Bitch Slap - Movie Reviews - Rotten Tomatoes

Bitch Slap Reviews

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Super Reviewer
½ June 13, 2016
Do you like gratuitous violence, tits 'n' ass? course you do, who doesn't. Well what better way to show off some blatant soft porn than in a low-rent, Tarantino/Robert Rodriquez-esque rip-off or clone...but minus the decent acting, effects and everything else. I mean look at that title, it speaks volumes about what your about to head into, you literally can't fail to understand what you should expect from something called this. And its those exact reasons why I decided to watch this movie...translation, sleaze fest...because who doesn't like a good sleaze fest now and then? Oh wait I already covered that angle.

The plot is actually a slight mix of a few genres for starters. Obviously there is the outrageous, CGI filled, guns 'n' gore side of it which is clearly taking cues from certain Rodriguez movies. But then there is a slightly more noir-ish side to the tale, at times, its not a constant theme but its there. Then you have this clear comicbook-esque vibe about it, obviously more along the lines of 'Kick-Ass' and more so 'Sin City', there are also small nuggets of [i]Bond[/i] spoofing going on at times, and finally you that rather obvious grindhouse type quality about everything. So nothing of any originality to be found here lets be honest, although again, if we're honest, this did actually come out back in 2009 so I guess this may have been more original than I'm giving it credit for.

The story is told with constant flashbacks to previous incidents that slowly build a full picture (gee I wonder where they got that notion from). I guess this could work if the flashbacks were any more coherent that the main plot segments but alas they're not. In fact they don't really add that much to the backstory at all really, they don't exactly clear up any plot holes...but tend to add more if anything! All they seem to do is give the director an opportunity to add in more gratuitous soft porn scenes involving his main female protagonists in different seedy locations, in very tight latex/scantily clad outfits (I'm not overly complaining about that though). You see all of the main plot is based out in the desert, all of the flashbacks are set in gritty, seedy, neon lit bars or alleyways in some city, so they just add seedy tits 'n' ass in a different location.

The main story is basically a common as muck tale about these three women trying to locate some buried valuable items (not totally sure what actually) in the desert. The valuable items are of course property of some mega violent criminal mobster, who we only in name for the most part, and the three women are of course not entirely who they appear to be. Yep its the old ulterior motive type situation again, with the old twists, turns and back-stabbings that come along with it. The three protagonists are naturally very hot, very sexy, very firm and very delicious. One is an innocent, slightly submissive, weak, brunette stripper. The other is a tough, martial arts knowing, slightly ripped, very suspicious, dirty blonde, mouthy bitch. Finally, the leader is more of a calm, level-headed, stylish, classy red head who is definitely modelled after the classic, black and white noir detective flicks of the 50's.

These three pretty much bicker and fight each other for the entire runtime as they try to locate this buried treasure. Every now and then you get the odd character turning up to attempt some level of suspense such as the cute young police officer who amazingly doesn't get fucked and used, even though you'd bet your last Dollar on it. What we do get is lots of close-ups on the girls faces showing their expressions (for some reason), lots of gunplay and gun sounds, lots of desert, lots of girly sexual innuendos, plenty of lesbian action (and I mean plenty), and a shittonne of tacky CGI and ultra tacky greenscreen effects. Hell we even get a full on wet t-shirt type sequence where all three women throw water over themselves in slow motion. And what Tarantino/Rodriquez rip-off/clone would be complete without a cute psychotic Asian woman in a micro miniskirt, pigtails and a unique deadly weapon in the form of a razor bladed yo-yo (she also has a very crazy Mad Max-esque partner). Oh and not forgetting the fact they even manage to crowbar in a gratuitous, nun in hot black PVC underwear, sequence too, you know...because its a top rated fetish with pervs (absolutely nothing wrong with that of course, he says with a broad grin across his naughty face).

Lets be frank here (you can be Bob), as I said at the start we all know what we're getting into with a movie like this. You can see it on the cover, you can see it with the films title, you know what to expect and naturally you get plenty of it. The movie isn't pretending to be anything else, its set out its stall and its sticking to it, and with that I can't fault it really. not on that front. The movie wanted to be a sleazy, grindhouse type flick with bucketfuls of hokey, cartoonish CGI action sequences...and that's exactly what is it, at no point does the film hide from this. So all I can say is, if you enjoyed movies like 'Machete' then firstly you'll know where I'm coming from. Secondly, you'll probably enjoy this as its basically a lower budget version with (probably) more tits 'n' ass.
March 6, 2016
This looks so bad it's kind of making me want to see it.
Super Reviewer
½ November 3, 2015
A trashy, over-the-top and deliciously sly exploitation flick that comes up as a bitch slap indeed, with three sexy big-breasted chicks kicking asses and firing huge guns in a stylish comic book universe and a clever narrative full of fun twists.
August 7, 2015
Three girls, a down-and-out stripper named Trixie (Julia Voth), a drug-running killer and ex-convict named Camero (America Olivo), and a corporate powerbroker nicknamed Hel (Erin Cummings), arrive at a remote desert hideaway to extort massive riches from a ruthless sword-wielding killer named Pinky, who is also a notorious underworld figure. None of the three women is who they appear to be: each has an ulterior motive. They have kidnapped a gangster called Gage (Michael Hurst) and try to force him to reveal where the treasure is buried. He refuses, believing they will kill him anyway, but Hel promises he will not be harmed. Camero shoots him, against the wishes of Hel, saying she made no such promise. His phone rings, and they believe Gage is connected to Pinky. Things become more complicated when a police officer named Deputy Fuchs arrives. Unknown to them, he was in the audience five nights ago when Trixie performed as a stripper to seduce Gage. However, the three women have hidden the body and are able to convince Fuchs to leave. Eventually truths are revealed, ulterior motives are exposed and hidden identities unmasked. Nothing is quite what it seems as the fate is balanced among this trio of sexy femmes fatales...

This so called exploitation film is described as "a post-modern, thinking man's throwback to the 'B' Movie/Exploitation films of the 1950s-70s as well as a loving, sly parody of the same." The film claims to be is inspired by the Dragstrip Girl, Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!, Kung Fu Nun, the pantheon of blaxploitation and other exploitation films which had a renewal in popularity after the cult success of Grindhouse in 2007. In Variety, Joe Leydon wrote "Overblown and underwhelming, 'Bitch Slap' is a desperately unfunny attempt to satirically recycle cliches and archetypes from sexploitation actioners of the 1960s and '70s". Amy Biancolli of the San Francisco Chronicle wrote "The idea is to amuse anyone who's not offended by all the over-baked violence, bad acting and slapping babeage, but it's so heavy-handed and hyper-stylized that any extant wit gets smacked into submission. The attempt to be a tongue in cheek exploitation flick with campy dialogue, cat fights, massive violence, lesbianism, exposed skin, big breasted anti-heroes and the novelty act of obvious green screen studio settings fails in my book. I think that they have really tried hard to be dodgy and B-movie like, but compared to let´s say Robert Rodriguez "Machete" this production and director just don´t have the skills to make something like "Machete" which handled the genre in a much better way. There´s tiny hints of something in the right direction, but that´s pretty much it. If Robert Rodriguez would´ve made "Bitch Slap" or Quentin Tarantino it would´ve been a different and a more functional piece of film within the genre for sure. I will not lie, I did like Julia Voth as she has a quite radiant appearance and she is drop dead gorgeous to put it mildly. I did as well like Minae Noji as the over the top Kinki. There´s something intriguing about her. However, I would rather suggest you to see the classic Russ Meyer movie "Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!" than "Bitch Slap".
½ August 5, 2015
This movie is a tad ott lol.
Super Reviewer
January 11, 2015
Une histoire simple, de la bagarre, des fusils, mais surtout des dà (C)colletà (C)s et des trips de lesbiennes.

J'aime bien les moments de retour en arrière progressif. Cependant parfois difficile à suivre.
November 5, 2014
I read the first three names, recognized them and immediately wanted to see this. Oh and the hot chicks on the poster toting guns along with the title of the movie also helped with my decision. I need to see this as soon as possible.
½ July 20, 2014
retarded but nice to look at
½ December 29, 2013
Chick flick a la Russ Meyer. I'm looking forward to the sequel!
October 10, 2013
It looks totally stupid, but it seems to take it and run with it. To me, this film is an "either/or": either it's going to be really good, or it's going to really suck.
October 5, 2013
Delle Charlie's Angeles violente legate ad un film paranoico e distruttivo. Spero che almeno il cast si sia divertito, perchè penso che il pubblico NO
August 31, 2013
Guilty pleasure :)

its great tobe watched only by guys :)
July 5, 2013
Sexy and catchy to eyes of a man... Seeing bitches holding guns and hooking themselves... Truly a sweet mess... A Bitchy Clap from me!!! =)
June 29, 2013
It was hard to watch.
Super Reviewer
½ June 19, 2013
Bitch Slap is about three bad girls that travel to a remote desert hideaway to steal $200 million in diamonds from a ruthless underworld kingpin. We immediately head into trouble when the opening credits show clips from other movies. Apparently because the footage in "Bitch Slap" is so ineptly filmed in all possible areas it became unusable. Then we get our first glimpse at Erin Cummings chest than see her face. I actually send an email to the director for the reasoning behind this odd first glimpse at one of our leading ladies and he responded with "Boobs. Boobs. Boooobs.". He does the same introduction for the other actresses. Don't get me wrong the leading actresses are all attractive, but only to the eyes. The first time we are introduced to them were not given enough context to justify their first onscreen killing who they beat up and torture within minutes. A bad introduction and first impressions for our protagonists.

The plot is intentionally trashy so one can't really hold too much against it for horrendous storytelling. The narrative structure is a complete mess. We get flashbacks to what occurred four hours ago, then later to four hours and three minutes ago, then goes back to six hours ago, and so forth several times creating pacing issues. As for development it doesn't get any better as the character development given is preposterous or become actual plot points. For example, a woman telling her friends about her best one night stand becomes a revelation in the final act. Each of our three protagonist is given a one dimensional trait of the good one, the smart one, and the loose cannon. Very original and you can predict how it plays out. It has a thing for dick jokes, sexual innuendo, and pointless scenes. One including a lesbian sex scene which yes I consider a negative. Then there is also an odd scene after a revelation of a protagonist being a secret agent. She's in a icy mountain and flies away from a avalanche without a jet-pack or any visible flying gadget. So I emailed the director and asked him for an explanation. According to him, "There was a deleted scene where we showed said actress shoving a jet-pack up her... and hey you're not movie producer lyer". That's evidently where the conversation ended.

The ending itself is pretentious giving a quote about deceiving the enemy to fool you that it has some intelligence. As for the direction of the film it's bad. The only actual set the budget seemed to afford is a desert, a trailer, and a military bunker. Everytime we go into a flashback there is always a poorly done blue or green screen effect making up the background. The lead actresses can't act, but the film tries it best to distract you from that by having them always wear revealing clothing at all time. I would count this as a negative, but the intention of it was to be trashy. The action scene are also tiresome. They are either too long or have too much noticeably fake CG to be exciting. As for anything else? Well the soundtrack is awful and the closing credit just contains a strip tease. Not exactly what I expected from a film entirely aimed towards males, but then again it directed by Rick Jacobson who has no idea how to tell film a movie for any audience.

Bitch Slap is a intentionally trashy film. It has good looking actresses kicking ass, but without any substance or competent direction in any second of the film to make up for it negatives quality. It's a trashy film devoid of art and any quality of good filmmaking.
½ April 27, 2013
complete nightmare... nothing really to watch.. some kinda half-porno movie...
April 20, 2013
Dieser Film ist sowas von scheisse und trashig, dass ich fast nonstop lachen musste. Sehr sehenswert, wenn man ohne Erwartungen an Story oder sonstwas an die Sache geht.
April 3, 2013
One of those awful movies you cant stop watching
February 8, 2013
Pseudo-Tarantiniano omaggio al vecchio filone cinematografico dell'exploitation da parte dell'autore di Baywatch, che ha tra i pochi meriti quello di riunire sullo schermo dopo anni Kevin Sorbo e Lucy Lawless (ogni nerd o geek girl che si rispetti SA di chi sto parlando...) e le coreografie dei combattimenti di Zoe Bell (controfigura e sosia di America Olivo, una delle tre bambolone protagoniste. Tettone, lesbo-soft (ma talmente soft che non si vede proprio nulla..) ed ultraviolenza da fumetto a go-go. Un B-movie alla Machete che cerca di omaggiare Russ Meyer, ma che non centra il bersaglio. Se spegnete il cervello, vi piacciono le "boobs" e vi trincate una birretta durante la visione, potete anche divertirvi ed aggiungere una stella al voto finale come ho fatto io :).
January 22, 2013
most people gave it a bad rating but ill watch it for the babes
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