Amie Simon

Amie Simon
Tomatometer-approved critic

Movie Reviews Only

T-Meter Title | Year
20% The Reckoning (2021) By the time she gets helped out of her cell by the most unnecessary side character/savior of all time and finally got to her Revengenda I had pretty much lost all interest in anything that was happening because how? And why? And nope. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted May 10, 2021
83% Boys from County Hell (2020) Director Chris Baugh has crafted a great watch with some good F/X (splatter galore!) and insanely likeable characters. In addition to just being super enjoyable, BOYS had a few moments that choked me up. A strong entry into the vamps subgenre. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Apr 24, 2021
92% Lucky (2020) Brea Grant has written a clever satire about the way women have to fight every single day just to be heard, and also about the danger in "giving up" and letting bad things happen to you because "this is just how things are." - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Apr 17, 2021
90% I Am Lisa (2020) Alright, look, YES this sounds ridiculous - and it is! But, if you lean into that, you'll enjoy it. I appreciate the skillful use of practical F/X, and you know I'm always here for empowering, female-led horror. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Apr 17, 2021
97% Slaxx (2020) Elza Kephart's over-the-top comedy horror about possessed jeans that go on a killing spree is exactly what you think it is and MORE than what you're expecting. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Apr 17, 2021
90% The Stylist (2020) This film is absolutely GORGEOUS with strong acting and some really beautiful layers about female friendship, loneliness, and belonging. Overall, a stunning feature launch for Gevargizian. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 27, 2021
84% Climate of the Hunter (2020) The vintage atmosphere coupled with the fantastic performances of all three leads really pulled me into this story - and it's honestly really refreshing to see something so different in this genre. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 19, 2021
91% The Queen of Black Magic (Ratu ilmu hitam) (2019) I found the extremely uncomfortable torture and gore fascinating to watch. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 16, 2021
90% Promising Young Woman (2020) PROMISING YOUNG WOMAN is wickedly sharp and swings at the issues of consent and culpability from all sides. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Dec 21, 2020
98% Anything for Jackson (2020) I'm not big on jump scares, but this has some great ones as well as some premium splatter. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 17, 2020
79% Synchronic (2020) Another lovely entry form Benson and Moorhead - these guys always put out amazing work that leaves you thinking about it long after the credits have rolled. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 20, 2020
77% 12 Hour Shift (2020) Writer and Director Brea Grant has crafted a wickedly fun 86-minute piece of entertainment, with some genuinely wacky surprise musical and dance numbers that add to your watching enjoyment. Another great entry in the horror-comedy subgenre. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 2, 2020
77% The Curse of Audrey Earnshaw (2020) I was on the edge of my seat for the entire film and constantly thrilled by watching Audrey do her intended "thing." The world-building in EARNSHAW is perfection, the atmosphere is positively gorgeous, and the performances all feel very, very authentic. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 2, 2020
75% Spiral (2019) It wasn't hard to figure out where SPIRAL is leading - but it was still a nice surprise on many levels. A queer leading couple, super creepy atmosphere, and so many turns I wasn't sure what to expect. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 27, 2020
67% Rent-A-Pal (2020) RENT-A-PAL is a slow burn (and I mean slooooowwwwwww) - which isn't necessarily a bad thing. I would just say that if you're expecting tons of splatter, this isn't gonna be it for you. But as far as psychological thrillers go, Rent-A-Pal delivers. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 13, 2020
90% The Block Island Sound (2020) A disquieting little indie horror film that does an amazing job of drawing you into its story; so much so that I'm still thinking of it days after viewing. The paranoia slowly builds to an explosive conclusion ... - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 2, 2020
82% Special Actors (2019) Of all the films I've watched this year, SPECIAL ACTORS made me laugh the hardest. Ueda has once again constructed a film full of loveable characters and hilarious touches that just make it a pure joy to watch. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 23, 2020
95% The Mortuary Collection (2019) COLLECTION is a true joy to watch: a nod to classic anthologies that hit me right in my CREEPSHOW and TALES FROM THE CRYPT-loving heart. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 23, 2020
79% Hail to the Deadites (2020) What I loved the most about DEADITES was its candid discussions with the women of THE EVIL DEAD. Hearing how amazing they feel knowing their roles in these films had an impact on fans made me love them all even more. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 23, 2020
100% Morgana (2019) As a woman who's approaching 50 and is becoming more acutely aware of how women who are aging slip into invisibility and are branded as "past sexy" and not desirable, I wept with relief while watching the story of Morgana Muses. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 23, 2020
79% The Columnist (De Kuthoer) (2020) Director Ivo van Aart has crafted THE COLUMNIST as a fun, satiric look at living out your revenge fantasies - and what happens when the line between what you judge as right or wrong blurs to the point of you not being able to tell the difference. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 23, 2020
56% Random Acts of Violence (2020) Violence is like the perfect mashup of DEEP RED and THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE. Gorgeous red and green washes, surreal murder scenes, and a genuine sense of terror - it all works together to bring me everything I love about horror movies. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 23, 2020
80% Fried Barry (2020) I'm not quite sure how to describe Writer and Director Ryan Kruger's insane sci-fi comedy, other than to tell you that you just have to let yourself experience it without thinking it through too much. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 23, 2020
94% Sleep (Schlaf) (2020) SLEEP is a delirious and delicious supernatural mystery with a creepy patriarchal cult wrapper. I enjoyed every frame, and loved seeing how the whole thing unraveled. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 23, 2020
80% The Beach House (2020) Brown slowly and subtly drops clues as to what's happening from the start - and by the time Mitch and Jane resurface, the switch has flipped from uncomfortable weirdness to gnarly tentacled body horror. I legit squirmed more than once! - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Jul 6, 2020
100% Inmate #1: The Rise of Danny Trejo (2019) Inmate is a great portrait of a fascinating man. As much as I admired Trejo before, I'm all in now - and I can't wait for Machete Kills in Space! - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Jul 2, 2020
91% The Invisible Man (2020) Almost halfway through the film, I was worried that it was going in a direction that would make me hate the story - but thankfully, that wasn't the case. Whannel turns the story around with a terrifying action sequence which clarifies the arc ... - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Jun 21, 2020
57% The Hunt (2020) Unfortunately the message ends up coming across as, "Hey we're all the same! If we just came together, we would stop fighting" - a message confirmed in the special features by the filmmakers, btw - and it just doesn't work. ESPECIALLY RIGHT NOW. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Jun 21, 2020
88% Kate Nash: Underestimate the Girl (2018) Goldstein is really great at mixing all the bits and pieces together, creating a solid thread for the viewer to follow - but really what makes this film so good is Nash herself. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted May 21, 2020
99% Never Rarely Sometimes Always (2020) One of the most beautiful, real, and heartbreaking coming-of-age stories I've ever seen. A story that shows how ugly life can be, especially for women - and also illustrates how the love and support of a friend can guide you through the worst times. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Apr 3, 2020
87% Emma. (2020) While Clueless remains, in my eyes, the very best adaptation of Jane Austen's "Emma," I will say that this frothy new version is pretty goddamn delightful as well. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 28, 2020
79% Birds of Prey (And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn) (2020) I can finally forget all about Suicide Squad now that we have a proper f*cking Harley Quinn movie. Birds of Prey is a big, sparkly gem of a comic book action movie - and watching Margot Robbie inhabit Harleen Quinzel was pure and absolute joy. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 7, 2020
47% Underwater (2020) Look, this movie is INCREDIBLY DUMB. But it's dumb in some very spectacular ways, and the creature work is 100% awesome. I had an enjoyable time watching, and I'll probably do it again - especially if I could somehow completely remove TJ Miller. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Jan 10, 2020
68% Bombshell (2019) While it's led by a trio of powerful female performances, I ultimately found Director Jay Roach's fourth-wall breaking take on the Fox News/Roger Ailes scandal frustrating. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Dec 17, 2019
80% Jojo Rabbit (2019) I know this world is dumpster fire of awful right now, but at least this movie made me feel light for a brief couple of hours. Waititi's excellent track record remains unblemished! - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 13, 2019
97% First Love (Hatsukoi) (2019) The film barrels into its third act in a glory of gunfire, swords, and of course, some gnarly decapitations. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 4, 2019
84% Downton Abbey (2019) This movie is the perfect end to Downton - everyone gets their moment, and all of their stories wrap up in a way that I loved. Of course I would love it if they did another one, but I'm also happy if this is the last thing we ever get. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 15, 2019
85% Villains (2019) This surprising little indie gem feels like it was made in another time, and if it didn't star Skarsgård & Monroe, I'd swear it was straight outta 1995. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 15, 2019
90% Riot Girls (2019) Riot Girls is a super fun, nostalgically bloody ride - I was rooting for Scratch and Nat the entire time, and thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it. It was such a goddamn joy watching these two women be fearless fucking bad-asses. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 12, 2019
62% It Chapter Two (2019) The whole thing is an overlong, jumbled, unenjoyable mess and the few flashbacks from the first movie only serve to highlight how empty this one feels. I have a new answer when someone asks me what the worst horror movie sequel is. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 5, 2019
97% Tigers Are Not Afraid (Vuelven) (2019) YES, writer and director Issa López's first venture into horror is just as good as you've been hearing. Tigers Are Not Afraid is a fantastic dark fairy tale that blends the horror of real life with the supernatural for an unforgettable watch. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 1, 2019
95% Be Natural: The Untold Story of Alice Guy-Blaché (2019) Have you ever heard of Director Alice Guy-Blaché? You probably haven't - and the reason isn't a huge surprise: THE PATRIARCHY. Thankfully Be Natural: The Untold Story of Alice Guy-Blaché, Directed by Pamela B. Green, is here to illuminate all of us. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 23, 2019
67% Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw (2019) The car chases in this thing are of course, INCREDIBLE, and I especially loved watching Brixton and his robot motorcycle slide effortlessly underneath trucks and move in ways you don't usually see vehicles - or humans - moving. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 1, 2019
85% Once Upon a Time In Hollywood (2019) Do you love Tarantino? Filmmaking? The history of Hollywood? The 60s? Cameos galore? Yes? Well then, go forth my friends, and see this. You'll probably love it. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Jul 25, 2019
83% Midsommar (2019) Ari Aster's follow-up to Hereditary is everything I want in a fucked-up, fantastical, creepy cult horror film - and also more than that (but I can't tell you what that more is without spoiling everything for you ... - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Jul 25, 2019
97% Toy Story 4 (2019) There is SO MUCH TO LOVE. Even though the core gang is pushed to the side to give Bo, Woody & Forky the main spotlight, I was absolutely thrilled with the directions the characters were taken in, and also with the new characters that were introduced. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Jun 25, 2019
79% Late Night (2019) Sometimes you just want that magical, fantastical almost-fairy tale movie that you can laugh at with a good friend. I did that with mine, and we left the film with extremely good feelings; our reverence for Emma intact. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Jun 13, 2019
80% Koko-di Koko-da (2020) A haunting and beautiful descent into maddening, never-ending grief. Not for the faint of heart, and definitely a film you'll never forget seeing. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted Jun 2, 2019
No Score Yet House of Sweat and Tears (Casa de sudor y lágrimas) (2018) This atmospheric horror film isn't filled with blood and gore, but it did produce an uncomfortable feeling of dread as I watched the minutes unspool. - I Love Splatter EDIT
Read More | Posted Jun 1, 2019
42% Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019) I spent the entirety of King of the Monsters experiencing ASMR whenever Godzilla's signature RAWR was emitted, kicking my feet in excitement, and clapping while cackling maniacally whenever my fave monsters showed up. - Three Imaginary Girls EDIT
Read More | Posted May 30, 2019