Jay Baruchel

Hiccup	Who knows, maybe we'll finally track down another night fury... Won't that be something.
Hiccup	Who knows, maybe we'll finally track down another night fury. Won't that be something.

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Hiccup	I wish I could be that sure.
Stoick	Listen, I know what it's like to miss someone you love this time of year. but what do we do when they can't be here for the holiday? we celebrate them. and I imagine that's exactly what Toothless would want you to do.

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Hiccup	A chief protects his own! We're going back!
Tuffnut	Uhhh, with what?
Ruffnut	Uhhh, he took all the dragons.
Hiccup	Not all of them.

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Hiccup

Shut it off bud.

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Hiccup

Toothless! You're pounding big baby boo.

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Astrid	That's your mother?!
Hiccup	Now you know where I get my dramatic flair!

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Astrid	Where've you been?
Hiccup	Oh, you know, catching up with Mom.

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Hiccup	Welcome aboard, dragon rider!
Eret Son of Eret	Thanks... I think.

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Gobber	Some may suggest this was poorly conceived.
Hiccup	Then it's a good thing that I never listen!

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Hiccup

This is Berk. It's twelve days north of Hopeless and a few degrees south of Freezing to Death. It's located solidly on the Meridian of Misery. My village. In a word, sturdy. It's been here for seven generations, but every single building is new. We've got hunting, fishing, and a charming view of the sunsets. The only problems are the pests. Most places have mice or mosquitoes. We have... dragons.

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Hiccup

They're babies! They don't listen!

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Hiccup	Should I know you?
Valka	No, you were just a babe. But a mother never forgets.

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Hiccup

So... What should we name it? Itchy Armpit it is.

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Danger Barch

Oh, look, I'm Shawrelle! I'm humpin' the canvas!

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Danger Barch

Anyone can lose one fight.

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Tom Pope

I wouldn't buy that for a dollar.

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Hiccup

This is Berk. Life here is Amazing. Dragons used to be a bit of a problem, but now they've all moved in! And with Vikings on the backs of dragons, the world just got a whole lot bigger.

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Jay Baruchel

We just somehow have to prove our worthiness.

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Danny McBride	His face looks like the police sketch of a fucking rapist.
Jay Baruchel	What the fuck does that mean?

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Hiccup	What do ya think bud, you wanna gives this another shot
Hiccup	What do ya think bud, you wanna gives this another shot.
Hiccup	This is amazing
Hiccup	This is amazing.

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Doug Glatt	Pat: 69! Take the number 69 it's hilarious
Doug Glatt	69! Take the number 69. It's hilarious
Doug Glatt	69! Take the number 69. It's hilarious.
Pat	69! Take the number 69. It's hilarious.

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Danny McBride	If anyone's going to rape anybody, it's Jay.
Jay Baruchel	What the fuck?
Jonah Hill	Guys! Jay couldn't rape anyone! Jay couldn't rape a fly!

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Jay Baruchel	The power of Christ compels you!
Jonah Hill	Does it Jay?
Jonah Hill	Does it jay?
Jay Baruchel	THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELLS YOU!
Jonah Hill	Does it Jay? Do I look compelled Jay? Let me tell you, its not very compelling!
Seth Rogen	What are you just quoting the Exorcist
Jay Baruchel	Yes dude it was a fucking training manual! I'm pretty sure they did their fucking research!
Jay Baruchel	Yes dude, it was a fucking training manual! I'm pretty sure they did their fucking research!

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Jay Baruchel	Can we please discuss the elephant in the room? Man Craig is right here...yeh that's racist!
Jay Baruchel	Can we please discuss the elephant in the room? Man Craig is right here. Yeah, that's racist!

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Hiccup

Thank you for nothing you useless reptile.

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Jay Baruchel	Can we please go to fucking Carl's Jr.?
Seth Rogen	Uh...I'm on a cleanse.
Seth Rogen	Uh. I'm on a cleanse.
Jay Baruchel	So, you're not drinking, you're not smoking weed...
Jay Baruchel	So, you're not drinking, you're not smoking weed?
Seth Rogen	I'm on a cleanse, I'm not psychotic.

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Kirk Lazarus	Me? I know who I am. I'm a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude.
Kevin Sandusky	What?
Kirk Lazarus	You a dude that don't know what dude he is!
Tugg Speedman	Or are you a dude who has no idea what dude he is and claims to know what dude he is..
Tugg Speedman	Or are you a dude who has no idea what dude he is and claims to know what dude he is?

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Jay	I'm going to be there to rear your child.
Jason	You hear that, Ben? Don't let him near the kid, he wants to rear your child!

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Jay	Man, my balls are shaved, my pubes are trimmed, I'm ready to fuckin' rock this shit!
Jonah	What the fuck, man? If I go in there and see fuckin' pubes sprinkled on the toilet seat, I'm gonna fuckin' lose my mind! Last time I went to the bathroom, Jay, I took a shit and my shit looked like a fuckin' stuffed animal!

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Jay	Man, my balls are shaved, my pubes are trimmed, I'm ready to fuckin' rock this shit!

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Jay	Because your face looks like a vagina.

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Hiccup

I wouldn't kill him because he looked as frightened as I was. I looked at him, and I saw myself.

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Hiccup	You just gestured to all of me.
Hiccup	But you just pointed to all of me!

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Hiccup	You just pointed to all of me.
Hiccup	You just gestured to all of me.

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Astrid	[punches Hiccup] That's for scaring me.
Hiccup	Wha.. is it always going to be this way? Is... [gets a full-on kiss by Astrid] I could get used to it.

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Shiner	Is there a reason why we're in the car instead of the office?
Eric Packer	What makes you think we're in the car instead of the office?

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Hiccup	Thank you for nothing, you useless reptile
Hiccup	Thank you for nothing, you useless reptile.

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Stoick	Turns out all we needed was a little more of this.
Hiccup	You just gestured to all of me.

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Stoick	They have killed hundreds of us
Hiccup	....We have killed thousands of them

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Hiccup	Thank you, for summing that up
Hiccup	[sarcastically] Thank you for summing that up.

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Hiccup

Excuse me, barmaid! I'm afraid you brought me the wrong offspring! I ordered an extra-large boy with beefy arms, extra guts and glory on the side. This here, this is a talking fish-bone!

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Hiccup	Everything we know about them was wrong
Hiccup	Everything we know about them was wrong.

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Hiccup

Pain... love it.

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Gobber	If you ever want to get out there to fight dragons, you need to stop… this.
Hiccup	But you just pointed to all of me.

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Pat	I think my eyeballs just ejaculated!

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Hiccup

Ta-ta-dah, we're dead...

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Leon Bronstein

Fascist.

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Hiccup

Thank you for nothing, you useless reptile.

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Pat	I'll sign your dick Doug...

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Hiccup	"You just gestured to all of me!"
Hiccup	You just gestured to all of me!

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Hiccup

Everything we know about them, is wrong.

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Hiccup	Well, whatever! I wouldn't! Three hundred years, and I'm the first Viking who wouldn't kill a dragon.
Astrid	First to ride one, though...

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Gobber	Oh, nice of you to join the party! I thought you'd been carried off!
Hiccup	Who, me? Nah, come on! I'm way too... muscular for their taste! They wouldn't know what to do with all... (flexing) this!
Hiccup	Who, me? Nah, come on! I'm way too... muscular for their taste! They wouldn't know what to do with all... [flexing] this!
Gobber	Well, they need toothpicks, don't they?

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Hiccup	You-you, sir, are playing a dangerous game! Keeping this much raw... "Viking-ness" contained! There will be consequences!
Hiccup	You-you, sir, are playing a dangerous game! Keeping this much raw... 'Viking-ness' contained! There will be consequences!
Gobber	I'll take my chances.

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Hiccup	Huh...toothless. I could have sworn you had (Toothless takes fish)....teeth.
Hiccup	Huh...toothless. I could have sworn you had [Toothless takes fish] ...teeth.

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Astrid	*hits with axe*
Hiccup	Why would you do that?
Astrid	That's for tricking me. *Hits with axe again* That's for everything else.

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Hiccup

Toothless, what are you doing? We need her to LIKE us!

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Hiccup	He never listens.
Gobber	Oh yeah it runs in the family.
Hiccup	And when he does it's with this disappointed scowl like someone skimped out on the meat in his sandwich. <mocking Stoick> Excuse me, barmaid, I'm afraid you brought me the wrong offspring. I ordered an extra large boy with meaty arms, extra guts and glory on the side. This here, this is a talking fish bone.
Hiccup	And when he does it's with this disappointed scowl like someone skimped out on the meat in his sandwich. [mocking Stoick] Excuse me, barmaid, I'm afraid you brought me the wrong offspring. I ordered an extra large boy with meaty arms, extra guts and glory on the side. This here, this is a talking fish bone.
Gobber	Now you're thinking about this all wrong. It's not so much what you look like, it's what's inside that he can't stand.
Hiccup	...Thank you for summing that up.
Hiccup	Thank you for summing that up.

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Dave Stutler	How do you know my name?
Balthazar Blake	Because I can read minds!
Balthazar Blake	It's on your backpack...

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Stoick	Winter is almost here and I've got an entire village to feed!
Hiccup	Well between me and you the village could use a little less feeding.

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Windows	Lookin' for love in Alderaan places ?
Windows	You ladies looking for love in Alderaan places?

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Hiccup	hiccup you just gesterd to all of me . goober yes stop being all of you.
Hiccup	Hiccup you just gestured to all of me.

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Dave Stutler	These are old-man shoes.
Veronica	Excuse me?
Balthazar Blake	Excuse me?
Veronica	I love them... a lot.
Dave Stutler	I love them... a lot.

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Hiccup	Thanks for nothing you useless reptile.
Hiccup	Thanks for nothing, you useless reptile.

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Leon Bronstein	Dwight, are you my Stalin?
Leon Bronstein	Are you my Stalin, Dwight?

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Gobber	Nice of you to join the party, thought you'd been carried off.
Gobber	Oh, nice of you to join the party! I thought you'd been carried off!
Hiccup	Who, me? No, come on,l'm Way too muscular for their taste. They Wouldn't know What to do With all this.
Hiccup	Who, me? Nah, come on! I'm way too muscular for their taste! They wouldn't know what to do with... all this! [gesturing to himself and flexing]
Gobber	Well..!!, They need toothpicks, don't they?
Gobber	Well, they need toothpicks, don't they?

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Hiccup

You caught me, I've been making outfits! Take me back to the village.

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Stoick	This isn't a joke, Hiccup! Why can't you follow the simplest orders?
Hiccup	I can't stop myself! I see a dragon and I have to just... kill it, you know? It's who I am, Dad.
Hiccup	I can't stop myself! I see a dragon and I have to just, kill it, you know? It's who I am, Dad.

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Hiccup	"Excuse me, barmaid! I'm afraid you brought me the wrong offspring! I ordered an extra-large boy with beefy arms, extra guts and glory on the side. This here, this is a talking fish-bone!"
Hiccup	Excuse me, barmaid! I'm afraid you brought me the wrong offspring! I ordered an extra-large boy with beefy arms, extra guts and glory on the side. This here, this is a talking fish-bone!

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Hiccup

Thank you for nothing, you useless reptile.

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Hiccup

Not so fireproof on the inside, are you?

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Hiccup

Huh..toothless? I could've sworn you had...teeth.

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Hiccup

Okay! You got me, I've been making outfits!

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Hiccup

[about the dragons] Everything we know about you guys is wrong.

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Hiccup

Thank you for the breast-hat.

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Hiccup

Thank you for nothing, you useless reptile.

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Hiccup

Pain, love it.

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Hiccup

Thank you for summing that up.