Eli Glasner

Eli Glasner
Tomatometer-approved critic

Movie Reviews Only

T-Meter Title | Year
2.5/5 22% The Kitchen (2019) Not only does the Kitchen romanticize the good old days when paying mobsters used to mean something, but it makes McCarthy and her friends' rise to power it all too easy. - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 6, 2019
3.5/5 88% Ready or Not (2019) It wouldn't work as well as it does if not for Samara Weaving as Grace. She the kind of face you look for in a scream queen, but also that unkillable spirit, which is put to the test. - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 6, 2019
4/5 88% Hustlers (2019) A film that starts like the female Magic Mike, edges closer to something like Goodfellas. - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 6, 2019
3.5/5 83% Judy (2019) When Judy sings you hear the hurt, the aches and pains she pours into every song. On stage is where Judy shines, offstage is where it stumbles. - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 6, 2019
3.5/5 69% Joker (2019) There's a moment when he crystalizes into the character, we see it coming, but it arrives with a monstrous sort of grace. - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 6, 2019
5/5 99% The Farewell (2019) But behind the forced smiles, this is a family grieving in advance. The director Lulu Wang doesn't resolve every moment but rather lets it breathe as we watch the family working through their feelings. - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 2, 2019
3.5/5 67% Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw (2019) Part of the pleasure is watching Johnson rile Statham up and then enjoying the slow swimmer. - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 2, 2019
3/5 85% Once Upon a Time In Hollywood (2019) Instead of the snap crack pop dialogue of Tarantino's best efforts, we have this shambolic, rambling tale, with a run time of 2 hours and 45 minutes. - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Jul 26, 2019
3.5/5 63% Child's Play (2019) Sure there are disposable roles, like the creepy janitor and Mom's jerk of a boyfriend. But without them, how would Chuckie learn? And really the biggest upgrade is Chuckie himself ...voiced by everyone's favourite space farm boy, Mark Hamill - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Jul 24, 2019
3.5/5 90% Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019) Spider-Man: Far From Home feels like super hero movie on autopilot. - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Jul 24, 2019
2.5/5 53% The Lion King (2019) One minute you're looking at an image that looks like it ripped out of National Geographic, then...it TALKS and it seems like Hammy Hampster - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Jul 24, 2019
4.5/5 94% Avengers: Endgame (2019) In the end, the focus is on the heart of the team that started it all. Tears will be shed. I may have felt something welling up myself. - CBC News EDIT
Read More | Posted Apr 24, 2019
2/5 47% Dumbo (2019) It's like one of those Disney theme park automatons - a lifelike simulation that's hollow inside. - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 30, 2019
3.5/5 78% Captain Marvel (2019) Besides fighting the Skrull conspiracy, she's also fighting a convoluted script. The writers do Captain Marvel no favours by tossing her origin story in the identity crisis movie blender. - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 30, 2019
5/5 99% Apollo 11 (2019) It's a time capsule of an era when a country reached for greatness bigger than borders. - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 30, 2019
3/5 70% Isn't It Romantic (2019) There's some nice self-awareness about this woman trapped in the mushy movie love land. But in the end, Isn't is Romantic wants to have its heart-shaped cake and eat it too. - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 30, 2019
3/5 70% Cold Pursuit (2019) like Fargo meets Pulp Fiction, nowhere near as good as either but at least it has ambition - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 30, 2019
3.5/5 44% What Men Want (2019) What Men Want is refreshingly frank about the workplace dynamics Sure the end has a predictable rom-com twist and some momentum issues. But great tunes and great scenes make this the Girls Trip of 2019 - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 30, 2019
3/5 60% Alita: Battle Angel (2019) If you're 10 years old and this is your first movie, you'll love it. For the rest of us who like some ambiguity and subtext in our storytelling, this is one battle not worth waging. - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 30, 2019
3/5 65% Aquaman (2018) Like much of the movie, it doesn't really make sense but you just go with the flow and enjoy the ride. - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 3, 2019
4/5 79% Mary Poppins Returns (2018) The sense of whimsy and creativity that Mary Poppins unleashes on London is the sequel's greatest asset. - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 3, 2019
2.5/5 41% The Upside (2019) This is a movie filled with a painfully obvious story and manufactured mawkish moments. It's doesn't just pluck our heartstrings, it thrashes a power cord - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 3, 2019
4/5 93% Stan & Ollie (2019) It's sweet and bittersweet. It's about two friends stuck together, who are better together then they are apart. - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 3, 2019
2.5/5 37% Glass (2019) Shyamalan is going to do what he always does, erecting the scaffolding of the story around one tenuous idea until it comes crashing down because of the...THE TWIST. - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 3, 2019
2.5/5 20% Serenity (2019) the story needs a better foundation than the waterlogged half-baked clichés that pass for character - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 3, 2019
2.5/5 22% Miss Bala (2019) what makes this adaptation fascinating is how it erases what made the original stand out - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 3, 2019
5/5 96% Roma (2018) Roma isn't just a film, it's a tidal wave of empathy with an undeniable sense of momentum, worth watching on the biggest screen you can find. - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Dec 15, 2018
1/5 27% Mortal Engines (2018) ...then we're introduced to the most fearsome mechanism of all, the groaning monstrosity known as The Script - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Dec 15, 2018
4.5/5 97% Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018) Thanks to a manic pop-art animation style, this is a version of Spider-man that both honours his comic-books origins while giving us a hero for today. - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Dec 15, 2018
3/5 53% Maleficent (2014) Though promising the audience an alternative tale of a world we thought we knew, Maleficent coddles rather than challenges us. - CBC News EDIT
Read More | Posted Dec 13, 2018
4.5/5 80% At Eternity's Gate (2018) This is a point of view experience. Often we're looking out of Van Gogh's eyes or gazing at Dafoe's face. That amazing canvas of pain, anguish, and ecstasy. - CBC Radio EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 26, 2018
4/5 88% Ralph Breaks the Internet (2018) There's an insecurity to Ralph, accentuated by the fact Vanellope doesn't need Ralph's help anymore. The way they visualize that with a massive metaphor is both brilliant and heartbreaking. - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 26, 2018
3.5/5 84% Creed II (2018) What saves it is Michael B. Jordon. Sure, the first thing you notice is the power, the arm cocked, ready to fire. But his real strength is his openness...the way he allows himself to be emotionally vulnerable. - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 26, 2018
3/5 37% Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (2018) As opposed to the Harry Potter films where the friends gain confidence and abilities as they mature, Fantastic Beasts is a world where magic is omnipresent and effortless. - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 19, 2018
5/5 91% Widows (2018) By giving Rodriguez, Davis, Debicki and Erivo characters worthy of their talents, McQueen has made one of the most vital films of the year. - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 19, 2018
2.5/5 61% Bohemian Rhapsody (2018) This is the karaoke version of Queen. All the notes are there, but not the soul. - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 2, 2018
4/5 87% Colette (2018) Collette is a woman who refused to be defined by her husband or what the world expected of women - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 2, 2018
3/5 29% Venom (2018) Imagine if Rick Moranis had an alien in his head that sounded like Freddy Krueger and you start to see where the movie is going. - CBC Radio EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 2, 2018
4/5 90% A Star Is Born (2018) A Star is Born is a musical but without the hokiness. Each performance moves the story forward, with Cooper focused on capturing authentic moments. - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 2, 2018
4.5/5 87% First Man (2018) Chazelle rarely lets us escape, We're trapped, trying to read the sky and the stars using only math and a ruler etched on a window - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 2, 2018
3.5/5 79% Halloween (2018) Curtis does a great job of playing a woman who has spent her life waiting for the worst. She's more than a badass, she's a survivor and we get a sense of the cost. - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 2, 2018
4/5 97% The Hate U Give (2018) The brilliance of the construction of the is how it forces us to see everything through Starr's eyes - CBC News Network EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 2, 2018
80% Film Stars Don't Die in Liverpool (2017) What a performance, transformational, by Bening. Oscar-worthy. - CBC News EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 10, 2018
93% The Nice Guys (2016) Gosling has never been funnier. His timing is priceless. Great stuff from Crowe. - CBC News EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 10, 2018
96% The Florida Project (2017) An exercise in empathy and exuberance. - CBC News EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 10, 2018
86% Tully (2018) I think part of the problem is Reitman. With his style, he's really stretching to make a point. What feels gritty at first turns to a movie of extremes. - CBC News EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 10, 2018
67% The Seagull (2018) It feels like at times it's attempting to condense the drama...this leads more to the soap-ish end of the spectrum. There's an elliptical quality to the storytelling that I'm not quite sure works this time around. - CBC News EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 10, 2018
38% Life of the Party (2018) It's one thing to make a cringe-worthy comedy, but it's not funny at all. I feel bad, because Melissa McCarthy doesn't have to do that... - CBC News EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 10, 2018
84% Deadpool 2 (2018) He attempts something that is kryptonite to this kind of character: sincerity...the movie is very good, but not as good as the first one. - CBC News EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 10, 2018
70% Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018) What frustrates me is that it seems the original directors were trying to build an element of unpredictability into pre-manufactured franchises. What we have is the heartwarming Han as our connection to Star Wars grows a little dimmer. - CBC News EDIT
Read More | Posted Sep 10, 2018