Jordan HoffmanMovie Reviews & Previews - Rotten Tomatoes

Jordan Hoffman

Jordan Hoffman
Jordan Hoffman's reviews (from any publication) always count toward the Tomatometer because this critic is a Tomatometer-approved critic.

Movie Reviews Only

Rating T-Meter Title | Year Review
3/5 38% The Yellow Birds (2016) Moors excels at creating mood. ‐ Guardian
Posted Jan 22, 2017
4/5 100% Bright Lights: Starring Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds (2017) Self-deprecating bon mots, wordplay, song lyrics and perfectly timed occasional moans are what elevate this beyond simple "Keeping Up With" material. ‐ Guardian
Posted Jan 6, 2017
96% Paterson (2016) Jim Jarmusch and Paterson: here is the most beautiful match in the world. ‐ Vanity Fair
Posted Dec 28, 2016
17% Assassin's Creed (2016) A picture bound to please just about no one. ‐ Vanity Fair
Posted Dec 19, 2016
C+ 31% Passengers (2016) "If you aren't nauseated by the ethics, it's quite engaging." ‐ The Playlist
Posted Dec 15, 2016
4/5 85% Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016) This is a movie made for fans. ‐ Guardian
Posted Dec 15, 2016
42% Office Christmas Party (2016) The familiar dinguses can actually be quite entertaining. ‐ Vanity Fair
Posted Dec 12, 2016
19% Inferno (2016) When you want to put down Sky Mall for a few minutes, Inferno will be right there, on the back of the seat in front of you. ‐ Vanity Fair
Posted Dec 12, 2016
100% Things to Come (L'avenir) (2016) A career-best performance by the increasingly essential Isabelle Huppert ‐ Vanity Fair
Posted Dec 12, 2016
40% Why Him? (2016) For airplane viewing or something to stream, the answer is: Sure, why not? ‐ Vanity Fair
Posted Dec 12, 2016
3/5 54% Rules Don't Apply (2016) It doesn't make sense as a comedy, it doesn't quite work as a drama, and it doesn't follow the typical roadmap of a biopic, but Rules Don't Apply is strangely compelling nonetheless. ‐ Guardian
Posted Nov 11, 2016
88% Elle (2016) I can't exactly call Elle a movie I feel good about liking, but I can't get it out of my head, either. ‐ Vanity Fair
Posted Nov 10, 2016
4/5 93% The Eagle Huntress (2016) In addition to the feelgood, family-friendly aspects (along with Daisy Ridley, Star Wars' Rey, narrating), there are wonderful glimpses of this unique society's non-ornithological customs. ‐ Guardian
Posted Nov 1, 2016
4/5 100% Sky Ladder: The Art of Cai Guo-Qiang (2016) Even the most art-averse cynic will recognise the blood, sweat and tears that went in to creating this strange and beautiful experience. ‐ Guardian
Posted Oct 11, 2016
4/5 100% Zoology (Zoologiya) (2016) Zoology isn't just about a person who has grown a tail, but a tale of personal growth. ‐ Guardian
Posted Oct 1, 2016
4/5 97% 13th (2016) "Prisons are the new plantations!" may seem like sloganeering from a far-left protestor, but DuVernay's effective film draws a strong, straight line from the abolition of slavery to today's mass incarceration epidemic, explaining its root cause: money. ‐ Guardian
Posted Oct 1, 2016
1/5 No Score Yet Clinton, Inc. (2016) Another lo-fi attempt to sway the election crashes into select cinemas with a set of vicious attacks and a lack of anything resembling a revelation. ‐ Guardian
Posted Oct 1, 2016
1/5 31% Masterminds (2016) A tooth extraction without painkillers would have been far more enjoyable. ‐ Guardian
Posted Oct 1, 2016
4/5 76% Split (2017) Split really is a movie for all sorts of personalities. ‐ Guardian
Posted Sep 28, 2016
4/5 64% Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children (2016) Tim Burton's best (non-musical) live-action movie for 20 years. ‐ Guardian
Posted Sep 26, 2016
4/5 57% The Limehouse Golem (2016) Just when you think you never want to see another 1880s London prostitute get stabbed by a mysterious psychopath, along comes a movie like this that puts a nice spin on it. ‐ Guardian
Posted Sep 21, 2016
4/5 75% Carrie Pilby (2016) This is, ultimately, a very happy and upbeat film, and one with a very clear moral center. ‐ Guardian
Posted Sep 19, 2016
4/5 79% Barry (2016) Barry is a real movie about real problems, that just happens to be about a real person. ‐ Guardian
Posted Sep 16, 2016
2/5 50% Trespass Against Us (2017) Moments of excitement don't make up for what is ultimately a slow burn study of characters that aren't nearly as interesting as the movie thinks they are. ‐ Guardian
Posted Sep 12, 2016
62% Voyage of Time: Life's Journey (2016) I can hear some of your rolling your eyes all the way from here, but if anyone is going to take you on said voyage, let it be a filmmaker as skilled as Terrence Malick. ‐ Vanity Fair
Posted Sep 12, 2016
36% Blair Witch (2016) Once it becomes evident that this movie is just the 1999 version done with an electric guitar instead of an acoustic, all tension is shot. ‐ Vanity Fair
Posted Sep 12, 2016
46% The Bad Batch (2016) There's just not enough excitement or empathy in this movie to move past "yes, this is gruesome, but I get it." ‐ Vanity Fair
Posted Sep 12, 2016
78% Catfight (2016) The absurdist use of fisticuffs in Onur Tukel's extremely independent Catfight is unnerving, strangely hilarious -- and, whether you accept it or not, meaningful. ‐ Vanity Fair
Posted Sep 12, 2016
81% Denial (2016) This could be extremely rich soil for a good, smart drama in and out of the courtroom. Unfortunately, it's a bit of a dud, despite the noble efforts of the cast. ‐ Vanity Fair
Posted Sep 12, 2016
5/5 91% I Called Him Morgan (2016) Though Lee and Helen Morgan's fate is easily learned with a quick Google search, I'd rather leave it unspoken, out there in memory's snowdrift, something strange and indescribable, like this sad but still beautiful film itself. ‐ Guardian
Posted Sep 12, 2016
3/5 63% The Magnificent Seven (2016) There's a fine line between a slowburn and dull, and this Magnificent Seven frequently finds itself on the wrong side. ‐ Guardian
Posted Sep 12, 2016
4/5 No Score Yet Burn Your Maps (2017) We can debate if Burn Your Maps merely fetishises a different culture or holds it in true reverence, but I'd like to give it the benefit of the doubt. ‐ Guardian
Posted Sep 9, 2016
3/5 100% Barakah Meets Barakah (Barakah yoqabil Barakah) (2016) There's a great deal of visual sizzle, as well as sadness. ‐ Guardian
Posted Sep 9, 2016
3/5 80% Nocturama (2016) Too crafty to ignore, but too obnoxious to embrace. ‐ Guardian
Posted Sep 9, 2016
1/5 35% Max Rose (2016) Max Rose has the superficiality of a student film inexplicably bursting with famous people in it. ‐ Guardian
Posted Sep 3, 2016
3/5 62% Klown Forever (Klovn Forever) (2016) Leave behind your notions that [Klovn Forever] won't broach any topic for a joke. ‐ Guardian
Posted Aug 30, 2016
4/5 87% Don't Breathe (2016) While its script could have been written on the back of an envelope, its editing and use of sound design is a triumph. ‐ Guardian
Posted Aug 24, 2016
3/5 60% War Dogs (2016) Emerges from a similar dark place as The Wolf of Wall Street and The Big Short, but its howl from the abyss is muted. ‐ Guardian
Posted Aug 23, 2016
2/5 45% Hands of Stone (2016) As subtle and welcome as a blow to the head. ‐ Guardian
Posted Aug 22, 2016
3/5 25% Ben-Hur (2016) In its richer moments, it may not reach the level of I, Claudius, but it's at least within a javelin's throw of HBO's Rome. ‐ Guardian
Posted Aug 17, 2016
2/5 97% Kubo and the Two Strings (2016) I'm not inclined to give a pass to a family film that indoctrinates an irrational belief system just because it's novel. ‐ Guardian
Posted Aug 12, 2016
3/5 61% The Lost Arcade (2016) A small gem of a film ‐ Guardian
Posted Aug 12, 2016
2/5 66% Anthropoid (2016) The villains are a mass of helmets shouting "Schnell!" or "Scheisse!" or even, occasionally, "Schnell!" and "Scheisse!" Let's hope they got paid extra. ‐ Guardian
Posted Aug 10, 2016
4/5 83% Sausage Party (2016) The whole thing is so tasty, you may just want seconds. ‐ Guardian
Posted Aug 10, 2016
2/5 76% The Lovers And The Despot (2016) It's one hell of a yarn, which makes The Lovers and the Despot's strangely soporific style something of a disappointment. ‐ Guardian
Posted Aug 5, 2016
3/5 59% Bad Moms (2016) Bad Moms is to uncircumcised penises as The Third Man is to cuckoo clocks ‐ Guardian
Posted Jul 28, 2016
2/5 65% The Land (2016) Misery porn with no climax ‐ Guardian
Posted Jul 27, 2016
3/5 66% Nerve (2016) The pros slightly edge out the cons to make this perils-of-the-dark-web story appealing, and potentially a breakout success for the junior high set. ‐ Guardian
Posted Jul 26, 2016
2/5 76% Lights Out (2016) This is a movie that just floats along until it becomes socially irresponsible not to divulge some sort of explanation. ‐ Guardian
Posted Jul 19, 2016
1/5 4% Hillary's America: The Secret History of the Democratic Party (2016) The cinematic equivalent of a drunk man at a sports bar sucking back whole jalapeño peppers hoping for applause without ever being dared. ‐ Guardian
Posted Jul 18, 2016