Julieanne Smolinski TV Reviews & Previews - Rotten Tomatoes

Julieanne Smolinski

Julieanne Smolinski
Julieanne Smolinski's reviews only count toward the Tomatometer when published at the following Tomatometer-approved publication(s): New York Magazine/Vulture

TV Reviews Only

Rating T-Meter Title | Year Review
4/5 88% American Horror Story: Asylum - Madness Ends (TV Episode) The payoff comes in the form of spasmodic, weekly dada horror. It's Mad Libs via Hammer Horror, and therein lies the joy of it. You have to let go, and let Murphy.‐ New York Magazine/Vulture
Read More | Posted Aug 26, 2016
3/5 67% American Horror Story: Asylum - Continuum (TV Episode) This wasn't my favorite episode. It didn't go full-bore insane, and it was falling all over itself to try to get things wrapped up for the finale, which meant flashing forward, then back, then forward, then back again.‐ New York Magazine/Vulture
Read More | Posted Aug 26, 2016
4/5 94% American Horror Story: Asylum - Spilt Milk (TV Episode) I'm a feminist and in awe of woman's ability to create life and all, but if there's anything that I've learned from American Horror Story, it's that the human body is disgusting.‐ New York Magazine/Vulture
Read More | Posted Aug 26, 2016
3/5 100% American Horror Story: Asylum - The Name Game (TV Episode) I gather from Twitter that some people weren't thrilled about this episode's dancing and earthy, windy, and fiery deaths. But personally, I like a little reheated ham after Christmas.‐ New York Magazine/Vulture
Read More | Posted Aug 26, 2016
4/5 100% American Horror Story: Asylum - The Coat Hanger (TV Episode) Was it me, or was this kind of a good one?‐ New York Magazine/Vulture
Read More | Posted Aug 26, 2016
4/5 88% American Horror Story: Asylum - Unholy Night (TV Episode) After last week's relatively tame episode, we're back to the kind of snappy, rapey dialogue that makes me simultaneously want to giggle and cry.‐ New York Magazine/Vulture
Read More | Posted Aug 26, 2016
2/5 90% American Horror Story: Asylum - Dark Cousin (TV Episode) Well, I guess it can't be rainbows and colostrum every week. This episode skipped a lot of the usual camp fun in favor of some goth shenanigans and serious carnage.‐ New York Magazine/Vulture
Read More | Posted Aug 9, 2016
3/5 90% American Horror Story: Asylum - The Origins of Monstrosity (TV Episode) Thredson tells Sarah Paulson he wants her to be his new mother. ("GET IN LINE!" - everyone.) She eventually plays along to avoid being murdered, and he delivers the dialogue of the Episode/Decade: "Baby needs colostrum."‐ New York Magazine/Vulture
Read More | Posted Aug 9, 2016
3/5 100% American Horror Story: Asylum - I Am Anne Frank, Pt. 1 (TV Episode) In Briarcliff, Grace, Lana, Shelly, and Kit are back, having successfully escaped the mutants but not the asylum.‐ New York Magazine/Vulture
Read More | Posted Aug 9, 2016
4/5 90% American Horror Story: Asylum - Nor'easter (TV Episode) Crazy sister Mary Eunice is full of the devil, which jumped from the cow-killer to her during the exorcism.‐ New York Magazine/Vulture
Read More | Posted Aug 9, 2016
3/5 100% American Horror Story: Asylum - Tricks and Treats (TV Episode) We begin this episode much the way I wish every episode of every television show would begin: with Adam Levine being stabbed.‐ New York Magazine/Vulture
Read More | Posted Aug 9, 2016
4/5 100% American Horror Story: Asylum - Welcome to Briarcliff (TV Episode) Briarcliff - it sounds like one of those depressing old-people manors where you go if you're not quite totally demented but you still might burn down the house making a hot borscht. This whole season is going to be like a Marilyn Manson video.‐ New York Magazine/Vulture
Read More | Posted Aug 9, 2016
82% American Horror Story: Murder House - Afterbirth (TV Episode) Congratulations to you guys who called the fight between good and evil and the Harmons being dead and on and on.‐ New York Magazine/Vulture
Read More | Posted Aug 9, 2016
100% American Horror Story: Murder House - Birth (TV Episode) Can I be really lame for a moment and just congratulate this show on (1) being very, very fun and (2) manufacturing the perfect environment for high-profile actors to be part of a huge ensemble drama. ‐ New York Magazine/Vulture
Read More | Posted Aug 8, 2016
100% American Horror Story: Murder House - Smoldering Children (TV Episode) She's just about to place her hand against his PSYYYYYYCH!, she pulls it back, leaving him proverbially "hangin'." Ice cold, and a role model to us all.‐ New York Magazine/Vulture
Read More | Posted Aug 3, 2016
89% American Horror Story: Murder House - Spooky Little Girl (TV Episode) Big questions this week, and big answers.‐ New York Magazine/Vulture
Read More | Posted Aug 3, 2016
64% American Horror Story: Murder House - Rubber Man (TV Episode) I gotta be honest, here, guys. I wasn't wild about this episode. It posed more questions that it answered.‐ New York Magazine/Vulture
Read More | Posted Aug 2, 2016
90% American Horror Story: Murder House - Open House (TV Episode) I don't know about you guys, but I love this show as though it were the deformed attic monster I asked my disfigured boyfriend to lust-murder.‐ New York Magazine/Vulture
Read More | Posted Aug 2, 2016
88% American Horror Story: Murder House - Piggy, Piggy (TV Episode) It's a (very literal!) come-to-Jesus episode: a lot of satisfying moments and the usual gazebo-full of loose plot threads.‐ New York Magazine/Vulture
Read More | Posted Aug 31, 2016
100% American Horror Story: Murder House - Halloween (Episode 5) (TV Episode) While the second half of "Halloween" was woefully light on undead Quinto mincing, we did get a couple of nice scares.‐ New York Magazine/Vulture
Read More | Posted Aug 30, 2016
86% American Horror Story: Murder House - Halloween (TV Episode) I can't wait for the continuation of this episode, because surely we'll get more Quinto, for whose bitchy makeovers I would gladly spend many a night in the murder house. Four words, FX: undead queeny makeover spinoff. Get on it.‐ New York Magazine/Vulture
Read More | Posted Aug 30, 2016
67% American Horror Story: Murder House - Murder House (TV Episode) This episode was so much setup and backstory that we didn't really get any decent scares or jaw dropping gimp-suit-sex moments, so in the ratings system I just invented five seconds ago, I'm only going to give it 2/5 potential Jarred Baby Heads.‐ New York Magazine/Vulture
Read More | Posted Aug 30, 2016
57% American Horror Story: Murder House - Home Invasion (TV Episode) It's worth noting, in an episode that including an abortion, a graphic stabbing, an evil cupcake, and Jessica Lange seducing Vincent Gallo, that I felt most uncomfortable on behalf of the writers. Where can they possibly go from here?‐ New York Magazine/Vulture
Read More | Posted Aug 30, 2016
75% American Horror Story: Murder House - Pilot (TV Episode) Overall, the first episode of True Blood Credits: the Television Show was pretty good.‐ New York Magazine/Vulture
Read More | Posted Aug 30, 2016