Brian Juergens

Brian Juergens
Brian Juergens's reviews (from any publication) always count toward the Tomatometer because this critic is a Tomatometer-approved critic.

Movie Reviews Only

Showing 51 - 100 of 274
Rating T-Meter Title | Year Review
8/10 96%

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2 (2011)

"That both the beloved characters and the film series itself manage to emerge victorious from the fray after over 10 years is truly something to celebrate." ‐
Posted Jul 14, 2011
7/10 68%

Horrible Bosses (2011)

"It may be 9 to 5 stripped of its feminist bite and much of its dark potential, but it's still a fun ride through the sketchier neighborhoods of the working man's mind." ‐
Posted Jul 7, 2011
8/10 79%

Non si deve profanare il sonno dei morti (Let Sleeping Corpses Lie) (Don't Open the Window) (1974)

"Scenic settings, guts, and a residual contact high from the counterculture movement converge in one of the zombie genre's most unique and enjoyable entries." ‐
Posted Jun 22, 2011
5/10 26%

Green Lantern (2011)

"Reynolds is a charismatic lead, but the filmmakers miss the mark by making all the outer space stuff seem cartoony and the story on Earth cornball and dull. " ‐
Posted Jun 16, 2011
7/10 82%

Super 8 (2011)

"If you grew up a horror nut in the Midwest, Super 8 might feel like a missing page from your childhood. And if not, well ... that train crash is still pretty mint." ‐
Posted Jun 13, 2011
8/10 90%

Bridesmaids (2011)

"A bawdy, riotous godsend for folks who wanted to like The Hangover but just couldn't bring themselves to root for such an annoying box of a**holes." ‐
Posted May 13, 2011
8/10 77%

Thor (2011)

"The effects are great, the tone is surprisingly playful, and Hemsworth pours on the charm as the most clueless hulking blonde since Dog the Bounty Hunter." ‐
Posted May 11, 2011
6/10 No Score Yet

Devil Within Her (1975)

"Stock your bar and put in your IUD, because this hilariously over-the-top Rosemary's Baby knockoff wants to get you pregnant with its ridiculous brilliance." ‐
Posted Apr 28, 2011
7/10 59%

Scream 4 (2011)

"Bright, bloody and enjoyable, and completely worth seeing when you stand back and look at what the filmmakers have done to subvert a beloved but played-out genre." ‐
Posted Apr 20, 2011
3/10 27%

Your Highness (2011)

"After the first 15 laughless minutes, I heard my hopes tinkle to the ground like the lifeless shells of so many fairies struck dead from lack of applause." ‐
Posted Apr 7, 2011
7/10 66%

Insidious (2011)

"If Polgergeist is the Disneyland Mansion of spookhouse movies, Insidious is a small-town Haunted Hayride, filled with low-fi jumps and punctuated with giggles." ‐
Posted Mar 29, 2011
5/10 23%

Sucker Punch (2011)

"Its awkwardly embedded message of female empowerment fails to overcome the fact that it is ultimately a big, dumb, loud genre mashup coming soon to a "man cave" near you." ‐
Posted Mar 24, 2011
5/10 68%

Black Death (2011)

"Sean Bean completists and fans of neck-beards will no doubt enjoy, but overall Black Death an atmospheric but ultimately unaffecting exercise in medieval misery." ‐
Posted Mar 18, 2011
6/10 10%

Red Riding Hood (2011)

"While it may be little more than a Disney princess movie with a body count, I'd take this goofy period whodunit over brooding vampires and modern teen angst any day." ‐
Posted Mar 10, 2011
8/10 80%

I Saw the Devil (2011)

"With this operatically gory serial killer epic, Ji-Woon Kim may prove once and for all that revenge is a dish best served with a side of kimchi." ‐
Posted Mar 4, 2011
7/10 No Score Yet

All About Evil (2009)

"This scrappy, campy horror comedy shows a clear affection for the cinematic tradition that fortunately doesn't supersede a clear desire to play with its entrails." ‐
Posted Feb 25, 2011
7/10 72%

We Are What We Are (2011)

"With its sly message of self-empowerment in the face of overwhelming odds, this is pretty much the Mexico City Pride float of Mexican gay cannibal movies." ‐
Posted Feb 17, 2011
5/10 59%

Kaboom (2011)

"Is it wrong to wish that Araki had taken the care to bring his audience to at least one of the multiple climaxes enjoyed by his characters?" ‐
Posted Feb 7, 2011
2/10 30%

Sanctum (2011)

"As exciting as a rainy fishing trip with your two uncles who have been bickering since adolescence and manage to ruin everyone's Christmas every single year." ‐
Posted Feb 3, 2011
5/10 20%

The Rite (2011)

"What starts out as a promisingly deadpan supernatural drama quickly devolves into The Exorcism of Charlie Rose" ‐
Posted Jan 27, 2011
6/10 No Score Yet

Le Foto di Gioia (Delirium: Photo of Gioia) (Photos of Joy) (1987)

"A typical giallo exercise in lurid misogyny, it does also affer hallucinations, incest, photo sessions, and more peach paint and lucite furniture than you can shake Miami at." ‐
Posted Jan 26, 2011
5/10 31%

Night of the Demons (2010)

"A handful of recognizable faces, fair amount of ghoulishness, and peppy can-do attitude can't match the cheese-fueled charm of the faulted-but-fun original." ‐
Posted Jan 6, 2011
7/10 88%

Blue Valentine (2010)

"The brown-bag movie of the year: Sneak in a bottle of something bitter and cheap (to match the central characters) and get smashed along with the onscreen relationship." ‐
Posted Dec 30, 2010
7/10 89%

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)

"An enthusiastically deranged family adventure gussied up in a Christmas sweater, Rare Exports is a welcome addition to the Warped Holiday Movie canon." ‐
Posted Dec 1, 2010
8/10 87%

Black Swan (2010)

"An intense study akin to the equally exhausting The Wrestler that seems determined to catch Nina (Portman, in a stunning performance) break character - or worse." ‐
Posted Nov 30, 2010
6/10 No Score Yet

Mirrors 2 (2010)

"Can I say with a straight face that this is a good movie? No. But I will say that I found this direct-to-video sequel more creative and entertaining than the original." ‐
Posted Nov 24, 2010
7/10 78%

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 1 (2010)

"Fans will enjoy the dark, brooding, gorgeous penultimate film of one of the most solid genre series ever. Casual observers will likely be confused as hell or bored silly. " ‐
Posted Nov 16, 2010
3/10 25%

Candyman: Farewell to the Flesh (1994)

"Maybe "Farewell to the Franchise" would have been a more appropriate title - this retread of the very scary original is a mildly hilarious mess." ‐
Posted Nov 3, 2010
3/10 46%

Hereafter (2010)

"A trio of thinly-drawn narratives that combine into one triply disappointing mega-"meh", it doesn't so much ask questions about the afterlife as threaten to." ‐
Posted Oct 14, 2010
1/10 15%

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

"Like many horror fans, I approached viewing the recent remake of the post-slasher classic with extremely low expectations. Not low enough, though!" ‐
Posted Oct 13, 2010
8/10 88%

Let Me In (2010)

"Both suitably reverential to the excellent Swedish original and entirely successful as a work of authentic American horror. Smart, scary, and heartbreaking." ‐
Posted Oct 1, 2010
2/10 36%

Hatchet II (2010)

"When it comes to homages to the golden age of American slashers, Hatchet II is twice the hatchet job of the original." ‐
Posted Sep 30, 2010
7/10 80%

Catfish (2010)

"They've had success marketing horror movies as documentaries lately, so why not sell a documentary as a horror film? Well ... because it's not." ‐
Posted Sep 16, 2010
9/10 81%

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)

"A frenzied 8-bit orgy of video game action, fuzzed-out rock and roll, and candyshop color. I entered the theater a man and left it a sugarbombed teenage girl. With a beard." ‐
Posted Aug 11, 2010
6/10 86%

Inception (2010)

"The good news is, I'm not going to give away any of the mind-bending twists at the center of Inception. The bad news is, that's because there aren't any." ‐
Posted Jul 16, 2010
7/10 74%

Splice (2010)

"The core strength of this gooey, schizophrenic horror satire is its ability to be simultaneously quite clever and unrepentantly trashy." ‐
Posted Jun 4, 2010
3/10 47%

MacGruber (2010)

"When your audience is laughing at soundtrack selections more often than they laugh at the dialogue or sight gags, you gotta know you messed up somewhere..." ‐
Posted May 21, 2010
6/10 49%

The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (2010)

"Misanthropes, scat queens and fans of lowbrow humor will find plenty to enjoy in this gory kink oddity, though it never lives up to the ghoulishness of its central conceit." ‐
Posted Apr 27, 2010
8/10 95%

Best Worst Movie (2010)

"I never thought I'd be able to justify having seen the insanely bad Troll 2, but this scrappy documentary about fame and failure provides a perfectly charming excuse." ‐
Posted Apr 12, 2010
2/10 28%

Clash of the Titans (2010)

"The only way that this stupid, ugly mess of a movie could be considered 3-D would be if the third dimension were dirty hair." ‐
Posted Apr 2, 2010
9/10 92%

White Dog (1982)

"A misunderstood masterpiece - not just a poignant movie about racism, but also a stellar example of how genre film can be effectively used to address a society's ills." ‐
Posted Mar 26, 2010
4/10 22%

Repo Men (2010)

"A wonderfully gory climax almost makes the overacted, underplotted prelude worth sitting through, but in the end you'll want to repo your two hours and twelve bucks." ‐
Posted Mar 17, 2010
6/10 71%

The Crazies (2010)

"Though the final act plays out like some kind of Blue Collar Comedy Massacre, this updating of Romero's 1973 biohazard paranoia flick is a fairly solid genre outing." ‐
Posted Mar 6, 2010
6/10 34%

The Wolfman (2010)

"Equal parts gorefest and borefest, The Wolfman is not the unmitigated disaster that many were expecting %u2026 or even, let's admit it, hoping for." ‐
Posted Feb 11, 2010
6/10 No Score Yet

The House on Skull Mountain (1974)

"While it may have been spurred by the blaxploitation craze, the sensibilities of this odd gothic horror movie owe more to Black Sabbath than to Blackula." ‐
Posted Feb 4, 2010
7/10 No Score Yet

Faceless (Los Depredadores de la Noche) (Les Prédateurs de la Nuit) (1989)

"An insanely sleazy Eurotrash remake of Eyes Without a Face that was quite possibly conceived and produced by a can of hairspray and a kilo of primo cocaine." ‐
Posted Jan 25, 2010
4/10 67%

Daybreakers (2010)

"Robs the vampire of its supernatural bite ... All the blue filters and retro hairstyles in the world couldn't save what, for me, was a pretty lifeless bloodsucker flick." ‐
Posted Jan 8, 2010
5/10 31%

The Lovely Bones (2009)

"Despite good performances and slick design, its confused perspective leaves Bones as emotionally engaging as a visit to a particularly well-maintained kitsch shop." ‐
Posted Dec 11, 2009
9/10 91%

Up in the Air (2009)

"By looking the displaced worker in the face the film handles a painful and timely subject with considerable grace ... nothing less than a requiem for the American dream." ‐
Posted Dec 9, 2009
2/10 19%

The Fourth Kind (2009)

"In short, The Fourth Kind pisses on your leg, tells you it's raining, and then tries to sell you a raincoat made of dog hair and corn chips." ‐
Posted Nov 5, 2009
Showing 51 - 100 of 274