Brandon Judell

Brandon Judell
Writing is one-tenth perspiration and nine-tenths masturbation. (Gary Oldman as Joe Orton in Prick Up Your Ears)

Agrees with the Tomatometer 78% of the time.

Brandon Judell's reviews (from any publication) always count toward the Tomatometer because this critic is a Tomatometer-approved critic.

Movie Reviews Only

‹ |
Rating T-Meter Title | Year Review
No Score Yet

Friends Effing Friends Effing Friends (2016)

"The whole shebang is sophomoric with little wit, bland-in-the-extreme casting, haphazard direction, annoying editing, and vomitatious writing. " ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Oct 19, 2016
No Score Yet

El Ganzo (2016)

"In the hands of Balderson, his cinematographer Daniel G. Stephens, and his two actors, the result is a highly substantial and satisfying meditation on need and survival." ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Sep 6, 2016

My Beautiful Laundrette (1985)

"Besides being revelatory in its depiction of a gay relationship, its respectful, yet unfawning, look at immigrants trying to make it in a new country is straight out of the headlines." ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Aug 17, 2016

Florence Foster Jenkins (2016)

"The film is a comedy with harrowing undertones. Frears and his screenwriter Nicholas Martin want us to laugh at Florence, yet adore her and support her antics. " ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Aug 17, 2016

Simon Killer (2013)

"Corbet is a major new talent, whose future promise seems without boundaries" ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Aug 12, 2016

The Childhood of a Leader (2016)

"Here's an auteur willing to go over the edge to depict the dark side of his fellow mortals." ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Aug 12, 2016

Jason Bourne (2016)

"We have seen all this accomplished with more heart in the previous Bourne efforts and in the Road Runner cartoons." ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Jul 29, 2016
No Score Yet

La répétition (Replay) (2001)

"The garish, self-hating-lesbian-themed flick, La Répétition, is a garish enjoyment, sort of like dreaming k.d. lang is romancing you, only to wake up to discover your dachshund is where he shouldn't be." ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Jul 18, 2016

Summertime (La Belle Saison) (2016)

"Might just be the 'Carol' and 'Blue is the Warmest Color' of 2016. The leads are enthralling, and the way the semi-rocky romance is handled makes this a perfect Sapphic date film." ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Jul 18, 2016

The Fundamentals of Caring (2016)

"Rudd, a great stabilizer of even low-rated Rotten-Tomato-ed comedies, is a star whose immeasurable talents need more challenges, and here is a nice change of pace. A dramedy with a little soul. " ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Jun 30, 2016

The BFG (2016)

"Without Roald Dahl's underlying message that we, "human beans," are more grotesque and less moral than the Brobdingnagian ogres, it feels there is less here than meets the eye, but what meets the eye is often so sumptuous, you just might not care. " ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Jun 30, 2016
2/10 54%

The Neon Demon (2016)

"Refn seems to have been treading more into David Lynch territory but was swallowed up by the quicksand of his own dullardry. More' Blue Polyester' than 'Blue Velvet.'" ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Jun 13, 2016

The Idol (Ya Tayr El Tayer) (2016)

"With just enough sentimentality, Abu-Assad chronicles Assaf's life full throttle, from childhood until his miracle win that had thousands of his fellow Palestinians rooting for him in the streets on the nights of the Arab Idol broadcast. " ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Jun 11, 2016

Croupier (2000)

" But it's Clive Owen, who was so fine as the homosexual imprisoned in a Nazi concentration camp in "Bent," who steals the show. If you need an actor who emotes thunderstorms while his flesh is as still as a spring day, look no further." ‐ indieWIRE
Posted May 26, 2016

10 Cloverfield Lane (2016)

"From the opening 'Psycho'-fueled moments to the allusions to 'Notorious' to the surprising twist of a finale, it's hard to recall a recent film that made squirming in one's seat such a pleasurable pastime. " ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Mar 11, 2016

Portrait Of A Serial Monogamist (2016)

"POSM is indeed a straightforward tale of a self-involved female Lothario that shovels out all the well-worn woman-on-woman clichés with an enervated panache. Just imagine Trainwrecked without Amy Schumer, without the sexcapades, & no riotous hahas." ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Feb 18, 2016

Rabin, the Last Day (2016)

"Politics aside, what's patently fascinating about Gitai's films is how his architectural background is reflected in how he structures his work." ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Feb 1, 2016

The 5th Wave (2016)

"As for wit, the only amusing aspect about The 5th Wave is that it ends as if there will be a sequel. That would really finish off mankind." ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Jan 22, 2016

Naz & Maalik (2016)

"Jake Magee's truly superb cinematography and Andrew Hafitz's agile editing, along with Cook and Johnson's performances . . . allow you to focus on a brave attempt to explore budding queerdom among the Muslim populace." ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Jan 19, 2016

Viva (2016)

"Héctor Medina keeps you enthralled with all the histrionic vigor and joy of someone who's survived the Punic Wars and finds there are no runs in her nylons-and that she's been loved and can still love. Call it the Healing Power of the Well-Coiffed Wig." ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Jan 11, 2016

The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (2015)

"So if you think you'd enjoy some third-rate James-Bondian comic blandness sparkled up by some enjoyable 60s outfits by Joanna Johnston, you just might have a real treat this weekend." ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Aug 14, 2015

Fantastic Four (2015)

"The film is all foreplay without an orgasm. . . . Visual effects supervisor Kevin Mack must have still been slaphappy from his work on 'Fight Club.'" ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Aug 10, 2015

Colossal Youth (Juventude Em Marcha) (2006)

"If you're not already a fan of Costa by now, joyfully mainlining on his existential aesthetic, you better sidestep this one." ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Jul 30, 2015
9/10 No Score Yet

In Vanda's Room (2001)

"Seldom has the unlit, mundane world of the penniless been so seductive" ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Jul 30, 2015
No Score Yet

Os (1997)

"What follows is a series of long and moderate takes, often wordless, which are remarkable in their passive beauty. Costa doesn't so much as direct a scene as he paints a scene. " ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Jul 30, 2015

Horse Money (2015)

"If you are in the mood for self-indulgent befuddlement, although a befuddlement with grand intentions . . . the summing up of an impoverished life and world . . . this one's for you." ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Jul 30, 2015

Trainwreck (2015)

"Beginning as a Lenny Bruce routine, Trainwreck ends up as a Harlequin Romance." ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Jul 28, 2015

Entourage (2015)

"Entourage, in the end, is an unfunny schlong-a-thon fashioned by a crude purveyor of infantile sexual impulses with a fear of formidable, astute women." ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Jun 8, 2015

Grandma (2015)

"This is a sublime, comic journey, and a superb Lily has seldom been better." ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Jun 2, 2015

The Overnight (2015)

"Might just be the best American sex comedy since Paul Mazursky's 'Bob, Carol, Ted, and Alice." Jumps from extreme silliness to unbridled outrageousness to a truth most dramas do not achieve. " ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Jun 2, 2015

The Wolfpack (2015)

" A hauntingly exuberant documentary . . . " ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Jun 2, 2015

Tomorrowland (2015)

" The plot of Brad (Ratatouille) Bird's Tomorrowland is an incomprehensible muddle. A Wachowski screenplay reimagined by William Burroughs would be easier to follow." ‐ Huffington Post
Posted May 22, 2015

The Farewell Party (2015)

"Moves about at a brisk pace with flawless acting, majestic cinematography, & a warm sensibility, while arguing Schopenhauer's point that "there is nothing in the world to which every man has a more unassailable title than to his own life and person."" ‐ Huffington Post
Posted May 14, 2015

Pitch Perfect 2 (2015)

"Although Pitch 2 is mostly painless, with several fine musical numbers, especially Snoop Dogg's Christmas duet with Anna Kendrick's Beta, the dialogue voiced between the often agreeable a cappella chorals seldom rises above the lame." ‐ Huffington Post
Posted May 14, 2015
No Score Yet

Maraviglioso Boccaccio (Wondrous Boccaccio) (2015)

"Here's a leaden affair with some lovely visuals and colorful gowns that seem just picked up from the dry cleaners. What's strange here is that the joy of Boccaccio's sagas still seep through: his high veneration of both love and sex in equal measure." ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Apr 20, 2015
9/10 86%

Cheatin' (2015)

"The visuals are consistently brilliant, Plympton's delving into human nature is unparalleled in recent animation, and the imaginative conceits that spit forth without respite are very near mind-blowing. He's a Rube Goldberg of the psyche." ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Apr 15, 2015

The Riot Club (Posh) (2015)

"The Riot Club is less a free-for-all-brawl than a somewhat grating kerfuffle. Sherfig who won us over with An Education lost her way a bit here, no doubt because Wade couldn't transform her own play into a thoroughly enticing screenplay. " ‐ CultureCatch
Posted Mar 30, 2015

Insurgent (2015)

"Insurgent is a relentlessly exasperating sci-fi film made, miraculously, with a half-baked imagination, a slaughtered wit, and insufferable direction by Robert Schwentke, the man who supplied 2013 with one its biggest flops, R.I.P.D." ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Mar 18, 2015

Tracers (2015)

"Tracers, which probably could be edited down into several fine antiperspirant commercials, isn't that ghastly because it's filled with dozens of stuntmen utilizing parkour . . And who doesn't like to see Taylor nearly break his neck every 10 seconds?" ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Mar 16, 2015
9/10 91%

Eastern Boys (2015)

"Campillo has fashioned an empathetic exploration of what it is to be an immigrant intertwined with an acutely original love story. This offering is clearly a highpoint of 2015 for any lover of challenging, yet immensely entertaining films. " ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Mar 4, 2015
10/10 89%

Mommy (2015)

"Offers up a rash of extraordinary performances, dialogue and direction as it tells a tale of a hard-living mother who loves her teenage son,who's a rather at-times charming, intermittently violent, skateboarding typhoon of a challenge to live with. " ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Feb 23, 2015

Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)

"A syrupy softcore melodrama with perhaps too much dialogue. " ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Feb 23, 2015

The Last 5 Years (2015)

"It's about the bungled and the botched who want to love, try to love, and make a hash of it all because they are human. It's a lovely film by a lovely man who once had Robin Williams woo Amanda Plummer with 'I have a hard-on the size of Florida.'" ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Feb 23, 2015

Seventh Son (2015)

"Every soulless soul is a well-worn archetype; every monster, even in 3D, is an anemic reiteration of a witless behemoth that couldn't scare the bejesus out of your virgin Aunt Tilly." ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Feb 11, 2015

Jupiter Ascending (2015)

"Since this is a Wachowski offering, the visuals are frequently stunning in an overwhelming manner, and scene after scene is quite entertaining. There is a problem, though, with the casting. " ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Feb 11, 2015

Appropriate Behavior (2015)

"If Woody Allen were a tall Iranian bisexual woman with a gawky Sandra-Bullockish beauty and an exasperating, egocentric outlook on the world, Appropriate Behavior would have been his Annie Hall." ‐ CultureCatch
Posted Jan 25, 2015
No Score Yet

Two Mothers (Zwei Mütter) (2013)

"Splendidly acted, Two Mothers is a brisk 75-minute, matter-of-fact look into the inevitable risks of complete assimilation into what was once considered a "heterosexual" lifestyle" ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Jan 1, 2015
No Score Yet

Kimyô na sâkasu (Strange Circus) (2005)

"This unforgettable Grand Guignol of an entertainment, chronicles a school principal's incestuous relationship with his twelve-year-old daughter, whom he sometimes encases in a cello case with peepholes, so she can watch him making love to her mother." ‐ CultureCatch
Posted Dec 4, 2014

Interstellar (2014)

"The plot here is not as much the problem as Matthew McConaughey's mumbling. At times it's as if he's auditioning for a dinner theater version of Brokeback Mountain." ‐ Huffington Post
Posted Nov 4, 2014

Why Don't You Play in Hell? (2014)

"The whole over-the-top on-screen affair is chaotic with loads of crosscutting that lead up to an outrageous half-hour skirmish with so much blood on the screen you can imagine you're watching a tour of a Heinz ketchup factory." ‐ CultureCatch
Posted Nov 2, 2014
‹ |