Jay Horton

Jay Horton
Jay Horton's reviews only count toward the Tomatometer® when published at the following Tomatometer-approved publication(s): Willamette Week
Publications: Willamette Week

Movie Reviews Only

T-Meter Title | Year
2/4 11% The Doorman (2020) The Doorman is hardly the first ill-conceived variant of Die Hard. However, this latest iteration might well be the laziest. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 16, 2020
2/4 78% Eternal Beauty (2019) Preserve the mystery or examine the motives, but showing the same mistakes made over and over again and expecting emotional resonance feels like the definition of inanity. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 8, 2020
2/4 78% Martin Margiela: In His Own Words (2020) For all but the most hardcore fashionista superfans, less really isn't more this time. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 27, 2020
3/4 94% Boys State (2020) Politics makes strange bedfellows... - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 14, 2020
3/4 92% The Vast of Night (2020) For a feature effectively premiering via the Amazon age of ubiquity, The Vast of Night thrusts suspicions squarely upon our supposed mastery of instantaneous communication and wrings fear from a moment of static. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Jun 4, 2020
84% The Way Back (2020) Sold as a sports movie, The Way Back wishes instead to render a harrowing portrait of addiction but only manages to evoke the bleariest stages of a midweek hangover. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 12, 2020
3/4 62% The Call of the Wild (2020) With Ford's gnarled presence grounding the narrative, animation vet Chris Sanders takes full advantage of his photo-realistic CGI lead...[it] sustains the whiff of nature while actually learning a few new tricks. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 28, 2020
20% Cats (2019) For all of the star power on display, this is an indoor Cats: spayed, defanged and thoroughly domesticated. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Dec 26, 2019
71% Wrinkles the Clown (2019) Everything we needed to know about this 2015 viral sensation could've been gleaned from Wrinkles' still-affecting debut video, but some filmmakers just want to watch the hours burn. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 9, 2019
2/4 43% The Art of Racing in the Rain (2019) Of all potential careers, this one seems particularly ill-suited to canine ambitions, and a smarter film might have allowed Enzo to question why his owner insists on taking laps in the hardest, costliest, loudest manner imaginable. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 23, 2019
3/4 67% Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw (2019) Most of the film plays out like a smarter, stylized distillation of the essential Fast and the Furious tropes... - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 8, 2019
89% Rocketman (2019) Don't expect anything more than a jukebox musical outlining the piano player's true-ish story. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Jun 7, 2019
43% Godzilla: King of the Monsters (2019) Alas, even as an empty spectacle intended solely to focus attention on the coming main event, the results never satisfy. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Jun 7, 2019
79% Captain Marvel (2019) Larson creates from whole cloth a recognizable template of unsinkable feminine swagger. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 22, 2019
2/4 84% The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part (2019) What passes for narrative requires manufacturing an antagonist whose motivations never make sense and whose very existence disregards the absurd yet otherwise continuous rules defining Emmet's universe. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 25, 2019
100% Leave No Trace (2018) Despite Leave No Trace's humorless treatment and tragedy of its issues, McKenzie's incandescent ebullience blazes. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Jun 28, 2018
3/4 84% Blockers (2018) Based on this debut, Cannon deserves a project less dependent on vomit, butt-chugging and penis jokes. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Apr 12, 2018
3/4 90% Isle of Dogs (2018) While Anderson's admirers may divine some underlying environmentalist resonance from a tale largely set on Trash Island, few directors have ever been as eager to poke through the abandoned detritus of societal folly. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 28, 2018
2/4 46% My Little Pony: The Movie (2017) MLPTM creators are all too aware they now serve two masters. However kid-friendly the daft plot, its dialogue has been sharpened for a much older, far more cynical clientele. Bronyism hangs heavy over each knowing aside and attempted clever reference. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 12, 2017
3/4 43% The Hitman's Bodyguard (2017) The stars complement one another perfectly and, in the weirdest way, organically flesh out undeveloped characters otherwise defined solely by Hollywood clichés. . . - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 24, 2017
3/4 78% Atomic Blonde (2017) Even with the playfully stylized flourishes teasing coherency from a pointlessly complicated narrative, the film has a giddy devotion to its own daft momentum. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Aug 4, 2017
4/4 93% Wonder Woman (2017) By the time we reach the Western Front with Trevor's rag-tag secret agent squad, Patty Jenkins has so deftly juggled period rom-com and epic fantasy elements that even trench warfare barely dampens the momentum. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Jun 7, 2017
3/4 17% Baywatch (2017) Dwayne Johnson, forever miscast in vehicles built to human dimensions, finally has room to stretch. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted May 31, 2017
3/4 80% Chuck (2017) Chuck nimbly dances around usual trouble spots to target the irony of modern celebrity culture: With the power of fame now trivializing its origins, any bum who wants to be somebody can suddenly wake up a contender. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted May 17, 2017
2/4 81% Colossal (2017) So much of the film is done so well and so thoughtfully, with such seriousness of intent pulsing through the batshit concept, that audiences can't help but expect a climactic mission statement of higher purpose that never arrives. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Apr 19, 2017
2/4 67% The Fate of the Furious (2017) Human scale and recognizable emotions are a poor match for the ever-escalating spectacles of a franchise veering cosmically-deranged one mile at a time. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Apr 19, 2017
2/4 91% David Lynch: The Art Life (2017) Lynch mostly sticks to generalizations about each major period discussed, rarely offering the poignant anecdotal touches that would keep a viewer engaged. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Apr 19, 2017
2/4 85% Afterimage (Powidoki) (2017) A grim portrait recounting the deadening effects of the Soviet regime on creative freedoms, the vicarious toll of successive small embarrassments and minor defeats forced on the artist proves difficult to bear. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Apr 4, 2017
3/4 81% T2 Trainspotting (2017) By setting our anti-heroes' self-mythologizing against Veronika's own willfully-blocked horrors or the waking nightmare of Spud's all-too-clear-eyed recall, T2 doesn't quite indulge the same melancholy high of romanticized origins. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 23, 2017
2/4 75% Kong: Skull Island (2017) Skull Island replaces Age of Discovery heroics with wartime ambience. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 15, 2017
2/4 75% Staying Vertical (Rester vertical) (2017) For all the characters' predatory bluster, they're just sheep in no clothing. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 1, 2017
3/4 94% Old Stone (Lao Shi) (2016) Ma sustains a creeping noir sensibility by accentuating the claustrophobic unease of tiny smoke-filled cars hurtling along teeming streets toward blood-soaked ends ever threatened. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 1, 2017
3/4 89% I don't feel at home in this world anymore. (2017) A sloppily untrimmed, factory-damaged hipsterville peopled by feckless fantasists and maladjusted obsessives, this Portland is where the dreams of the '90s came to die. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 1, 2017
2/4 47% Rock Dog (2017) Offering nary a moral lesson to be learned, the streamlined story zips from one joke to the next with welcome space for left-field absurdities and a casual momentum even the godawful musical numbers can't entirely neuter. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 1, 2017
3/4 No Score Yet Life After Life (Zhi fan ye mao) (2016) The often breathtaking imagery of first-time writer-director Zhang Hanyi distills the spark of magic from a rigorous austerity. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 27, 2017
2/4 36% The Great Wall (2017) [At first,] we learn the Great Wall of China was originally erected to protect the Chinese from marauding forces embodying the depths of human greed. Shortly afterward, we realize The Great Wall was made for precisely opposite reasons. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 23, 2017
3/4 97% Burden (2017) Though short on personal insights that might explain Burden's late-life shift toward family-friendly tourist fodder... the filmmakers tacitly argue that when life and art so closely intertwine, the works speak for themselves. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 9, 2017
3/4 No Score Yet Louise by the Shore (Louise en Hiver) (2015) Conveying wistful melancholia though indelible imagery drawn by the artist's hand (and then animated by computer), the measured pace and elegiac tone require and endlessly reward a willing patience. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 9, 2017
2/4 85% My Entire High School Sinking Into the Sea (2017) The true star ... remains Shaw's technique-a dizzying mixed-media mélange of bravura squiggles and winking broad strokes capturing the essence of kids in over their heads. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 8, 2017
2/4 No Score Yet Life+1Day (2016) Weaving timeless themes within a disparate cultural context, first-time writer-director Saeed Roustari injects this bleak urban landscape with nuance, empathy and dark humor. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 8, 2017
3/4 100% Heidi (2015) Alain Gsponer's adaptation follows precisely the original 19th-cenutry blueprint for Heidi and demonstrates, even in this digital age, the evergreen appeal of picturesque environs, flirty goatherds, and incandescent adorability. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 8, 2017
3/5 No Score Yet Half Ticket (2016) Sanjay Memane's buoyant camera work lopes through the Mumbai tenements with a kinetic vibrancy that propels forward the boys' quest with stirring grace and infectious enthusiasm. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 8, 2017
B+ 35% A Dog's Purpose (2017) We could argue the film represents an artless waste of resources and brazen manipulation of empty sentiment, but...oooh, who's a good movie? Who's a good movie?! - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 1, 2017
F 24% The Comedian (2017) The film betrays a sloppiness and blinkered entitlement bordering on the toxic. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 1, 2017
B 80% The Founder (2017) From his first appearance addressing the camera with a marble-mouthed sales pitch, Keaton renders the struggling milkshake machine rep's desperation incandescent. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Jan 25, 2017
C 35% Live By Night (2017) The last 90 minutes crawl by as an extended estate-planning commercial replete with endless widescreen ogles of classic cars passing lush Floridian vistas. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Jan 12, 2017
C 30% Passengers (2016) Passengers so proudly boasts star power and visual panache that it takes a while to notice the limp romantic subplot that serves as featured in-flight entertainment. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Jan 11, 2017
C+ 84% Oasis: Supersonic (2016) Future documentarians, please don't put your films in the hands of a rock-'n'-roll band. They'll throw it all away. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 2, 2016
B 20% Keeping Up With The Joneses (2016) The Joneses, blessedly, draws down the scope and extends each scene for lovingly etched performances to flesh out the creeping unease of marital doldrums and workplace anomie. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 20, 2016
C 57% Phantasm: Ravager (2016) For all the OTT schlock spectacle and community-theater-quality performances, there's a tangible bond between the characters that gathers emotive momentum toward a surprisingly touching coda. - Willamette Week EDIT
Read More | Posted Oct 5, 2016