Alex Markerson

Alex Markerson

Agrees with the Tomatometer 78% of the time.

Alex Markerson's reviews only count toward the Tomatometer when published at the following Tomatometer-approved publication(s): E! Online

Movie Reviews Only

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Rating T-Meter Title | Year Review
D 10%

The Unborn (2009)

"Writer/director David S. Goyer, whose niche as a screenwriter is in adapting comic-book tales, gets a few frightening images into the frame, but they're all one-off shocks that do nothing to build tension." ‐ E! Online
Posted Jan 9, 2009
C- 62%

Valkyrie (2008)

"The actors don't interact so much as issue pronouncements, and there's not a hint of levity to distract from the gravity of the situation." ‐ E! Online
Posted Dec 30, 2008
C+ 14%

The Spirit (2008)

"It's black-and-white with red all over, but The Spirit is as thin as the newsprint from which it springs." ‐ E! Online
Posted Dec 29, 2008
A- 72%

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (2008)

"It'll take two and a half hours of your life and still make you feel younger." ‐ E! Online
Posted Dec 24, 2008
B 79%

Gran Torino (2009)

"The supporting performances are a little uneven, but the characters come through in unexpected ways, especially a wet-behind-the-ears priest who's anything but naive." ‐ E! Online
Posted Dec 11, 2008
D 37%

Transporter 3 (2008)

"It's kinda fast, it looks cheap, it's definitely out of control." ‐ E! Online
Posted Nov 26, 2008
B+ 89%

Bolt (2008)

"Charming and frequently exciting." ‐ E! Online
Posted Nov 20, 2008
B- 65%

Quantum of Solace (2008)

"It's like Casino Royale with cheese: Daniel Craig's second outing as 007 has all the action it needs and then some, but lacks the focus of its predecessor." ‐ E! Online
Posted Nov 14, 2008
B- 78%

Role Models (2008)

"It's not often that a film with mortifying first-act problems redeems itself, but somehow Role Models manages to grow in parallel with its characters." ‐ E! Online
Posted Nov 7, 2008
C- 74%

Splinter (2008)

"The ingredients are all there: a small, virtually unknown cast, a remote location, a nasty critter -- but the seasoning is all off." ‐ E! Online
Posted Oct 30, 2008
D- 12%

Saw V (2008)

"The death of nearly every character in the franchise isn't enough to prevent the makers from grinding out another edition of Saw. Could they just finish the job?" ‐ E! Online
Posted Oct 29, 2008
D 16%

Max Payne (2008)

"Painful to watch, but it's nothing an aspirin can't fix. Might as well save yourself the headache, though." ‐ E! Online
Posted Oct 17, 2008
B- 58%

Quarantine (2008)

"Effective scares make up for some dodgy storytelling in this horror vérité about a TV crew trapped in an apartment building teeming with plague victims." ‐ E! Online
Posted Oct 10, 2008
C 59%

RocknRolla (2008)

"[Ritchie's] latest effort has the sprawling cast of characters and all the convolutions you'd expect, but none of the wit or joy necessary to distract from its shallowness." ‐ E! Online
Posted Oct 10, 2008
C+ 77%

Appaloosa (2008)

"Emotionally Appaloosa shoots blanks." ‐ E! Online
Posted Oct 3, 2008
B 43%

Blindness (2008)

"Blindness looks and feels uncomfortably real; what redeems it is its fumbling, groping quest for mercies that may not be coming." ‐ E! Online
Posted Oct 3, 2008
B- 54%

Choke (2008)

"A gleefully profane adaptation of a Chuck Palahniuk novel, Choke suffers from some uneven performances but still might have you doing spit takes in your popcorn." ‐ E! Online
Posted Sep 25, 2008
B+ 78%

Burn After Reading (2008)

"A twisted spy farce populated with characters that might as well be windup toys, Burn After Reading is nevertheless a hoot -- mostly thanks to the all-star cast." ‐ E! Online
Posted Sep 12, 2008
C 9%

Bangkok Dangerous (2008)

"[A] stylish but laborious thriller." ‐ E! Online
Posted Sep 5, 2008
C- 31%

The X-Files: I Want to Believe (The X Files 2) (2008)

"Fans of the late and lamented show may want to believe that this X marks a glorious return, but this plodding supernatural thriller wouldn't even make a top-10-episodes list." ‐ E! Online
Posted Jul 24, 2008
A 94%

The Dark Knight (2008)

"Director Christopher Nolan has crafted a Batman film of such devastating impact, it practically obliterates the memory of its predecessors -- including Nolan's own Batman Begins." ‐ E! Online
Posted Jul 17, 2008
B 85%

Hellboy II: The Golden Army (Hellboy 2) (2008)

"If you're deeply into the weird, Hellboy II is just like heaven. Even if you're not, it's not half bad." ‐ E! Online
Posted Jul 11, 2008
B 69%

The Wackness (2008)

"It's an acquired taste, more bitter than sweet, but it lingers -- a lot like smoke." ‐ E! Online
Posted Jul 3, 2008
C 41%

Hancock (2008)

"Hancock can fly; Hancock can punch; Hancock is bulletproof. Regrettably these things don't hold true for Hancock as a film, which starts promisingly enough, but ultimately gets knocked off course by a reveal of dubious dramatic value." ‐ E! Online
Posted Jul 2, 2008
B- 72%

Wanted (2008)

"An unapologetically brutish action-thriller that moves just fast enough to outrun its gaping flaws." ‐ E! Online
Posted Jun 27, 2008
C- 18%

The Happening (2008)

"Shyamalan's still trying to take the story seriously-this is, horror of horrors, a message film-but his atypically unmeasured direction is all shock and no awe." ‐ E! Online
Posted Jun 12, 2008
D 38%

You Don't Mess With the Zohan (2008)

"You Don't Mess With the Zohan is like a hellacious bad-hair day -- unkempt, unsightly and mildly embarrassing at best." ‐ E! Online
Posted Jun 5, 2008
C+ 87%

Kung Fu Panda (2008)

"Replace the cute 'widdle' animals with people and you'd have a generic undiscovered-hero story with a dull script. (Also, it would have to be called Kung Fu Fat Kid, which probably wouldn't test very well.)" ‐ E! Online
Posted Jun 5, 2008
C+ 54%

The Foot Fist Way (2006)

"This discomfiting low-budget comedy vérité can be painfully funny, but the emphasis is on the painful. This goes Way below the belt a little too long and too often." ‐ E! Online
Posted May 29, 2008
C 30%

War, Inc. (2008)

"This dog doesn't do enough wagging." ‐ E! Online
Posted May 23, 2008
B+ 94%

Iron Man (2008)

"This is a film about a guy with a superpowered suit, and in this case both the suit and the guy are golden." ‐ E! Online
Posted May 1, 2008
D- 3%

Deal (2008)

"You've got to know when to walk away from a movie like this: right away, and that's only if you can't run." ‐ E! Online
Posted Apr 25, 2008
C 14%

Deception (2008)

"Judged entirely below the belt it's almost worth watching, but from the heart on up it's just not a good enough lie to be entertaining." ‐ E! Online
Posted Apr 25, 2008
F 8%

Prom Night (2008)

"This may not be one of the worst films of all time -- that's a pretty tough list to crack. But it is definitely one of the stupidest." ‐ E! Online
Posted Apr 11, 2008
B 48%

The Ruins (2008)

"The Ruins has a quality common enough to vacations but a rarity in horror films: When it's over, you can look back and realize you've been pleasantly surprised." ‐ E! Online
Posted Apr 7, 2008
C- 36%

21 (2008)

"As an adaptation, it's a disappointment. As Hollywood fare, it's a bust." ‐ E! Online
Posted Mar 28, 2008
C- 7%

Shutter (2008)

"Running a slim 85 minutes, Shutter could easily lose two reels and still make sense." ‐ E! Online
Posted Mar 24, 2008
B- 50%

Doomsday (2008)

"Attention, apocalypse-hungry filmgoers: Doomsday may be the blue-light special you're looking for." ‐ E! Online
Posted Mar 17, 2008
C- 79%

The Bank Job (2008)

"There's no style, flash or flow to these proceedings -- the story proceeds as if by rote, a recital of events that's always a few paces behind any able-minded viewer." ‐ E! Online
Posted Mar 6, 2008
F 8%

10,000 B.C. (2008)

"Almost worth sitting through the first half for the revelatory moment when you're forced to ask yourself: Is nearly the entire cast suddenly being attacked by what look like cracked-out ostriches? Why, yes, yes they are." ‐ E! Online
Posted Mar 6, 2008
C- 16%

Jumper (2008)

"Since there's nothing popping on the screen apart from the effects, Jumper is a one-trick pony. Yes, it's a neat trick, but it's still 90 minutes of pony." ‐ E! Online
Posted Feb 14, 2008
D 22%

The Eye (2008)

"Therapy for this fright-free, superdull remake of a stylish Hong Kong horror flick is probably not covered by your HMO." ‐ E! Online
Posted Feb 4, 2008
D 4%

In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2006)

"Boll clearly still has no idea how to direct or edit a movie, but there is evidence to suggest he has at least learned how to shoot one." ‐ E! Online
Posted Jan 14, 2008
D 0%

One Missed Call (2008)

"Supernatural horror doesn't have to make sense, but when it tries it shouldn't fail -- as it does in One Missed Call, spectacularly and in thuddingly dull fashion." ‐ E! Online
Posted Jan 7, 2008
D+ 12%

Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (AVP 2) (2007)

"The result is a complete hash." ‐ E! Online
Posted Dec 26, 2007
B 37%

Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium (2007)

"As gentle and sweet as it may be, this movie's a treat, but not a treasure." ‐ E! Online
Posted Nov 16, 2007
D 36%

Southland Tales (2007)

"The plot revolves around a film-within-a-film gimmick that, like the rest of the film, comes off only half-baked." ‐ E! Online
Posted Nov 14, 2007
C+ 51%

Bee Movie (2007)

"Everybody's least favorite hive workers get an anthropomorphic makeover, courtesy of Jerry Seinfeld, in this animated flick that's got some stinging wit but a story that's strictly for the birds." ‐ E! Online
Posted Nov 2, 2007
C+ 17%

Saw IV (2007)

"The series has essentially become a shell game, entertaining for a while if you can stomach the gore, and then the credits roll and you're pretty sure you've been cheated somehow." ‐ E! Online
Posted Oct 29, 2007
C- 51%

30 Days of Night (2007)

"Eventually, the film just runs out of fresh bodies -- sadly, about 29 days after it's run out of fresh ideas." ‐ E! Online
Posted Oct 19, 2007
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