Gregory KirschlingMovie Reviews & Previews - Rotten Tomatoes

Gregory Kirschling

Gregory Kirschling
Gregory Kirschling's reviews only count toward the Tomatometer when published at the following Tomatometer-approved publication(s): Entertainment Weekly

Movie Reviews Only

Rating T-Meter Title | Year Review
C- 12% Saw V (2008) Saw V is dead on the table. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Oct 24, 2008
B+ 35% Pride and Glory (2008) A tightly acted and emotionally bruising corrupt-cop family drama that feels like the kind of serious, slow-burn NYPD movie nobody -- not even Lumet -- makes anymore. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Oct 22, 2008
C 73% Peur(s) du Noir (Fear(s) of the Dark) (2007) Six graphic artists contribute tales of gloom, but only one -- about a boy and his insect-infested girlfriend, drawn by distinctive American artist Charles Burns (Black Hole) -- gets under your skin. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Oct 22, 2008
B- 61% The Express (2008) Has Dennis Quaid really never played a college football coach before? With his handsome, craggy face and likable intensity, he was born for the job. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Oct 8, 2008
C 14% My Best Friend's Girl (2008) The actors (especially Alec Baldwin, as Tank's horndog dad) elevate the material slightly, but such piffle will just fill you with longing... for a better movie. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Sep 19, 2008
C- 45% Lakeview Terrace (2008) Unfortunately, Jackson is the best thing here.
 The rest of Lakeview is cravenly engineered to make Wilson's squishy liberal hero a man, and the only surprise is that Neil LaBute directed it for hire. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Sep 17, 2008
C+ 51% The Family That Preys (2008) As usual, the villains are very bad, and the good guys are very noble -- until they get mad and clock their wives. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Sep 15, 2008
B- 41% The Longshots (2008) The most surprising thing about the inspirational sports movie The Longshots is not that there isn't already an inspirational sports movie with that exact name. The big shock is that the director Fred Durst -- and he doesn't do half bad. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Aug 28, 2008
B+ 65% The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 (2008) Even cynics might concede that, again, four capable actresses have pulled off a relatively rare thing: They've convinced us they're an honest-to-God movie sisterhood. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Aug 6, 2008
C 30% Chaos Theory (2008) Chaos Theory peddles the usual carpe diem movie bunk. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Apr 24, 2008
C- 40% Dark Matter (2008) Liu Ye is too inexpressive for his role's demands, and the movie doesn't build to his downfall: It just zaps itself there. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Apr 16, 2008
C 50% Doomsday (2008) [Director] Marshall cribs whole sections from other movies (Aliens and The Road Warrior, most blatantly) so baldly that you have to wonder how he'd like it if someone ripped off The Descent this egregiously. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Mar 19, 2008
D 22% Never Back Down (2008) Movie is dopey. And with its emphasis on stupid violence, xylophone abs, and getting yourself on YouTube, it's yet another product that makes you feel bad about today's youth culture. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Mar 19, 2008
B- 27% Step Up 2 the Streets (2008) It doesn't skimp on cool pretzel moves. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Feb 13, 2008
C 24% Day Zero (2007) As the pals, Elijah Wood, Jon Bernthal, and especially Chris Klein mope around noncommittally, as if it were an upcoming trip to the in-laws' they were dreading -- not a potentially one-way ticket to a war zone. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Jan 17, 2008
B- 57% What Would Jesus Buy? (2007) If Gary Busey ever played Elmer Gantry, he'd look like Reverend Billy, the real-life fire-and-brimstone preacher who embarks ''on a mission to save Christmas from overconsumption." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Nov 28, 2007
C+ 33% Martian Child (2007) The problem with Martian Child is that it wants to be a story about outcasts, but Dennis doesn't come off as a cute little rebel. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Oct 31, 2007
F 9% The Comebacks (2007) The Comebacks is probably the worst movie that's sludged across my professional eyeballs -- worse than Daddy Day Camp, Baby Geniuses 2, and BloodRayne. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Oct 24, 2007
B- 56% Weirdsville (2007) Half-funny and half-obvious, Weirdsville gets a little tiresomely silly, but Bentley still has a glare that burns through metal, and his rapport with Speedman is agreeable. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Oct 17, 2007
C- 14% The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising (2007) A movie that should've been made shortly after its source material -- Susan Cooper's Newbery winner -- debuted in 1973. As is, it feels entirely too generic to work today. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Oct 10, 2007
B 73% I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With (2006) Garlin's the first director to really exploit the menace behind Silverman's funny-hot-chick persona; if only for a scene or two, the results cut surprisingly deep. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Sep 5, 2007
C- 54% Romance & Cigarettes (2007) With Walken around, hair up high, of course there are fleeting moments of fascinating weirdness, but even then, you're still moderately embarrassed for the cast. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Sep 5, 2007
C 81% Fong juk (Exiled) (2006) One of those wearisome Hong Kong action movies where characters engage in Mexican standoffs not so much to ratchet up excitement or generate tension but rather to look cool for as long as possible. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Aug 29, 2007
D 1% Daddy Day Camp (2007) Because he's an Oscar winner with a rep now for headlining turkeys, watching Cuba Gooding Jr. in trash like Daddy Day Camp almost hurts. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Aug 9, 2007
C- 9% Bratz: The Movie (2007) M&M-colored high school fantasia for aspirational 10- and 12-year-old girls who'll be shocked (or, hopefully, delighted) when they get to ninth grade and find out life isn't so super-Bratz-fabulous. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Aug 2, 2007
C+ 40% Hot Rod (2007) Wait until the best parts pop up on YouTube. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Aug 2, 2007
B 62% Arctic Tale (2007) It's a respectable attempt to get kids who like cuddly animals thinking about death and destruction on a global scale. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Jul 25, 2007
B 34% DOA: Dead or Alive (2007) If you only ever see one bad movie about warrior chicks who meet on a tropical isle for a fight contest, make it DOA: Dead or Alive. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Jun 20, 2007
B- 64% Day Watch (2007) If you don't take it seriously -- i.e., if you're able to laugh at the notion of a piece of chalk that undoes time -- the sequel is a minor wackjob head trip. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted May 30, 2007
C 73% Golden Door (2007) Despite a few welcome bits of whimsy, Door feels as long as a transatlantic voyage. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted May 23, 2007
D- 19% The Ex (2007) What if Zach Braff acted in one more quarter-life-crisis movie, and instead of Sundance it went straight to video? If only that's what had happened to The Ex. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted May 16, 2007
B 68% Everything's Gone Green (2007) The story -- a guy (Paulo Costanzo) who works for the lottery gets mixed up in money laundering -- is slight, but an appealing cast and lots of scenic leafery make Green feel fresh. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Apr 11, 2007
C- 38% Firehouse Dog (2007) [The dog] looks like a cross between a rat and a llama. And he burps, farts, and even poops on dinner. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Apr 5, 2007
D 8% Are We Done Yet? (2007) Atrocious. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Apr 5, 2007
C+ 11% The Hills Have Eyes 2 (2007) A retro horror-comedy featuring quick deaths and cheapo-looking gore, with a few dorky laughs and gross-outs but not so many scares. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Mar 28, 2007
C+ 34% TMNT (2007) This all-CG reboot is missing the goofy excitement of the old TMNT. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Mar 21, 2007
C 32% The Ultimate Gift (2006) The Ultimate Gift is kind of like a feel-good Saw for churchgoers, minus the sadistic games of death. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Mar 14, 2007
C+ 70% Amazing Grace (2007) It leaves the blood unstirred. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Feb 21, 2007
C+ 85% Bridge to Terabithia (2007) In Bridge to Terabithia, the two middle schoolers who stumble onto a whole new world don't seem all that wowed. And the movie ... never decides if it's a fantasy or coming-of-age story. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Feb 14, 2007
C 12% The Messengers (2007) The Asian-horror-movie moment feels long since passed, both here and abroad. Let our zombies walk or even sprint again! Give our creepy kids back their pupils! ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Feb 7, 2007
C+ 21% Arthur and the Invisibles (Arthur and the Minimoys) (2007) Luc Besson has made a fair share of artfully bad movies. Arthur and the Invisibles -- half-live-action, half-CG kid's adventure -- is (by a hair) more bad-bad, like The Fifth Element, than good-bad, like The Big Blue. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Jan 17, 2007
D 4% Code Name: The Cleaner (2007) Get Lucy Liu better roles! ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Jan 10, 2007
D- 4% Happily N'ever After (2006) The press notes boast that the total production time was only 15 months, 'unheard of for a first-class computer animated movie.' Maybe there's a reason why that's unheard-of. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Jan 3, 2007
D 14% Black Christmas (2006) It's old-school stupid. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Jan 3, 2007
C- 16% Eragon (2006) Give Eragon a few years: By then, it might be delightfully bad. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Jan 3, 2007
B- 69% The Secret Life of Words (2006) Can a single scene save a movie? An hour and 20 minutes into The Secret Life of Words, Sarah Polley delivers a halting, evocative 10-minute monologue that finally unlocks the mystery behind her guarded character. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Dec 13, 2006
C+ 31% Unaccompanied Minors (2006) Anyone old enough to go see this without a parent or guardian will have seen it all before. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Dec 6, 2006
B+ 65% Off the Black (2006) We haven't heard much from Nick Nolte since he took that wild 2002 Hawaiian-shirt mug shot. Off the Black proves he's still a great leading actor. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Dec 6, 2006
D 12% Let's Go to Prison (2006) It's hard to get laughs out of stuff that devolved into parody 10 or 20 years ago. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Nov 23, 2006
C- 16% The Return (2006) Mellow -- nay, snoozy -- atmospherics trump actual scares, and it makes almost zero sense. ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Nov 15, 2006