Alone in the Dark Reviews

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March 1, 2005
Little of Alone in the Dark makes Earthly sense, but it at least knows how to be bad in original ways.
February 27, 2005
Has just about everything a snarky bad movie lover could want--that is, except a guy and two robots sitting in the bottom right hand corner.
February 10, 2005
Remember to get your bets in early as the Razzie winner for 2005.
February 8, 2005
You start hoping that Ashton Kutcher is going to come out and tell them they're punk'd, because you just can't believe this is for real. You feel sorry for these actors...
February 7, 2005
It's never good when the audience starts laughing as soon as the movie begins -- and nothing has happened.
February 7, 2005
For as busy as this movie is, you'd think it would have more going on. Instead, it's just a big, chewy wad of badness.
February 6, 2005
The most entertainment comes from watching Slater and Dorff and trying to figure out who's got the biggest forehead.
February 6, 2005
It's just the most inept filmmaking you can catch in theatres right now, or probably all year long.
February 5, 2005
There's plenty to snicker at.
February 5, 2005
In this chintzy video-game blow-up, Christian Slater battles zombies and transmogrified beasties, revealing the horror of a once-promising career turned miserable.
February 4, 2005
I've heard of the suspension of disbelief, but Tara Reid as an archeologist?
February 4, 2005
... 96 minutes of pure torture ...
February 3, 2005
Utterly lost by its end, you can just sit back and let yourself be hijacked by the movie's outrageous dialogue, hyperventilating performances and all-around commitment to overkill.
February 3, 2005
A violent and incomprehensible piece of gibberish.
February 3, 2005
[T]he filmmakers have no more ability to tell a story than to create three-dimensional characters. They don't so much end the film as hit the reset button.
February 3, 2005
Maybe the only people who can explain this flick's nonsensical plotline are those who squandered their youth mastering the Atari video game on which it's based.
February 3, 2005
[Uwe Boll] makes things on the cheap...so people keep giving him money, even though he doesn't seem to know how to point a camera at his actors, let alone operate it.
February 3, 2005
If Ed Wood had the opportunity to fall under MTV's influence, Plan Nine From Outer Space would have looked like Alone in the Dark.
February 3, 2005
Attains a level of awe-inspiring Velveeta dunderheadedness.
February 2, 2005
Wow. What an aptly named movie.
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