21 Jump Street - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

21 Jump Street Quotes

The top 21 Jump Street quotes selected by the Rotten Tomatoes community. Login to submit a quote!

  • Captain Dickson: Rule number 2 on Jump Street. Burns.
    Burns: Do not have sexual relations with students or teachers, sir.
    Captain Dickson: You hear that? That's you. Don't do it man. Keep that dirty dick in your pants. Don't fuck no students. Don't fuck no teachers.
    Schmidt: Sir, I know we come off as a couple of lady killers, but i promise you we'll be super professional at the job.
    Captain Dickson: Clearly I wasn't talking to you big titties. You cherub-looking mother fucker.
    ‐ Submitted by Sarah K (23 months ago)

  • Annie Schmidt: I love dick? You think that's funny? Wonder Years douche? What kind of a sick animal draws an ejaculating penis into an eight year old's mouth?
    Jenko: Kind of looks like...an airplane...throwing up.
    Annie Schmidt: You think I don't know that's a dick and balls? I know all about dick and balls! I used to party with Robert Downey Jr. before he got sober when he was really fucked up and a lot of fun!
    ‐ Submitted by Sarah K (23 months ago)

  • Jenko: I didn't punch him because he was gay. I punched him...and then he happened to turn out to be gay afterwards.
    ‐ Submitted by Sarah K (24 months ago)

  • Deputy Chief Hardy: You going anywhere Schmidt? We've got time.
    Schmidt: I had a thing but I could probably push it back
    ‐ Submitted by Abdul K (2 years ago)

  • Domingo: You don't look like cops. You look like kids on the Halloween.
    Jenko: Do you want me to beat your dick off?
    Domingo: You want to beat my dick off?
    Jenko: Yeah I'll beat your dick off, both hands. Let's go.
    Domingo: That's just sick man.
    Schmidt: I think what he means is he is gonna punch you so many times in the genital area that your dick is just gonna fall off.
    ‐ Submitted by Miles F (2 years ago)

  • Deputy Chief Hardy: Did you say, You have the right to be an attorney?
    Schmidt: He could be an attorney if he wants.
    ‐ Submitted by Bryan G (2 years ago)

  • Eric Molson: You know what happens to a handsome guy like me in jail?! It rhymes with grape! It rhymes with grape.
    ‐ Submitted by Joan P (2 years ago)

  • Molly Tracey: Hey Brad. Whoa! What are you wearing?
    Jenko: Potassium Nitrate, thanks for noticing.
    ‐ Submitted by Ann A (3 years ago)

  • Schmidt: You know how Tom Cruise is always pissed off at Rainman? That's my life, except Brad is really shitty at math.
    ‐ Submitted by Ann A (3 years ago)

  • Annie Schmidt: What kind of a sick animal draws an ejaculating penis into an eight-year old's mouth?
    Jenko: It could be, like, an airplane throwing up.
    Annie Schmidt: You think I don't know that's a dick and balls? I know all about dick and balls! I used to party with Robert Downey Jr , when he was really fucked up and a lot of fun!
    ‐ Submitted by Ann A (3 years ago)

  • Jenko: Can I go take a dump?
    ‐ Submitted by Ann A (3 years ago)

  • Schmidt: It's like seven strangers living in one house. True story!
    ‐ Submitted by Ann A (3 years ago)

  • Jenko: How about a pound of coke?
    Schmidt: We're trying to show them a good time. Not ruin their fucking lives!
    Jenko: Pound of marijuana?
    Schmidt: Best party ever!
    ‐ Submitted by Cody H (3 years ago)

  • Captain Dickson: You'll find yourself in prison. With a snorkel, duct-taped to the mouth. And me, shitting down that snorkel!
    Schmidt: That's extremely vivid, thank you.
    ‐ Submitted by Sarah K (3 years ago)

  • Captain Dickson: New assignment. Since you two cowboys love to drink booze, smoke weed with kids, and fuck anything with a big ass in jeans with low self-esteem, I'm gonna send you to a place where all that shit is allowed.
    Jenko: Oh, I love Disneyland!
    Captain Dickson: You two sons of bitches are going to college!
    Schmidt: Yes!
    Jenko: No!
    ‐ Submitted by Lily M (3 years ago)

  • Domingo: If it's good you hear from me. If it's not good you hear from me about telling you how it's not good.
    ‐ Submitted by Daniel R (3 years ago)

  • Captain Dickson: Since Captain Dickson: Enough, already. Enough. New assignment. Since you two cowboys love to drink booze, smoke weed with kids and fuck anything with a big ass in jeans with low self esteem, I'm a send you to a place where all that shit is allowed.
    Jenko: I love disneyland.
    Captain Dickson: You two sons of bitches are goin' to college!
    ‐ Submitted by YakUb R (3 years ago)

  • French Samuels: You look really young, were you held back or something?
    Jenko: No, you look really young. Were you held forward?
    ‐ Submitted by Reid R (3 years ago)

  • Schmidt: It looks like I died in a car accident and you guys haven't gotten over it yet.
    ‐ Submitted by Reid R (3 years ago)

  • Eric Molson: You made me this friendship bracelet.
    Jenko: Well he's not really your friend, he was pretending the whole time.
    Eric Molson: I'm gonna cut this the fuck off later alright!
    ‐ Submitted by Reid R (3 years ago)

  • Jenko: It's gonna explode, roll your window up!
    Schmidt: What the fuck is that gonna do?
    ‐ Submitted by Kalli C (3 years ago)

  • Captain Dickson: [flipping through files]
    Captain Dickson: Schmidt, says you were a virgin through high school.
    Schmidt: It says that!?
    Captain Dickson: No, I just assumed it!
    ‐ Submitted by Tosaka T (3 years ago)

  • Jenko: Seriously, I'd have no strap if that would even be possible.
    ‐ Submitted by Kaylee W (3 years ago)

  • Jenko: Do you want to die?
    Schmidt: No...
    Jenko: Then we have to finger each other's throats. Okay? Go!
    ‐ Submitted by Christopher P (3 years ago)

  • Jenko: [receives a test with a 44%] God, what bullshit.
    Schmidt: [receives a test with a perfect score]
    Jenko: Damn, your good at this....wanna be friends?
    ‐ Submitted by Tim F (3 years ago)

  • Schmidt: We're not sitting around... POPPING each others' zzasholes.
    ‐ Submitted by Darren Z (3 years ago)

  • Jenko: One particle of unobtanium has a nuclear reaction with the flux capacitor, carry the two, changing its atomic isotope into a radioactive spider.
    ‐ Submitted by Corey O (3 years ago)

  • Captain Dickson: When I'm talking to him, I'm talking to him. When I say shut the fuck up, I'm talking to you!
    ‐ Submitted by Noel Joseph B (3 years ago)

  • Jenko: You're a Goddamn rockstar. Do you feel that? Goddamn your so cool. You just shot him in the dick. I've never seen that. Who does that?
    ‐ Submitted by Kallie J (3 years ago)

  • Jenko: Are you ready for a lifetime of being badass motherfuckers?
    Schmidt: I am.
    ‐ Submitted by Palmer R (3 years ago)

  • Ms. Griggs: Let me check your chest, I mean test.
    ‐ Submitted by Palmer R (3 years ago)

  • Schmidt: You're a girl.
    Molly Tracey: I am. That's why I'm wearing this pretty dress, to remind you.
    ‐ Submitted by Palmer R (3 years ago)

  • Captain Dickson: [to Schmidt] When I'm talking about having sex, I'm talking about Handsome McGee. When I'm talking about shutting the fuck up, I'm talking to your insecure ass.
    ‐ Submitted by Palmer R (3 years ago)

  • Schmidt: The doctor thought I was gonna spontaneously grow a vagina.
    ‐ Submitted by Nicholas R (3 years ago)

  • Jenko: You look like a young Jay Leno.
    ‐ Submitted by Nicholas R (3 years ago)

  • Captain Dickson: You guys are hear cuz you look young. You some Justin Beaver, Miley Cyrus lookin motherfuckers.
    Schmidt: [whispering] God, this guy is sassy.
    ‐ Submitted by Nicholas R (3 years ago)

  • Jenko: Look, you're hot, and you're a fuckin slut, but I gotta shoot people right now.
    Melodie: You think Im hot?
    ‐ Submitted by Dina A (3 years ago)

  • Jenko: Ap chemistry. Bitch!
    ‐ Submitted by Dina A (3 years ago)

  • Eric Molson: Get in the fucking car now!
    Jenko: Not until you ask nicely.
    Eric Molson: Please get in the car.
    ‐ Submitted by Evan T (3 years ago)

  • Captain Dickson: [slams desk] Infiltrate the dealers, find the supplier!
    Jenko: But if we find the supplier first, we don't have to worry about the dealers.
    Captain Dickson: God damn. [slams desk]
    ‐ Submitted by Pete G (3 years ago)

  • Hamilton Principal: You punched a little black gay kid and its not even second period, how do you explain that?
    ‐ Submitted by Antonio F (3 years ago)

  • Principal Dadier: I'm one more Little gay black kid getting slapped in the face away from a nervous breakdown.
    ‐ Submitted by Daniel R (3 years ago)

  • Captain Dickson: This kid was white, so people actually give a shit.
    ‐ Submitted by Daniel R (3 years ago)

  • Schmidt: This feels like the end of Die hard, but this is real life!
    Jenko: Which one?
    Schmidt: The 3rd one Samuel Jackson style.
    Jenko: Fuck yeah!
    ‐ Submitted by Kenny L (3 years ago)

  • Schmidt: Sir, I know we come off as a couple of ladykillers, but I promise you we will be super professional on the job.
    Captain Dickson: Clearly I wasn't talkin' to you, big titties! You cherub lookin' motherfucker. I was talkin' to your partner over here, Fake ass handsome McGee! When I'm talkin' to him, I'm talkin' to him. When I say, shut the fuck up, I'm talkin' to you.
    Schmidt: Cool
    ‐ Submitted by Johnathan K (3 years ago)

  • Schmidt: We're not finger poppin' each other's assholes. What we are doing is getting shit done.
    ‐ Submitted by Prakatheesh N (3 years ago)

  • Mr. Walters: Don't throw the baton, you jackass!
    ‐ Submitted by Prakatheesh N (3 years ago)

  • Jenko: They don't serve vegan in prison, Bitch.
    ‐ Submitted by Richie B (3 years ago)

  • Eric Molson: It rhymes with grape..
    ‐ Submitted by Mary B (3 years ago)

  • Schmidt: We're like, in the end of 'Die Hard' right now, only it's our actual life!
    ‐ Submitted by Evan T (4 years ago)

  • Captain Dickson: You are here because you some Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus lookin' muthafuckers.
    ‐ Submitted by Dan O (4 years ago)

  • Jenko: One particle of unobtanium has a nuclear reaction with the flux ... carry the two, changing its atomic isotope into a radioactive spider.
    ‐ Submitted by Jordon K (4 years ago)

  • Jenko: You are fine as shit! Don't worry, Someone will pick you up!
    ‐ Submitted by Brooke J (4 years ago)

  • Captain Dickson: There's rumors, On the tweetosphere, that yall throwing a part.
    ‐ Submitted by Muhammad M (4 years ago)

  • Captain Dickson: Are yall throwin a party?
    Captain Dickson: There's rumors, In the tweetosphere, And if my officers are caught giving alcohol to the minors, the'll find themselves in prison, with a snorkel duck-taped to their mouth, and me, shitting down that snorkel!
    Schmidt: Its extremely vivid, thank you!
    ‐ Submitted by Muhammad M (4 years ago)

  • Captain Dickson: And as you can see, this kid is white. That means, people actually give a shit.
    Captain Dickson: Sir, I just wanna throw out to you that I would give a shit if he was black.
    ‐ Submitted by Muhammad M (4 years ago)

  • Schmidt: Sir, I know we come off as a couple of ladykillers, but I promise you we will be super professional on the job.
    Captain Dickson: Clearly I wasn't talkin' to you, big titties! You cherub lookin' motherfucker. I was talkin' to your partner over here, Fake ass handsome McGee! When I'm talkin' to him, I'm talkin' to him. When I say, shut the fuck up, I'm talkin' to you.
    Schmidt: Cool.
    ‐ Submitted by Muhammad M (4 years ago)

  • Captain Dickson: [to Jenko] You hear that? That's you. Don't do it, man. Keep that dirty dick in your pants. Don't fuck no students. Don't fuck no teachers.
    ‐ Submitted by Muhammad M (4 years ago)

  • Captain Dickson: Didn't somebody tell you tell you guys this was a undercover unit?
    Schmidt: I don't...I actually didn't...I didn't get a letter or anything. Or a dress code...
    Jenko: Yeah, like...
    Captain Dickson: Teenage the fuck up!
    ‐ Submitted by Muhammad M (4 years ago)

  • Captain Dickson: Everybody comfortable?
    Schmidt: Yeah.
    Captain Dickson: Get your motherfuckin' ass up when I'm talkin'!
    Captain Dickson: You will be going undercover as high school students. You are here simply because you look young. You some Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus lookin' motherfuckers.
    ‐ Submitted by Muhammad M (4 years ago)

  • Captain Dickson: Schmidt, Say's you were a Virgin through high school
    Schmidt: It Says that?
    Captain Dickson: No. I just Assumed it!
    ‐ Submitted by Muhammad M (4 years ago)

  • Captain Dickson: The mission is quick and simple: infiltrate the dealers, find the supplier.
    Schmidt: Wait so we get to be brothers?
    Captain Dickson: [shakes his head in annoyance and smashes the desk] Infiltrate the dealers, find the supplier!
    Jenko: Wait if we find the supplier first then we don't have to worry about the dealers.
    Captain Dickson: Goddamn. [smashes the desk even harder] INFILTRATE THE DEALERS! FIND THE SUPPLIER!
    ‐ Submitted by Dariush A (4 years ago)

  • Deputy Chief Hardy: Down on Jump St., 37 Jump St. Nah, that doesn't sound right. Is it...
    ‐ Submitted by Hana K (4 years ago)

  • Schmidt: Are you saying we're a covalent bond?
    Jenko: No dude, we're not atoms!
    ‐ Submitted by Maximilian M (4 years ago)

  • Schmidt: Jenko, do you wanna go to prom with me?
    ‐ Submitted by Zaenal A (4 years ago)

  • Captain Dickson: I wasn't talking to you not so Slim Shaddy!
    ‐ Submitted by Bo A (4 years ago)

  • Captain Dickson: Hey! Hey! Stop fuckin with korean jesus. he aint got time for your problems, hes busy with korean shit!
    ‐ Submitted by James D (4 years ago)

  • Captain Dickson: Embrace yo stereotypes!
    ‐ Submitted by Michael B (4 years ago)

  • Jenko: Fuck you Glee.
    ‐ Submitted by Keith N (4 years ago)

  • Eric Molson: Your a cop. You lied to me.
    Schmidt: I'm sorry, man.
    Eric Molson: But you bought us Taco Bell.
    ‐ Submitted by Sean B (4 years ago)

  • Schmidt: Where did you learn how to do that?
    Jenko: AP CHEMISTRY BITCH!
    ‐ Submitted by Mike S (4 years ago)

  • Schmidt: Have some fairy dust motherfucker!!
    ‐ Submitted by Jacob M (4 years ago)

  • Jenko: Fuck you science!
    ‐ Submitted by Daniel F (4 years ago)

  • Eric Molson: ....it rhymes with grape!
    ‐ Submitted by AnnaMarie I (4 years ago)

  • Captain Dickson: Theres gonna be a snorkle taped to your mouth and at the other end ima be shitting down that tube..
    ‐ Submitted by Grace T (4 years ago)

  • Captain Dickson: Don't you be fucking with Korean Jesus! He's busy with Korean shit!
    ‐ Submitted by Suzanne N (4 years ago)

  • Schmidt: Hey Korean Jesus, I don't know if you only cater to Koreans, or even exist.
    ‐ Submitted by Daniel G (4 years ago)

  • Schmidt: Aroma of Christ Church?
    ‐ Submitted by Daniel G (4 years ago)

  • Mr. Gordon: You'll never know what you can't achieve, until you don't achieve it.
    ‐ Submitted by Logan E (4 years ago)

  • Jenko: This house is adorable!
    ‐ Submitted by Dan C (4 years ago)

  • Schmidt: Have some fairy dust motherfucker!
    ‐ Submitted by Brenda P (4 years ago)

  • Schmidt: I really thought that was going to explode.
    ‐ Submitted by Ethan R (4 years ago)

  • Jenko: Dont feed the ducks... don't do it!
    ‐ Submitted by Lacie C (4 years ago)

  • Schmidt: You guys called the cops to get your frisbee out of the pond? Is this really a police matter?
    Jenko: [goes to hand frisbee back to the boy, turns around and throws it back in the pond]
    Jenko: Get your own f*cking frisbee!
    ‐ Submitted by Joe L (4 years ago)

  • Jenko: Fuck you, Glee!
    ‐ Submitted by Santana L (4 years ago)

  • Jenko: You have the right to remain silent, MOTHER FUCKER!
    ‐ Submitted by Mike M (4 years ago)

  • Schmidt: Man... I thought this job would have more car chases and shit...
    ‐ Submitted by Diego T (4 years ago)

  • Schmidt: Will you go to prom with me?
    ‐ Submitted by Kelly D (4 years ago)

  • Jenko: Doves make you look bad-ass!
    ‐ Submitted by Kelly D (4 years ago)

  • Jenko: FUCK YOU SCIENCE!
    ‐ Submitted by Carina B (4 years ago)

  • Captain Dickson: Can you two stop fucking with the Korean Jesus!
    ‐ Submitted by Tom H (4 years ago)

  • Schmidt: When did I get stabbed?! That's awesome!
    ‐ Submitted by Alyssa B (4 years ago)

  • Captain Dickson: You are here because you some Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus lookin' motherfuckers. You will be going in as undercover high school students.
    ‐ Submitted by Alyssa B (4 years ago)

  • Domingo: You guys even real cops? You look like kids in Halloween
    Jenko: Hey! You want me to beat your dick off?
    Domingo: You want to beat my dick off?
    Schmidt: I think what he was trying to say was, he's gonna punch you so many times round the genital area that your dick's just gonna fall off.
    ‐ Submitted by Alyssa B (4 years ago)

  • Mr. Walters: Put your tongue back in your mouth.
    ‐ Submitted by Ben C (4 years ago)

  • Mr. Walters: When did you go through puberty? Like at seven or something.
    ‐ Submitted by Austin G (4 years ago)

  • Ms. Griggs: Let me check out your chest... Let me check out your test.
    ‐ Submitted by Chris P (4 years ago)

  • Captain Dickson: Do you even know the Miranda rights?
    Jenko: It obviously starts with... you have the right to... remain an attorney...
    Captain Dickson: Did you just say you have the right to be an attorney?
    Schmidt: Well, you do have the right to be an attorney if you want to...
    ‐ Submitted by Steven G (4 years ago)