Aaron B.'s Movie Ratings - Rotten Tomatoes

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Member Since
January 2012
 

Movie Ratings and Reviews

Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1
½

Not the worst of the series, but it sure is the most tedious. Almost everything in this movie is padded out to the max anne the pacing is slower than a stoned turtle. It makes one wonder why they had to split it up into two parts to begin with. However, I was impressed with the makeup effects for Bella's pregnancy.

Dr. Seuss' The Cat in the Hat

Yep, this is what the great Seuss intended
Erection and toilet jokes for your Mom to get offended
The jokes are horrendous and the story makes me weepy
Plus, the Cat's makeup is downright creepy
If Seuss saw this, there's no way he would rave
You can practically hear him rolling in his grave

Open Season
Open Season (2006)

While cliché laden, poorly written and overly crude, even for the ten-year-olds it was directed towards, the animation is decent for an animation company's first film, the voice actors do their jobs pretty well and the pacing is where it should be.

Marmaduke
Marmaduke (2010)

How do you turn a one-panel comic strip into a movie? Simple, you don't. The jokes are awful, the CGI is laughably bad and the whole story is a cliched, phoned-in piece of nothing.

Barnyard
Barnyard (2006)
½

The king of a land gets murdered? Check. His son becomes the new leader, but doesn't want the responsibility? Check. He decides to goof and live a life of not caring or worrying? Check. Through a convenient epiphany, he realizes his destiny? Check. Final battle under a red sky? Check.

It's official. This is nothing but a blatant Lion King rip-off plain and simple, only it's made worse by gag-inducing gags, subpar animation, annoying side characters and its unnecessary filler that's only reserved for avoiding the plot. But what else would you expect from the guy who gave us such classics as "Kung Pow! Enter The Fist?"

However, David Koechner as Dag pulls off a surprisingly threatening performance and is the only quality that makes the movie worth watching.

Alpha and Omega

Not only is this movie's plot as predictable as the outcome of a toddler putting a plastic bag over his head for ten minutes, but it's also laced with 100% boredom with wooden dialogue, cardboard cutout characters, half-assed animation and voice acting so bland that the love child of Matthew Broderick and styrofoam would sound more engaging.

Rio
Rio (2011)
½

The story is nothing we haven't seen in a million other movies, but throw in a flavorful soundtrack, witty dialogue, top-notch voice acting and some beautifully vibrant animation that so effortlessly sucks you into the Brazilian atmosphere and what do you get? You get Rio, a movie that, while you can already predict the ending before it comes, takes you on such a colorful ride to the end that you'll want to book your next vacation to Rio as soon the curtain goes down.

Catwoman
Catwoman (2004)

Not the worst superhero/villain movie ever (that goes to Batman & Robin) but still, it's pretty stupid. The acting is goofy, the camera can't pick an angle and stick with it, there's MANY logic issues and the character of Catwoman is completely unrelated to the original.

Black Dynamite

It looks, sounds and is written just like a '70s blaxploitation film so much that one could confuse it for one, but once you see the hilarious over-the-topness and the brilliantly clever dialogue, then you'll find something even better. Hey, Seltzer and Friedberg, this is how you make a spoof movie.

Kill Bill: Volume 2
½

This film relies on dialogue more than it does action, which drifts away from its predecessor, but that doesn't stop Tarintino from continuing to mature as the great filmmaker he is.

Kill Bill: Volume 1
½

This is definitely one of my favorite films of all time. Great visuals, over the top action, Tarintino's (as always) memorable dialogue and fantastic direction. Such a great homage to martial arts films everywhere.

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
½

It's a little low on development on both plot and characters, but its psychotic, trippy, surreal edge saves the movie.