Mark RamseyMovie Reviews & Previews - Rotten Tomatoes

Mark Ramsey

Mark Ramsey
Mark Ramsey's reviews (from any publication) always count toward the Tomatometer because this critic is a Tomatometer-approved critic.

Movie Reviews Only

Rating T-Meter Title | Year Review
C- 32% Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011) 'Aye,' said one scurvy swab, 'Did ye notice that Penelope is dressed like she be commanding the S.S. El Torito?' ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Jun 1, 2011
B+ 77% Thor (2011) I knew there was a planet of Frost Giants, but I always assumed the neighboring planet of Heat Misers would keep them in check. ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted May 6, 2011
D 26% Arthur (2011) Russell buys Abe Lincoln's stovepipe hat and wears it for the rest of this movie despite numerous autograph seekers requesting the guitar licks from Welcome to the Jungle. ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Apr 10, 2011
D 35% Battle: Los Angeles (2011) 'Don't fire until you see the whites of Anderson Cooper's hair!' ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Mar 14, 2011
C- 72% The Adjustment Bureau (2011) 'Help, I'm being followed by super-human salesmen in cardigans and hats!' ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Mar 5, 2011
D 20% The Rite (2011) Our hero has a vision: It's a jackass with red eyes. No, not Charlie Sheen, a different one. ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Feb 2, 2011
C- 43% The Green Hornet (2011) 3D, 4D. You can throw double-D's at The Green Hornet, and you'll still end up with C-minus. ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Feb 1, 2011
F 9% Season of the Witch (2011) This is the puffy-faced Nic Cage. The one who fights for Christ and Little Debbies and not necessarily in that order. ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Jan 9, 2011
A 96% True Grit (2010) 'Is your every utterance to be indecipherable, Marshall? Your vocalizations are less words than outhouse rumbles after overconsumption of whisky and chicken wings. Does your throat retain an unfortunate tumbleweed?' ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Jan 2, 2011
C+ 78% Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 1 (2010) 'With a name like 'Lovegood' I'm the luckiest woman with a profile on,' said Luna. 'The second-luckiest,' said Moonraker's Holly Goodhead. ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Nov 27, 2010
C 87% Unstoppable (2010) 'Yes, I've moved to the station master chapter in my career,' said Rosario Dawson. 'It's the chapter that comes right between ingenue and Law and Order.' ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Nov 14, 2010
C 58% Paranormal Activity 2 (2010) 'This camera has your eyes,' said the illegal nanny, as she placed it in a high chair and tried to feed it cheerios. ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Oct 25, 2010
B- 55% Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps (2010) Transformers alum Shia is the protege of Decepticon Megatron Douglas - who is looking rather Megatranny these days. ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Sep 27, 2010
D 52% Devil (2010) Who's the devil in the elevator? I vote for the guy who farts or the rugrat who considers the pressing of fifty buttons indistinguishable from play. ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Sep 20, 2010
B 72% Machete (2010) Check out that cast of all-stars and never-were-stars and certainly-no-longer-stars. This must be what it's like when the Sheens and the Baldwins have a barbecue. ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Sep 5, 2010
C 41% The Expendables (2010) Wow, I haven't seen this much over-the-hill action since Don Ameche and Hume Cronyn did laps in Cocoon. ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Aug 30, 2010
A- 62% Salt (2010) So Angie disguises herself as Mario Cantone for whom the White House evidently has an open door policy. 'Some White Houses are more Chris Noth, others are more Mario Cantone,' explained the helpful White House gate guard as he ushered the Salahis and thei ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Jul 26, 2010
D 64% Predators (2010) 'What planet is this?' asked Adrien. 'Wherever it is, my iPhone 4 keeps dropping calls,' said Danny Trejo. ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Jul 17, 2010
B- 49% The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010) 'If I'm going to marry someone who's dead, at least he should have a job,' says Bella. 'Although,' Bella's friend reminded her, 'who wouldn't prefer a dead boyfriend to one you wish was dead?' ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Jul 6, 2010
C 52% Knight & Day (2010) Cameron Diaz has turned to PIXAR to create the perfect CGI manifestation of a face. 'It has been a long time since the sight of me has evoked both Buzz and Woody,' explained Cameron. ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Jun 30, 2010
D 36% Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (2010) 'It is said some lives are linked across time%u2026.' begins the ponderous narration. And it is said that some movies should only be seen on TNT and with Noah Wyle in the starring role. ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Jun 11, 2010
B 43% Robin Hood (2010) 'In this version of the tale,' said Ridley Scott, 'Robin Hood fires a desk telephone at a bullseye from 100 yards and hits it square on.' ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted May 16, 2010
D 15% A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) This is what happens when Gossip Girl has a character with a blemish problem and a stripe-savvy fashion sense ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted May 2, 2010
F 18% The Back-up Plan (2010) 'At this point the only guy who wants to approach your hoo-haa is one wearing rubber gloves with antiseptic tongs,' said Robert Klein. ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Apr 25, 2010
B 28% Clash of the Titans (2010) 'Regard yonder Medusa! She has the body of a snake and the breasts of a centerfold!' ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Apr 5, 2010
A 68% Shutter Island (2010) 'I don't know who #67 is,' said Leo, 'but more than one Sports Illustrated cover model has closed my case-file on #69.' ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Feb 21, 2010
C 34% The Wolfman (2010) I don"t know whether to scream or to drop a fun-size 3 Musketeers into Benicio's pillow case. ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Feb 13, 2010
C- 19% Legion (2010) Every time an M16 with teflon-coated bullets fires, an angel gets his wings. ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Jan 25, 2010
C 48% The Book of Eli (2010) 'And God said 'let there be light between a man's head and his shoulders,' said Denzel, as he carved through one bad guy after another. ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Jan 10, 2010
C- 38% Nine (2009) Dame Judi Dench singing with a boa on top of a piano? Said director Rob Marshall, 'Judi's is the oldest bust ever to be on a piano that didn't belong to a composer.' ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Dec 26, 2009
D 70% Sherlock Holmes (2009) Something tells me the only good deduction likely to come from this Sherlock Holmes is a tax deduction for Warner Bros. ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Dec 22, 2009
C 57% It's Complicated (2009) I was trying to find the running time on this movie when I realized it rounds to "forever." ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Dec 21, 2009
B 83% Avatar (2009) It's an element called "unobtainium" that the military is really after. That's "unobtainium," not "easy-to-obtainium," so perhaps the military should settle for something really easy, like "Kardashium" or "Real-Housewives-of-Orange-Countium." ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Dec 14, 2009
A 91% Up in the Air (2009) George Clooney knows all the travel secrets, all right. And not just the ones he uses to bypass every woman's homeland security. ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Dec 12, 2009
C 31% The Lovely Bones (2009) I'd prefer bones based on a graphic novel - or Jerry Bruckheimer bones starring Johnny Depp. ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Dec 12, 2009
C 28% The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009) 'Dogs, miserable life would be so much less complicated if I were ugly or maybe French,' exclaims Bella.‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Nov 24, 2009
F 39% 2012 (2009) It's great to see Fred Astaire, er, Danny Glover back in the saddle as the President of the United States. It's the first time America elected a President whose campaign slogan was 'I'm too old for this s**t.'‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Nov 17, 2009
B- 54% Disney's A Christmas Carol (2009) 'My next project is to motion capture some hair and comb it over my 3D scalp,' said Zemeckis. ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Nov 8, 2009
D 43% Jennifer's Body (2009) See Mahmoud Ahmadinejad reviewing Jennifer's Body ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Oct 5, 2009
B- 89% Zombieland (2009) 'I haven't worked opposite zombies since Courtney Love in The People vs. Larry Flynt,' said Harrelson. ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Oct 5, 2009
D 22% Sorority Row (2009) In a generation, Carrie Fisher has moved from Jabba the Hut to a job at the Pizza Hut - with plenty of extra cheese. ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Sep 14, 2009
A 90% District 9 (2009) District 9 is a cautionary tale about man's inhumanity to aliens, especially those aliens who are high in cholesterol. ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Aug 15, 2009
F 35% G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009) Down the elevator goes into the desert sands - a man-made lake at this level, a working reconstruction of the Bush years at the next level, Kim Kardashian's closet at the level past that.‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Aug 10, 2009
D 55% Orphan (2009) It's based on the scene that plays out every day in the checkout line at Walmart. ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Jul 26, 2009
B+ 84% Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009) "Hermione and me?" said Ron Weasley. "I was shocked that the trajectory of this story actually made us the unlikeliest couple since the leopard who nursed a baby baboon." ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Jul 20, 2009
B- 68% Public Enemies (2009) It was tough to get caught in those days. These FBI guys couldn't catch an STD from Brett Michaels. ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Jul 5, 2009
D 19% Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) If you're going to send me a hero, I always say make it one with a built-in cup-holder, Michelins as hip-bling, and car doors for wings! ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Jun 28, 2009
B- 92% Drag Me to Hell (2009) 'You have staples in your head!' Alison screams at her. 'All the better to collate my thoughts!' sneers the old crone. ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted Jun 8, 2009
B- 33% Terminator Salvation (2009) Bale is a leader of the resistance fighters, who are mostly resistant to ugliness, facial blemishes, a few extra pounds, roomy flight suits, and old age. ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted May 25, 2009
A+ 95% Star Trek (2009) The average Star Trek fan is fatter than a Mugatu. And I mean the kind of Mugatu that just ate a family of Mugatus. Hey, fella, is that your mouth or the Doomsday Machine? ‐ MovieJuice!
Posted May 3, 2009