American Pie - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

American Pie Quotes

  • Jim's Dad: I have to admit, you know, I did the fair bit of[hesitates] masturbating when I was a little younger. I used to call it stroking the salami, yeah, you know, pounding the old pud.[pause] I never did it with baked goods, but you know your uncle Mort, he pets the one-eyed snake 5-6 times a day.


  • Kevin: if sherman has sex before i do im gonna be pissed
    Kevin: If Sherman has sex before I do, I'm gonna be really pissed.
    Jim Levinstein: sherman the shermanator
    Jim Levinstein: Sherman? The Sherminator? [both laugh]


  • Jim Levinstein: god let this be it
    Jim Levinstein: God, let this be it.


  • Michelle Flaherty: whats my name say my name bitch
    Michelle Flaherty: What's my name? Say my name, bitch!
    Jim Levinstein: michelle michelle


  • Jim Levinstein: shes gone oh my god she used me i was used i was used cool
    Jim Levinstein: She's gone! Oh my God, she used me. I was used. I was used! Cool!


  • Oz: you ask them questions and listen to what they have to say and shit
    Oz: You ask them questions, and listen to what they have to say and shit.
    Steve Stifler: i dunno man that sounds like a lot of work
    Steve Stifler: I dunno, man, that sounds like a lot of work.


  • Jim's Mom: ill have to admit i did a fair bit of masturbating when i was a little younger i used to call it strokeing the salami yeah you know pounding the old pud i never did it with baked goods though but you uncle mort he pets the one eyed snake 5 -6 times a day
    Jim's Dad: I have to admit, you know, I did the fair bit of [hesitates]
    Jim's Dad: ...masturbating when I was a little younger. I used to call it stroking the salami, yeah, you know, pounding the old pud. [pause]
    Jim's Dad: I never did it with baked goods, but you know your uncle Mort, he pets the one-eyed snake 5-6 times a day.


  • Jim Levinstein: guys uh what exactly does thrid base feel like
    Jim Levinstein: Guys, uh, what exactly does third base feel like?
    Kevin: you wanna take this one
    Kevin: You want to take this one?


  • Steve Stifler: what did you cocks do to him
    Steve Stifler: [at choir practice] What did you cocks do to him?
    Oz: you came to see me in action
    Oz: You came to see me in action?
    Jim Levinstein: yeah man i thought you sounded really good
    Jim Levinstein: Yeah man, I thought you sounded really good!
    Steve Stifler: yeah man i think you need your balls reattached
    Steve Stifler: Yeah man, I think you need your balls reattached!


  • Jim Levinstein: you realize were all going to college as virgins right they probably have special dorms for people like us
    Jim Levinstein: You realize we're all going to go to college as virgins. They probably have special dorms for people like us.


  • Steve Stifler: i say why dont you guys locate your dicks remove the shrink rap and fucking use them
    Steve Stifler: I say, why don't you guys locate your dicks, remove the shrink wrap, and fucking *use* them!


  • Steve Stifler: she called me and asked for my number
    Steve Stifler: She called me and asked for my number.


  • Finch: god bless the internet
    Finch: God bless the internet.


  • Oz: friends call me nova as in casanova
    Oz: Friends call me Nova as in Casanova.


  • Jim Levinstein: i would like to make an annoucement there is a gorgeous woman masturbating on my bed
    Jim Levinstein: I would like to make an announcement. There is a gorgeous woman masturbating on my bed.


  • Jessica: its not a space shuttle launch its sex
    Jessica: It's not a space shuttle launch, it's SEX.


  • Jim Levinstein: Did you see the Little Mermaid on TV the other night?
    Oz: No.
    Jim Levinstein: That Ariel, man, she's so hot!


  • Sherman: I'm a sophisticated sex robot, sent back in time to change the future for one lucky lady.


  • Steve Stifler: I'll see you guys tonight, in the "No Fucking Section", right?
    Steve Stifler: I'll see you guys tonight, in the 'No Fucking Section', right?


  • Michelle Flaherty: What's my name? Say my name, bitch!
    Jim Levinstein: Michelle! Michelle.


  • Jim Levinstein: She's gone! Oh my God, she used me. I was used. I was used! Cool!


  • Oz: "Suck me, beautiful"
    Oz: Suck me, beautiful.


  • Jim's Dad: Looks like a tropical jungle plant
    Jim's Dad: Looks like a tropical jungle plant.


  • Vicky: (moaning) I'm coming! I'm coming!
    Vicky: [moaning] I'm coming! I'm coming!


  • Jim's Dad: we'll just tell your mother we ate it all.
    Jim's Dad: We'll just tell your mother we ate it all.


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