American Pie - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

American Pie Quotes

The top American Pie quotes selected by the Rotten Tomatoes community. Login to submit a quote!

  • Jim's Dad: I have to admit, you know, I did the fair bit of[hesitates] masturbating when I was a little younger. I used to call it stroking the salami, yeah, you know, pounding the old pud.[pause] I never did it with baked goods, but you know your uncle Mort, he pets the one-eyed snake 5-6 times a day.
    ‐ Submitted by Bria M (4 years ago)

  • Kevin: If Sherman has sex before I do, I'm gonna be really pissed.
    Jim Levinstein: Sherman? The Sherminator? [both laugh]
    ‐ Submitted by Evan T (4 years ago)

  • Jim Levinstein: God, let this be it.
    ‐ Submitted by Evan T (4 years ago)

  • Michelle Flaherty: What's my name? Say my name, bitch!
    ‐ Submitted by Evan T (4 years ago)

  • Jim Levinstein: She's gone! Oh my God, she used me. I was used. I was used! Cool!
    ‐ Submitted by Evan T (4 years ago)

  • Oz: You ask them questions, and listen to what they have to say and shit.
    Steve Stifler: I dunno, man, that sounds like a lot of work.
    ‐ Submitted by Evan T (4 years ago)

  • Jim's Dad: I have to admit, you know, I did the fair bit of [hesitates]
    Jim's Dad: ...masturbating when I was a little younger. I used to call it stroking the salami, yeah, you know, pounding the old pud. [pause]
    Jim's Dad: I never did it with baked goods, but you know your uncle Mort, he pets the one-eyed snake 5-6 times a day.
    ‐ Submitted by Evan T (4 years ago)

  • Jim Levinstein: Guys, uh, what exactly does third base feel like?
    Kevin: You want to take this one?
    ‐ Submitted by Evan T (4 years ago)

  • Steve Stifler: [at choir practice] What did you cocks do to him?
    Oz: You came to see me in action?
    Jim Levinstein: Yeah man, I thought you sounded really good!
    Steve Stifler: Yeah man, I think you need your balls reattached!
    ‐ Submitted by Evan T (4 years ago)

  • Jim Levinstein: You realize we're all going to go to college as virgins. They probably have special dorms for people like us.
    ‐ Submitted by Evan T (4 years ago)

  • Steve Stifler: I say, why don't you guys locate your dicks, remove the shrink wrap, and fucking *use* them!
    ‐ Submitted by Evan T (4 years ago)

  • Steve Stifler: She called me and asked for my number.
    ‐ Submitted by Evan T (4 years ago)

  • Finch: God bless the internet.
    ‐ Submitted by Evan T (4 years ago)

  • Oz: Friends call me Nova as in Casanova.
    ‐ Submitted by Evan T (4 years ago)

  • Jim Levinstein: I would like to make an announcement. There is a gorgeous woman masturbating on my bed.
    ‐ Submitted by Evan T (4 years ago)

  • Jessica: It's not a space shuttle launch, it's SEX.
    ‐ Submitted by Evan T (4 years ago)

  • Jim Levinstein: Did you see the Little Mermaid on TV the other night?
    Oz: No.
    Jim Levinstein: That Ariel, man, she's so hot!
    ‐ Submitted by Matthew P (4 years ago)

  • Sherman: I'm a sophisticated sex robot, sent back in time to change the future for one lucky lady.
    ‐ Submitted by Lucas M (4 years ago)

  • Steve Stifler: I'll see you guys tonight, in the 'No Fucking Section', right?
    ‐ Submitted by Lucas M (4 years ago)

  • Michelle Flaherty: What's my name? Say my name, bitch!
    Jim Levinstein: Michelle! Michelle.
    ‐ Submitted by Lucas M (4 years ago)

  • Jim Levinstein: She's gone! Oh my God, she used me. I was used. I was used! Cool!
    ‐ Submitted by Lucas M (4 years ago)

  • Oz: Suck me, beautiful.
    ‐ Submitted by Seth Y (4 years ago)

  • Jim's Dad: Looks like a tropical jungle plant.
    ‐ Submitted by Jeff J (4 years ago)

  • Vicky: [moaning] I'm coming! I'm coming!
    ‐ Submitted by redwan a (4 years ago)

  • Jim's Dad: We'll just tell your mother we ate it all.
    ‐ Submitted by redwan a (4 years ago)

Find More Movie Quotes

Suicide Squad
Suicide Squad
(14 quotes)
Sausage Party
Sausage Party
(0 quotes)
War Dogs
War Dogs
(0 quotes)
Pete's Dragon
Pete's Dragon
(0 quotes)
Ben-Hur
Ben-Hur
(0 quotes)
Jason Bourne
Jason Bourne
(1 quotes)