Big's Review of Transformers: Dark of the Moon

  • 2 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes
    Transformers: Dark of the Moon

    Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)

    NOT BAD...And in saying that I don't necessarily mean 'its good,'however, after the last installment - which is most likely the worst movie ever made - this one was nearly on par with the magic of the original. I wasn't bored out of my gourd - well, save for the 1/2 intro that stretched the teaser trailer into an unmanageable length; interwoven with Robert-Zemeck-ian (FORREST GUMP, CONTACT,) JFKennedy-cgi... we've seen this before...boring!) and the films overall length was taxing. However, considering it was yet-another predestined Michael Bay disasterpiece I must say, it was wonderful to turn at my brother for a "Nice!" after a sweet transformation in unique and new executions that were as miraculous as that first Bumblebee vs. Barricade standoff in the original. [*NOTE to the STUBBORN Critics, like myself: Sure I had major apprehension to view this inbred offspring of biomechanical-genetics in human-retardation-mutations...however, any film where a director is responsible for destroying the majority of an entire and actual city - in this instance, Chicago - the film connoisseur must alone appreciate Bay's principal photography; especially considering the long-takes which either start or end with the transformers in idle - and actual (it's not all CGI here folks,) - automobile status, ascend through periods of spectacular slow-mo and culminate seamlessly against the Chicago skyscape and backgrounds. Just imagining the storyboarding and primary shots is mindboggling. Sure there was certainly some of this in the prequels, yet not to this extent; so Kudos! to Bay & Team on this amazing feat.] And how wonderful to view these mutations and seamless transitions between principal footage and CGI without the inept vulgarity from the Transformers, limited and controlled appearances by Sam's heretofore asinine parents, the absence (almost) of pompous female-promiscuity (from Bay's latent, adrenalin and testosterone-fueled teenage-sexual-adolescence), and exemption of visuals featuring Mr. Sector 7's boxers or jockstrap. This movie is too long, but I must say that I had fun: not something experienced too often at the theater these days. One last sour note: aside from the micro-transforming parts while traveling into the depths of the moon-based Autobot - (there should be more of this micro-biomutating! I'd anticipated and hoped for it in the first, all but forgotten it in the sequel, and was like 'Finally!' in viewing the trailer: the motivating factor toward my attendance of this third installment) - the 3D is just as unnecessary as its predecessors which failed to utilize the effect; BEOWULF excluded of course...(Zemeckis!) Oh, and Coraline...and perhaps Cameron's last film - had he not infected and essentially ruined the cinema-experience ceaselessly). In other words: see it in 2D. Actually, from now on, see every film in 2D until someone (Zemeckis?) in possession of a deep-enough imagination arrives to tackle the task. My bets are on Christopher Nolan - although I can't imagine him tampering with an already tainted and ill-taken ideology, based solely on higher ticket prices.

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