Richard Dreyfuss

What if it starts up again?

He can borrow my slicker!

God likes me! He really, really likes me!

Holy shipwreck!!!!!

Constantly surrounded by beautiful girls, with a prostate the size of a vidalya onion, it was like waving candy corn in front of a diabetic.

Hi, I'm Nelson.

Thank you, gorgeous!

My name is Valentin.

I love that name.

It's a family custom

It's a family custom.

Dogs can't make their dreams come true, so people have to.

[voice imitating W. C. Fields] I don't have to take this abuse much longer!

I don't have to take this abuse much longer!

Well, this is not a boat accident! And it wasn't any propeller; and it wasn't any coral reef; and it wasn't Jack the Ripper! It was a shark.

I'm not going to waste my time arguing with a man who's lining up to be a hot lunch.

You can't fool us by agreeing with us.

Nothing pure is ever simple.

I'm talking to you boy! What's the matter? You deaf or something?

(After light on Orca goes out) He ate the light!

He ate the light!

Terrific!

Show me the way to go home... I'm tired and I wanna go to bed. I 'ad a little drink about an hour ago and it's got right to my 'ead. Wherever I may roam. By land or sea or phone. You can always hear me singin this song... show me the way to go home... bom bom bom

"Well, this is not a boat accident! And it wasn't any propeller, and it wasn't any coral reef, and it wasn't Jack the Ripper! It was a shark!"

Well, this is not a boat accident! And it wasn't any propeller, and it wasn't any coral reef, and it wasn't Jack the Ripper! It was a shark!

[just as Bob and Lily get pronounced "Man and Wife"] NO!

[just as Bob and Lily get pronounced 'Man and Wife'] NO!

[after he finds out the mental institution staff like Bob] I can't believe that I'm hearing this!

Relax, Leo.

[obviously not relaxed] I'm relaxed!

Take a vacation.

[losing it] I'M ON VACATION!

[concerned] ...Maybe you should check in here for a few days. Get a handle on things.

You think he's gone? He's not gone. That's the whole point! He's never gone! [he opens the door and there's Bob]

Is this some radical new therapy?

YOU SEE?!

[seeing Bob put his arm around Lily] DON'T TOUCH MY SISTER!

The train had knocked Ray Brower out of his Keds the same way it had knocked the life out of his body.

[referring to Chris] Although I hadn't seen him in more than ten years, I know I'll miss him forever.

We all knew what Vern meant right away. At the beginning of the school year, Vern had buried a quart jar of pennies underneath his house. He drew a treasure map so he could find them again. A week later, his mom cleaned out his room and threw away the map. Vern had been trying to find those pennies for nine months. Nine months, man. You didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Vern didn't just mean being off limits inside the junkyard, or fudging on our folks, or going on a hike up the railroad to Harlow. He meant those things, but it seems to me now it was more and that we all knew it. Everything was there and around us. We knew exactly who we were and exactly where we were going. It was grand.

It was weird to me how, then, Teddy could care so much about his father, who practically tried to kill him. And I couldn't give a shit about my old man, and he hadn't laid a hand on me since I was three And that was for eating the bleach under the sink.

What's your latitude? What's your longitude?

Hey, hey, hey! That question's personal, bud!

I happen to have a lease in my pocket. Are you gonna honor it or what?

I have a daughter in my bedroom. That tops the lease in your pocket.

What happened to your eye?

I used it to stop a fist from going through my face.

You said you've been to Bora-Bora.

Well not Bora-Bora per se.

What about the shores of Tripoli?

Did I say Tripoli? I meant the Halls of of Montezuma.

[contemplating the lump shape] This means something. This is important.

I don't understand these fractions.

What's one third of sixty?

[bewildered] That's a fraction, I don't understand them.

[using a model train as an object lesson] Alright, let's say that this boxcar is sixty feet long, OK?, and one third of it is across this switch here, alright... And now another train is coming... Now, how far do you have to move this boxcar so that the other train doesn't smash it? Quickly Brad, there are thousands of lives at stake... Brad any answer... [CRASH]

I sailed all the five seas, from the sunlit beaches of Bora-Bora, to the icy shores of Tripoli! Commander Centipede, they used to call me!

Seven.

Huh?

There are SEVEN seas, and Tripoli is in the subtropics, commander.

On Tuesday we'll eat Gill, on Wednesday we'll eat Bob. No ... no, that's going too far. More fish anyone?

[Lamenting yet another bad review of his performance in the play] Channel 5 was honest. Direct and honest: 'Richard the III stunk. And Elliot Garfield was the stinkee.'

[lamenting yet another bad review of his performance in the play] Channel 5 was honest. Direct and honest: 'Richard the III stunk. And Elliot Garfield was the stinkee.'

I play the guitar whenever I cannot sleep, and I meditate every morning, complete with chanting and burning incense, so if you have to walk around I'd appreciate a little tiptoeing. Also: I sleep in the nude. "Au buffo." Winter and summer, rain or snow, with the windows open. And because I may have to go to the potty or to the fridge in the middle of the night, and because I do not want to put on jammies which I do not own in the first place, unless you're looking for a quick thrill or your daughter an advanced education I'd keep my door closed.

I play the guitar whenever I cannot sleep, and I meditate every morning, complete with chanting and burning incense, so if you have to walk around I'd appreciate a little tiptoeing. Also: I sleep in the nude. 'Au buffo.' Winter and summer, rain or snow, with the windows open. And because I may have to go to the potty or to the fridge in the middle of the night, and because I do not want to put on jammies which I do not own in the first place, unless you're looking for a quick thrill or your daughter an advanced education I'd keep my door closed.

I thought you said you were decent.

I am decent. I also happen to be naked.

I want some peace and quiet!

I'll be quiet.

I'll be peace!

i used to hate the water.

I used to hate the water.

i cant imagine why.

I cant imagine why.

You were on the Indianapolis?

What happened?

Japanese submarine slammed two torpedoes into our side, Chief. We was comin' back from the island of Tinian to Leyte... just delivered the bomb. The Hiroshima bomb. Eleven hundred men went into the water. Vessel went down in 12 minutes. Didn't see the first shark for about a half an hour. Tiger. 13-footer. You know how you know that when you're in the water, Chief? You tell by looking from the dorsal to the tail fin. What we didn't know, was our bomb mission had been so secret, no distress signal had been sent. They didn't even list us overdue for a week. Very first light, Chief, sharks come cruisin', so we formed ourselves into tight groups. You know, it was kinda like old squares in the battle like you see in the calendar named "The Battle of Waterloo" and the idea was: shark comes to the nearest man, that man he starts poundin' and hollerin' and screamin' and sometimes the shark will go away... but sometimes he wouldn't go away. Sometimes that shark he looks right into ya. Right into your eyes. And, you know, the thing about a shark... he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be living... until he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all the poundin' and the hollerin', they all come in and they... rip you to pieces. You know by the end of that first dawn, lost a hundred men. I don't know how many sharks, maybe a thousand. I know how many men, they averaged six an hour. On Thursday morning, Chief, I bumped into a friend of mine, Herbie Robinson from Cleveland. Baseball player. Boatswain's mate. I thought he was asleep. I reached over to wake him up. He bobbed up, down in the water just like a kinda top. Upended. Well, he'd been bitten in half below the waist. Noon, the fifth day, Mr. Hooper, a Lockheed Ventura saw us. He swung in low and he saw us... he was a young pilot, a lot younger than Mr. Hooper. Anyway, he saw us and he come in low and three hours later a big fat PBY comes down and starts to pick us up. You know that was the time I was most frightened... waitin' for my turn. I'll never put on a lifejacket again. So, eleven hundred men went in the water; 316 men come out and the sharks took the rest, June the 29th, 1945. Anyway, we delivered the bomb.

YOU GOT ANY BETTER SUGGESTIONS?

I'm not going to waste my time arguing with a man who's lining up to be a hot lunch.

They're all gonna die.

This was not a boat accident!

Is anyone eating this?

Wanna Pretzel?

[In shock to the shark's abilities] Ever had one do this before?

[in shock to the shark's abilities] Ever had one do this before?

[Also in shock] No...

"The tide is with us today."(after the death of the shark and as they are paddling to shore)

The tide is with us today. [after the death of the shark and as they are paddling to shore]

"I never liked the water"

I never liked the water.

"I can't imagine why." (last line in the movie)

I can't imagine why. [last line in the movie]

Doctor, I can't come to Brisbane when I've a Great White shark problem!

I don't think either one of you are familiar with our problems!

I'm familiar with the fact that you are going to ignore this particular problem until it swims up and bites you in the ass!

Mr. Vaughan, what we are dealing with here is a perfect engine, an eating machine. It's really a miracle of evolution. All this machine does is swim and eat and make little sharks and that's all.

Vern didn't just mean being off limits inside the junkyard, or fudging on our folks, or going on a hike up the railroad to Harlow. He meant those things, but it seems to me now it was more and that we all knew it. Everything was there and around us. We knew exactly who we were and exactly where we were going. It was grand.

I'm telling you this was the most perfect, dazzling creature I've ever seen!

She's gone. Forget it.

She spoke to me, she spoke to me right through the window. I think she said I love you...That means nothing to you people?...You have no romance, no soul?...Someone wants me. Someone roaming the streets wants me...Will you turn the corner?

She spoke to me, she spoke to me right through the window. I think she said I love you. That means nothing to you people? You have no romance, no soul? Someone wants me. Someone roaming the streets wants me. Will you turn the corner?

Who are you people?

" He took my Penis!"

They took my penis.

I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?

[typing on computer] I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?

This was no boat accident.

[to the m.e. and Brody] This was no boat accident!

I guess you've noticed something a little strange with Dad. It's okay, though. I'm still Dad.

I guess you've noticed something a little strange with Dad. It's okay though. I'm still Dad.

I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?

I was 12 going on 13 the first time I saw a dead human being.

"Ke-knock, then en-ter"

"Looks like a gondola"

"Ar-dent-ly"

"Sar-din-es"

"It was a kiss of impassionate intensity. A kiss to remember their lives by"