The Amityville Horror Reviews
July 8, 2005
not really that good but better than the other eight previous movies
Original Score: 2.5/4
June 28, 2005
The prime victims are children who are shot, threatened, tortured and killed without any hesitation or reason other than to provide quick thrills.
Full Review
| Original Score: 1/5
June 11, 2005
Another of those recent horror pictures that you resent while in its presence and forget immediately afterwards.
Full Review
| Original Score: 1.5/5
May 14, 2005
Full Review
| Original Score: 1/5
May 14, 2005
... routine remake of a 1979 horror classic.
Full Review
| Original Score: 1.5/5
May 14, 2005
Reynolds is well cast in the lead - it's genuinely upsetting as the house starts to chip away at his Nice Guy persona. He also spends a huge amount of the film either half-naked or dripping wet, if you like that sort of thing.
Full Review
| Original Score: 3/5
May 14, 2005
It's just your routine family-in-a-haunted-house flick, where creepy apparitions cause the patriarch to descend into axe-wielding madness and threaten his kin. You liked it when it was called The Shining.
Full Review
| Original Score: 1.5/5
May 14, 2005
Sorry gang, but 2005's variation on 1979's original is no more successful or scary than that bizarrely popular film was.
Full Review
| Original Score: 1/4
May 14, 2005
Punchy, frightening, and far slicker than the original - but for all the refurbishment, something's still not quite right with this haunted house.
May 14, 2005
there is so much effort to explain everything, to supply reasons for things that don't need them and therefore cannot sustain them, that the film folds in on itself
Full Review
| Original Score: 2.5/4
May 14, 2005
Full Review
| Original Score: 1.5/4
May 14, 2005
I can't escape the feeling that if you were to put me in a room with an editing machine, the raw footage, and a collection of sound effects, I could have made a better film.
Full Review
| Original Score: 40/100
May 14, 2005
An efficient, schlocky remake from the guys who disinterred The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Amityville Horror is actually slightly better than its 1979 inspiration.
Full Review
| Original Score: 3/5
May 10, 2005
If you're to judge Amityville merely by asking the question, is it scary enough?, then yeah, it works.
Full Review
| Original Score: 3/5
May 6, 2005
The remake does absolutely nothing to modify or improve upon its predecessor, which makes it completely pointless.
Full Review
| Original Score: 1/4
April 30, 2005
This isn't scary at all.
Original Score: 1.7/5
April 29, 2005
Begin by blaming leads that lack charisma outside of their model bodies, move on to the cheap technique of pounding soundtrack blasts...arrive at the comically clichéd script.
Original Score: .5/4
April 27, 2005
Unsuccessful but watchable, it's redeemed by occasionally reaching past mediocrity.
April 26, 2005
Only the eerie relationship with youngest daughter Chelsea and an "imaginary" friend with a bullet hole in the forehead rings up any real psychological terror.
Original Score: 2.5/4
April 25, 2005
I have a small bit of admiration for a film that actually tries to be worse than Hide and Seek.
Full Review
| Original Score: D-