Step Brothers - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Step Brothers Quotes

  • Nancy Huff: You don't know anyone named Johnny Hopkins.
    Brennan Huff: It was Johnny Hopkins, and Sloan Kettering. And they were blazin' that s**t up every day.
    Brennan Huff: It was Johnny Hopkins, and Sloan Kettering. And they were blazin' that shit up every day.


  • Dale Doback: Haha,That's so funny the last time I heard that, I laugh so hard I fell off my dinosaur!
    Dale Doback: Haha, that's so funny the last time I heard that, I laugh so hard I fell off my dinosaur!


  • Brennan Huff: I used to smoke pot with John Hopkins. It was Johnny Hopkins and Sloan Kettering, and they would blaze that shit every day.


  • Dale Doback: Dad, I'm doing this because I love you. Fuck you.
    Dr. Robert Doback: Anything else?
    Dale Doback: No, bon voyage! Have a great time!


  • Dale Doback: It was the Asbestos in the house, that's what did it!


  • Dale Doback: you and your mom are hill-billy's. This is a house of learning doctors.
    Dale Doback: You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learning doctors.
    Brennan Huff: you're not a doctor. you're a big fat curly headed fuck.
    Brennan Huff: You're not a doctor. You're a big fat curly-headed fuck.


  • Brennan Huff: Hey Derek, Sprechen ze dick!!!


  • Dale Doback: I am warning you, if you touch my drums, I will stab you in the neck with a knife.


  • Brennan Huff: Hey Derek, you know what's good for shoulder pain?
    Derek: What?
    Brennan Huff: If you lick my butt-hole.
    Dale Doback: Snap!!!
    Dale Doback: Snap!


  • Dale Doback: OK on the count of three name your favourite dinosaur, don't even think about it just do it. 1, 2, 3
    Brennan Huff: Philosoraptor
    Brennan Huff: Philosoraptor.
    Dale Doback: Philosoraptor
    Dale Doback: Philosoraptor.
    Brennan Huff: Favourite non-pornographic magazine to masturbate to.
    Dale Doback: Good Housekeeping
    Dale Doback: Good Housekeeping.
    Brennan Huff: Good Housekeeping
    Brennan Huff: Good Housekeeping.
    Brennan Huff: If you were a chick who's the one guy you'd sleep with?
    Dale Doback: John Stamos
    Dale Doback: John Stamos.
    Brennan Huff: John Stamos
    Brennan Huff: John Stamos.


  • Dale Doback: Dad please shut up
    Brennan Huff: PLEASE SHUT UP!


  • Brennan Huff: I'm gonna fill, a pillow case, full of bars of soap, and beat the shit out of you!


  • Brennan Huff: You don't say that!


  • Brennan Huff: You keep your liver spotted hands off of my beautiful mother! She's a saint!


  • Dale Doback: Dad, it's Shark Week!


  • Brennan Huff: oh ya? oh ya? well you'r a curly headed fuck!
    Brennan Huff: You're not a doctor... you're a big, fat, curly-headed fuck!


  • Derek: Or Randy here is going to eat your dick...
    Randy: Like Kobayashi!


  • 9-year-old Brennan: You did it Derek!


  • Brennan Huff: i gotta belly full of white dog crap
    Brennan Huff: I have a belly full of white dog crap in me, and now you lay this shit on me?


  • Dale Doback: Did you rub your balls on my drums.
    Brennan Huff: No, I was watching cops.
    Dale Doback: I know for a fact that cops doesn't come on till 4:00.


  • Dale Doback: It's just like cold case files, it's just like cold case files.


  • Brennan Huff: Hey Derek, you know what's always good for shoulder pain. If you lick my butthole.


  • Brennan Huff: Robert better not get in my face, cos I'll drop that motherfucker.


  • Brennan Huff: I'm not gonna call him dad not even if their's a fire
    Brennan Huff: I'm not gonna call him dad not even if their's a fire.


  • Brennan Huff: This house is a fucking prison!
    Dale Doback: On planet bull shit!
    Brennan Huff: In the galaxy of this sucks camel dick!


  • Brennan Huff: If you're referring to me as butt buddy, then yes, I do have a name: and it's Brennan Huff.


  • Brennan Huff: Dale: (Sarcastically laughs) Last time I heard that I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.
    Dale Doback: [sarcastically laughs] Last time I heard that I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.


  • Brennan Huff: Last week i put liquid paper on a bee... And it died.
    Brennan Huff: Last week I put liquid paper on a bee... And it died.


  • Dale Doback: Investors? Maybe you
    Dale Doback: Investors? Maybe you.
    Dale Doback: Investors? Possibly you.


  • Nancy Huff: Brennan walks in his sleep
    Nancy Huff: Brennan walks in his sleep.


  • Dale Doback: Is he dead?


  • Dr. Robert Doback: Get the fuck out of my house
    Dr. Robert Doback: Get the fuck out of my house.


  • Dale Doback: Dad,what a terrible idea.Why did you let us do that
    Dale Doback: Dad, what a terrible idea. Why did you let us do that?


  • Dale Doback: Here's a scenario for you. Lets say Nancy catches me getting out of the shower. And she thinks I look good. And she sees my chest pubes all the way down to my ball fro, and she says iv'e had the old bull, now I want the old calve. Then she grabs me by the wein
    Dale Doback: Here's a scenario for you. Lets say Nancy catches me getting out of the shower. And she thinks I look good. And she sees my chest pubes all the way down to my ball fro, and she says iv'e had the old bull, now I want the old calve. Then she grabs me by the wiener.
    Dr. Robert Doback: DALE SHUT THE FUCK UP!


  • Brennan Huff: I tea bagged your drum set!
    Dale Doback: Oh yeah,well my drum set's a guy,so that makes you gay!
    Dale Doback: Oh yeah, well my drum set's a guy, so that makes you gay!


  • Dr. Robert Doback: Alright thats it! You guys leave me no choice! No television for a week!
    Dale Doback: WHAT!?
    Nancy Huff: We are so serious!
    Brennan Huff: You're fuckin high!
    Nancy Huff: This remote goes in Roberts room...and it stays there...
    Brennan Huff: This house is a fuckin prison!
    Dale Doback: On planet bullshit!
    Brennan Huff: In the galaxy of this sucks camel dicks!


  • Brennan Huff: Hey! y'all dont say that!!!
    Brennan Huff: Hey! Y'all don't say that!


  • Dale Doback: You and your mom are hilbillies. This is a house of learned doctors.


  • Derek: I can't believe that retard tried to punch me in the face
    Derek: I can't believe that retard tried to punch me in the face.


  • Brennan Huff: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED??


  • Dale Doback: Boats 'N Hoes!


  • Blind Man: Cinnamon?


  • Brennan Huff: When you fall asleep, I'm gonna punch you square in the face
    Brennan Huff: When you fall asleep, I'm gonna punch you square in the face.


  • Brennan Huff: I have had a belly full of white dog crap in me , and now you lay this shit on me ?
    Brennan Huff: I have had a belly full of white dog crap in me, and now you lay this shit on me?


  • Brennan Huff: its the fucking catalina wine mixer
    Brennan Huff: It's the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer.


  • Dale Doback: You and your mother are a bunch of hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors. The only reason we're letting you live here is because me and my dad thought your mom was hot, and we thought we'd keep her around so we can both bang her. And we'll deal with the retard in the meantime.
    Brennan Huff: Who's the retard?


  • Dale Doback: You should have never let us make bunkbeds! It was a terrible idea! There's blood everywhere!
    Dale Doback: Dad, Nancy, it's bad. It's so bad. There's blood everywhere. Those bunk beds were a terrible idea. Why'd you let us do that? It's so bad!


  • Brennan Huff: I've been called the songbird of my generation by people who've heard me. That good.


  • Brennan Huff: Boats and hos, boats and hos
    Brennan Huff: [while Brennan is singing] Boats and hoes!
    Dale Doback: Gotta have me my boats and hos!
    Dale Doback: Gotta have me my boats and hoes!


  • Brennan Huff: You geriatric f***! You better keep your liver-spotted hands off my beautiful mother, who is a saint, or else I'll shove one of your hearing devices up your ass so you can hear the sound of your own small intestines producing shit!


  • Dale Doback: You and your mother are a bunch of hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors. The only reason we're letting you live here is because me and my dad thought your mom was hot, and we thought we'd keep her around so we can both bang her. And we'll deal with the retard in the meantime.


  • Dale Doback: OK, imagine this - I'm stepping out of the shower. I'm looking good. I have a nice V of chest pubes going all the way down to my ball fro. Nancy takes one look at me, and thinks, "I got the old bull. Now I want the young calf." And she grabs me by the wiener ...
    Dale Doback: OK, imagine this - I'm stepping out of the shower. I'm looking good. I have a nice V of chest pubes going all the way down to my ball fro. Nancy takes one look at me, and thinks, 'I got the old bull. Now I want the young calf.' And she grabs me by the wiener...
    Dr. Robert Doback: SHUT THE F*** UP!!!!
    Dr. Robert Doback: SHUT THE F*** UP!


  • Nancy Huff: Dr. Doback when to Northwestern and John Hopkins. Is that good enough for you?
    Brennan Huff: No.
    Nancy Huff: Those are very prestigious schools.
    Brennan Huff: I smoked weed once with Johnny Hopkins. He was blazin that shit up every day.


  • Dr. Robert Doback: Is this your purse in the freezer?
    Nancy Huff: Yes ... it's Brennan ... he sleepwalks.
    Nancy Huff: Yes, it's Brennan... he sleepwalks.
    Dr. Robert Doback: Are you serious? Dale sleepwalks, too. Check the oven.
    Nancy Huff: Couch pillows.


  • Brennan Huff: Hey Derek! Sprechen sie Dick?
    Brennan Huff: [mowing lawn, dressed as Nazi] Hey Derek, sprechen sie dick?


  • Alice: I pleasured myself this evening to the image of you punching my husband.


  • Dr. Robert Doback: He quit college his junior year and said he wanted to join the family business.
    Nancy Huff: But you're a medical doctor ....
    Nancy Huff: But you're a medical doctor...
    Dr. Robert Doback: I told him that. He just said, "It's all about who you know."
    Dr. Robert Doback: I told him that. He just said,'It's all about who you know.'


  • Dale Doback: "That's so funny. The last time I heard that, I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur."
    Dale Doback: That's so funny. The last time I heard that, I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.
    Brennan Huff: "That's it. Just let the dirt shower over you." (whispered softly as he is burying his stepbrother alive).
    Brennan Huff: That's it. Just let the dirt shower over you. [whispered softly as he is burying his stepbrother alive]
    Derek: BRENNAN HAS A MANGINA! BRENNAN HAS A MANGINA!
    Nancy Huff: Nancy Huff: Today, I saw my own son use a bicycle as a weapon. you were yelling "Rape". Dale: I meant, let's fight!!
    Nancy Huff: Today, I saw my own son use a bicycle as a weapon. you were yelling 'Rape'.
    Brennan Huff: I really did think he was going to rape me at one point. He got this crazy look in his eyes and said, "Let's get it on."
    Dale Doback: I meant, let's fight!
    Brennan Huff: I really did think he was going to rape me at one point. He got this crazy look in his eyes and said, 'Let's get it on.'


  • Brennan Huff: Hey yah don't say that!
    Brennan Huff: [raising his voice] Hey ya'll don't say that!


  • Brennan Huff: I remember my first beer.


  • Brennan Huff: Pand, there's a D on the end.
    Pam Gringe: No, there's no D.


  • Brennan Huff: Well, Pan...
    Pam Gringe: No it's Pam.
    Pam Gringe: No, my name is PAM.
    Brennan Huff: Are you saying Pan or Pam?
    Brennan Huff: Are you saying Pam? or Pan?


  • Brennan Huff: You sound insane. You should be medicated.
    Brennan Huff: You sound insane. Do you realize that? You should be medicated.


  • Derek: "It's the freakin' Catalina Wine Mixer!"
    Derek: It's the f**kin' Catalina Wine Mixer!
    Alice: "It's the freakin' Catalina Wine Mixer!'
    Alice: It's the f**kin' Catalina Wine Mixer!
    Dr. Robert Doback: "It's the freakin' Catalina Wine Mixer!"
    Dr. Robert Doback: It's the f**kin' Catalina Wine Mixer!


  • Brennan Huff: You're not a doctor..you're a big, fat, curly headed fuck!
    Brennan Huff: You're not a doctor... you're a big, fat, curly-headed fuck!


  • Brennan Huff: Oh, looks like somebody got some air. Snap!
    Dale Doback: Still hate you.
    Brennan Huff: Still hate you. Ah, look at that, it's such power, it's raw power.
    Brennan Huff: Still hate you. Ah, look at that, it's such power, it's raw power.
    Dale Doback: Dad what are you doing it's shark week?
    Dale Doback: Dad what are you doing, it's shark week?


  • Doctor: Brennan can sure wear the shit out of that pirate hat
    Doctor: But Brennan sure can wear the shit out of that pirate hat.


  • Brennan Huff: Can we turn our beds into bunk beds so that there is more room for activities
    Brennan Huff: Can we turn our beds into bunk beds so that there is more room for activities.


  • Brennan Huff: AHHH!!! ZOMBIE!!!!
    Brennan Huff: Ahh! Zombie!


  • Dale Doback: I'll lick the dog shit if you leave us alone
    Dale Doback: I'll lick the shit if you leave us alone.


  • Brennan Huff: I've got a belly full of white dog crap in me, AND NOW YOU LAY THIS SHIT ON ME!
    Brennan Huff: I have a belly full of white dog crap in me, and now you lay this shit on me?


  • Brennan Huff: Did we just become best friends?


  • Brennan Huff: "I feel like a lightning bolt, just hit the tip of my penis"
    Brennan Huff: I feel like a lightning bolt, just hit the tip of my penis.


  • Dale Doback: Get your shit, we're going to my room.


  • Tommy: EAT DOG SHIT DOBACK!
    Tommy: Eat dog shit Doback!


  • Brennan Huff: I'm going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you!


  • Brennan Huff: Robert better not get in my face... 'cause I'll drop that motherfucker!


  • Dale Doback: Hey man. Did you touch my drum set?
    Brennan Huff: Nope.
    Dale Doback: Why are you so sweaty?
    Brennan Huff: I was watching cops.


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