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Stryder
Gabriel Hitler 11 months ago

Chica chica dee chica vee!

About J

Hometown:
Hawaii
Celebrity Crush:
Jesse McCartney
Actor Who Would Play You:
Amber Heard

Latest Submissions

  1. Friendly Customer: You're such a nice man.
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– Quote from The Dictator 12 months ago

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– Quote from The Forsaken 12 months ago

Movies J Wants to See

J's Recent Ratings

Blue Valentine

Blue Valentine

(2010)
2 months ago via Rotten Tomatoes

I thought it was pretty good. It was shot very creatively, they were nice to watch. It really shows the reality of marriage and why 50% of them end in divorce. The film is edited just like 500 Days of Summer, but I think 500 Days did it better. When the movie was flashing back and forth I felt like I was missing some things. I dont quite understand why Gosling turned into such a douchebag. In the beginning he was a little obnoxious, but kind of adorable, and at the end he was like an alcoholic jackass. Not sure how that happened and I wish I had seen the transition from obnoxious cutie to raging drunk.

I thought all of the performances were great, but I didnt really like the characters. I liked Dean as a young boy, but not when he was older. I didnt like the wife at all. She seemed like a slutty mcbitcherson. 25 sexual partners? And then shes with Dean and Bobby at the same time and gets pregnant? What a dirty hoe. It seemed like throughout the movie Dean loved her, but she didnt love him. Actually now that I think about it she is probably the reason Dean drinks so much. Spending the rest of your life with that bitch? Godspeed....

-typed from my ipad, apologize for any errors-

Zero Dark Thirty

Zero Dark Thirty

(2012)
3 months ago via Rotten Tomatoes

I didn't like it. Sue me.
It draws out every scene for way longer than it needs to be. I found it SO boring. Between the amazing cinematography and great explosions scenes is nothing but flat characters interrogating other flat characters. The characters have no depth which made it really hard for me to get into this film. That was probably the biggest thing. I know everyone is saying "ZOMG I LOVE THIS MOVIE" but I really don't see it. It just didn't suck me into the film and I couldn't sympathize with anyone in the movie. I'm just not into it, and quite honestly I'm surprised everyone else gave it such high praise. It's really not all that great. I love the cinematography; I thought some of the shots were very creative and stunning. The acting was great too, but I don't know. It just really bored me.

Some of the scenes like the first torture/interrogation scene was sooooo overdone. Like yeah we get it you want answers, he's not talking...why YES I would absolutely LOVE to watch the same thing for 20 minutes. "TELL US WHAT YOU KNOW. YOU'RE LYING TO ME!" "NO! PLEASE" *torture torture torture interrogate interrogate interrogate* and yep still didn't find out what he knows. Let's go back tomorrow and try again.....*torture torture torture interrogate interrogate interrogate shove him in a box*. Might as well have filmed it in real time with the way all these scenes are drawn out and conversations drone on and on. Literally an entire hour could've been taken out and it wouldn't have made the slightest difference. Definitely not as good as the Hurt Locker that's for damn sure. To me Zero Dark Thirty is an average movie that is completely overrated and when I say completely I mean very fucking completely.

Uncertainty

Uncertainty

(2008)
4 months ago via Rotten Tomatoes

Typed from my ipad so sorry for any mistakes.....

This movie was boring as hell. I understand that they were trying to show how different decisions have different outcomes, but couldnt they have chosen an interesting decision? There was really no substance to this movie. The decision was to either go to the family dinner party or go to a friends party. When they went to the family party guess what happens? They find a dog and go to a family dinner party. Yeah its an actual dinner party. If real life every day happenings were interesting then people wouldnt go to the movies. I go to family dinners all the time and they bore me. Why would I want to watch someone elses boring dinner? I wouldnt! And neither would anyone else! The second scenario was going to the friends party and guess what? They get into a taxi cab, find someones phone and are promptly chased by we dont know who for a good hour. And they dont go to the party i dont think. I cant remember. Anyway if the scenarios had been interesting I think the movie wouldve been ten times better. That was just a writing failure. The first situation is too realistic it lulls you to sleep and the second situation is just as boring and is completely unrealistic. The finding of the phone could have been really cool theres so much the writer couldve done with that....so why does he just have the characters being chased and doing such boring tasks (e.g. Checking email, getting coffee, eating dinner with family, walking their dog, putting up found dog posters, fixing a computer) Yeah I kid you not all of those every day boring things are in this movie as a scene! An entire scene of getting coffee. An entire scene of walking the dog and putting up found posters. Such boring boring stuff! Theres ways to make things realistic without them actually being boring. You could cut out a good half of this movie and still understand it. That is not how you do it. Every scene should be meaningful and that is not the case with this movie let me tell you. Witty dialogue, interesting shots and more action couldve helped this movie so much. It just sucks it was so boring and pointless. At the beginning you know nothing and at the end you know nothing because nothing has happened. Even the characters were pretty two dimensional and didnt change at all. Nothing changed.

The writing might have been terrible, but the cinematography sure as hell wasnt. Every shot was beautiful the colors were great, the lines were interesting and it was just awesome. I can tell the DOP really thought about how he was going to put the shots together. The shots were so pretty. Ive seen better cinematography but I would totally hire this guy because hes really talented. The way he set up each shot was really great. In the beginning with the two characters facing each other and the bridge in the background gorgeoussssss and just in every scene after that you can tell he did his part. The cinematography really saves this movie without it, theres absolutely no point in watching it because the writing is just so terrible. But if you wanna see how a beautiful shot is supposed to look, definitely check out this movie.

WIthIN (The Cavern)

WIthIN (The Cavern)

(2005)
4 months ago via Rotten Tomatoes

If the filmmakers couldnt even properly simulate the lighting from a campfire how did they think they could pull off a movie based out of a cave? The lighting for a dark setting like that is tricky and if they cant even light subjects by a campfire they have absolutely no business taking on a challenge like this. The lighting which was supposed to represent a campfire was so inconsistent and the color temperature kept changing from yellow to dark orange. It was obvious the fire was being simulated. Absolutely awful. In one scene you could even see the film crew and equipment in the reflection of the guy's glasses. Unprofessional. Shouldve had the guy take his glasses off. Also was I the only one that noticed the tents GLOWING? Has the film crew never been camping before? Tents arent bright neon green and yellow and even if they were, one lantern couldnt make an entire tent glow. The writing was cheesy/predictable and the acting was way off. The lighting only got worse as they went into the cave. The flashlights on their helmets put a glare on pretty much every shot. They were a distraction and didnt do what they were meant to do which was to LIGHT the scene. Common sense. I only watched the first 20 minutes but I assume the movie just gets shittier from there. I typed this review from my ipad so I apologize for any spelling errors.

Prom

Prom

(2011)
4 months ago via Rotten Tomatoes

haha I didn't even watch the whole thing. I saw it on TV and thought it was Prom Night, which is an equally awful movie, but it has that hot guy that plays Snow's boyfriend which makes the entire movie watchable. But anyway...

The acting was so awful, as well as the writing. I was just watching it and it felt so awkward because no teenager would ever act like that or say any of those things ever in a million years. I only watched like the last 20-30 minutes and I was on my ipad too, so I wasn't paying much attention but this one scene was so hilariously outrageous. This girl is in her room getting ready and something flies through her window onto the floor. She looks out the window and there's a fucking little boy sitting in her tree! And he's like "I don't know how else to tell you, but I think now's a good time. I LOVE YOU." HAHAHAHHAHA omg. There wasn't a more appropriate time for him to confess his feelings to her? He had to sit up in a tree that looked about 20ft high outside her window. What sane/normal kid would do that? It's called a door and you walk up and knock on it or ring the doorbell, and after you knock -get ready for it- Someone comes to the door and let's you in! Crazy! Right? I know. Who would've thought knocking on a door would be easier than climbing a 20ft tree. But wait- It gets better!! Then he was like "I love you. If you go to the prom with that other boy, I might as well stay up in this tree forever." LMAO. Like dude you're 15, you don't know love. Get over yourself already. Go run to your mommy, have her make you a snack and you'll forget all about the nasty girl. Maybe if you weren't such a freak climbing trees like fuckin Tarzan, you would have a girlfriend. And you know what? In the end I think he is with his mom in a car HAHAHA I called it!!

This was such a Disney movie. So clean, so innocent. Where's the couples having sex for the first time in the back of their rented limo? Where's the kids dry humping each other on the dance floor and barfing on each other because they can't hold their alcohol? Where's the kids drunk driving their way home, side swiping every parked car that comes in their path? That's what prom is about. Getting into trouble and fucking shit up. Real teens. Real world. Not in this movie.

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Intel Hollywood Star Program (July 2012 - December 2012)
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