The Rock Quotes

  • Stanley Goodspeed: How in the name of Zeus' BUTTHOLE did you get out of your cell?


  • Stanley Goodspeed: Stanley Goodspeed 12:37 minutes in: “I had kind of an interesting day myself” Girlfriend: “well ok. You go first.” Stanley Goodspeed: Oh, just some terrorists decided to send us a little care package, box of goodies, which had to be neutralized before blowing up the office, so I took the rest of the day off. Glass of wine, a little guitar, just relaxing.” Girlfriend: “Wow.” Stanley Goodspeed: “I mean honey, the world is being fedexed to hell in a hand cart…”


  • Stanley Goodspeed: If the rocket renders it aerosol, it could take out an entire city of people.
    John Patrick Mason: Really? And what happens if you drop one?
    Stanley Goodspeed: Well, happily, it will just wipe just you and me
    John Patrick Mason: How?
    Stanley Goodspeed: It's a cholinesterase inhibitor. It stops the brain from sending messages down the spinal cord within 30 seconds. Any epidermal exposure or inhalation and you'll a twinge at the small of your back as the poison seizes your nervous system... DO NOT MOVE THAT! Your muscles freezes, you can't breathe, you spasm so hard you break your back and spit your guts out. But that's after your skin melts off.
    John Patrick Mason: My God.
    Stanley Goodspeed: Well, I think we'd like God on our side at the moment, don't you?


  • Stanley Goodspeed: I love pressure, I eat it for breakfast!


  • John Patrick Mason: The Rock has become a tourist attraction?


  • Stanley Goodspeed: Look, I'm just a biochemist. Most of the time, I work in a little glass jar and lead a very uneventful life. I drive a Volvo, a beige one. But what I'm dealing with here is one of the most deadly substances the earth has ever known, so what say you cut me some FRIGGIN' SLACK?


  • John Patrick Mason: Are you sure you're ready for this?
    Stanley Goodspeed: I'll do my best
    Stanley Goodspeed: I'll do my best.
    John Patrick Mason: Your "best"! Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and f**k the prom queen.
    John Patrick Mason: Your 'best'! Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and f**k the prom queen.
    Stanley Goodspeed: Carla was the prom queen
    Stanley Goodspeed: Carla was the prom queen.
    John Patrick Mason: Really?
    Stanley Goodspeed: [cocks his gun] Yeah.


  • Stanley Goodspeed: Well, I'm one of those fortunate people who like my job, sir. Got my first chemistry set when I was seven, blew my eyebrows off, we never saw the cat again, been into it ever since.
    Stanley Goodspeed: Well, I'm one of those fortunate people who like my job, sir. Got my first chemistry set when I was seven, blew my eyebrows off, we never saw the cat again, been into it ever since.


  • Stanley Goodspeed: Honey? Uh... You wanna know who really killed JFK?


  • Paul the Hotel Barber: Okay, I don't want to know nothing. I never saw you throw that gentleman off the balcony. All I care about is: are you happy with your haircut?
    Paul the Hotel Barber: Okay, I don't want to know nothing. I never saw you throw that gentleman off the balcony. All I care about is: are you happy with your haircut?


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