50/50 - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

50/50 Quotes

  • Mitch: How come we haven't met Rachel?
    Alan: Yeah, what the fuck?


  • Katherine: If I fuck up, I can ruin someone's life.


  • Adam: You're a selfish piece of shit! Care more about getting yourself fucking laid than being my friend!


  • Adam: I just want it to be over. I'm so fucking tired of being sick. You know if this surgery doesn't work, it's um...that's it. And I've never, you know, I've never been to fucking Canada. I've never told a girl I loved her. It sounds stupid, doesn't it?
    Adam: I just want it to be over. I'm so fucking tired of being sick. You know if this surgery doesn't work, it's um, that's it. And I've never, you know, I've never been to fucking Canada. I've never told a girl I loved her. It sounds stupid, doesn't it?
    Katherine: no, it doesn't.
    Katherine: No, it doesn't.


  • Adam: What is it, like a Doogie Howser or something?
    Katherine: Who?
    Adam: Doogie Howser? Teenage Doctor?
    Katherine: Does he work here?


  • Adam: "You're dying dude"
    Adam: You're dying dude.


  • Katherine: You can't change your situation. The only thing that you can change is how you choose to deal with it.


  • Adam: That's what everyone's been saying. "You will feel better", and "Don't worry", and "this is all fine", and like, it's not.
    Adam: That's what everyone's been saying. 'You will feel better', and 'Don't worry', and 'this is all fine', and like, it's not.


  • Adam: She doesn't like to mix negative and positive energy...it's an energy idea.
    Alan: Well I call it a bullshit idea.


  • Katherine: Don't judge me.


  • Kyle: Have you got a picture?
    Adam: Why would I be carrying a picture of it?


  • Adam: So you're going to sit here for 4 hours?


  • Katherine: You can't change who your parents are,the only thing you can change is how you choose to deal with that.
    Katherine: You can't change your situation. The only thing that you can change is how you choose to deal with it.


  • Kyle: You smell like you fucked the cast of The View.


  • Kyle: she doesn't ? No fucking shit she doesn't like to. No one likes putting a dick in their mouth. You do it cause .. that's why they are called blowjobs .. it's a job
    Kyle: She does...No fucking shit she doesn't like to! Who likes putting dicks in their mouth? You do it cause that's why they call it blow jobs! It's a job!


  • Kyle: I did it! I fucking nailed you! I've hated you for months and now I have fucking evidence that you suck as a person
    Kyle: I did it! I fucking nailed you! I've hated you for months and now I have fucking evidence that you suck as a person.


  • Kyle: And I would like to present to you what I have grown to call exhibit whore!


  • Adam: That's what everybody's been saying: You'll feel better and don't worry and this is all fine and it's not.
    Katherine: You can't change your situation. The only thing that you can change is how you choose to deal with it.


  • Adam: What were you doing when I called? Were you on facebook?
    Katherine: You know... umm... stalking my ex-boyfriend actually isn't the only thing I do in my free time.
    Adam: I wish you were my girlfriend.
    Katherine: Girlfriends can be nice. You just had a bad one.
    Adam: I bet you'd be a good one.


  • Kyle: Of course she doesn't like to. No one likes putting a dick in their mouth.


  • Adam: No, seriously... you need to get the fuck off my porch.


  • Adam: See, but... that's bullshit. That's what everyone has been telling me since the beginning. "Oh, you're gonna be okay," and "Oh, everything's fine," and like, it's not... It makes it worse... that no one will just come out and say it. Like, "hey man, you're gonna die."
    Adam: See, but... that's bullshit. That's what everyone has been telling me since the beginning. 'Oh, you're gonna be okay,' and 'Oh, everything's fine,' and like, it's not... It makes it worse... that no one will just come out and say it. Like, 'hey man, you're gonna die.'


  • Alan: I'm Alan Lombardo, stage three lymphoma. Pleased to meet you.
    Mitch: Mitch Barnett, metastatic prostate cancer.
    Adam: Nice to meet you. Oh, I'm Adam Lerner, schwannoma neurofibrosarcoma.


  • Kyle: Did he say I was a dick? 'Cause I'm not.


  • Kyle: Who found it?
    Adam: (Sarcastically)My cleaning lady found it in the back of my jeans..who do you think found it?!?
    Adam: [sarcastically] My cleaning lady found it in the back of my jeans..who do you think found it?


  • Alan: I'm Alan Lombardo, stage three lymphoma. Pleased to meet you.
    Mitch: Mitch Barnett, metastatic prostate cancer.
    Adam: Nice to meet you. Oh, I'm Adam Lerner, schwannoma neurofibrosarcoma.


  • Adam: what are you doin' ?
    Adam: What are you doin' ?
    Diane: I'm gonna make you some green tea
    Diane: I'm gonna make you some green tea.
    Adam: Can you just ... come back come sit down
    Adam: Can you just... come back come sit down.
    Diane: I heard on the 'Today' show that they said it reduces your risk of cancer by 15%
    Adam: well.. I've already had cancer... so can you just please come sit down.
    Adam: Well.. I've already had cancer... so can you just please come sit down.


  • Diane: I'm making you a glass of green tea because I heard on the news that it reduces your chance of getting cancer by 15%


  • Alan: Want a macaroon?
    Adam: Thanks, but I'm alright.
    Alan: There's weed in em...


  • Adam: Did I just score your digits?


  • Adam: I wanna make you pancakes.


  • Kyle: You could have totally fucked the shit out of that girl.
    Kyle: You could have totally fucked the shit out of that girl.
    Adam: No one wants to fuck me. I look like Voldemort....
    Adam: No one wants to fuck me. I look like Voldemort.


  • Adam: I'm peeing right now
    Adam: I'm peeing right now.


  • Adam: You should go...
    Adam: You should go.
    Rachael: I don't want to go... I want to stay here with you
    Rachael: [kissing him] I don't want to go. I want to stay here with you.
    Adam: No seriously, you need to get the fuck off my porch.
    Adam: No, seriously... you need to get the fuck off my porch.


  • Katherine: You can't change your situation, the only thing that you can change is how you deal with it.
    Katherine: You can't change your situation. The only think that you can change is how you choose to deal with it.
    Katherine: You can't change your situation. The only thing that you can change is how you choose to deal with it.


  • Diane: I want you to know that I smothered him because I love him.


  • Adam: A tumor? Me? I mean, that doesn't make sense. I don't smoke, I don't drink...I recycle.
    Adam: A tumor? Me? I mean that doesn't make sense. I don't smoke, I don't drink â?¦I recycle.
    Adam: A tumor? Me? I mean that doesn't make sense. I don't smoke, I don't drink ...I recycle.


  • Adam: Nobody's going to fuck me. I look like Voldemort.
    Adam: No one wants to fuck me. I look like Voldemort.


  • Diane: Adam I'm your mother!
    Diane: I'm your mother, Adam.


  • Adam: I'm peeing right now.


  • Adam: "That's what everybody's been saying, 'you'll feel better,' and 'don't worry,' and 'this is all fine,' and like, it's not.
    Adam: That's what everybody's been saying, 'you'll feel better,' and 'don't worry,' and 'this is all fine,' and like, it's not.


  • Adam: You really think that a girl is going to go for me just 'cause I have cancer?
    Kyle: For the millionth time. YES!


  • Kyle: If you were a casino game, you would have the best odds.


Find More Movie Quotes