John Townsend
John Townsend's reviews only count toward the Tomatometer® when published at the following Tomatometer-approved publication(s):
Slant Magazine
Starburst
Movies reviews only
| Rating | T-Meter | Title | Year | Review |
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The Outwaters (2022) |
And, as with all bad found footage films, the camera is barely justified. The opening tedium does at least warrant its usage, adding credence to the setup. In the near hour of jumbled carnage that ensues, there’s just no reason for anyone to keep filming. - Starburst
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| Posted Mar 01, 2023
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The Pale Blue Eye (2022) |
Bale does what Bale does, inhabiting a brooding, secretive character similar to many he has played in the past, while Melling’s Poe is superb, flirting with camp caricature yet remaining nuanced and unpredictable. - Starburst
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| Posted Mar 01, 2023
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The Legend of Hawes (2022) |
Perez has made a film that feels both underdone and tediously long, with the bland central characters delivering languid sections of heartfelt exposition... - Starburst
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| Posted Nov 08, 2022
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Ravening Woods (2022) |
Odd tonal shifts and erratic plotting lead to a confused narrative that only comes to life when the creature emerges from the undergrowth. - Starburst
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| Posted Oct 04, 2022
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Sissy (2022) |
Witty and occasionally surprising Sissy is a fun take on the slasher genre that has something to say about our reliance on social media, even if that message is slightly muddled... - Starburst
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| Posted Sep 26, 2022
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Saloum (2021) |
Herbulot’s film adheres to certain Western tropes yet is its own thing; a potent, stylishly thrilling concoction that expertly combines its many parts into something truly impressive. - Starburst
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| Posted Sep 13, 2022
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House of Darkness (2022) |
LeBute’s film struggles to maintain its early promise and despite the welcome goriness of the finale, the story plays out with very few surprises. - Starburst
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| Posted Sep 06, 2022
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Maneater (2022) |
In the crowded waters of the shark subgenre there is little room for entries lacking genuine thrills, or at the very least, a half-decent fishy antagonist. Maneater contains neither and as such is barely worthy of note. - Starburst
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| Posted Sep 01, 2022
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Who Invited Them (2022) |
Who Invited Them? would have benefitted from a little more breathing room than its 80-minute runtime allows, but this is an accomplished film with entertaining, if predictable plot twists. - Starburst
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| Posted Aug 29, 2022
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The Last Son (2021) |
Tim Sutton has taken Greg Johnson’s simple, yet interesting premise and produced a slow-burning, grim and gritty film that barely scratches the surface of its potential. - Starburst
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| Posted Aug 09, 2022
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What Josiah Saw (2021) |
While perhaps requiring a tighter edit, What Josiah Saw is nevertheless an effectively unsettling, often uncomfortable watch, and the tense, shocking finale will linger long after the film is over. - Starburst
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| Posted Aug 04, 2022
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Infrared (2022) |
Infrared is a middling entry into an already overcrowded genre that, despite a couple of good moments, you’ll likely have forgotten about in no time. [Full review in Spanish] - Starburst
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| Posted Aug 01, 2022
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The Reef: Stalked (2022) |
The Reef is one of the better shark films of recent years and with Stalked Traucki proves again he understands how to build tension. - Starburst
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| Posted Jul 25, 2022
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The Sea Beast (2022) |
Overlong, with a running time touching two hours, and a narrative you could have written from viewing the trailer, The Sea Beast has its flaws. And yet you are immersed in a world so vibrant and beautiful that you forgive those indiscretions. - Starburst
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| Posted Jul 12, 2022
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The Pond (2020) |
The film itself is a puzzle, a cacophony of visual clues and imagery that never truly connect, and which ultimately leaves you as cold as the bleak landscape in which The Pond exists. - Starburst
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| Posted Jul 07, 2022
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H.P. Lovecraft's Witch House (2021) |
Easley takes every opportunity to show and linger on female flesh. It feels seedy, and you sense Lovecraft would be unlikely to approve. - Starburst
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| Posted Jul 06, 2022
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9 Bullets (2022) |
Headey tries her best to smoulder and smirk à la Cersei Lannister, but her efforts become lost in this derivative and dull thriller. - Starburst
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| Posted Jun 17, 2022
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Children of Sin (2022) |
Ultimately, Children of Sin feels more misguided than malicious. And - Starburst
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| Posted May 02, 2022
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Reign of Chaos (2022) |
Ambition is high and quality low in Rebecca Matthews' sci-fi actioner Reign of Chaos, a film that could have been a tight 30-minute short -- perhaps even shorter -- but instead is a flabby concoction of random exposition and awkwardness. - Starburst
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| Posted Apr 15, 2022
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The Contractor (2022) |
While The Contractor never quite reaches the heights it aspires to, the performances make it one of the better action thrillers of recent years. - Starburst
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| Posted Mar 30, 2022
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Chopper (2000) |
Chopper is an intriguing film, one that challenges the viewer through unpredictable, often excessive violence set against a palate of folksiness and sporadic black humour. - Starburst
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| Posted Mar 29, 2022
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The Adam Project (2022) |
If you can’t get on board with The Adam Project there is something missing in your soul. Perhaps time travel could help? - Starburst
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| Posted Mar 16, 2022
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No Exit (2022) |
Latterly, however, as the violence and gore take unjustifiable precedence, the filmmakers find themselves unable to stem the flow, instead creating bloody set-piece after bloody set-piece, most of which you’ve seen before. - Starburst
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| Posted Mar 16, 2022
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Zeros and Ones (2021) |
Zeros and Ones is a film unlikely to attract new fans. Often dimly lit, and with what appears to be a script under constant development, not everything works. - Starburst
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| Posted Feb 12, 2022
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The Accursed (2021) |
The Accursed is an impressive, at times unsettling watch, but lacks any moments of real terror to elevate it into something memorable. - Starburst
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| Posted Feb 12, 2022
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The Requin (2022) |
Sadly, with the scary fish reduced to cameo roles, the primary reason you’re watching is absent for long periods. But if Alicia Silverstone gazing forlornly through CGI smoke and screaming a lot is your thing, then From Below is for you. - Starburst
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| Posted Feb 04, 2022
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The Mangler (1995) |
The Mangler is largely a dull, soulless and dated viewing experience. - Starburst
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| Posted Jan 28, 2022
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The Midnight Swim (2014) |
There's nothing dramatic here, no realisation of hidden horrors, just a slow, tangible tension that is disquieting if not exactly frightening. - Starburst
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| Posted Jan 28, 2022
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The Wasteland (2021) |
The Wasteland is an impressive film, horrifically beautiful at times. But there is a sense of missed opportunity, as initial themes are abandoned in favour of portraying survival amidst a home invasion. - Starburst
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| Posted Jan 22, 2022
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The Ghosts of Borley Rectory (2021) |
From the outset, there is a docudrama feel to proceedings, as if what you're viewing is really a re-enactment for some obscure digital history channel, with the dialogue awkward and the direction static and uninspiring. - Starburst
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| Posted Dec 13, 2021
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15 Things You Didn't Know About Bigfoot (Number 1 Will Blow Your Mind!) (2019) |
A faux-documentary comedy/horror that is neither funny nor scary enough. - Starburst
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| Posted Nov 29, 2021
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Antlers (2021) |
More than with [Scott Cooper's] previous films, the internal struggle is given form and does not disappoint. - Starburst
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| Posted Nov 02, 2021
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Demonic (2021) |
Demonic feels nervous, restrained somehow as if from a first-time filmmaker uncertain of his craft. The script, cast, and direction are all cautiously flat, rendering the final result blandly forgettable. - Starburst
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| Posted Sep 15, 2021
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Midnight in the Switchgrass (2021) |
Everything from the direction to the plot to the tragically unsatisfactory finale is all blandly mediocre. - Starburst
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| Posted Aug 20, 2021
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The Head Hunter (2018) |
There were clearly budgetary battles, but Downey and his team have brought this world to life, however unpleasant and unforgiving that world may be. - Starburst
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| Posted Jun 28, 2021
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Wrong Turn (2021) |
This is a good horror film, a worthy Friday night fright, and a considerable improvement on what's gone before. - Starburst
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| Posted Feb 26, 2021
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Alone (2020) |
Easy to imagine that upon conception was an intelligent, thoughtful horror-thriller.... Whether during the development process or through production that movie became lost, hidden behind clichéd melodrama, leaving only remnants of what could have been. - Starburst
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| Posted Feb 18, 2021
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Anything for Jackson (2020) |
The direction is unsettling simple, Tarantino-like at times, drawing your eye toward hidden corners of the darkly lit screen. - Starburst
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| Posted Dec 11, 2020
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Late Phases (2014) |
Late Phases is a decent, occasionally interesting film, but in a crowded subgenre it sadly won't live long in the memory. - Starburst
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| Posted Nov 20, 2020
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Dog Soldiers (2002) |
Unflinchingly brutal and unrelentingly entertaining. - Starburst
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| Posted Oct 26, 2020
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The Appearance (2018) |
Tthere was a decent film here, a steady idea that could and should have worked but the end result is a clichéd example of why less-is-more, when stretching your basic story out through laboriously dull scenes. - Starburst
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| Posted Dec 03, 2019
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The Quake (2018) |
As a disaster movie, The Quake does everything you need and expect with considerably less fuss than many of its genre stablemates. - Starburst
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| Posted Mar 11, 2019
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Krampus Origins (2018) |
Apart from Dougherty's film, Krampus has been used woefully as producers and directors seek to cash in on anything remotely seasonal. Perhaps it's time to leave this particular character alone. - Starburst
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| Posted Nov 27, 2018
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Death Kiss (1977) |
Lacking in depth and as fleetingly forgettable as it is formulaically flawed, Perez's film does exactly what it sets out to do without pushing any genre boundaries. - Starburst
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| Posted Oct 22, 2018
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House of Salem (2016) |
With House Of Salem Crow has relied on some of the basic principles of horror and produced a film that achieves what it sets out to do. - Starburst
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| Posted Oct 08, 2018
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The Grand Son (2018) |
Teases its audience with deeper, darker subtext without ever truly following through. - Starburst
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| Posted Sep 04, 2018
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The Dawnseeker (2018) |
As admirably ambitious as The Dawnseeker may be, the resulting film is a confused, elongated short with awkwardly poor effects. - Eye for Film
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| Posted Aug 28, 2018
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Acts of Vengeance (2017) |
Borrowing from all manner of similar films and television shows, Acts Of Vengeance fails to blend these elements into a cohesive narrative. - Starburst
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| Posted May 15, 2018
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Jigsaw (2017) |
While largely one for fans of the franchise there is more than enough here to appease genre fans of all opinion. - Starburst
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| Posted Feb 15, 2018
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Vampariah (2016) |
Sadly, the flaws weigh too heavily on the film's efforts and sadly render Vampariah simply too messy for the casual viewer. - Starburst
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| Posted Dec 30, 2017
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