Amie Simon

Amie Simon
Tomatometer-approved critic

Movie Reviews Only

T-Meter Title | Year
89% John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum (2019) Bottom line: Parabellum is a little clunkier and a little campier than the previous two films, but it's still HELLA FUN and I will be happy watching Keanu do this until I die. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted May 15, 2019
85% Her Smell (2019) Its still feels rare and precious to see a movie that is headlined by a complex female lead and Elisabeth Moss CRUSHES the part in Her Smell as Becky Something ... - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Apr 30, 2019
57% Pet Sematary (2019) It's always tough for Directors to take on a remake, especially when the original has established itself as a campy classic. But while I'm sympathetic to the challenges Kölsch & Widmyer faced, I feel like their version of Pet Sematary just did NOT work. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Apr 5, 2019
52% The Hummingbird Project (2019) Alexander Skarsgård's performance is perfect, as usual, and I wish I could tell you that his spectacularly awkward dance down a hotel hallway was worth it - but all you really need is a GIF of that, and you're set. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 22, 2019
94% Us (2019) ... will have you on the edge of your seat, yelling at the screen, hiding behind your hands, and laughing through the entire film, even when it plunges into its completely insane third act. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 20, 2019
78% Captain Marvel (2019) There are so many great scenes here, but also an incredibly amazing moment when you see Carol Danvers throw off the last of her doubts and realize the full extent of her power and IT IS ONE OF THE BEST THINGS I'VE EVER SEEN ON SCREEN. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 11, 2019
30% The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) (2011) Without suspense, graphic gore doesn't accomplish anything except making you look like you're trying too hard. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 11, 2019
17% Cursed (2005) Cursed just makes me sad. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 11, 2019
10% My Soul to Take (2010) There are a few interesting murders, and a few not so interesting-and there's more than enough splatter, but not so much that it can cover-up the terrible acting and script. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 11, 2019
No Score Yet Saint Ange (House of Voices) (2004) ... appropriately bleak (like a horror movie should be), and atmospherically, one of the better ghost stories I've seen. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 11, 2019
No Score Yet Ching yan (The Beast Stalker) (2008) A must-see for its brilliant performances and breath-taking camera work. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 11, 2019
60% Paper Heart (2009) Funny, charming, awkward, and totally believable ... - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 11, 2019
74% Voy a Explotar (I'm Gonna Explode) (2008) Spent a little too much time focusing on the ennui, and the writing played into predictability just a bit too easily. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 11, 2019
64% The Merry Gentleman (2009) The real star of this picture is MacDonald, whose range draws you in and makes you care about what's happening. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 11, 2019
97% The Hurt Locker (2009) Portraying the effects of war both psychologically and physically, The Hurt Locker features amazingly beautiful direction and superb performances. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 11, 2019
67% ZMD: Zombies of Mass Destruction (2009) Once the extreme gore hits, the buckets of corn syrupy splatter and one liners don't stop (fans of Evil Dead and Dead Alive will be very, very happy). - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 11, 2019
No Score Yet Inju, la Bête dans l'Ombre (Inju: The Beast in the Shadow) (2008) Combining a heavy Film Noir influence and some S&M erotica, this film is fun despite its predictability with an equal number of laughs and excitement. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 11, 2019
70% Grace (2009) Director Paul Solet's slow yet solid pacing wears on the nerves effectively, and Ladd's portrayal of innocence and steadfast denial push the film from great to exceptional - with the help of some really exquisite gore. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 10, 2019
75% Cold Souls (2009) Clever and contemplative with excellent performances all around. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 10, 2019
85% 500 Days of Summer (2009) This film puts a fresh spin on romantic comedies in a few ways, and even its overly cutesy moments (a Hall & Oates dance number in the park) totally work. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 10, 2019
96% Herb & Dorothy (2008) Herb & Dorothy Vogel are my new heroes. They prove definitively that anyone can appreciate, love and buy art. Plus, it's clear they adore each other as much as they love their collection. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
37% Surrogates (2009) Somewhere in the super-boring part, they add a cliché twist to the already cliché plot, and if you give it even a tiny bit of thought, an ending you can spot within the first 15 minutes. I walked out entirely disappointed. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
73% Where the Wild Things Are (2009) This isn't just an adaptation of a beloved children's book-it's a reworking of the story that captures the essence of the thing and blows it out in a way that's both unexpected and familiar. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
44% The Box (2009) In short; it's kind of a mess. And as a whole, The Box doesn't add up to anything remotely entertaining. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
91% Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire (2009) A brutally believable story that could be happening to any girl right now, with an unknown actress who blows right off the screen and makes you feel everything she is. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
77% The Young Victoria (2009) The chemistry between Victoria and Albert is white hot, and as the young Queen, Emily Blunt commands the screen with such grace and ease that I'm surprised it took this long for her to get such a great starring role. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
70% Sherlock Holmes (2009) mostly forgettable - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
64% The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (2009) The contrast between the stark, bleak cities and the amazingly colorful, crazy acid-trip fantasy sequences was a visual treat. It definitely LOOKS fantastic. The problem is in the substance. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
18% Valentine's Day (2010) There's absolutely nothing here you haven't seen before, and some of it is downright insulting. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
46% Creation (2010) For a movie about someone as complex and important as Darwin, it's just not as interesting as it should be. I wish everyone involved had tried a little bit harder. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
27% Clash of the Titans (2010) Too much going on without any clear reason, almost no character development, HUGE plot holes, and none of the special effects were spectacular enough to make up for it. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
48% The Losers (2010) Sometimes when I say something is "f*cking ridiculous" I mean it in a good way, and sometimes I mean it in a bad way - but in the case of The Losers, well, it's kind of a mixed bag. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
15% A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) Dear makers of this thing: You guys are doing it wrong. So much so that I want to get you in a room and say, "I don't believe in you! You're not real!" until you disappear. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
88% Pranzo di Ferragosto (Mid-August Lunch) (2009) Starting out with lots of drama, but ending with lots of laughter, this film is a perfect light, uplifting story. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
43% Air Doll (Kûki ningyô) (2009) This fantastical fairy tale could be labeled a more perverse version of Mannequin, especially given its blunt sex scenes and twisted outcome. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
No Score Yet Bass Ackwards (2010) You can't help but love this guy and root for him - as a director and an actor, he does an impeccable job of blending reality with the script to make you think and to make you care. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
97% Rapt (2011) Beautifully acted and shot, it definitely had me on the edge of my seat until the end. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
82% Skeletons (2010) Packed with crisp British humor and touching moments, Skeletons may lose you a few times during some of the trippier memory sequences, but hang in there. Its charm will win you over by the end. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
47% Skateland (2011) One part Dazed & Confused, two parts John Hughes. Set in 1983, the movie's level of 80s detail is damn near perfect - from the Skateland rink to the clothes, right on down to the Musicland in the mall. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
15% Sex and the City 2 (2010) The movies have stripped out anything that makes the characters likeable have reduced them to the worst caricatures imaginable. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
75% Ride, Rise, Roar (2010) Watching those dancers move to the beat of songs I've always loved while Byrne sang and moved with them was entertaining, fascinating, and at times emotional. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
86% Le refuge (Hideaway (Le refuge)) (2010) Strikingly beautiful and surprisingly hopeful, Hideaway had me feeling like I knew the two characters personally, and I left wishing them the best. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 7, 2019
75% Splice (2010) Bottom line: Splice asks you to suspend your disbelief to the extreme, but if you can, it's a whole lot of fun. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 7, 2019
81% Cairo Time (2010) There's a definite Lost-in-Translation'y vibe to this, coupled with amazing shots of both the city and people of Cairo. Beautifully filmed and superbly acted. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 7, 2019
91% Beetle Queen Conquers Tokyo (2009) Director Jessica Orek draws us into a culture where every living creature - even the tiniest one - is equally important. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 7, 2019
No Score Yet Estigmas (Stigmata) (2010) Quietly haunting with beautifully shot dream sequences, Stigmata is a gorgeous story that will leave you thinking about it long after the last shot. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 7, 2019
77% Double Take (2009) There are times when the "plot" seems disjointed - not all of the clips run smoothly, but in the end it all works. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 7, 2019
80% The Wild Hunt (2010) This film moves a little slowly, but the ending is totally worth the wait. Make sure you watch through the credits too! - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 7, 2019
48% Monogamy (2011) Director Dana Adam Shapiro has turned out a fascinating exploration of what can happen when we make assumptions about the person we love and the relationships we're in, and how easily we can destroy ourselves in the process. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 7, 2019
88% William S. Burroughs: A Man Within (2010) After the film, I felt I had a more complete picture of a man whose legendary status as a writer and icon had made him seem almost untouchable. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 7, 2019