Quaint New England getaway. Cozy lived-in atmosphere: you'll swear past tenants still living with you. Hilltop home provides gorgeous view of the surrounding valley, with interior design versatile enough for both rustic country amenities and abstract contemporary art. Perfect for parties and entertaining guests, both living and undead. We're also happy to announce that the property's pesky insect problem has been eradicated completely!
-Spontaneous calypso dance parties.
-Portal to the sandy plains of Saturn.
-Modern conveniences installed. Clap hands twice to turn off bedroom lights. Say "Beetlegeuse" three times to summon zombie horndog emcee.