I remember back a long time ago, I was sitting in my bedroom, and I was crying. Crying my eyes out. A girl I'd been dating, Jean, had broken up with me, and as youngsters are want to do I took it as my entire world collapsing. When you're a kid, every event in your life is monumental since you have very little else to compare it to, and so when I had my little heart broken I thought it would end me. My mother heard me, with her Super Mom Ears, and she came in to see what was wrong. I told her about it, my words stumbling out inbetween sobs and hiccups, and at the end of it I said, "I wish I'd never met her!"
Now, moms are pretty smart people on the whole. The older you get, the smarter your parents seem to become. She understood how I felt, and she knew what my intentions were with that statement, but she also knew that for me to move on and grow and mature I needed to see beyond that. So she said to me, and I'll never forget this, "Justin, sometimes our greatest joys can come from some of our most bitter pain." I remember that I shrugged at her remark, but she wouldn't let it go. She said, "The last girl you dated, Shelley, you loved her too, right?" I said that yes, of course I did. "And when she broke with you, it hurt, right?" Duh, mom. "But when you left Shelley's house that last time, you met Jean on the walk home. And you were happy after that, right?" Yeah, up until now! "What I'm saying, Justin, is that from one painful and unhappy moment a good one came, and so while it's natural to wish away those things that have hurt us, you might also be wishing away those things that can heal us and make our lives better."
That's been a lesson I've always taken with me. Whenever I look back on my life and I remember those things that hurt me, those things that perhaps made me cry or feel defeated, I keep in mind that those are just a part of who I am, and some good came from them, even if I couldn't see it then. We are the sum total of our experiences, good, bad, and ugly. As much as we cherish those things that make our memories pretty, we should also appreciate the scars, the wounds, the nicks and scrapes.
And that is what [b]Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind[/b] is all about. If we try to destroy those memories that pain us, if we try to rid ourselves of regrets and bad choices and all those moments both big and little that we don't like to think about, then we end up losing who we really are. None of us are perfect, and no life is without pain. We either accept that, we embrace it, or undo eveything that we are.
An amazing film, and one I know I'll watch again and again.