2-Headed Shark Attack (2012)
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Critic Reviews for 2-Headed Shark Attack
One shark. Two heads. Fifteen mostly indistinguishable characters. One star is pushing it.
Audience Reviews for 2-Headed Shark Attack
Two heads are better than one is the thinking behind this latest effort from The Asylum Studios. It's as bad as you would expect from the studio who gave us titles like "Mega Piranha" and "Transmorphers". The CGI is particularly dire in this one and in some shots it seems like they forgot to add in the second head on their creature.
Most of their previous productions have been pretty kid-friendly, hence their popularity with the SyFy network, but with this one they've gone for a more adult approach. We get nudity, lesbianism, and some extreme gore. It's a lot more nihilistic than you may expect from such a jokey concept and most characters meet a bloody end.
It seems everyone involved is related to someone more famous than themselves. The director is the son of eighties schlock king Fred Olen Ray, O'Connell is the brother of "Piranha 3D" star Jerry O'Connell, and Hogan is the daughter of wrestler Hulk Hogan. The closest to a star is Electra but her role mainly consists of sunbathing montages.
If The Asylum dumped the cheap CG for old school rubber monsters and employed some wittier writers their movies may live up to their titles. They may claim that their sole aim is to make "six-pack" movies but you need something a lot stronger than beer to get through most of their product.
Possibly one of the worst films that came out of 2012, you've got some issues if you managed to finishing watching this film without the symptoms of blindness and nausea. Basically a bunch of Jersey Shore characters went on a boat trip and encounter a double headed shark, then it follows the conventional horror film formula. The acting was non-existent, literally, everyone was reading lines, the camera followed the characters as they read lines... The boat was way over occupied by the characters, they even have to stand up... All the characters were annoying, the black chick was the most stereotypical, the screaming girls were just retarded, the hunks were absolutely the worst. I can't express how bad this film really is, Christopher Ray should be sentenced to death penalty.
There's a strong possibility that if, amidst the production turmoil, Steven Spielberg said fuck it while making Jaws, it might've turned out exactly like 2-Headed Shark Attack. If dialogue contributed by a middle school English class, CGI constructed by an unemployed X-Box gamer and boobs, boobs and more boobies (the second best performance next to the shark) are right up your alley, you may get a kick out of this. I just highly recommend you are a drunk while you do so, especially since those involved in the making of this were as well.
Full review at http://silverscreenfanatic.com/2014/09/22/what-the-hell-were-they-thinking-38/
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