An American Werewolf in London - Movie Quotes - Rotten Tomatoes

An American Werewolf in London Quotes

  • David Kessler: I'm a werewolf.
    Alex Price: Are you alright?
    David Kessler: I don't know, I'll let you know the next full moon.

  • David Kessler: Queen Elizabeth is a man! Prince Charles is a faggot! Winston Churchill was full of shit! Shakespeare was French! Fuck! Shit! Cunt!

  • David Kessler: Be rational, sure...I'm a fucking werewolf for Christs Sake!

  • David Kessler: Look at me, sitting in a porno theather in Piccadilly Circus talking to a Corpse!

  • Jack Goodman: (As nurse goes Jack appears) Can I have a piece of that?
    Jack Goodman: [as nurse goes Jack appears] Can I have a piece of that?
    David Kessler: Get the fuck out of here Jack!
    Jack Goodman: Thanks a lot David!

  • Barmaid: (after hearing a wolf's howl) - Listen. Do you hear it? We must go to them.
    Chess player: (pretending he heard nothing) - I heard nothing.
    Darts Player: (puts his head down in shame) - Nor I.

  • Jack Goodman: Excuse me, but what's that star on the wall for?

  • David Kessler: I will not be threatened by a walking meat loaf!

  • Mr. Collins: These dumb ass kids. They never appreciate what you do for them.

  • Jack Goodman: There is nothing mediocre about Debbie Klein's body.

  • David Kessler: It's a pentangle, a five-pointed star. It's used in witchcraft. Lon Chaney Jr. at Universal Studios said that's the mark of the Wolf Man.

  • David Kessler: (hiding behind the bushes, talking to a little boy) - I'm, uh, the famous balloon thief.

  • Jack Goodman: (describing his funeral) - Debbie Klein cried a lot. So, so, you know what she does? She's soooo grief-stricken, she runs to find solace in Mark Levine's bed.
    David Kessler: Mark... Levine?
    David Kessler: Mark. Levine?
    Jack Goodman: An as*hole! Life mocks me even in death!

  • Jack Goodman: Have you tried talking to a corpse? It's boring.

  • Jack Goodman: Ah, fu*k, David...what IS THAT?!
    Jack Goodman: Ah, fu*k, David. What IS THAT?!

  • Jack Goodman: (to the truck driver) - You have very beautiful sheep.

  • Jack Goodman: Now, I'm really sorry to be upsetting you, but I have to warn you.
    David Kessler: Warn me?
    Jack Goodman: We were attacked by a werewolf.
    David Kessler: (putting his hands over his ears) - I'm not listening to this!
    Jack Goodman: On the moors, we were attacked by a lycanthrope, a werewolf. I was murdered; an unnatural death, and now I walk the earth in limbo until the werewolf's curse is lifted.
    David Kessler: Shut up!
    Jack Goodman: The wolf's bloodline must be severed; the last remaining werewolf must be destroyed. It's you, David.

  • David Kessler: Bela Lugosi bites Lon Chaney Jr. and he turns into a werewolf.
    Alex Price: Why are you telling me this?
    David Kessler: No, listen. Claude Rains is Lon Chaney's father, and he ends up killing him.
    Alex Price: So?
    David Kessler: Well, I think that a werewolf can only be killed by someone who loves them.

  • David Kessler: Maybe it's a sheep dog...let's keep going.
    David Kessler: Maybe it's a sheep dog. Let's keep going.

  • Jack Goodman: "The Slaughtered Lamb"? ...That's kind of strange. Where's the lamb?
    Jack Goodman: 'The Slaughtered Lamb?' That's kind of strange. Where's the lamb?
    David Kessler: Probably inside getting cold. Come on.
    Jack Goodman: No, really. What kind of ad is that for a pub?
    David Kessler: I don't know. Would you rather the Hilton?

  • David Kessler: (to himself) - I'm going completely crazy.

  • Gerald Bringsley: (accusing David of his murder) - Whereas I am a victim of your carnivorous lunar activities.

  • Jack Goodman: Those sheep sh*t on my pack.

  • Jack Goodman: You scared me, you sh*thead!

  • Alex Price: Shall I be forced to feed you, David?

  • David Kessler: Nurse!
    Jack Goodman: Listen to me!
    David Kessler: (crying) - Nurse!
    Jack Goodman: The undead surround me. Have you ever talked to a corpse? It's boring! I'm lonely! Kill yourself, David, before you kill others [David continues crying] ...Please don't cry.
    Jack Goodman: The undead surround me. Have you ever talked to a corpse? It's boring! I'm lonely! Kill yourself, David, before you kill others [David continues crying] Please don't cry.

  • Jack Goodman: Do you have any hot soup?
    Barmaid: No.
    Jack Goodman: Do you have any coffee, then?
    Jack Goodman: Do you have any, uh, hot chocolate?
    Barmaid: We've spirits and beers. If it's something hot you want, have tea.
    Jack Goodman: Then you have tea.
    Jack Goodman: Oh.
    Barmaid: I can make some for you, if you like.
    Jack Goodman: Oh, yes, please.

  • Gerald Bringsley: If you put it in your mouth, then you'd be sure not to miss.
    David Kessler: Thank you, you're all so thoughtful.

  • Jack Goodman: Did you hear that?
    David Kessler: I heard that.
    Jack Goodman: What was it?
    David Kessler: Could be a lot of things.
    Jack Goodman: Yeah?
    David Kessler: A coyote.
    Jack Goodman: There aren't any coyotes in England.
    David Kessler: The Hound of the Baskervilles.
    Jack Goodman: Pecos Bill.
    David Kessler: Heathcliff.
    Jack Goodman: Heathcliff didn't howl!
    David Kessler: No, but he was on the moors.

  • David Kessler: How could there have been witnesses? It was so dark. We were running, and I fell and Jack went to help me up, and this thing came from nowhere. I don't know what they're talking about.

  • David Kessler: I'm a werewolf.
    Alex Price: Are you alright?
    David Kessler: I don't know, I'll let you know the next full moon.

  • Darts Player: Stay on the road. Keep clear of the moors.
    Chess player: Beware the moon, lads.

  • Chess player: (telling a joke) - There was this aero plane over the Atlantic on its way to New York...and it was full of men from the United Nations. So halfway over the ocean the engines run low on petrol. So they have to lighten the plane. So they heave out all the baggage, but it's still too heavy. So they chuck out all the seats, but it's still too heavy. Finally, this Frog, he steps up, shouts "Vive la France", and leaps out. Then an Englishman, he steps up, shouts "God save the Queen", and he leaps out. But the plane is still too heavy. So the Yank delegate, from Texas, he steps up, shouts: "Remember the Alamo"...and chucks out the Mexican!!! [everyone starts laughing hysterically]
    Chess player: (telling a joke) - There was this aero plane over the Atlantic on its way to New York, and it was full of men from the United Nations. So halfway over the ocean the engines run low on petrol. So they have to lighten the plane. So they heave out all the baggage, but it's still too heavy. So they chuck out all the seats, but it's still too heavy. Finally, this Frog, he steps up, shouts 'Vive la France', and leaps out. Then an Englishman, he steps up, shouts 'God save the Queen', and he leaps out. But the plane is still too heavy. So the Yank delegate, from Texas, he steps up, shouts: 'Remember the Alamo', and chucks out the Mexican! [everyone starts laughing hysterically]

  • Jack Goodman: Beware the moon, David.

  • David Kessler: I'm going to the police. Jack was right.
    Alex Price: Jack is dead!
    David Kessler: Jack is dead and six people are dead. There's gonna be a full moon tonight. I'm going to the cops.
    Alex Price: David, please be rational. Let's go to Dr. Hirsch.
    David Kessler: Yeah, be rational, sure. I'm a fucking werewolf, for Christ's sake!

  • Taxi Driver: Puts you in mind of the days of the old demon barber of Fleet Street, don't it?
    Alex Price: Sorry?
    Taxi Driver: The murders.
    David Kessler: What murders?
    Taxi Driver: Haven't you heard? Last night...six of 'em. All in different parts of the city, all mutilated. He must be a real right maniac, this fella.
    Taxi Driver: Haven't you heard? Last night, six of 'em. All in different parts of the city, all mutilated. He must be a real right maniac, this fella.

  • Alex Price: I love you David.

  • Alf: Here! Who's there?
    Ted: That's not Winston!
    Alf: Look! There!

  • David Kessler: No. I can't take this. Am I asleep now, or awake or what?
    Jack Goodman: I realize I don't look so hot, David. But I thought you'd be glad to see me....David, you are hurting my feelings!
    Jack Goodman: I realize I don't look so hot, David. But I thought you'd be glad to see me. David, you are hurting my feelings!
    David Kessler: Hurting your feelings? Has it occurred to you that it might be unsettling to see you arise from the grave to visit me?

  • Hospital Porter: Don't ask me, I'm just an orderly. I push things around.

  • Darts Player: You made me miss.
    Jack Goodman: Sorry.
    Darts Player: I've never missed that board before.

  • Jack Goodman: Say "knock, knock".
    Jack Goodman: Say 'knock, knock'.
    David Kessler: What?
    Jack Goodman: Say "knock, knock."
    David Kessler: Who's there?
    Jack Goodman: No, no, no. You say "knock, knock".
    Jack Goodman: No, no, no. You say 'knock, knock'.
    David Kessler: Knock, knock.
    Jack Goodman: Who's there?
    David Kessler: Who?
    Jack Goodman: Don't you get it?
    Jack Goodman: You don't get that joke? All right, I'll try another.

  • Truck Driver: That way is Proctor, and over here is the moors. I go this way.
    Jack Goodman: Thanks for the ride, sir. You have lovely sheep.
    Truck Driver: Boys, keep off the moors, stick to the roads. The best to ya...
    David Kessler: Thanks again (to the sheep) ...We'll miss you...Bye girls.
    David Kessler: Thanks again (to the sheep) We'll miss you. Bye girls.

  • Darts Player: (to Dr. Hirsch) - He'll change, He'll...
    Chess player: THAT'S ENOUGH! ...That's enough.
    Chess player: That's enough!

  • David Kessler: Maybe it's a sheep dog...let's keep going.
    David Kessler: Maybe it's a sheep dog. Let's keep going.

  • Jack Goodman: (appearing for the first time as the undead) - Can I have a piece of toast?
    David Kessler: Get the fu*k outta here, Jack.

  • Jack Goodman: It's a full moon..."Beware the moon"...
    Jack Goodman: It's a full moon. 'Beware the moon.'
    David Kessler: And stick to the road. ...Oops.
    David Kessler: And stick to the road. Oops.
    Jack Goodman: I vote we go back to the Slaughtered Lamb.

  • Alex Price: Benjamin, have you ever been severely beaten about the face and neck?

  • David Kessler: (while transforming) - I didn't mean to call you a meat loaf, Jack!

  • David Kessler: (looking in the mirror) - Fe-fi-fo-fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman.

  • David Kessler: (trying to get arrested) Queen Elizabeth is a man! Prince Charles is a faggot! Winston Churchill was full of shit! Shakespeare's French!
    David Kessler: [trying to get arrested] Queen Elizabeth is a man!

  • Jack Goodman: "The Slaughtered Lamb"?
    Jack Goodman: The Slaughtered Lamb?
    David Kessler: That's kinda strange.
    Jack Goodman: ...Where's the lamb?
    Jack Goodman: Where's the lamb?
    David Kessler: Probably inside getting cold. Come one.
    David Kessler: Probably inside getting cold. Come on.
    Jack Goodman: No, really, what kinda ad is that for a pub?
    David Kessler: I don't know, would you rather the Hilton?

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