Johnny Gayzmonic

Johnny Gayzmonic
Tomatometer-approved critic
Publications: Fanboys of the Universe

Movie Reviews Only

T-Meter Title | Year
6/10 23% Dark Phoenix (2019) It sends a 20-year, genre-defining franchise out on a whimper. While occasionally entertaining and exciting, it overall comes off as a kind of afterthought. An obligation. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Jun 7, 2019
6/10 66% Pokémon Detective Pikachu (2019) It's a massive evolution for the Pokémon franchise...and even a small one for video game films in general. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted May 10, 2019
8/10 94% Avengers: Endgame (2019) You know things are pretty damn serious when Captain America starts swearing. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Apr 26, 2019
8/10 90% Shazam! (2019) Shazam! is the magic word that turns the DC Extended Universe into a super-charged good time. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Apr 5, 2019
7/10 94% Us (2019) As challenging as it is mysterious, it leaves us with more questions than answers, and in that darkness and doubt, it finds the true meaning of terror. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 22, 2019
7/10 78% Captain Marvel (2019) There's a lack of Marvel bombast, but it's replaced by a focus on natural and unforced character interaction. It's a down-to-earth film about a cosmically-powered hero. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Mar 8, 2019
6/10 60% Alita: Battle Angel (2019) Feels both vital and alive even while it can't hide the seams barely holding it together...it's a construct with a beating heart that pulses stronger the harder it works. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 14, 2019
6/10 85% The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part (2019) "Doesn't always go the distance...but it's solid, effective, and never violates the MPAA ratings criteria for a PG rating. And after all, isn't that what's most important?" - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Feb 8, 2019
4/10 37% Glass (2019) What's frustrating, beyond Shyamalan's inordinate fascination with his own work and his precious final-act twists, is that there really is nobody to root for in Glass. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Jan 18, 2019
7/10 79% Mary Poppins Returns (2018) "It might not be practically perfect in every way, but it's close enough to do the trick." - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Dec 20, 2018
6/10 65% Aquaman (2018) "Aquaman the film isn't as deep as the ocean, but Aquaman the man is just as captivating." - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Dec 17, 2018
9/10 97% Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018) "An exploration of the qualities that not only make up Spider-Man as a cultural icon and comic book touchstone but the elemental nature of Stan Lee-sized superheroics." - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Dec 14, 2018
6/10 89% Ralph Breaks the Internet (2018) Disney's first theatrical sequel in decades, and a surprisingly strong case for keeping those sequels quick, cheap, and straight-to-video. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 21, 2018
8/10 76% Kick-Ass (2010) Kick-Ass asks what would happen if superheroes really DID operate in the real world, and the results are shocking, intriguing and entertaining all at once. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
7/10 37% Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (2010) While it has a few notable flaws, the sum of its parts adds up to a lot of fun, humor, and thrilling action sequences. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
7/10 63% Salt (2010) 'Who is Salt?' asks the marketing posters. By the end of the film, you're still not sure, but it's a credit to everyone involved when you find yourself dying to find out. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
7/10 No Score Yet The Lost Skeleton Returns Again (2009) Feels much more like a 'real' film than the first one did...Larry Blamire has a great feel for his source material and definite love for horrible sci-fi films of yesteryear. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
5/10 23% Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010) Are there babes kicking monster butt? You bet there are! Is there a plot or a secondary character we could possibly care about? Of course not! - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
8/10 71% Red (2010) Goes down remarkably easy, but not as to be forgettable...It's great to remember that action films could actually win you over by being fun and not just by being loud. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
6/10 50% Tron Legacy (2010) Error: data not found. This is a program that runs fine, and does what it's supposed to, but it definitely needs a patch to work all the bugs out. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
4/10 10% Season of the Witch (2011) It could have been a campy, but interesting fantasy adventure...Instead, it's just boring and tedious. Someone obviously rolled a 1 on their d20. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
8/10 89% Tangled (2010) A welcome reminder of some of Disney's best works. The animation is exquisite, the script fantastic, and the leads all perform well. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
7/10 40% The Eagle (2011) Its the relationship between these men -- and not some anvilicious symbol -- that drives the story and makes you want to ride alongside them. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
6/10 33% I Am Number Four (2011) You could do worse. It's a rather entertaining film, and it doesn't take itself entirely seriously, with plenty of light touches that help to diffuse some of the melodrama. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
8/10 71% Paul (2011) It's geek pride all the way. It's funny, it's exciting, and it has jokes about spaceman junk. Who could ask for anything more? - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
6/10 22% Sucker Punch (2011) The film doesn't live up to the exciting spectacle of watching a steam-powered mech with a cute little kitty painted on the front mow down a giant zeppelin. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
8/10 92% Source Code (2011) If you can overlook the pseudoscientific explanations...you'll be treated to a trippy, head-spinning sci-fi drama with amazingly organic, human characters at its core. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
8/10 71% Hanna (2011) A dark, twisted fairy tale. 'I just missed your heart,' Hanna says to an elk she shoots at the beginning of the film. The film itself, however, is almost right on target. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
7/10 60% Scream 4 (2011) It doesn't always hit the vital organs, but it comes pretty close, and sometimes that's all it takes. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
5/10 7% Dylan Dog: Dead of Night (2011) It's entertaining enough, and the cast is great, but there's just not enough meat on the bones to really make it work as well as it should. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
7/10 15% Priest (2011) It's everything you've enjoyed in every genre film you've ever seen rolled into one package, although it seems to lose something when added into the sum of its parts. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
8/10 86% X-Men: First Class (2011) This is not an empty popcorn film. It has a heart, a mind, and a healthy stock of endorphins. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
4/10 81% Super 8 (2011) The film is covered in a thick syrup of nostalgia that often threatens to choke the life out of it. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
6/10 26% Green Lantern (2011) In brightest day, in blackest night...No cliche will escape my sight...I guess its really not that bad...But it certainly is loud and bright. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
7/10 80% Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) Nothing less than an action-packed good time with a great cast, a great lead, a great score and great action sequences. In case you haven't guessed by now, it's great. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
5/10 45% Cowboys & Aliens (2011) It has cowboys. It has aliens. It does exactly what it says on the tin. Unfortunately, it rarely does anything more than that. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
5/10 36% Dark Shadows (2012) What seems like it should work amazingly well just turns out to disappoint. There's really no explanation for it. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 4, 2018
7/10 25% Conan the Barbarian (2011) Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying and Love Jason Mamoa. Who is this 'Arnold' person you keep talking about? - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 3, 2018
3/10 59% Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark (2011) There are dumb movies, and then there are Dumb Movies, movies that seem so brain-dead that they don't even bring a number 2 pencil to the exam. This is one of those movies. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 3, 2018
8/10 84% Contagion (2011) It's a science fiction film firmly rooted in fact and a horror film based entirely on real-world possibilities. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 3, 2018
7/10 84% Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (2011) If you only see one rednecks vs. preppies film this year...this should be the one. Oh, and watch out for that woodchipper. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 3, 2018
7/10 26% The Three Musketeers (2011) Its one for all and all for WTF when Paul W. S. Anderson goes medieval on French literature. Just go with it. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 3, 2018
8/10 37% In Time (2011) Overall, [its] a solid, well-acted, well-conceived and well-staged science fiction film of the classic, quietly cerebral Outer Limits/Twilight Zone variety. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 3, 2018
6/10 38% Immortals (2011) A bevy of Bronze Age beefcakes face off in something that resembles Greek myth if you kind of squint at it. Not that there's anything wrong with that. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 3, 2018
9/10 95% The Muppets (2011) On behalf of the lovers, the dreamers and me, thank you Jason Segel for making all of us very, very happy. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 3, 2018
7/10 60% Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (2011) A smashing good time, a film that may not be as intelligent as it thinks it is, but is nonetheless wickedly entertaining. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 3, 2018
9/10 86% The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011) A mesmerizing thriller anchored by a brilliant, revelatory performance by Rooney Mara. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 3, 2018
4/10 26% Wrath of the Titans (2012) There's no good reason for this film to exist, yet it does, so the least it could do is be amusing...[its] too lifeless to be bad, but it's too inert to be any fun. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 3, 2018
7/10 50% Mirror Mirror (2012) Sometimes, all you need is something light and airy to really hit your sweet spot, and this film delivers that in a bright red brocaded ball gown. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 3, 2018
5/10 27% Underworld: Awakening (2012) A pale woman in a vinyl catsuit opened fire indiscriminately today. Among the casualties were Plot and Consistency. She should be considered armed and extremely British. - Fanboys of the Universe EDIT
Read More | Posted Nov 3, 2018