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7 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

Some catching up here...

For starters, my wireless is gone for some reason. Since we were having issues with the provider a week or two ago, I'm expecting it to be permanently gone this time. This means, naturally, that I'm stuck using the dial-up. Which also means that I will be spending less time browsing the forums both in part due to the ridiculous load times for avatars and because I don't wish to be greedy - VC still uses it for her connection.

So, I will be spending a great deal more time getting up to speed on the huge back catalog of games and movies I've been amassing in the last few months. Also, as I lost my Dex Drive saves some time ago, I've made it my personal mission to get all my PS1 games back to the original save states they had before the crash. As you can tell by the scores above, this has been Final Fantasy 5-9's turn. The score for FF Anthology is based entirely on the still classic FF6, and not the ho-hum FF5, FF7 is still, despite the insistance of RT's irritating rating scale, an extremely average game, which is why it warrants a 7 at best. FF9 is just warm and fuzzy, and I believe I'm near the end (finally) which will make this the first new FF I've finished since I beat FF7 in late 1997. I won't comment on FF8 until I finish the rest, since I'm attempting the uber-hard "no level" playthrough.

Also up was Tomb Raider: Legend on the good ol' Xbox. I like it. Not as much as the first two TR games, but it's still good enough to become the third best in the franchise.

I'll be using this decreased posting time to do a LOT more journal entries. So get comfy. I've got some stuff up my sleeve just waiting to sicken us.

Final Fantasy VII - Advent Children

Final Fantasy VII - Advent Children

8 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

As in completely loathe his existence kind of hate. Why? Simple - The man is a schmuck. And evil, heinous, smelly, ugly, useless, pointless, waste of space.

Not familiar with the latest object of my justified rage? Lemme get ya up to date. He is the talentless fiend that destroyed the Final Fantasy series with his insipid character designs and half-baked story that was known and adored the world over as Final Fantasy 7. Here is an example of his "art".


And here is Satan in the flesh.


I realize I won't be making any friends with this tirade (that's not my endeavor), and I also realize that art is subjective (with my own being not-so-loved), and his designs being loved by people greatly outnumbering my single self. So why did I watch Advent Children? Because I'm just as much of a schmuck. I was hoping that by bringing the story to a format better suited to storytelling than video games, the glaring weaknesses of it's plot would be taken care of. Not a chance.

In fact, if anything, the game (which I have been notoriously hard on in the past) is still better than this blatant attempt at milking the cow. Much better. The writing goes nowhere, dialogue is still forced to fit translated English, and the entire effort feels like it wouldn't have been so awkward if it had just been a traditional anime, instead of an overblown and overhyped CGI showcase squeezed ever so lovingly out just to make a buck (or 20) on sentimental fans who still can't seem to get over the entire lukewarm experience.

Ah, but Nomura is the focus of my temper. And deserving he is. Square made the heinous mistake of letting the previous Final Fantasy artist, Yoshitaka Amano, bop out of their numero uno money maker and let an uninspired chump take the reigns in some bizarre move that I can't comprehend.

Just imagine, if you will, the reception of a Final Fantasy 7 that didn't have amateurish and cliched characters backed by a story that didn't fall apart less than a third of the way through, with the same visual panache that was the [i]real[/i] reason that anybody that started playing RPGs with FF7 was sucked in by. He ruined my interest in Kingdom Hearts with his awful looking lead character design (well, I also have severe distaste for Haley Joel Osment, too), stained the potential of the cool idea in Parasite Eve, helped make The Bouncer as lame as it inherantly was, and he has turned the once proud and noble Final Fantasy series into the androgenously over-buckled/buttoned/zippered/asymetrical teen angst flavor of the month.

Acckkk, there I go again, ripping on his games and not the man himself. I hate him. With all my soul. And Advent Children only fuels this hatred.

Unless you are one of the trillions of die-hard Final Fantasy 7 fans in this world (and how come there are so many?), or you have a serious jones for some admittedly fantastic CGI, stay clear the hell away from this....abortion.

The post-game world of Final Fantasy 7 should have been left to the fanfics.

King Kong

King Kong

8 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

At the risk of immasculinating myself and bringing into question my movie tastes, I will admit that Peter Jackson's King Kong almost made me cry.


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Intel Hollywood Star Program (July 2012 - December 2012)
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