Jason's Message Wall

No messages.

About Jason

No user info supplied.

Latest Submissions

No Recent Submissions

Movies Jason Wants to See

No Want to See selections yet.

TV Seasons Jason Wants to See

No Want to See selections yet.

Jason's Recent Ratings

Movies | TV seasons
The Bogus Witch Project

The Bogus Witch Project

(2000)
3 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

This new DVD is a compelation of a bunch of knock-offs, parodies, and spoofs of The Blair Witch Project along with other horror-themed comedy. This disk should not be tossed aside lightly... it should be thrown with great force!

Out of all of the endless spoof capitilizing on the Blair Witch, this has got to be the most elementary. The Bogus Witch Project makes The Scooby Doo Project look like freakin' Chaucer! Avoid this DVD at all costs! It's stupid, it's insipid, and it's just there to suckle on the hype generated from the upcoming Blair Witch 2.

One of the funniest thing about this whole DVD is the fact that the cover exclaims proudly that Pauly Shore is the star of the feature... despite the fact that he only appears in five minutes of it. Not a bad thing, of course... after all less Pauly Shore is more but no Pauly Shore is best.

God, this DVD blows.

Atlantis: Milo's Return

Atlantis: Milo's Return

(2003)
4 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

[center][img]http://www.slightlywarped.com/movies/A/images/atlantis2.jpg[/img][/center]

I have the feeling we?ve all been had.

No, I?m not talking about how Disney makes cheap direct-to-video sequels to its animated movies, I?m talking about the latest ?sequel?, Atlantis: Milo?s Return. Is this really a sequel? Well, yes and no? I mean, it does pick up what?s been happening with the Atlantis crew, but I don?t think this is a motion picture.

In fact, I have the feeling that Atlantis: Milo's Return is more of a salvage operation? a way of saving wasted animation from a television series that never saw the light of day due to the movie?s poor box office. This wasted animation, I believe, was lumped together? a bit of extra animation was done to bridge the episodes, and then? viola! You?ve got an inexpensive Atlantis sequel.

I?m not sure of the details, but that?s what this movie seems like. It?s in three distinct segments that in no way relate to one another and each are thirty minutes long. It doesn?t take a rocket scientist to piece it all together? television episodes!

Believe me, this is one television-level attempt too. Sure, I count myself as one of the fans of Atlantis: The Lost Empire and it?s good to see the gang back in action? I just wish that the gang was in a little better form.

The story picks up a few years after the movie. Milo and Kida are living happily in Atlantis rebuilding the lost empire when suddenly (and inexplicably) the Atlantis crew show up with the news that a creature is attacking ships at sea. Kida fears that an Atlantean Leviathan may be on the loose so she joins the team to investigate. Soon, they find themselves in a strange village under mind control? but from what?

From there, the story shifts to the American Southwest where a pack of sand coyotes are attacking people. The Atlantis team must retrieve a lost Indian artifact to end the attacks.

Finally, the Atlantis team venture up north where a madman with an Atlantean spear believes that he is Odin and that it is his duty to bring about Ragnarok? the end of the world.

Sure, I know that the direct to video sequels are of lower quality than the motion pictures? it?s not something that I like, but it?s something that I accept. Still, the animation in Atlantis II is pitiful? as if the low paid Koreans who put it all together just stopped caring.

The individual segments aren?t anything overly terrible, but they are by no means memorable either, the animation is less than Saturday morning level, and the whole thing just feels pared down. If you?re a fan of the original Atlantis: The Lost Empire, I?d give this thing a rent just for nostalgia?s sake, but no way would I plunk down the cash to buy it.

Batman Gotham Knight

Batman Gotham Knight

(2008)
4 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

A few years back, there were animated companions coming out for every damn movie in theaters. Riddick had one, Van Helsing had one, The Matrix had one. Some were pretty good, others were so forgettable that I can?t recall a single darn thing about them. Now it looks like the tradition is being revived with Batman: Gotham Knight in which six different animators get a shot at showing off their own take on the Caped Crusader.

The first story is called ?Have I Got a Story for You? and, derivative of the Batman animated episode, ?Tales of the Dark Knight,? a bunch of kids get together and relate their tales of running into Batman. One sees him as a robot, one sees him as a bat-creature, and one sees him as a moving shadow. I liked the story, but I felt as if I?d already seen it once before.

Next is ?Crossfire? in which two of Gotham City?s police officers discussing the Batman while transferring a prisoner and, yes, it?s just as boring as it sounds.

?Field Test? is more like it as Batman tries out a brand new defensive weapon in taking on the mob. This segment captures Batman?s reverence for life, no matter how dirty it is.

The fourth segment is called ?In Darkness Dwells? and, in it, Batman comes cowl to snout with Killer Croc as he investigates what The Scarecrow is up to. I can?t help but think that this segment should have been better than what we ended up with. Sure, the look at Killer Croc was cool and everything, but when it gets bogged down in the Scarecrow business, it becomes less and less interesting.

?Working Through Pain? is an insightful and thoughtful look at how Batman deals with hurt. It?s told through a combination of flashbacks and a present-day tale of an injured Batman trying to get to safety that is both perceptive and sad.

?Deadshot? come last and has Batman facing a deadly assassin. It?s big gratifying ending to the compilation and has the first really satisfying bat-action. Just balls to the wall action.

Gotham Knight is a somewhat unbalanced affair, but it?s a must have for fans of DC animation as it welcomes back Kevin Conroy as the voice of the Bat. Personally, I liked half of the segments and didn?t care for the others, but it is passable and a nice companion piece for The Dark Knight.

Just don?t get your expectations up too high for this one.

Man's Best Friend

Man's Best Friend

(1991)
4 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

This morning I was waiting in the drive thru at McDonalds when I saw this homeless guy playing with his dog. For some reason, I thought it was the most touching thing I'd ever seen so, I tossed the guy an Egg McMuffin.

The dog leaped for it and, the last time I saw them, they were tumbling down an embankment wrestling over the muffin and headed towards a rampaging river.

And that, children, was my good deed of the month.

Club Dread

Club Dread

(2004)
4 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

[center][img]http://www.slightlywarped.com/movies/C/images/clubdread.jpg[/img][/center]

A couple of days ago, I wrote up a pretty detailed review of An American Werewolf in London where I stated that the movie succeeds in large part because it throws in just the right amount of comedy and horror into the mix where one doesn't overpower the other.

Well, welcome to the other side of that coin, kids. From the folks who made the legendary Super Troopers movie, it's Club Dread... the story of an island paradise, the ultimate party getaway, and murder!

The story takes place on a beautiful topical locale called Paradise Island ( not to be confused with the island that turned Pinocchio into a donkey or where Wonder Woman lives) that is owned by Coconut Pete (played by Bill Paxton in his best role since Hudson in Aliens), a washed-up Jimmy Buffet wannabe who has adopted the philosophy of getting drunk, partying, and mellowing out.

On the island with him is an oddball assortment of employees played by the Broken Lizard guys and a couple of other people. They are busy making sure that the guests are comfortable and partying and getting but soon, they find themselves in great danger when a killer starts stalking them for no apparent reason!

I like the Broken Lizard guys and I think that, in addition to Super Troopers, they're going to make some very funny movies down the road... I just don't think that Club Dread will be counted among them.

The comedy in this movie doesn't compliment the horror and the horror doesn't compliment the comedy. In fact, the horror and comedy in this movie appear to be opposing forces out to completely annihilate each other and like a base and an acid, all they do is cancel each other out. Club Dread couldn't decide what it wanted to be and the effect is uneven and a little jarring in places.

I mean, honestly... it goes from being a straight slasher movie to slapstick comedy in one breath... keeping the goofball characters all the way through into the serious parts where they just about undermine any tension that could have been built!

Still, I have to admit... when it wanted to be funny, it was... kind of funny and when it wanted to be scary, it was... a little scary. There are some pretty funny and inventive moments in Club Dread like, for instance, a new way to play Pac-Man, but nothing particularly memorable or even quotable.

Still, like I said, I like these guys and I did chuckle consistently throughout the movie, even if those chuckles never evolved into genuine laughter. At the most, I'd say that this is one movie to see once, but don't expect to have anything stick inside your head afterwards.

Except Pac-Man.

Jason's Badges

Intel Hollywood Star Program (July 2012 - December 2012)
Total Actions:
Find us on:                     
Help | About | Jobs | Critics Submission | Press | API | Licensing | Mobile