Heavyweights (Heavy Weights) - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Heavyweights (Heavy Weights) Quotes

  • Julie: Hi, I'm Julie the new nurse.
    Pat Finley: I'm Pat.
    Julie: Pat, I'm a little lost, can you tell me where the infirmary is?
    Pat Finley: Hmmm, let's see . . . ah . . . . no.
    Julie: Oh . . . well, I'll find it. Nice to meet you.
    Roy: Pat, you've been coming here since you were 10, and you don't know where the infirmary is?


  • Tony Perkis: My Grandma runs faster than you and she's only got one leg!!!


  • Tony Perkis: Seamore Butts? Whose Seamore Butts? Whose Seamore Butts?!
    Josh Birnbaum: Nobody sees more butts then YOU Uncle Tony!!!
    Josh Birnbaum: Nobody sees more butts then YOU Uncle Tony!


  • Lars: Youv'e broken my camera!


  • Tony Perkis: Get on the scale! Get off the scale.


  • Lars: Please put your fat finger down!


  • Lars: Hey! Don't pee in the water! Don't drink the water. He pee'd in it!


  • Tony Perkis: Wake up campers. It's a glorious morning! Today is evaluation day. The key word here is 'value'. Do you have any? Not yet, but by the end of the summer this camp is going to be full of skinny winners!


  • Lars: Now! I must inform you I have a severely deviated septum. When I sleep at night, I make a very disturbing sound. Don't be alarmed! I am fine.


  • Lars: Helloooo! I am your new friend and counselor! Please enjoy your new Perkisystem uniforms. Your families will be billed automatically. Now! Let's play da fun game that helps us learn each other's names.


  • Harvey Bushkin: One word of advice: never let anyone sign your checks!


  • Lars: I'm feeling skinny Tony


  • Maury Garner: I didn't send you to go-kart camp.
    Maury Garner: [on the phone] I did not send you to 'go-kart' camp!


  • Lars: Congratulations Mr. Simms, you're the fatest boy in camp!
    Lars: Congratulations, Mr. Simms. You are the fattest boy in camp.


  • Tony Perkis: Anyone who brings candy into this camp is not your friend... he is a destroyer.
    Tony Perkis: Anyone who brings candy into this camp is not your friend. He is a destroyer.


  • Tony Perkis: Come here you devil log!!
    Tony Perkis: Come here you devil log!


  • Maury Garner: One word of advice, NEVER LET ANYONE SIGN YOUR CHECKS!
    Harvey Bushkin: One word of advice, NEVER LET ANYONE SIGN YOUR CHECKS!


  • Gerry Garner: "It's a fat camp! Are you Crazy? No Way"
    Gerry Garner: It's a fat camp! Are you crazy? No way!


  • Tim: "Sugar free punch? This Bites"
    Tim: Sugar free punch? This bites.


  • Tony Perkis: "Oh look, a Deli Meat"
    Tony Perkis: [Upon finding contraband salami] Oh look! A deli meat!


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