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X-Men: First Class

X-Men: First Class

(2011)
3 years ago via Rotten Tomatoes

This is where all the drama in this movie is rooted: Two groups of mutants spend a lot of time holding hands and staring the other group down. After the third time this happened in the movie, I shouted "Red Rover, Red Rover!" and everyone in the theater laughed. I'm glad I wasn't the only one who saw how ludicrous the directing was. It's one thing for childhood playground games to be used as a metaphor. It's another when the characters visually act out the game for entire scenes.

A twelve year old could have written this script. It started out in an engaging fashion, but everything got very two-dimensional very fast.

Pew pew pew, explosions, raaaaawr I'm angry, training montage, I'm on your side, now I'm on the other side, come with me to the dark side, come with me to the light side, it's us versus them, are you with us or against us, raaaaaawr I'm angry, I'm telepathic yet somehow I'm completely caught off-guard by what people are thinking all the time, climactic staredown, explosions, pew pew pew...

I expected more from this movie, given the high tomato-meter. I expected something inspiring... Something new. But nobody used their artistic license on this movie. How do they express conflict? They play that stupid red rover game. All the good guys on the left. All the bad guys on the right. Then they speak in platitudes like a fifth-grade amateur debate team until one group simply walks away.

X-Men First Class: Awful plot devices ad-nauseam.

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Intel Hollywood Star Program (July 2012 - December 2012)
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