LAST KNOWN WHEREABOUTS: The Men Who Stare at Goats (2009), alias George Clooney.
HISTORY: Recruited for an ultra-secret military intelligence unit specializing in parapsychological skills, specifically for his telekinetic powers. Stopped a goat's heart with just his mind, and old Hollywood good looks.
STATUS: DISAVOWED. Last seen high on LSD and ascending into the sky with New Earth Army leader Bill Django in a purloined helicopter.
THREAT ASSESSMENT: High if you're a goat with a weak heart. Harmless otherwise, except maybe to himself.