Mary and Max - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

Mary and Max Quotes

  • Max Jerry Horowitz: You are my friend, my only friend.


  • Max Jerry Horowitz: Dr Bernard Hazelhof says it is good to have goals but not stupid ones like mine.


  • Narrator: Que Sera, Sera


  • Max Jerry Horowitz: Jurors are outstanding members of the community who haven't murdered anybody.


  • Max Jerry Horowitz: Did you know that turtles can breathe through their anuses?


  • Mary Daisy Dinkle (child): I wish he was my boyfriend, then we can be in love and do sexing!


  • Mary Daisy Dinkle (child): He's scared of outside, which is a disease called homophobia.


  • Max Jerry Horowitz: I cannot understand how being honest can be.... improper
    Max Jerry Horowitz: I cannot understand how being honest can be... improper.


  • Max Jerry Horowitz: The reason I forgive you is because you are not perfect. You are imperfect. And so am I. All humans are imperfect. Even the man outside my apartment who litters. When I was young, I wanted to be anybody but myself. Dr. Bernard Hasselhoff said if I was on a desert island, then I would have to get used to my own company. Just me… and the coconuts. He said I would have to accept myself: my warts and all. And that we don’t get to choose our warts. They are a part of us and we have to live with them. We can however, choose our friends. And I am glad I have chosen you. Dr. Bernard Hasselhoff also said that everyone’s lives are like a very long sidewalk. Some are well paved. Others, like mine, have cracks, banana skins and cigarette butts. Your sidewalk is like mine, but probably not as many cracks. Hopefully, one day our sidewalks will meet and we can share a can of condensed milk. You are my best friend. You are my only friend.


  • Vera: Hey fellas have you got room for one more bag? Sure Mrs Dinkle, hop in!


  • Max Jerry Horowitz: When I was young, I invented an invisible friend called Mr Ravioli. My psychiatrist says I don't need him anymore, so he just sits in the corner and reads.


  • Max Jerry Horowitz: Unfortunately, in America, babies are not found in cola cans. I asked my mother when I was four, and she said they came from eggs laid by rabbis. If you aren't Jewish, they're laid by Catholic nuns. If you're atheist, they're laid by dirty, lonely prostitutes.
    Max Jerry Horowitz: Unfortunately, in America, babies are not found in cola cans. I asked my mother when I was four, and she said they came from eggs laid by rabbis. If you aren't Jewish, they're laid by Catholic nuns. If you're an atheist, they' re laid by dirty, lonely prostitutes.


  • Max Jerry Horowitz: Do you have a favourite-sounding word? My top-five are "ointment," "bumblebee," "Vladivostok," "banana," and "testicle."


  • Narrator: He smelled like licorice and old books, she thought to herself, as tears rolled from her eyes, the color of muddy puddles.


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