John Patterson

John Patterson

Agrees with the Tomatometer 70% of the time.

John Patterson's reviews only count toward the Tomatometer when published at the following Tomatometer-approved publication(s): L.A. Weekly, Village Voice

Movie Reviews Only

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Rating T-Meter Title | Year Review

The Revenant (2015)

"The Revenant offers this year's most hostile on-film environment after Aleksey German's equally snowbound (and exhausting) Hard to Be a God." ‐ Truthdig
Posted Dec 29, 2015

Spotlight (2015)

"Both a crepuscular paean to the slowly vanishing age of the metropolitan daily newspaper and a hymn to the virtues of old-school shoe-leather investigative journalism, the kind that gets results and changes lives and cities." ‐ Truthdig
Posted Nov 12, 2015

Our Brand is Crisis (2015)

"Their brand isn't crisis -- their brand is middlebrow, middle-of-the-road, entirely middling filmmaking of the third rank." ‐ Truthdig
Posted Nov 3, 2015

Bridge of Spies (2015)

"As a retro-Cold War thriller, Bridge of Spies is an efficient, exciting entertainment dotted with nicely executed set pieces, but it's also a Spielberg movie, which usually means trouble somewhere." ‐ Truthdig
Posted Oct 15, 2015

Black Mass (2015)

"What is so disappointing about Black Mass is its sheer timorousness in the face of other, frankly, better and more daring approaches to this material." ‐ Truthdig
Posted Sep 22, 2015
3/5 46%

Last Vegas (2013)

" Last Vegas is a good-natured bimbo of a movie, it'll do just about anything to please you, though luckily that includes delivering the 20 big laughs you feel you're owed (unlike The Hangovers), and gently jerking a tear or two." ‐ Guardian
Posted Nov 4, 2013
3/5 50%

Seal Team 6: The Raid on Osama Bin Laden (2012)

"Seal Team 6 could only rate as propaganda in a toxic, Fox News-driven political environment such as obtains at this moment." ‐ Guardian
Posted Nov 6, 2012

The Girl Who Played with Fire (Flickan som lekte med elden) (2010)

"Fans of the novels will eat it up, while newbies may wonder what all the fuss is about." ‐ Village Voice
Posted Jul 6, 2010

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2009)

"Catch it before the inevitable U.S. remake." ‐ Village Voice
Posted Mar 16, 2010

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2009)

"May be a shallower experience than the book, but it has a headlong velocity all its own. Catch it before the inevitable U.S. remake." ‐ City Pages, Minneapolis/St. Paul
Posted Feb 26, 2009

The Color of Pomegranates (Sayat Nova ) (1980)

"A madly beautiful, often straight-up-bonkers meditation on the life of its eponymous Armenian-Azeri balladeer and poet." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Feb 21, 2008

Shadows of Forgotten Ancestors (Tini zabutykh predkiv) (1967)

"Shadows was a leap in the dark like none other in Soviet film history, and a slap in the face of the officially sanctioned and artistically vacuous school of Socialist Realism." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Feb 21, 2008

Unconscious (2006)

"Laboring in the wide shadow of Almodóvar and lacking much in the way of visual distinction, Unconscious compensates with its cast's full-tilt commitment to rip-snorting farce." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Apr 12, 2007

Fuck (F*ck) (2005)

"Profound and joyously silly at the same time, Steve Anderson's documentary about our most potent secular blasphemy comes at the word and subject from every conceivable angle: Its awesome power to offend the listener and to empower its utterer." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Nov 9, 2006
No Score Yet

Greg and Gentillon (2006)

"Sending two faux-provincial innocents into real-life situations involving levelheaded, genially imperturbable Canadians offers only the mildest kind of comedy." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Oct 26, 2006

Journey into Buddhism: Vajra Sky Over Tibet (2006)

"A tonic for Buddhists, no doubt, it offers many pleasures to atheists as well." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Sep 7, 2006

Princesas (Princesses) (2005)

"Aranoa's film is a small miracle of controlled empathy." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Aug 31, 2006

Reinas (Queens) (2006)

"This enormously likable comedy is given an additional boost by the energetic presence of five of Spain's favorite actresses (including sleek Marisa Paredes, flighty Mercedes Sanpietro and growlin' Carmen Maura, an Almodóvar regular)." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Aug 24, 2006

Sisters in Law (2005)

"Inspirational stuff, and often hysterical to boot." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Jul 6, 2006

RV (2006)

"In RV, the downwardly spiraling career trajectories of Robin Williams and director Barry Sonnenfeld intertwine like the ropes of a tangled parachute." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted May 2, 2006

Stoned (2005)

"This half-forgotten '60s controversy can't sustain a whole movie, so director Steven Woolley and writers Neal Purvis and Robert Wade pad things out." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Mar 23, 2006

Firewall (2006)

"Had Loncraine done a better job of plundering his own oeuvre, Firewall might have acquired the mojo it so sorely lacks." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Feb 9, 2006

Wolf Creek (2005)

"Consummately well-crafted, unapologetically vicious and leavened with moments of humor that merely intensify the horror." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Dec 22, 2005

Get Rich or Die Tryin' (2005)

"Even more problematic is the script's clumsy, sprawling architecture, Sheridan's clubfooted sense of pacing and his grubby, indistinct visuals." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Nov 10, 2005

Winter Soldier (1972)

"A harrowing and often nauseating compendium of battle-zone confessions that was cast into obscurity almost immediately upon release in 1972." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Nov 3, 2005

Elizabethtown (2005)

"Crowe's undeniable gifts -- his well-crafted individual scenes and his love for his characters -- are more evident here than his flaws." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Oct 13, 2005

Into the Blue (2005)

"Some narrative economy could have shaved 20 minutes off the film's slackly paced two hours and brought us sooner to its memorably frenetic underwater climax -- a payoff that's finally too little, too late to save the movie." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Sep 29, 2005

Flightplan (2005)

"The vanished child one really misses here is that adorably sparky, wised-up kid from Bugsy Malone and Alice Doesn't Live Here Any More." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Sep 23, 2005
1/5 12%

The Man (2005)

"When a movie's comedic zenith is Levy farting in an elevator full of nuns, or nerdily intoning the salutations 'homie' and 'bitch,' you know it's time to storm the box office to demand restitution." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Sep 8, 2005

The Perfect Crime (El Crimen Perfecto)(Crimen ferpecto) (2005)

"The colors are lurid, the camera prowls relentlessly, and the lead performers are exuberant." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Aug 25, 2005

Chaos (2005)

"A prefatory title-card-cum-alibi suggests that the film's extreme brutality is intended 'to educate and, perhaps, save lives,' but that's little more than a nauseating rationalization." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Aug 18, 2005

Must Love Dogs (2005)

"At once over- and under-written, and peppered with tiresome coincidences and misunderstandings, Goldberg's mechanical, joke-one, joke-two, joke-three approach to ensemble screenwriting soon betrays his TV-sitcom roots." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Jul 28, 2005

Union Square (2004)

"Without a well-delineated political or social framework, Union Square offers little that we didn't already know from, say, The Panic in Needle Park or Christiane F." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Jun 23, 2004

Grand Theft Parsons (2004)

"Irish director David Caffrey and English screenwriter Jeremy Drysdale have, respectively, zero sense of pace and a tin-eared grasp of period speech, and together fail either to let us care about their characters or to create any sense of a living era." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Jun 17, 2004

Stateside (2004)

"[Anselmo's] sure-footed handling of emotional tone enables his endearing young leads to function in a sympathetic and coherent realm." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted May 20, 2004

Carandiru (2004)

"One of the richest prison movies in years." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted May 12, 2004

Breakin' All the Rules (2004)

"Yet another unfunny buppie sex comedy." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted May 12, 2004

Envy (2004)

"What's frustrating about the half-cocked comedy that follows is that it contains so many inspired moments and offers plenty of laughs, yet suffers from the lack of a unifying directorial intelligence." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Apr 29, 2004

Bobby Jones: Stroke of Genius (2004)

"Relaxed, leisurely and unforced, exactly the way a pleasant round of golf ought to be." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Apr 29, 2004

Man on Fire (2004)

"A movie of two unreconcilable halves." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Apr 22, 2004

Shaolin Soccer (2004)

"The movie has a rambunctious and likable energy that compensates for its unsteady, only intermittently amusing narrative." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Mar 31, 2004

Hellboy (2004)

"One of the sturdier superhero movies of the last couple of years, with monsters and effects and diabolical baddies to spare, a heart as big as a house and a love story that actually gets its hooks in you." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Mar 31, 2004

Eurotrip (2003)

"While Eurotrip scarcely amounts to a considered examination of transatlantic cultural differences, it sure comes through on the belly-laugh front." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Feb 26, 2004

50 First Dates (2004)

"The memory-loss device dimly recalls Groundhog Day, though the film's low laugh rate, occasional lachrymosity and flaccid pacing assuredly do not." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Feb 11, 2004

Touching the Void (2004)

"Breathtaking stuff that freezes the toes, harrows the soul and turns the viewer's seat into a foot-wide ledge over a yawning chasm." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Feb 5, 2004

Barbershop 2: Back in Business (2004)

"Hysterically funny, historically aware, politically nuanced, culturally sophisticated and productively self-critical all at the same time -- and you'll need a second viewing just to catch all the jokes." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Feb 5, 2004

The Perfect Score (2004)

"This undercooked high school heist movie is disfigured by flabby dialogue ... unfunny pratfalls and criminally slack pacing." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Jan 28, 2004

Bad Boys II (2003)

"Bay's world is basically Miami Vice squared, cubed and updated to THX and Dolby SurroundSound noise levels, and it must have cost the earth to outstrip every other action-bozo currently labouring in the same field." ‐ Guardian
Posted Jan 15, 2004

Peter Pan (2003)

"For the first time in ages, a film makes one grateful for special effects: Indeed, it feels as if this is the very story such innovations were invented to enhance. You do, you do, you DO believe in fairies!" ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Dec 18, 2003

Chavez: Inside the Coup (2003)

"Rough-hewn, improvisatory and contentedly lo-fi, the resulting documentary should prove warmly encouraging to embattled progressives of all stripes, and incidentally offers the best political date-movie of the week." ‐ L.A. Weekly
Posted Nov 20, 2003
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