The Mask - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

The Mask Quotes

  • The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: Look mom, I'm roadkill. Ha Ha!!!
    The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: Look mom, I'm roadkill. Ha Ha!


  • Lt. Mitch Kellaway: Freeze! (the mask literally freezes) Put your hands up.
    Lt. Mitch Kellaway: Put your hands up.
    The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: (without moving his mouth) But you told me to freeze.
    The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: But you told me to freeze.


  • The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: Did you miss me? (He drinks and goes through is holes.) I guess not!
    The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: Did you miss me? [he drinks and goes through is holes] I guess not!


  • Peggy Brandt: Do you know how hard it is to find a decent man in this town? Most of them think monogamy is some kind of wood.


  • The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: (after smashing a cartoonish alarm clock with a giant mallet) SNOOZE!
    The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: [after smashing a cartoonish alarm clock with a giant mallet] SNOOZE!


  • The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: Look at that! It's exactly three seconds before I honk your nose and pull your underwear over your head.


  • The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: It's party time! p-a-r-t---y? Because I gotta!


  • The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: Somebody stop me!


  • The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: [after turning himself into Elvis Presley]... Thank you very much!


  • The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: No. It wasn't me. It was the one-armed man.


  • The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: "You were good, kid, real good. But as long as I'm around, you'll always be second best, see?"
    The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: You were good, kid, real good. But as long as I'm around, you'll always be second best, see?


  • The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: "THAT'S A SPICY MEATBALL!"
    The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: THAT'S A SPICY MEATBALL!


  • The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: "Did you miss me? [Takes a drink, and the liquid pours out through holes in his body] I GUESS NOT!"
    The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: Did you miss me? [Takes a drink, and the liquid pours out through holes in his body] I GUESS NOT!


  • The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: Tell Auntie Em to let Old Yeller Out. Tell Tiny Tim I won't be coming home this Christmas. Tell Scarlett I do give a damn.


  • Dorian Tyrel: Better than ever, you idiot!


  • Tina Carlyle: The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: All right, this is the moment where a man shows what he's truly made of. (gun cocks next to his head) Crap.
    The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: All right, this is the moment where a man shows what he's truly made of. [gun cocks next to his head] Crap.


  • The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: S-s-s-s-s-s-mokin'!!!!!!
    The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: S-s-s-s-s-s-mokin'!


  • The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: Hold on to you lug nuts it's time for an overhaul!


  • Charlie Schumacher: No, I don't smoke, but for you? I'd shoot the Surgeon General!


  • Police Officer: ...bazooka?
    Police Officer: Bazooka?
    The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: I have a permit for that...


  • Doyle: Picture of Kellaway's wife.
    Lt. Mitch Kellaway: What? [beat] Margaret! You son of a bitch!
    The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: Jeez! I figured you had a sense of humor, after all...you married her!


  • The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: It's a power tie. It's supposed to make you feel powerful.
    Tina Carlyle: Does it work? [while giving a seductive look]
    The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: [knowing it doesn't work, tries changing the subject] Now, uh, h-how about that account? We have several different plans... [nervously jams a pen in the pencil sharpener, making a loud grinding noise] Savings, checking, savings and checking, CDs, savings and CDs, checking and CDs, savings, checking, and CDs, T-bills, or we can just take all your money and throw it in a big mattress back there. [both laugh]


  • Dorian Tyrel: I'm just an ex-employee! Who's looking for his backpay, or should I say payback?!


  • Tina Carlyle: The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: It's party time! P-A-R-T. Why? Because I gotta!
    The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: It's party time! P-A-R-T. Why? Because I gotta!


  • The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: Tell Tiny Tim I won't be coming home tonight!
    The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: Tell Tiny Tim I won't be coming home this Christmas. [cough, cough]


  • The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: Look Ma, I'm roadkill! Ha Ha Ha!
    The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: Look ma, I'm roadkill! Ha ha ha!


  • Alley Punk #1: Hey Mister! You got the time?
    The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: As a matter of fact, I do, Cubby. (holds up a ticking clock) Look at that! It's approximately two seconds before I honk your nose and pull your underwear over your head.


  • Lt. Mitch Kellaway: Somebody stole your pyjamas ?
    Tina Carlyle: Somebody STOLE your pajamas?
    The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: i mean what is this world coming to when a man's ... pyjama drawer is no longer safe?
    The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: [seeing Milo jump at the closet door where the stolen money is] Milo, no! I mean, uh, what is this world coming to when a man's... pajama drawer is no longer safe?
    The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: [seeing Milo jump at the closet door where the stolen money is] Milo, no! I mean, uh, what is this world coming to when a man's... pajama drawer, is no longer safe?


  • Peggy Brandt: Do you know how hard it is to find a decent man in this town? Most of them think monogamy is some kind of wood.


  • The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: No! It wasn't me! It was the one-armed man!


  • The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: P. A. R. T. Why? Cos I Gotta!
    The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: P-A-R-T-Why? Because I gotta!


  • The Mask/Stanley Ipkiss: Somebody stop me!


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