100,000,000 B.C. (2008)





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Science Fiction & Fantasy
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[font=Garamond][size=5]There was a previous movie starring then-hottie Raquel Welch called One Million Years B.C., but Director Griff Furst (his real name) could not be satisfied with a simple million, what with inflation and all. In 100-Million B.C. (I get tired of all the zeroes), time-travelers go so far back in the past that they cross the believable-barrier.[/size][/font] [font=Garamond][size=5] [/size][/font] [font=Garamond][size=5]The premise is - shortly after World War II, a prodigy-science-kid invents a way to travel through time, and sends a group – including his older brother – back in time. Way back. Way, waaaaaaay back.[/size][/font] [font=Garamond][size=5] [/size][/font] [font=Garamond][size=5]Oops! Equipment trouble, and they can’t return. So, the prodigy-science-kid spends the next 60 years refining his invention to rescue his brother. A crack team of Navy Seals enters the machine and shoots back to find the previous party – who haven’t aged a bit.[/size][/font] [font=Garamond][size=5] [/size][/font] [font=Garamond][size=5]In fact, the only thing about the WWII vets that ages is their clothing, and not in terms of wear. The wartime duds have somehow transformed into spaghetti-strap blouses (on the women) and other non-military wear, that have held up amazingly, despite having been worn EVERY DAY OF EVERY YEAR since the failed experiment sent them back. I won’t even mention the difference in women’s undergarments when comparing today with WWII, the stuff YOUR GRANDMOTHER WORE! Think about it. Thongs? That’s what your grandmother wore on her feet. You know, flip-flops. That’s right.[/size][/font] [font=Garamond][size=5] [/size][/font] [font=Garamond][size=5]It never ceases to amaze me how much money can be thrown into a movie. I always wonder, watching movies like these, if the people involved believed they were creating high entertainment.[/size][/font] [font=Garamond][size=5] [/size][/font] [font=Garamond][size=5]100,000,000 B.C. is fun, even only for the slow-mo chuckles. It’s a laugh to watch the little computer-generated cave-people perform 30-foot vertical leaps to get to safety. (Did they think we wouldn’t notice?) And when the two women jump out of the hovering helicopter, couldn’t they find some pillows or mattresses and film a real jump? Even if it was only a couple of feet? The little computer-characters look so much like Mario Bros. effects, you half expect to see a running game score total in the corner of the screen.[/size][/font] [font=Garamond][size=5] [/size][/font] [font=Garamond][size=5]It is nice that there is work for Christopher Atkins (Blue Lagoon 1980) and Michael Gross (television’s dad to Michael J. Fox on Family Ties), and a training ground for special effects creators. The big dinosaurs are actually pretty well articulated. It’s just the little details that seemed to have slipped.[/size][/font] [font=Garamond][size=5] [/size][/font] [font=Garamond][size=5]It may be in the year’s Top-10.[/size][/font] [font=Garamond][size=5] [/size][/font] [font=Garamond][size=5](Movies to freeze-frame and slow-motion.)[/size][/font]

Larry Hoefling
Larry Hoefling

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