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Critic Reviews for Apocalypse
Audience Reviews for Apocalypse
Helen Hannah: My grandmother is totally convinced that the world is about to end. Bronson Pearl: She was going on about same thing during the Gulf War. Let's just hope she's wrong again. Helen Hannah: What if she's not wrong? What if the world IS about to end?
End-of-the-world movies come in two types. There are the big-budget, epic tales of worldwide panic with massive destruction and loads of characters, a la THE DAY AFTER and THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW, and then there's the smaller, character-driven stories about a few people dealing with the destruction of everything that tend to have a much larger emotional impact, like THREADS and TESTAMENT. APOCALYPSE tries really, really hard to be the former when it's on a budget much more suitable for the latter. It doesn't help that it's blatant Christian propaganda, of course, but that doesn't necessarily make it a bad film. Now, APOCALYPSE is a bad film because it's plodding, poorly-acted, nonsensical, preachy crap. The first part of the film starts out interestingly enough. There's a war in the middle east (shock!) and it looks like it's going to lead to inevitable nuclear annihilation. The film focusses on a married couple who both work as broadcast journalists for "WNN" (clearly based on CNN, though from the folks working there, it feels more like FOX); Helen's in New York, and pronounces the attacks "nuclear," Bronson's in Israel and pronounces them "nu-cu-lar." The President of the European Union speaks about a possible peace talk, and random news footage of warfare erupts all over the place. Then, just as the bombs are about to drop, things get stupid. REALLY stupid. The missles vanish, along with millions of people on earth, leaving only a pile of neatly-folded (!?) clothes. The President of the European Union (we never find out what happens to the U.S. Prez) declares that he did this and is instantly, inexplicably hailed as the new messiah without a hint of evidence. Helen is skeptical, especially after her network unexplictedly changes hands. (This is done by the bad guy simply killing the president of the network and sitting in his desk. Corporate takeovers are easier than they seen.) After watching a number of tapes of Jack Van Impe's televangelism (Van Impe, we presume, is not one of the, er, "left behind."), Helen becomes convinced that the Euro-Prez is actually the Antichrist and tries to warn Branson. He doesn't buy it--until the Prez makes a "7-year truce" between Israel and Palestine, the same time prophecised by "The Bible." Towards the end, the world turns anti-Christian, with God-worshippers that don't see the Prez as the new messiah getting hunted down and jailed. The network becomes a single-viewpoint network under the whil of the presumed devil's minion. (So, then, JUST like Fox News. Ha. Haha.) APOCALYPSE never manages to come up with a plot point that will make allbut the most Jesus-eyed cringe, and the low-rent acting, blandly awful Christian-centric music (even when completely inappropriate) and shot-on-video look don't help any. The villians are obvious villians, the heroes are obvioues heroes, you know the skeptic will find "God" in the end, and the insertion of stock footage that doesn't even come close to matching the same film stock has the same effect of the army sequences in PLAN 9. Look, I'm trying not to be a religion-basher, here, but APOCALYPSE is the sort of poorly-made, laughable drivel that gives religious films a bad name. Lacking even the extreme brutality that makes IF FOOTMEN TIRE YOU, WHAT WILL HORSES DO? entertaining, APOCALYPSE is just plain terrible. (And it makes the rapture look downright fun for us heathens. Apparently it'll just be one big party without anyone poo-pooing the fun. This is supposed to convert people TO Christianity?)
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