Road Trip - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Road Trip Quotes

  • E.L.: Barry, hit the lights. It's boner time!


  • Rubin: Yeah, I can teach Japanese to a monkey in 46 hours. They key is just finding a way to relate to the material.


  • Barry's Grandpa: You know what your problem is? Your all brains... not enough cock and balls!


  • E.L.: You're already cheating! Anytime you pass up sex, you're cheating on yourself.


  • E.L.: It ain't easy beings Josh's penis. Nothing has happened for two months it feels like I'm in a coma. I wish I was your dick EL, because this is torture. If something doesn't happen soon, I'm just going to pack up my balls and leave.


  • Kyle: It's not cheating if you spread peanut butter on your balls and let your dog lick it off.


  • Barry's Grandpa: You gonna pass that doobie or what?


  • E.L.: Yep. I'd give us about 20 minutes before our first ass-raping.


  • E.L.: Think about it Josh, you're in college. The window of opportunity to drink and do drugs and take advantage of young girls is getting smaller by the day.


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