Joseph Kastner Movie Reviews & Previews - Rotten Tomatoes

Joseph Kastner

Joseph Kastner
Seraph: The Oracle has many enemies, I had to be sure. Neo: Of what? Seraph: That you were The One. Neo: You could've just asked. Link: He's doin' his Superman thing. Dory: I shall call him Squishy, and he shall be mine, and he shall be my Squishy.

Agrees with the Tomatometer 75% of the time.

Joseph Kastner's reviews do not count toward the Tomatometer. This is not a Tomatometer-approved critic, and this critic's reviews are not published on a Tomatometer-approved publication.

Listing Of All Reviews & Articles

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Rating T-Meter Title | Year Review
4.5/5 93% Spider-Man 2 (2004) Movie Gurus
Posted Nov 9, 2011
4.5/5 88% Shrek 2 (2004) Movie Gurus
Posted Nov 9, 2011
4.5/5 98% The Lady Vanishes (1938) "The Lady Vanishes stands apart from many of Hitchcock's earlier British films as one of the best of the first half of his filmmaking career " ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Mar 8, 2006
4.5/5 98% The 39 Steps (1935) "The 39 Steps truly stands the test of time as one of the director's most stimulating spy-thrillers from his early film career " ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Mar 8, 2006
4.5/5 90% Blackmail (1929) "The rape scene in particular is especially mesmerizing ... The eerily penetrating silence of the moment and what is not seen, leaving the diabolical deed to the device of our own imagination " ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Feb 23, 2006
4/5 95% The Lodger: A Story of the London Fog (1928) "The Lodger is truly a remarkable film, a perfect demonstration of the camera techniques, innovative storytelling, mystery, intrigue , and pure idiosyncrasies which would make Alfred Hitchcock one of the best, if not THE best, director in Hollywood history " ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Feb 23, 2006
2/5 78% Munich (2005) "Munich's most glaring weakness, Kushner's screenplay, is so extreme in its revisionist interpretation of historical events it is likely to maker even pseudo-'documentarian' Michael Moore blush" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Feb 23, 2006
4.5/5 84% King Kong (2005) "Peter Jackson's King Kong is truly a rare motion picture event that can honestly be defined as an epic in every capacity of the word" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Dec 20, 2005
4/5 55% The Polar Express (2004) "The Polar Express is at best a sub par family feature and at worst barely even a mediocre holiday 'classic' with no true sense of story or meaning" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Dec 18, 2005
5/5 40% The Island (2005) "Unfortunately it seems as though The Island, easily this year's most innovative and startling motion-picture event, will likely go unnoticed by a majority of mainstream American audiences" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Dec 18, 2005
4/5 79% Red Eye (2005) "What Steven Spielberg did for sharks and the beach with Jaws Wes Craven and Red Eye will do for airplanes, hands down" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Dec 18, 2005
4.5/5 76% The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe (2005) "The Chronicles of Narnia remains true to both C.S. Lewis's epic vision of the whimsical world of Narnia and all those who inhabit it and the Christian undertones which encompass the plot and character developments of the entire book series" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Dec 18, 2005
4/5 36% Chicken Little (2005) "Chicken Little is surprisingly original, truly a credit to Walt Disney Pictures and the film's creators, with a balancing of heart-warming and emotionally inviting family values with analytic humor for each member of the family" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Dec 18, 2005
4.5/5 (A) 75% Wedding Crashers (2005) "Wedding Crashers is amoral, raunchy and sophomoric but combined with its sweet-hearted romanticism and touching message it marks itself as the funniest movies this year" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Jul 22, 2005
3/5 (C+) 83% Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) "Tim Burton's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is not so much a failure, far be it from that to be sure, as it is a disappointment" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Jul 21, 2005
4.5/5 (A) 74% War of the Worlds (2005) "The originative and visually stunning first half saves the film from whatever shortcomings its weaker second half, particularly its conclusion, may deliver" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Jul 8, 2005
5/5 (A+) 84% Batman Begins (2005) "Batman Begins triumphantly returns the Dark Knight to his long since forgotten former glory which existed in the time of Tim Burton's original big screen adaptation" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Jun 29, 2005
5/5 (A+) 80% Cinderella Man (2005) "Ron Howard's commanding direction and Russell Crowe's competently driven performance unanimously makes Cinderella Man the single most impressive feat this year" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Jun 3, 2005
4/5 (B) 31% The Longest Yard (2005) "The Longest Yard fulfills what it set out to accomplish which was to deliver a load of cheap laughs to its audience in a senseless piece of comedic entertainment" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted May 27, 2005
4.5/5 (A-) 79% Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005) "Revenge of the Sith secures its rightful place as the best of the prequel series and the third best film within the entire six-part saga" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted May 19, 2005
5/5 (A+) 94% Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980) "The Empire Strikes Back is quite easily the most emotionally gut-wrenching, visually stunning, and cinematically inspiring films of all time" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted May 16, 2005
3/5 (C-) 41% Kicking & Screaming (2005) "Kicking and Screaming truly devotes itself to its message of 'just having fun', which sadly results it a rather mediocre film and an even worse example for children" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted May 13, 2005
1/5 (F+) 39% Kingdom of Heaven (2005) "There truly can be no genuine characterization of Kingdom of Heaven then to say that it is in a sense nothing more then an atheist's wet-dream " ‐ Moose Hole
Posted May 7, 2005
3/5 (C-) 60% The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (2005) "Sadly audiences will need a guide of their own just to grasp one bit of material from the complex and ultimately bewildering Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Apr 29, 2005
4.5/5 (A-) 78% Sin City (2005) "Sin City is nonetheless nothing short of visually arresting entertainment in the best sense of the word and serves as one of the more innovative film projects in recent years." ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Apr 2, 2005
3/5 (C+) 86% Garden State (2004) "Art imitates life - the prospects of what might have been make it nearly unbearable at times, but when all is said and done you do not regret having taken the ride" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Mar 24, 2005
2/5 (D) 20% The Ring Two (2005) "The sequel's tagline which states 'fear comes full circle' is in fact a subliminal reference to the toilet bowl in which this horror remake franchise was flushed down into" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Mar 18, 2005
3/5 (C) 64% Robots (2005) "If Robots has taught us anything of value, it is this - procuring the perfected art form is better left to the professionals, also known as Pixar" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Mar 11, 2005
2.5/5 (D+) 30% Be Cool (2005) "Who needs satire or parodies when you have a film out there that is willing, intentionally or not, to make fun of itself at the expense of others?" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Mar 4, 2005
4/5 (B+) 46% Constantine (2005) "Constantine sophistically blurs the lines between theistic principles and 'Da Vinci Code' embellishment to entertain even the least spiritual amongst us" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Feb 25, 2005
4/5 (B) 69% Hitch (2005) "Hitch more then states the obvious when it comes to relationships ... but does provide with an opportunity to take that special someone out to catch a charming romantic comedy" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Feb 11, 2005
1/5 (F+) 83% Fahrenheit 9/11 (2004) "Fahrenheit 9/11 is nothing more then a stage from which Moore can push his left-wing propaganda down the throats of his callable audience" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Feb 7, 2005
4.5/5 (A) 96% Sideways (2004) "You will be able walk away from Sideways with a new view on life, on how we need not be overtly optimistic or pessimistic but instead be content with what life gives us" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Feb 4, 2005
4/5 (B) 100% The Return of Martin Guerre (Le Retour de Martin Guerre) (1983) "The Return of Martin Guerre successfully bucks the trend of foreign releases being unable to maintain the same level of intensity and enthusiasm crossing the ocean" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Jan 30, 2005
1.5/5 (D-) 91% Million Dollar Baby (2004) "Michael Moore occultists can find some consolation in the fact that at least some left-wing propagandist piece could walk away with a golden statuette on Oscar night" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Jan 28, 2005
4.5/5 (A-) 87% The Aviator (2004) "The Aviator resurrects the aberrant life of Howard Hughes and presents it in the grandiose, nostalgic, and mythological style that only Martin Scorsese could have achieved" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Jan 14, 2005
4/5 (B+) 56% The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004) "The Life Aquatic is without a doubt Wes Anderson's most ambitious adventure to date as few will judge the face value of the film beyond what is skimmed on the surface" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Dec 28, 2004
4.5/5 (A-) 72% Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events (2004) "What to literary zealots may seem like a series of unfortunate events might, in fact, be the first steps of whimsical and fruitful franchise" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Dec 20, 2004
2/5 (D) 52% Spanglish (2004) "Linguist complexities being the least of their problems, Spanglish's audience is in desperate need of a translator to decipher the message the film is unable to express" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Dec 17, 2004
2/5 (D) 16% Alexander (2004) "Alexander should be a shining example for future generations of intrepid writers on how not to pen an epic historical drama" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Dec 12, 2004
4/5 (B+) 56% Ocean's Twelve (2004) "Ocean's Twelve, in spite of its failure to surpass the magnificence of the original, does indeed match it based on pure entertainment value" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Dec 10, 2004
4.5/5 (A-) 63% Love Actually (2003) "Love actually is all around us - all we have to do is open our eyes and see it for ourselves" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Dec 6, 2004
4/5 (B-) 44% National Treasure (2004) "National Treasure, when all is said and done, is the equivalent of splicing together the History Channel and FX - visually engaging but a serious lack of substance" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Nov 26, 2004
2.5/5 (D+) 68% The Spongebob Squarepants Movie (2004) "It is an absolute travesty to think that the savior of traditional animation is none other then the idiotic slop known as The Spongebob Squarepants Movie" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Nov 23, 2004
4.5/5 (A-) 97% The Incredibles (2004) "The Incredibles manages to engage viewers and connect with them in such a spectacular and seamless way that it makes them - well, incredible." ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Nov 5, 2004
4/5 (B+) 81% Ray (2004) "Ray breaks away from the conventional norms, too often tied down by a burdening sense of political correctness, and drastically alters the way we look at the biography genre." ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Oct 29, 2004
4.5/5 (A) 94% Aladdin (1992) "Aladdin defied conventions and raised the bar when it came to all future animated films from that moment on, which, to this day, has yet to be lived up to." ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Oct 23, 2004
4/5 (B) 77% Team America: World Police (2004) "Whether you're a "right-wing nut job" or a liberal "wiener", you'll find something to laugh at in this film, one side more then other." ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Oct 15, 2004
2/5 (D) 81% Friday Night Lights (2004) "SI once called it the greatest sports story of all time ... you can't help but have further disrespect for the magazine after witnessing the travesty that is Friday Night Lights" ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Oct 8, 2004
3/5 (C-) 35% Shark Tale (2004) "Whether Shark Tale is a cheap attempt to cash in on the success of Finding Nemo or a lame attempt at pop culture humor, in either case it just simply doesn't work." ‐ Moose Hole
Posted Oct 4, 2004
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