A Million Ways to Die in the West - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

A Million Ways to Die in the West Quotes

  • Edward: So should I bring her back around 6?
    Millie: We really don't keep a schedule around here. He'll just be in when he feels like putting his penis in an asshole.
    Edward: So we'll say 6, then.

  • Anna: What's with this fair?
    Albert: Every year, people die.
    Anna: Really?

  • Doctor Harper: I couldn't save her.
    Albert: She had a splinter. What the hell were you supposed to do?

  • Albert: The American West is a terrible place in time. Everything out here that's not you wants to kill you. Angry drunk people, hungry animals, outlaws... the fucking doctor!

  • Edward: Oh, hey, look! It's the ice!
    Edward: Ice is so big!
    Albert: So it doesn't melt. Actually, it's really interesting how they do it. It's this one company out in Boston that- OOAH! That went so, so fast! Ah!
    Albert: So it doesn't melt. Actually, it's really interesting how they do it. It's this one company out in Boston that- OOAH! That went south so fast! Ah!

  • Angry Cowboy: "People die at the fair."

  • Cowboy at Fair: "Take your hat off boy, that's a Dollar"

  • Clinch: I know you're here, Stark!

  • Edward: Please don't shoot us on sex night.

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