Billy Crystal

Billy Crystal

  • Highest Rated: 97% The Princess Bride (1987)
  • Lowest Rated: 17% Parental Guidance (2012)
  • Birthday: Mar 14, 1948
  • Birthplace: Long Beach, Long Island, New York, USA
  • The son of a jazz concert producer, Billy Crystal grew up in the company of such music legends as Billie Holiday, Pee Wee Russell, and Eddy Condon. His mind made up by age five, Crystal knew he wanted to become a performer -- not in music but in baseball or comedy. As he later explained to TV Guide, he chose comedy "because God made me short" -- though from all reports he is one of the best ball players in show business.Learning how to make people laugh by studying the works of past masters Laurel and Hardy, Ernie Kovacs, and Jonathan Winters, Crystal began making the club rounds at 16. He was sidetracked briefly by New York University's film school, where he studied to be a director under Martin Scorsese, but upon graduation it was back to comedy when Crystal formed his own troupe, 3's Company. On his own, he developed into an "observational" comic, humor based on his own experiences and the collective experiences of his audience. He came to media attention via his impression of Howard Cosell interviewing Muhammad Ali. After doing time as an opening act for such musicians as Barry Manilow, Crystal struck out for Hollywood, in hopes of finding regular work on a TV series. In 1977, he was hired to play the gay character Jodie Dallas on Soap. Though many people expected the performer to be typecast in this sort of part, he transcended the "sissy" stereotype, making the character so three-dimensional that audiences and potential employers were fully aware that there was more to Crystal's talent than what they saw in Jodie.Thanks to Soap, Crystal became and remained a headliner and, in 1978, had his first crack at movie stardom as a pregnant man in Rabbit Test. The movie was unsuccessful, but Crystal's star had not been eclipsed by the experience; he was even entrusted with a dramatic role in the 1980 TV movie Enola Gay. His career accelerating with comedy records, choice club dates, regular appearances on Saturday Night Live, and TV guest shots, Crystal had a more successful stab at the movies in such films as This is Spinal Tap (1984), The Princess Bride (1987), Throw Momma From the Train (1987), and When Harry Met Sally (1989). Riding high after a memorable emceeing stint at the Oscar ceremony, Crystal executive produced and starred in his most successful film project to date, an uproarious middle-age-angst comedy called City Slickers (1991). In 1992, he mounted his most ambitious film endeavor, Mr. Saturday Night, the bittersweet chronicle of a self-destructive comedian. The film had great potential (as indicated by the outtakes contained in its video cassette version), but the end result died at the box office. That same year, Crystal again hosted the Oscar awards, and in 1994 he repeated his earlier success with the popular sequel City Slickers 2: The Legend of Curly's Gold.Crystal added to his directing credits the following year with the romantic comedy Forget Paris. Unfortunately, the film -- which he also produced, wrote, and starred in -- was something of a flop. He subsequently focused his energies on acting, turning up in Hamlet (1996) and Deconstructing Harry (1997). In 1998 he had another producing stint with My Giant, a comedy he also starred in; like his previous producing effort, that film also proved fairly unsuccessful. However, Crystal bounced back in 1999, executive producing and starring in Analyze This. A comedy about a mob boss, Robert De Niro, seeking therapy from a psychiatrist (Crystal), it won a number of positive reviews, convincing many that the performer was back in his element.Back in the director's chair in 2001, Crystal helmed the made-for-HBO 61*. Detailing the 1961 home-run race between Roger Maris and Mickey Mantle, 61* struck a chord with baseball sentimentalists and critics alike. Scripting and starring in America's Sweethearts the same year, Crystal also began to cultivate a voice acting career that would prove extremely successful, providing the voices for characters in Monsters, Inc., How

Photos

Highest Rated Movies

Filmography

Movies

Rating

Title

Credit

Box
Office

Year

38% Untogether David 2019
No Score Yet Still Laugh-in: The Stars Celebrate Actor 2019
83% Standing Up, Falling Down Marty 2019
96% Robin Williams: Come Inside My Mind Actor 2018
No Score Yet Which Witch Screenwriter Actor Producer 2016
52% Live From New York! Actor 2015
No Score Yet Party Central Mike 2014
80% Monsters University Mike $260.4M 2013
30% Small Apartments Burt Walnut 2013
17% Parental Guidance Diane Decker $77.3M 2012
18% The Tooth Fairy Jerry $58.6M 2010
No Score Yet Trying to Get Good: The Jazz Odyssey of Jack Sheldon Actor 2008
80% Mr. Warmth: The Don Rickles Project Actor 2008
No Score Yet Saturday Night Live Lost & Found: SNL in the 80s Actor 2008
No Score Yet Comic Relief: The Greatest...and The Latest Actor 2008
No Score Yet Make 'Em Laugh: The Funny Business Of America Actor 2008
75% Cars Mike Car $244.1M 2006
No Score Yet Harry Shearer: Now You See It Actor 2006
No Score Yet Tony Bennett: An American Classic Actor 2006
88% Tell Them Who You Are Actor 2005
No Score Yet Hollywood Pinstripes Actor 2003
27% Analyze That Executive Producer Ben Sobel $32.1M 2002
No Score Yet Mike's New Car Mike 2002
67% Muhammad Ali: Through the Eyes of the World Actor 2001
96% Monsters, Inc. Mike Wazowski $34.1M 2001
32% America's Sweethearts Lee Phillips Producer Screenwriter $93.1M 2001
82% 61* Director Executive Producer 2001
No Score Yet As You Wish: The Story of 'The Princess Bride' Actor 2001
No Score Yet Goodnight Moon Actor 2001
No Score Yet Comedy Central Presents: The N.Y. Friars Club Roast of Rob Reiner Actor 2000
44% The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle Mattress salesman $0.5M 2000
No Score Yet Goodnight Moon & Other Sleepytime Tales Actor 2000
71% Get Bruce Himself 1999
70% Analyze This Executive Producer Dr. Ben Sobel 1999
19% My Giant Producer Sammy 1998
73% Deconstructing Harry Larry 1997
25% Fathers' Day Jack Lawrence 1997
No Score Yet Steve Allen's 75th Birthday Celebration Actor 1997
95% Hamlet First Gravedigger 1996
No Score Yet Caesar's Writers Actor 1996
50% Forget Paris Screenwriter Director Mickey Producer 1995
No Score Yet In Search of Dr. Seuss Actor 1994
18% City Slickers 2 - The Legend of Curly's Gold Producer Mitch Robbins Screenwriter 1994
58% Mr. Saturday Night Director Buddy Young Jr. Screenwriter Producer 1992
No Score Yet Shelley Duvall's Bedtime Stories Actor 1992
No Score Yet When It Was a Game 2 Actor 1992
88% City Slickers Executive Producer Mitch Robbins 1991
No Score Yet The Best of Dr. Seuss Actor 1989
90% When Harry Met Sally Harry 1989
No Score Yet Memories of Me Dr. Abbie Polin Abbie Producer Screenwriter 1988
62% Throw Momma from the Train Larry 1987
97% The Princess Bride Miracle Max 1987
60% Running Scared Danny Costanzo 1986
No Score Yet Billy Crystal: Midnight Train To Moscow Actor 1986
No Score Yet Big City Comedy Show Actor 1985
95% This Is Spinal Tap Morty the Mime 1984
No Score Yet Animalympics Rugs Turkell 1980
No Score Yet Enola Gay Lt. Jake Beser 1980
No Score Yet Breaking Up Is Hard to Do Danny Doyle 1979
No Score Yet Human Feelings Actor 1978
No Score Yet Rabbit Test Lionel Carpenter 1978
No Score Yet SST: Death Flight (Flight of the Maiden) Actor 1977

TV

Rating

Title

Credit

Year

No Score Yet Jimmy Kimmel Live
2003
Guest
  • 2019
  • 2017
  • 2016
  • 2015
No Score Yet The Late Late Show With James Corden
2015
Guest
  • 2019
  • 2018
  • 2016
  • 2015
No Score Yet The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
2014
Guest
  • 2019
  • 2018
  • 2017
  • 2016
  • 2015
  • 2014
No Score Yet Jay Leno's Garage
2015
Appearing
  • 2018
No Score Yet The Late Show With Stephen Colbert
2015
Guest
  • 2018
No Score Yet American Masters
2001
Voice
  • 2017
No Score Yet Real Time With Bill Maher
2003
Guest
  • 2017
  • 2015
  • 2013
No Score Yet 20/20
1978
Appearing
  • 2016
  • 2013
58% The Comedians
2015
Billy Billy Crystal Screenwriter Producer Executive Producer
  • 2015
No Score Yet Late Show With David Letterman
1993-2015
Guest
  • 2015
  • 2014
  • 2013
  • 2012
No Score Yet The View
1997
Guest
  • 2015
  • 2013
  • 2012
  • 2011
No Score Yet The Ellen DeGeneres Show
2003
Guest
  • 2014
No Score Yet Web Therapy
2011-2014
Garreth Pink
  • 2014
  • 2013
No Score Yet The Tonight Show With Jay Leno
1992-2014
Guest
  • 2014
  • 2013
  • 2004
  • 2002
  • 2001
No Score Yet The Graham Norton Show
2007
Guest
  • 2013
No Score Yet Late Night With Jimmy Fallon
2009-2014
Guest
  • 2013
  • 2012
No Score Yet Sunday Morning
2011-2018
Appearing
  • 2013
  • 2012
No Score Yet The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
1999-2015
Guest
  • 2013
  • 2011
No Score Yet CBS This Morning
2012
Guest
  • 2012
No Score Yet Inside Comedy
2012-2015
Guest
  • 2012
No Score Yet The Academy Awards
1988
  • 2012
  • 2004
  • 2000
  • 1998
  • 1997
  • 1993
  • 1992
  • 1991
  • 1990
72% American Idol
2002-2016
Appearing
  • 2008
No Score Yet The Fairly OddParents
2001
Voice
  • 2003
No Score Yet The Bernie Mac Show
2001-2006
Himself
  • 2002
94% Frasier
1993-2004
Guest
  • 1995
No Score Yet Ken Burns' Baseball
1994-2010
Voice
  • 1994
100% The Larry Sanders Show
1992-1998
  • 1992
No Score Yet Saturday Night Live
1975
Guest Performer Host
  • 1985
  • 1984
  • 1976
No Score Yet Soap
1977-1981
Jodie Dallas
  • 1981
  • 1980
  • 1979
  • 1978
  • 1977
No Score Yet All in the Family
1971-1979
Al
  • 1976
60% The Movies
2019

QUOTES FROM Billy Crystal CHARACTERS

Harry Burns
Big Ten school.
Mike
We can't just get a new team! I checked this morning it's against the rules.
James P. Sullivan "Sully"
She can't stay in here. This is the men's room.
Mike Wazowski
...That is the weirdest thing you've ever said.
Mike Wazowski
That is the weirdest thing you've ever said.
Mike
My homework ate my dog
Mike
My homework ate my dog.
Mike
Class President?"
Mike
Class president?
Mike
My pony made the Dean's List
Mike
My pony made the Dean's List.
Danny Costanzo
We're going to be tender-cop-vittles.
Danny Costanzo
I'm allergic to machine guns.
Danny Costanzo
I mean retire--quit-be a regular person.
Ray Hughes
Regular people suck.
Danny Costanzo
Maybe, but they don't get shot.
Danny Costanzo
Is this what I really want to do when I grow up?
Ray Hughes
What else is there?
Mike
Yes you can. Stop being a Sullivan and start being you!
Mike
How do I become a scarer?
Mike
(dreaming while kissing Sullivan's hand) I know you're a princess and I'm a lowly stable boy.
Mike
I know you're a princess and I'm a lowly stable boy.
Artie Decker
Don't call me grandpa, Call me Artie
Artie Decker
Don't call me grandpa, Call me Artie.
Barker
Can I call you Fartie
Barker
Can I call you Fartie?
Mike Wazowski
My hat!
James P. Sullivan "Sully"
My pig!
Mike Wazowski
I'm going to scare circles around you this year.
Mike Wazowski
I'm a collage student!
Mike Wazowski
I'm a college student!
Randy
I'm officially a college student!
Randy
I'm officially a college student!
Mike Wazowski
What can I say? The camera loves me!
James P. Sullivan "Sully"
You know, I don't think she's all that dangerous.
Mike Wazowski
Yeah, we can keep her. I've always wanted a pet.... THAT COULD KILL ME!
Mike Wazowski
Yeah, we can keep her. I've always wanted a pet that could kill me!
Jess
Marriages don't break up on account of infidelity. It's just a symptom that something else is wrong.
Harry Burns
Oh, really? Well, that symptom is fucking my wife!
Harry Burns
Why don't you tell me the story of your life?
Sally Albright
The story of my life?
Harry Burns
We've got eighteen hours to kill before we hit New York.
Sally Albright
The story of my life isn't even going to get us out of Chicago, I mean nothing's happened to me yet. That's why I'm going to New York.
Harry Burns
So something can happen to you?
Sally Albright
Yes.
Harry Burns
Like what?
Sally Albright
I can go into journalism school to become a reporter.
Harry Burns
So you can write about things that happen to other people?
Paul Vitti
You're turning me down?
Ben Sobel
When I got into family therapy, this was not the "family" I had in mind
Ben Sobel
When I got into family therapy, this was not the 'family' I had in mind.
Paul Vitti
You, with your schmucky little office in your schmucky little home, you're turning *me* down? For what, so you can go back and listen to housewives piss and moan about how nobody fucks 'em right anymore?
Artie Decker
I taught them how to shave! Show 'em your legs Boys!
Artie Decker
Ok I tell you what..Don't call me Grandpa..Call me Artie!
Artie Decker
Ok I tell you what... Don't call me Grandpa... Call me Artie!
Barker
Can I call you Fartie?
Artie Decker
I'm not going!
Diane Decker
You're going!
Artie Decker
That's what I meant!
Diane Decker
*looks at Artie when he doesn't know he has paint on his face* What's wrong with your face?
Diane Decker
[looks at Artie when he doesn't know he has paint on his face] What's wrong with your face?
Artie Decker
Oh and you're such a pleasure in the morning?!
Artie Decker
Oh and you're such a pleasure in the morning?
Artie Decker
Oh it's project Runway..Take off those shoes and i'll give you a dollar.
Artie Decker
Oh it's project Runway..Take off those shoes and I'll give you a dollar.
Barker
5
Barker
5.
Artie Decker
2:50
Artie Decker
2.50
Barker
Deal
Barker
Deal.
Artie Decker
I don't think these kids like me
Artie Decker
I don't think these kids like me.
Diane Decker
They have to know you better before they don't like you!
Artie Decker
Love is Blind and spparently so is Carlos.
Mike Wazowski
Whew! You got any deoderant I can borrow?
Mike Wazowski
Whew! You got any deodorant I can borrow?
Mike Wazowski
Whew! You got any odorant I can borrow?
James P. Sullivan "Sully"
Yeah. I've got "Smelly Garbage" and "Old Dumpster".
James P. Sullivan "Sully"
Yeah. I've got 'Smelly Garbage' and 'Old Dumpster'.
Roz
I'm watching you, Wazowski. Always watching. Always.
Mike Wazowski
Oh, she's nuts!
Mike Wazowski
Scary monsters do not have plaque!
Mike Wazowski
Roz, my tender, oozing blossom, you're looking fabulous today. Is that a new haircut? Tell me it's a new haircut. It's got to be a new haircut. New makeup? You had a lift? You had a tuck? You had something? Something has been inserted in in you that makes you look... Listen, I need a favor. Randall was working late last night out on the scare floor. I really need the key to the door he was using.
Roz
Well, isn't that nice? But guess what? You didn't turn in your paperwork last night.
Mike Wazowski
He didn't... I... no paperwork?
Roz
The office is now closed. [Closes window on Mike's hands.]
Roz
The office is now closed. [closes window on Mike's hands.]
Mike Wazowski
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Artie Decker
Tony Hawk Man, how you doin?
Diane Decker
Our grandchildren are gonna love me!
Artie Decker
What about me?
Diane Decker
That's your problem.
Mike Wazowski
You played dodgeball? I loved dodgeball! Of course, I was the ball.
Inigo Montoya
This is Buttercup's true love. If you heal him he will stop Humperdinck's wedding!
Miracle Max the Wizard
Sha! Wait wait......... I make him better, humperdinck suffers?
Miracle Max the Wizard
Sha! Wait wait... I make him better, humperdinck suffers?
Inigo Montoya
Humiliations galore!
Miracle Max the Wizard
Ha ha ha! That is a noble cause. Gimme the 65. I'm on the job!
Valerie the Wizard's Wife
Woo Hoo!
Valerie the Wizard's Wife
Woo hoo!
Mike Wazowski
Roz, your looking wonderful today is that a new haircut?
Miracle Max the Wizard
Have fun storming the castle!
Jess
Emily is terrific.
Harry Burns
Ya. Of course when I asked her where she was when Kennedy was shot she said "Ted Kennedy was shot?"
Harry Burns
Ya. Of course when I asked her where she was when Kennedy was shot she said 'Ted Kennedy was shot?'
Mitch Robbins
(Talking about Curly) He's like a saddlebag with eyes. He's a lunatic. We are going into the woods being led by a lunatic...He's behind me, isn't he?
Mitch Robbins
[talking about Curly] He's like a saddlebag with eyes. He's a lunatic. We are going into the woods being led by a lunatic...He's behind me, isn't he?
Miracle Max the Wizard
Turns out your friend here is only MOSTLY dead. See, mostly dead is still slightly alive.
Daniel Robbins
If you're going to kill me, get on with it. If not...shut the hell up..I'm on vacation
Daniel Robbins
If you're going to kill me, get on with it. If not...shut the hell up..I'm on vacation.
Mitch Robbins
If you're going to kill me, get on with it. If not...shut the hell up..I'm on vacation.
Valerie the Wizard's Wife
Think it'll work?
Miracle Max the Wizard
It'll take a miracle.
Harry Burns
Okay Fine . I Take it back .
Harry Burns
Okay Fine. I take it back.
Sally Albright
You can't take it back . It's Already out there .
Sally Albright
You can't take it back. It's Already out there.
Harry Burns
Oh Geez . Call the cops it's already out there .
Harry Burns
Oh Geez. Call the cops it's already out there.
Mike Wazowski
Go ahead, go grow up.
Roz
I'm watching you, Wazowski. Always watching. Always!
Mike Wazowski
Ohh, she's nuts.
Mike Wazowski
[Referring to Roz] Ooh, she's nuts.
Mike Wazowski
Hurry up, hurry up!
Mike Wazowski
[Referring to Randall, whom they have banished] And he's outta here!
Mike Wazowski
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
Mike Wazowski
Ta-da!
Mike Wazowski
Get up, Sulley!
Mike Wazowski
Hey, good morning, Monstropolis. It's now five after the hour of 6:00 A.M. in the big monster city. Temperature's a balmy 65 degrees - which is good news for you reptiles - and it looks like it's gonna be a perfect day to maybe, hey, just lie in bed, sleep in, or simply... WORK OUT THAT FLAB THAT'S HANGING OVER THE BED. Get up, Sulley.
Miracle Max the Wizard
He's only mostly dead. If he were all dead, there's only one thing you can do.
Inigo Montoya
And what's that?
Miracle Max the Wizard
Go through his pockets and look for loose change.
Miracle Max the Wizard
The king's stinkin' son fired me, but thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it!
Miracle Max the Wizard
Don't rush me sonny, you rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.
Valerie the Wizard's Wife
Bye bye boys.
Miracle Max the Wizard
Have fun stormin' da castel.
Valerie the Wizard's Wife
Think it'll work?
Miracle Max the Wizard
It would take a miracle.
Valerie the Wizard's Wife
Liar! Liar! Liarrrrrrrrrrrr
Valerie the Wizard's Wife
Liar! Liar! Liar!
Miracle Max the Wizard
Get back witch.
Valerie the Wizard's Wife
I'm not a witch I'm your wife. But after what you just said I'm not even sure I want to be that anymore.
Miracle Max the Wizard
Beat it or I'll call the brute squad!
Fezzik
I'm on the brute squad.
Miracle Max the Wizard
You ARE the brute squad.
Miracle Max the Wizard
The King's stinken son fired me and thank you so much for bringing up such a rotten subject. While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pore lemon juice on it. We're closed!
Larry Donner
Let me hang it up for you!
Momma
I can hang up my own goddman shirt!
Larry Donner
I know that, but I would like to hang it up for you!
Momma
Get out of my way, you black bastard!
Larry Donner
[Confused] What?
Larry Donner
[confused] What?
Momma
Who the hell are you?!
Larry Donner
I'm Owen's friend.
Momma
Owen doesn't have a friend!
Larry Donner
That's because he's shy.
Momma
No he's not! He's fat and stupid! Get out of my house! [She hits him with her cane]
Momma
No he's not! He's fat and stupid! Get out of my house! [she hits him with her cane]
Larry Donner
Are you okay, Mrs. Lift?
Momma
Beat it, chump!
Momma
Oh you saved me, Owen!
Larry Donner
Mrs. Lift, are you okay?
Momma
Beat it, chump! [She kicks him off the train]
Momma
Beat it, chump! [she kicks him off the train]
Owen Lift
Bye, Larry!
Owen Lift
Larry! You're alive!
Larry Donner
You killed her.
Momma
HOLY SHIT! [Owen and Larry get startled] What a dream I was havin'! Louis Armstrong was tryin' to kill me!
Larry Donner
Mrs. Lift?
Momma
Get away from me, you horse's ass! [She hits him in the crotch with her cane; Larry groans and collapses]
Momma
Get away from me, you horse's ass! [she hits him in the crotch with her cane; Larry groans and collapses]
Larry Donner
[To Owen] She's not a woman... she's the Terminator.
Larry Donner
[to Owen] She's not a woman... she's the Terminator.
Larry Donner
She's not a woman! She's the Terminator!
Celia
You expect me to believe that pack of lies, Mike Wazowski!?
Boo
Mike Wazowski!
Celia
*gasps*
Mike Wazowski
I love you schmooksie poo!
Mike Wazowski
Put that thing back where it came from, or so help me!
Fezzik
I'm on the brute squad.
Miracle Max the Wizard
You are the brute squad.
Morty the Mime
Mime is money
Morty the Mime
Mime is money.
James P. Sullivan "Sully"
What have I done? This could ruin the company.
Mike Wazowski
Who cares about the company? What about us? That thing is a killing machine! [points at Boo, who is babbling harmlessly] I bet it's waiting for us to fall asleep, and then - bam! Oh, we're easy prey, my friend. Easy prey! We're sitting targets!
Mike Wazowski
Who cares about the company? What about us? That thing is a killing machine! [points at Boo, who is babbling harmlessly] I bet it's waiting for us to fall asleep, and then - bam! Oh, we're easy prey, my friend. Easy prey! We're sitting targets!
James P. Sullivan "Sully"
There's something else..
James P. Sullivan "Sully"
There's something else.
Mike Wazowski
what?
Mike Wazowski
What?
James P. Sullivan "Sully"
ook lay in the ag bay..
James P. Sullivan "Sully"
Look lay in the ag bay.
Mike Wazowski
WHAT!?
James P. Sullivan "Sully"
Look in the bag..
James P. Sullivan "Sully"
Look in the bag.
Mike Wazowski
One time there was someone asking me who was most beautiful monster in the whole monstrocity, you what I said?
Celia
what did you said?
Celia
What did you said?
Mike Wazowski
I said.... SULLY!
Mike Wazowski
I said... SULLY!
Miracle Max the Wizard
There is nothing better than true love in the whole world. Except a nice MLT. Mutton, lettuce, and tomato when the mutton is nice and lean and the lettuce is nice and crisp. Ohhh you can't beat it.
Harry Burns
Tomato tomato potato potato
Harry Burns
Tomato tomato potato potato.
Calcifer (English Version)
May all your bacon burn.
Miracle Max the Wizard
Mostly dead means he's slightly alive; all dead, well there's only one thing you can do.
Miracle Max the Wizard
Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do.
Inigo Montoya
What's that?
Miracle Max the Wizard
Search his clothes for loose change, hehe.
Miracle Max the Wizard
Go through his clothes and look for loose change.
Larry Donner
Hate makes you impotent, love makes you crazy, somewhere in the middle you can survive.
Larry Donner
Hate makes you impotent, love makes you crazy. Somewhere in the middle you can survive.
Miracle Max the Wizard
Have fun storming the castle!
Valerie the Wizard's Wife
Think it'll work?
Miracle Max the Wizard
It'll take a miracle!
Miracle Max the Wizard
He is only MOSTLY dead. Not ALL dead. You can bring them back to life if they are only MOSTLY dead. Now, give me that stick...
Miracle Max the Wizard
He is only mostly dead. Not all dead. You can bring them back to life if they are only mostly dead. Now, give me that stick.
Harry Burns
It is so nice when you can sit with someone and not have to talk.
Ben Sobel
Im also now to the people who know me the best, AS THE FUCKING DOCTOR.
Ben Sobel
I'm also known to the people who know me the best as, The Fucking Doctor.
Mike Wazowski
Oh, that's great, blame it on the little guy. How original. He must've read the schedule wrong with his one eye.
Harry Burns
When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.
Miracle Max the Wizard
You rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles.
Harry Burns
But I would be proud...
Sally Albright
But I would be proud...
Harry Burns
...to partake...
Sally Albright
...to partake...
Harry Burns
...of your pecan pie.
Sally Albright
...of your pecan pie.
Mitch Robbins
Hi, Curly, kill anyone today?
Curly
Day ain't over yet.