Gregory Kirschling

Gregory Kirschling

Agrees with the Tomatometer 77% of the time.

Gregory Kirschling's reviews only count toward the Tomatometer when published at the following Tomatometer-approved publication(s): Entertainment Weekly

Movie Reviews Only

Rating T-Meter Title | Year Review
C 15%

The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause (2006)

"This Styrofoam snowman of a sequel overdoses on its own candy-cane-colored sugary cheer." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Nov 8, 2006
C+ 65%

Wondrous Oblivion (2006)

"Wondrous Oblivion goes awry in its sloppy racial drama, and although the cricket-training montages are good, they're still training montages, and this is just that kind of overfamiliar movie." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Nov 1, 2006
C+ 20%

The Marine (2006)

"A delectably bad '80s-style actioner." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Oct 18, 2006
C- 48%

Driving Lessons (2006)

"Linney is too sensitive and capable an actress to play a stock villain like this. That everyone in the movie dislikes her makes you dislike everyone in the movie." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Oct 12, 2006
C 34%

Alex Rider: Operation Stormbreaker (2006)

"Alex Rider: Operation Stormbreaker is Agent Cody Banks played British and kinda straight -- that is, as straight as you can when your villain is played by a toothpick-chomping Mickey Rourke in purple eye shadow." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Oct 11, 2006
B- 70%

POV (2006)

"Wrestling with Angels could use some brouhaha: It's a bit too much of a pleasant air kiss from a fan, and doesn't engage inquisitively enough with Kushner's often controversial and very political ideas." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Oct 4, 2006
D 12%

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)

"The idea of a horror prequel is annoying [and] unlike Hostel or Wolf Creek, TCM:B is rank and depressing." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Oct 4, 2006
B 72%

American Hardcore (2006)

"American Hardcore is illuminating nostalgia, stuffed with all the right tattooed talking heads (like Black Flag's Henry Rollins), plus grim-looking concert footage of wailing skinny guys." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Sep 27, 2006
C+ 48%

Open Season (2006)

"The overfamiliar Open Season feels like just another CG 'toon in our 'toon-glutted times." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Sep 27, 2006
C 73%

Jet Li's Fearless (Huo Yuan Jia) (Legend of a Fighter) (2006)

"Every so often there is a hand-to-hand fight scene to cut the boredom -- the best is set atop a precipitously high wooden tower in a village square -- but even these don't set themselves apart from anything we've seen before." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Sep 22, 2006
B 63%

Jackass: Number Two (2006)

"Even if you can't stomach (or stand) what they're up to, you still have to admit that these goons execute their gags exceptionally well." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Sep 20, 2006
C- 33%

Flyboys (2006)

"This is a lost opportunity on an epic scale. The actors are so styled and the dogfights so drippy with CG that, as a period piece, the movie almost looks like it's set in the future." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Sep 20, 2006
B+ 33%

I Trust You to Kill Me (2006)

"Even when he looks like a complete dolt, Sutherland still comes off sympathetically, as a cool guy." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Sep 20, 2006
B- 41%

Everyone's Hero (2006)

"Everyone's Hero re-creates Depression-era America with surprisingly agreeable anachronistic panache." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Sep 13, 2006
B- 68%

Aurora Borealis (2006)

"The movie would be a quality guilty-gloopy pleasure if it weren't so deadly overlong." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Sep 13, 2006
D- 3%

The Covenant (2006)

"This is cobbled-together teenybopper tripe about feuding male witches with nothing to offer but classic bad dialogue." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Sep 13, 2006
C- 2%

Crossover (2006)

"Crossover skimps on court-level pyrotechnics (we get a game in the beginning and, of course, a big game at the end, and that's about it) in favor of dry urban melodrama." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Aug 30, 2006
A- 93%

Lassie (2006)

"Maybe I'm a sucker for dogs, but my eyes welled up. Twice. Woof!" ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Aug 30, 2006
B 59%

How to Eat Fried Worms (2006)

"Fried Worms' appeal is right there in its title, only the second-best title of the month (after Snakes on a Plane) but still maybe the second-best title of all time." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Aug 23, 2006
D- 4%

Material Girls (2006)

"It's not Clueless, just clueless." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Aug 23, 2006
C+ 74%

Princesas (Princesses) (2005)

"The way that Aranoa so clearly venerates his lively women feels Almodóvar-esque, but the movie aims most of all to suggest that hookerdom is hell -- and it's neither realistic nor unsentimental enough to pull that off." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Aug 23, 2006
C 40%

The Night Listener (2006)

"... the movie doesn't cohere." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Aug 2, 2006
C+ 22%

Barnyard (2006)

"... feels like Barnyard swipes too much of its plot from The Lion King." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Aug 2, 2006
D 26%

John Tucker Must Die (2006)

"Ostensibly, he's been caught dating three pretty girls at the same time, but, really, is that a big deal? Well, no, according to this confused female-disempowerment flick." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Jul 26, 2006
B 27%

Waist Deep (2006)

"Curtis Hall keeps slipping in surprising social and emotional flavorings rarely found in [this] genre." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Jul 5, 2006
D+ 37%

The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006)

"The third movie in the Bad News Bears series, a notable turkey, went to Japan. That trip spells certain doom for the Fast and the Furious franchise as well." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Jun 14, 2006
C+ 44%

Goal! The Dream Begins (Goal!: The Impossible Dream) (2005)

"Sometimes the first movie in a trilogy isn't that good, but it fails just nobly enough to still make you curious enough to maybe see the sequels." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted May 10, 2006
C- 33%

The Sentinel (2006)

"Eva Longoria is the first-day-on-the-job rookie Sutherland improbably takes on as his partner. Her presence is the only irrefutable confirmation that this musty movie was indeed shot in the 21st century." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Apr 19, 2006
D 23%

Phat Girlz (2006)

"Jazmin's so fat that the movie reduces her to a single discernible characteristic, which is a telltale mark of many a wholly awful comedy." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Apr 12, 2006
D- 9%

Stay Alive (2006)

"Videogames are no longer brainless, so why are videogame movies so slow to evolve?" ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Mar 29, 2006
C+ 40%

Winter Passing (2006)

"A kind of lugubrious shtick takes over." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Feb 22, 2006
D+ 14%

London (2006)

"It's not so interesting to watch people on cocaine babble back and forth at each other." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Feb 15, 2006
B- 70%

Roving Mars (2006)

"Only a series of pics featuring a set of strange little nodes that look like blueberries planted in a pile of red rocks carry any kind of translatable otherworldly kick." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Feb 1, 2006
C 16%

Underworld: Evolution (2006)

"... the series never expands on the promise of its one innovation." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Jan 25, 2006
C+ 10%

Annapolis (2006)

"Compellingly reserved and inscrutable at the start, Franco starts to lose us by the second hour ..." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Jan 25, 2006
D 16%

Grandma's Boy (2006)

"[The film] does a very thorough job of reducing every recognizable member of the cast to probable career lows." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Jan 11, 2006
F 4%

BloodRayne (2006)

"It's time to start paying attention to the oeuvre of German director Uwe Boll. At this rate, he'll become the Ed Wood of this new movie century." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Jan 11, 2006
D+ 6%

Cheaper by the Dozen 2 (2005)

"A family fantasy that plays at being happy and picture-perfect but primarily comes off as fake and dismayingly unfunny." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Jan 6, 2006
B+ 52%

First Descent (2005)

"[A] sometimes thrilling extreme-sports doc." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Nov 30, 2005
C 24%

G (2005)

"Another strikeout, further destroying F. Scott Fitzgerald's film batting average." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Nov 2, 2005
B- 36%

Saw II (2005)

"The contest is close, but Saw II is just barely a better B flick than Saw." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Oct 26, 2005
C- 84%

Three...Extremes (Saam gaang yi) (2005)

"Another pulpy Creepshow movie would be more welcome than a second installment of this stiff stuff." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Oct 26, 2005
C+ 64%

Dreamer: Inspired by a True Story (2005)

"The forced family dynamics just drag the movie down." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Oct 19, 2005
C- 31%

Waiting (2005)

"The rest of the laughs (when they eventually arrive; the first half hour is kinda bleak) are mostly scraped from the pit of your roiling stomach." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Oct 5, 2005
C- 63%

The Greatest Game Ever Played (2005)

"The movie is so hungry for love that the orchestra shrieks, caps fly into the air, and the slo-mo oozes in when the lad merely forces a final play-off...and there's still 20 minutes to go!" ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Sep 28, 2005
C+ 52%

Transporter 2 (2005)

"The greatest thing about the movie is Statham, a charismatic silent, deadly type who deserves to take the wheel behind a better franchise." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Aug 31, 2005
C 63%

Saint Ralph (2005)

"It's as if Max Fischer from Rushmore turned, mid-movie, into Billy Elliot." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Aug 3, 2005
B 74%

Pure (2005)

"Director Gillies MacKinnon (Hideous Kinky) forges a very wrenching and believable bond between Parker and Eden." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted Jun 1, 2005
B 92%

Up for Grabs (2005)

"A twisty little documentary about the aftermath of Bonds' fat swing." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted May 19, 2005
A- 65%

Danny the Dog (2005)

"[Has] three or four gangbusters action sequences, all of which are unexpectedly stomach-clenching." ‐ Entertainment Weekly
Posted May 11, 2005