera follows, close up shot on character's face showing concern, have it last for ten to fifteen seconds, camera remains stationary and character exits frame to reveal an evil character in the background" Too many times. Then more stupid things happen, the main villain must have watched The Dark Knight and tried his best creepy Heath Ledger, more stupid shit happens, the family takes turns being the voice of reason (We need to kill him, oh god what are we doing what have we become?!, oh maybe we should kill him) at various times. Also, the director liked to linger on objects that were going to be important later on. OH THERE'S A TRAP DOOR IN THE CLOSET, DID YOU GET IT? THE SHOT ON THE TRAP DOOR LASTED 10 SECONDS. YOU GET THAT IT'S GOING TO BE IMPORTANT LATER? Dumb. Shit was awful.

The Super Mario Bros.

SCAPELLI! PLUMBER ALERT! Holy crap, this movie ruined child hood nostalgia for me. It's one of the worst things ever.

The Great Gatsby

I've read the book a long time ago but it hit the points that I remembered (except one part near the end, changed because well it's a movie and it worked out in the end anyway). Really loved this movie, I thought the mixing of the music was fabulous (mixing it contemporary music with old bandstand like instruments).

The Road to El Dorado
½

It's a fun movie, got some great funny parts. The two lead characters have great chemistry. Still wondering how all these indigenous people learned English so fast, and why the antagonist (who is also indigenous) spoke fancier English than everyone else. MY LOOOOOORD.

Rent: Filmed Live on Broadway
½

And it's beginning to snooooooow!

Django Unchained
½

Another great Tarantino movie. There were just a few spots of ridiculousness I couldn't get behind. No, there shouldn't have been any Rick Ross or Tupac playing in this movie (really jarring, felt out of place), some of the over the top gore was even too much (women getting hit by a bullet and going PERPENDICULAR to where she was shot), some of the cut scenes that were just weirdly placed, the women with the bandanna who made no difference to the story at all, and the fact that there were hardly any obstacles in obtaining their goals. "We have to do this thing...okay we did that. Now let's do this thing...okay that was easy. Let's do this thing and let's have an overly complicated plot to do it...oh it backfired...oh but it still works out in the end." EVEN WITH ALL OF THESE THINGS, I still really enjoyed the movie, but I don't slurp the Tarantino kool-aid as readily as other people. He's great, not flawless.

Les Misérables
½

Tears! Tears I say!

Rubber
Rubber (2011)

Retarded. I hate movies that do weird shit, just to do weird shit. I hate that. The whole monologue of "No Reason" is bullshit, I wanted to throat chop everyone in the movie. Waste of my time.

Street Fighter

Just goofy as shit. So bad. Merely Tuesday.

The Little Mermaid

Look at this stuff, isn't it neat?!

The Aristocats

Everybody wants to be a cat!

Do the Right Thing

I love the use of the Public Enemy song "Fight the Power" being used throughout the film but the irony that the characters in the film think they are fighting the power, but they are actually just fighting amongst other disadvantaged powerless people.

Jaws
Jaws (1975)

Spielberg, you are amazing. Every shot in the film has a distinct purpose. There's not a wasted shot. He effectively builds tension throughout the film. Never gets dull, effective use of everyone in the film. It was awesome.

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2

This movie is all sorts of terrible. First of all, replace Robert Pattinson and Kirsten Stewart and I could have sworn this was some sort of made for TV movie that should be playing on SYFY. There were a ton of terrible effects, bad green screening, horrible dialog and just an overwhelming sense of "Why the fuck did they make this into a movie?" The best part of the movie was the action near the end but that is waved away so Tatanka and Pochahantas can have a monologue. It's just terrible. Oh and let's not forget when Jacob asks Edward, "Do I call you dad now?" Just terrible.

Labyrinth
Labyrinth (1986)

ROCKS ARE FRIENDS.

Sinister
Sinister (2012)

pffffffft. It had a good setup but just no payoff. The deputy is a lazy plot device, the local university occult expert was lame and the wife gave in all too quickly.

The 400 Blows (Les Quatre cents coups)

I enjoyed the film and I get the significance, but I just get bored with the story. It just seems like things happen. That's it. Things happen. Then other things happen. Then one more thing happens.

Hairspray
Hairspray (1988)

The end gets a bit wonky with the timing, but really fun goofy movie.

The Mist
The Mist (2007)

Great film. The tension between the characters is much more engaging than the menace which makes the film much more interesting. The ending is phenomenal. It gets a tad slow in the middle and the acting is what I would consider great either.

Casablanca
Casablanca (1943)

All sorts of amazing.

Taken 2
Taken 2 (2012)

It gets an extra star because Liam Neeson is a bad ass and it never lies about what it is. Still, this movie had some of the worst editing I have ever seen. Why do you need so many cuts in a conversation?!! Also, the plot only moves along because the Albanians are so damn stupid and you never ever really are afraid for anyone in the film unlike in the first film. Also, Liam "A trip to Istanbul will be fun?" Seriously? After what happened like a year ago? Dumb.

The Complete Metropolis

The visuals are stunning, even by today's standards. It's just everything in the movie is so ham-fisted. I think some subtlety would have been great.

The Fifth Element

What I like about it is that it's a sci-fi movie but it has enough seriousness to keep you invested but it doesn't take itself too seriously. It was entertaining to watch the whole way. It's a great cast too. BzzzzzzZZzZzz! BZZ!

The Other Guys
½

It's a bit too long, the plot is a bit too convoluted, Will is a bit too quiet. Like there are some hilarious gags in the movie, but a bunch of the jokes don't hit and I feel it's a bit of the acting in the film. Otherwise, it had some funny moments.

Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie

I'm a huge fan of T and E but this movie is really awful.

The Hunger Games
½

I thought it was good. Never reading the book, I had a fresh mind coming in. The one thing I will say about the movie though is that I felt that they spent too much time on the setting and the world and not enough on the relationship of the characters. The biggest missed opportunity was with Rue. I didn't feel they explored the relationship between Rue and Katniss enough. It even felt like it was like "We needed to hit this point, okay we hit this point, let's move on." That was unfortunate. Got told what the sponsors did. They could have been better explained I'm sure. Again though, too much set dressing, not enough relationship. I get it, bleak future, keep people down, give them a little hope, sure sure. I got it. GET TO THE RELATIONSHIPS!

The Dark Knight Rises

It has its flaws and it isn't as good as a movie as The Dark Knight, however, it was an amazing end to an amazing trilogy.

Spider-Man 3
Spider-Man 3 (2007)

You got to play it....COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

Ted
Ted (2012)
½

Mark Wahlberg FTW!

Troll 2
Troll 2 (1990)

OOOOH MYYYY GAAAAWWWWWDDDD!

Men in Black III
½

Actually a really enjoyable movie with a great conclusion. Takes time for Will to get back into his form, but when he does, it's very fun to watch and the chemistry on film is great to watch.

The Dictator
The Dictator (2012)

I will say, I probably like this movie more than maybe I should have. Again, not as funny as Borat, not as horrific as Bruno. Nice in between.

The Terminator

It's still a great movie, but please please please don't think too hard about the story. So...many...plotholes...but still an awesome movie.

The Grey
The Grey (2012)

The movie gets an extra half star just cause Liam Neeson is amazing. Its a good movie. It has some good pacing. The dialogue is raw (with liberal use of the word fuck) but overall I feel it fits. There is a moment at the end where I thought the movie would betray itself by copping out but surprised me when it didn't. Overall a good movie.

The Adjustment Bureau

SPOILERS! i liked the movie idea, but the execution was so sloppy. The adjustment bureau should change their name to keystone cops. They were retarded, like goofy. Then you had this whole "stick to the plan!" but then they are like "oh but we can change the plan" . what the fuck does it matter then if he goes off plan if you can just change the plan? That ruins the whole predetermined fate shit. Plus, there was this whole shit of like "the adjustment bureau guy said this to me" " oh no he just lied to you, dont listen to him" well im sorry, but im not going to listen to them either. he can read minds "no he cant" he told me and her couldnt be together "hes just got sand in his vag". what? And the end deserves a huge fuck off movie. IT WAS A TEST ALL ALONG, YOU PASSED! He should have just shouted "DEUS EX MACHINA!"

Thor
Thor (2011)

Wished that Thor didn't have such a huge vagina in the movie.

Dark Harbor
Dark Harbor (1999)
½

*SPOILERS* I would like to think that Norman Reedus was there as a symbol of Death, and when Alexis finally gave into him, it symbolized that she gave into death. That's how I like to think that went. This gay lovers thing with Alan Rickman and Norman Reedus was retarded and practically unwarranted. Stupid.

Kung Pow! Enter the Fist

Not as bad as people make it out to be. It's got some pretty fun moments. There are so stupid parts, where it gets too self referential, but generally a fun watch.

Beyond the Mat

It's an interesting look into the world of professional wrestling. I really enjoyed the juxtaposition of promoter and wrestler and see the different view they had. The Jake the Snake bits were intense. One problem I had was misplacement of "Stand By Me" music. It felt awkward. Also, the documentary didn't feel like it had a strong conclusion, bit of a problem on the narrators part. Overall, good watch.

Elephant White
½

Love me some Djimon Honsou! The movie was a bit clumsy with it's message and the story gets muddy in the middle but the end pulls it together and salvages most of the movie. Still a bit strange, some of the actions but overall a decent movie.

Mortal Kombat
½

Look, it's not a great movie, sure, video games movies usually aren't. But this one was entertainingly bad. I actually enjoyed the fight between scorpion and johnny cage. Johnny cage was actually the most enjoyable part of the movie. Sonya was a blackhole of terrible. overall entertaingly bad movie (why is raiden a white guy?!)

Big Money Rustlas

Terrible. I equate this much like Boondock Saints 2, all saints day. You had a good first film, cult classic. Ten years later, people want to relive that nostalgia. The problem is, this movie is almost the same identical plot as the first one, and there are no new interesting nor redeeming qualities. One problem was that the script seemed written for all the celebrity cameos (which there are a fucking lot of) and the story suffered. Plus a lot of really lame jokes, I mean even lamer that the lowest common denominator shit (NEW YORK CITY?!?!) and also the movie took itself too seriously.

Big Money Hustlas

It is a goofy movie, but it had some very funny moments. It's overall goofiness and the fact that the movie doesn't take itself too seriously (i.e. violent j breaking fourth wall) was refreshing. It had some slow moments and some very lowest common denominator jokes (not surprising but hey, gotta say it) but overall it's a good guilty pleasure movie.

Iron Man 2
Iron Man 2 (2010)
½

Final battle could have been longer. Beginning was a bit too corny. A tad too much avengers set up. Other than that, pretty good movie.

Dirty Dancing
½

It was a decent movie. Low stakes movie though, didn't feel like anything was on the line.

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World
½

For a moment it seemed like the movie dragged on for just maybe a minute or two but it picked up. It's a very entertaining movie and a great clash of different genres into one.

Analyze That
Analyze That (2002)
½

The plots very thin, and if I didn't love de niro and crystal, then its not enjoyable.

Crank 2: High Voltage

Terrible. Just terrible. I didn't give two shits. btw, mike patton, goto hell.

Capote
Capote (2005)

great performance by Philip Seymour Hoffman.

Machete
Machete (2010)

Terrible. Just Terrible.

Brüno
Brüno (2009)
½

plenty of funny moments but for a movie as a whole, it was retarded. It's not believable at all. You could just put the funny parts in about 15 minutes. The rest of the movie was retarded.

Cloverfield
Cloverfield (2008)
½

"wouldn't it be weird if a flaming homeless guy just came at us out of nowhere?"

Despicable Me
½

The story wasn't like phenomenal or anything but the voice acting and just how cute this movie was! ahh! love steve carrell!

Shutter Island
½

It's a very interesting story. Still has me guessing what is really going on. There were a lot of continuity errors (See: Leo and his amazing disappearing glass of water!) and theres one explaining scene that kind of went on too long but overall an excellent movie.

Transporter 3

he beats up people with his shirt! i can dig it.

Manhunter
Manhunter (1986)

The film was actually well written and acted pretty well. The problems I had was that the pacing seemed to be a little choppy. It seemed to get action, then it went back to detective solving talking about stuff wasting too much time sort of issue. It started to drag a little. Also, that end sequence is so horribly shot than it really detracts from the overall tight movie. So many bad edits at the end of it really take away.

Red Dragon
Red Dragon (2002)

This movie is a flaming piece of turd. It's got some great actors in it, like a hop, ed norton, philip seymour hoffman, but the one actor that should have been a well known one should have been whoever played francis dolarhyde. Dolph Lundgrens brother shouldn't have played this role, especially since it was such an important role in this movie. Now I've seen the original manhunter and didn't appreciate the tension and suspense that one created. I do now since this movie said fuck all that noise, this is going to be "got to catch the bad guy cop drama" with very little emphasis on the battle that will graham has to fight with himself. Throw that out the window. Plus, dolarhyde has such a confusing backstory. It doesn't make any sense, plus the movie shoving the red dragon premise down your throat makes little sense. PLUS, fuck that twist ending. That was logically impossible. SPOILER ALERT: Ok he didn't shoot himself. You learn that, but who did he shoot? There was a body. You find out it's supposedly his coworker ralph mandy. Allright, he's dead for sure, got one right between the eyes. So wait? He's dead dead. He supposedly shot him and you see reba find the body, so how did the blood splatter hit the side of her face? Where was this floating body? It couldn't have been on the ground the whole time because a) the blood splatter came from the side, not from beneath her and B) there was a wide shot 20 seconds earlier that showed NO BODY on the ground where it was to be found. So that made no sense. It was a cheap way to infuse some drama and suspense in this shitty movie.

Hannibal
Hannibal (2001)
½

Julianne Moore isn't Jodie Foster and she never really finds herself in the film.

TRON
TRON (1982)
½

The story of the movie was before its time and it was pretty good. The presentation, yes, it does not fare well with the movie. The jargon and lingo was a little off and I just felt bored through some parts, but overall a good film.

Zombieland
Zombieland (2009)
½

Jesse Eisenberg is the poor man's Michael Cera and if they used Cera instead of Eisenberg, it would be so much better. It was a little annoying in the beginning but Woody Harrelson is so amazing that he makes it epic.

The Men Who Stare at Goats
½

This movie is soooooo bad. It just doesn't make any sense. SPOILER ewan is wayyy too interested in George's far fetched psychic shit. I know he's trying to impress his ex wife with a great story but like does it come across his mind that this shit is fucking ridiculous? Like is this really going to impress his ex wife? I understand he's desperate but showing some restrain or skepticism would have made much more sense. The movie wants to be a comedy and a drama and does neither. It just fails. The movie doesn't know how it wants to portray the whole psychic aspect. It portrays it in a very far out not believable way but at the end it shows ewan phasing through a wall. WHAT? IT doesn't make sense. Plus how artificial the drama is. George "I have cancer. At least thats what the doctors say" what?! out of left field, he has cancer, and we're supposed to give a fuck, well i don't. That's lazy writing and this movie is plagued with it.

The Blind Side
½

It's a very inspirational story. I just thought it got boring as all hell in the middle of the story and I think it could have been written keep the drama up throughout the movie like precious did. Where precious had something good happened and then something bad would always come by and test precious. This movie was a lot of testing of Oher in the beginning and then it was just all good stuff for him later. Still a must watch. Also, did not think sandra bullock earned a best actress award in this performance.

Batman Begins

The beginning is a bit long winded but after that, it starts to pick up and saves itself.

Punisher: War Zone
½

people die. and people die many different ways. That's the great part about it. Other than that, movie is really lacking. But hey, you like people die many different ways and seeing punisher be a badass? This is it.

The Deer Hunter

3 hrs long and i was not bored for a second of it. Lot of great powerful imagery and great acting jobs. De Niro is amazing!

Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire

Mo'Nique definitely deserved that best supporting actress oscar she got.

Rocky
Rocky (1976)

It's actually a really good movie, lots of background on rocky himself. For me, it just dragged on for parts, cause you're waiting for things to happen and such. Rocky is kind of a creep too. Forceful creep.

The 40 Year Old Virgin
½

There are some great one liners in this movie. Movie flows pretty well, just a few parts that are kinda slow and some kinda take away from the story.

Clash of the Titans

I don't know why people hated this movie so much. Yes we all know it's not the original and it's not supposed to be the original. I enjoyed watching it, and for the people that have their panties in a bunch about how it's not like the original, go watch the original, which many people admit wasn't that good.

The Wolfman
The Wolfman (2010)

Not a good movie. I love A HOP but he didn't seem to care about this movie. Cenicio Del Toro wasn't great in this either and I was just bored. I fell asleep watching this movie and the finale was kinda what saved it for me. And emily blunt's side boob.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Man, I was kinda going along with this movie but the second half of the movie lost me. Let's get this straight, Megan Fox is awful. Putting attention on her, detracts from the movie. The first movie got away with it because not a lot of attention was paid to her but in this one with the love story going, it takes away because she's awful. But what bugs me more than Fox's magically white pants that doesn't get dirty, or transformers balls, was the inane buildup for a horribly anti-climatic ending. Like the movie is named "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" yet most of this movie was following Shia and Fox slow-mo running through explosions. What? And it took them forever to get anywhere! Watch them for 30 minutes running from checkpoint to checkpoint. YAWN. And then when they finally get to where they need to go, theres a 2 minute transformer fight and end credits. WHAT?! Really? That's it? The movie that is supposed to be about transformers, is really about shia lebeouf running around and having a semi relationship with megan fox? How horribly anti climatic! Plus they have so many damn transformers, they needed damn name tags. Can't tell whose fighting who? Then it felt at the end with the fighting in the desert just reminded me of the first movie where they fought in almost the same environment if not the same place. If that was supposed to be like that, not sure, but it sucked. sucked.

Zack and Miri Make a Porno

ugh. movie is so bad. not believable at all. and just retarded.

The Naked Gun - From the Files of Police Squad!

That's not the umpire, It's Enrique Pallazzo!

Transformers
Transformers (2007)
½

Actually really good movie. Megan Fox didn't ruin it that much, even though I don't believe her character or her would EVER be caught dead on a moped. That was bullshit, but they kept toe thumbs to a minimum so the movie stayed really good. Funnier than I expected.

Law Abiding Citizen

Liked the movie, just wished you knew more about the gerard butler orgin story. You know he was contracted by mobsters? to kill a guy but you have no idea how he got into the business of killing people. I'm sure there wasn't a craigslist ad going, "need to kill a guy, looking for inventive people who recently had family murdered." But other than that, really liked the concept of the movie, ending was a blast, and gerard butler and jaime foxx are awesome actors.

Snakes on a Plane
½

A horribly cheesy movie that not even Samuel L Jackson could save. I'm surprised that many critics liked it. It was a bad movie. Even when Samuel Jackson finally said THE line, I couldn't care any less.

Sunshine Cleaning
½

I liked the movie but I felt overall that there were a lot of tangents that weren't properly explored. For one, this bugged me but you never find out who oscar's dad is and that bugs me. Then you have the whole Rose peers and how she feels unequal to them, then you have the affair with mack, then you have nora w/ her weird party thing and the whole Lesbian moment the movie never really explored. There were many parts of this movie that felt unexplored. Characters could have been explored more but overall still a good movie.

Blazing Saddles

not only are there so many great lines in this movie, it was a groundbreaking movie.

Meet Dave
Meet Dave (2008)

it was an allright movie but the funny was too far and few between.

Norbit
Norbit (2007)

actually like this movie a lot.

Runaway Jury
Runaway Jury (2003)

I read the book first then saw the movie. Of course I liked the book more, but the movie was decent enough. The ending though was kind of a let down though, but hey that's hollywood.

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

Damn it man, just tell me about the fucking golf shoes!

Clerks II
Clerks II (2006)
½

awful. tried too hard to be like it's predecessor and failed. Also seems as though Kevin Smith decides he wants funny lines written and he writes his movies this way and then decides to add a plot later. It's frustrating because you wanna get into the movie but then these non-sequitars come up. Out of nowhere they go kart racing? blah. blah. crap.

Army of Darkness

it's an awesome movie, in all it's campy goodness.

Wild Hogs
Wild Hogs (2007)

i don't care if this movie has a generic plot or anything else like that, it's a guilty pleasure movie. Having all these guys in the same movie was a treat for me and that's all I care about.

One Hour Photo

very creepy movie. I actually prefer to see robin in dramatic pieces rather than his comedic pieces now.

The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day
½

wow wow. So basically for most of the movie, it was just a rehash of the first one. The detective that replaced smeckler acted just like he did and had the same agenda (SHOCK!) and then they found an incompetent sidekick (SHOCK!) and disappointantly not as lovable as rocco, and take down the yakavetta family (SHOCK!). Throw in some Godfather Part II type flashback in the 50's that felt more like it was supposed to be the 20s that didn't pay off nearly as well as one would hope for and don't forget greenly dying which was much too reminiscent of the scene where rocco dies. Ahhh. The ending was decent will il duco and a surprise but watching a rehash for 90 minutes did not work for me

Selena
Selena (1997)
½

such a sad sad story.

Role Models
Role Models (2008)

"im going to run a train on these chicken fingers, i'm going to be like momomomdlkfjiouelkjflkjsdl;fjasdlkfja;slfj" LOL! killer funny movie. So many classic lines!

GoodFellas
GoodFellas (1990)

too bad ray liotta's career has gone down hill from here. It's sad really. But awesome movie.

Cats Don't Dance

one of my guilty pleasures movies

A Christmas Story

so many classic moments.

A Day Without a Mexican

I don't know when it gets funny, but not during any part I was watching. I would hardly call this movie social commentary. Yes, hispanics play a bigger role in society then people may give credit to, but this movie, with all the stereotypical humor, probably just set hispanics back a decade.

Righteous Kill
½

you get de niro and pacino in the same movie, you have to watch it. It's just sad they had to have curtis jackson in the shit.

Saw V
Saw V (2008)

just a filler movie to another saw movie. don't waste your time, it just spends all the time recapping what happened in other saw movies.

Falling Down
Falling Down (1993)
½

Movie is amazing! Michael Douglas plays an exceptional character that becomes more depraved as the movie continues, but you do feel sympathy for what he goes through. Great movie and it has Tom Hagen aka Robert Duvall!

How the Grinch Stole Christmas
½

I liked it more when I was in high school, for some reason, even in this movie, I felt like jim carrey is overacting even in a movie that encourages being over the top. Other than that, I still think it's great.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street
½

Love that movie! I got the soundtrack to it. Oh and you got to love Sacha Baron Cohen in it. NOPE IT WASA DA POPE!

Sherlock Holmes

Great movie, did seem to go maybe too long but then again there were 40 mins of previews before it so that could be it. Great movie.

Wolf Creek
Wolf Creek (2005)

Ghastly! 50 minutes of a stupid romance shit, then all the stupid decisions, the point where they have to watch a camcorder with recordings with other victims to realize this guy is a serial killer. then pushing a car off a cliff, then going "we need a car"....YOU JUST HAD ONE. retarded.

Ninja Assassin

It attempted to have a story background, but it actually would have done better w/o one. It is blood and gore all the way.

Smiley Face
Smiley Face (2007)

awful. Just awful.

Pulp Fiction
Pulp Fiction (1994)

Quinton Tarintino did not need to be in this movie. He brings it down with his horrible acting.

Inglourious Basterds
½

Good movie, but just got dead boring during the middle of it all.

Observe and Report

Horrific. HORRIFIC. First half was decent but then as movie goes on, you have no idea where it's going, you think seth rogen is crazy, or you think he's going to fall in love with anna faris, but then takes on a whole police dept, assaults 25 of them, shoots and probably kill a streaker, and gets rewarded for all of it. What the crap? Just awful.

Watchmen
Watchmen (2009)
½

Really too long, not satisfying. Also, sex scene was not enjoyable.

The Hangover
The Hangover (2009)

Hilarious, Zach Galifinakis is amazing.

The Matrix Revolutions
½

Garbage as well. That defending the city fight was too long. It was seriously like 30 minutes. Did not enjoy Neo turning into a little girl about "Trin" for christ's sakes. Him going blind and the talking machine, and uh. It felt forced. It was awful.

The Matrix Reloaded
½

Movie is garbage. It's only gets interesting at the point of the highway chase. Everything before that was awful. It's was trying to be as mindblowing as the first, with the whole, "you know the reason you are here blah blah blah" crap. That french guy was unbearable. Just unbearable. Also, too many sub story lines that didn't add up into anything. The whole Niobe, Lock, Morpheus love triangle crap was stupid and barely explained or put into focus, the orphan Neo apparently saved was not clear at all, why there was a rave sex scene is beyond me. Just garbage.