The Amityville Horror Reviews

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April 1, 2006
September 30, 2005
The problem with The Amityville Horror is that, in a very real sense, there's nothing there.
May 14, 2005
... routine remake of a 1979 horror classic.
May 14, 2005
Sorry gang, but 2005's variation on 1979's original is no more successful or scary than that bizarrely popular film was.
May 14, 2005
An efficient, schlocky remake from the guys who disinterred The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The Amityville Horror is actually slightly better than its 1979 inspiration.
Top Critic
April 21, 2005
A few lines get laughs, but the horror is standard fare, without a shred of innovation.
April 20, 2005
Nothing gets in the way of the rote staging, the ham-handed predictability, the feeling that you've been to this house, and yawned at these ghosts, once too often.
April 19, 2005
The Amityville Horror is a Xerox so tattered and faded that it's impossible to determine who's to blame for the overproduced mediocrity before our eyes.
April 15, 2005
A redundant round of recycling.
April 15, 2005
You'll want to get out of Amityville long before the Lutzes do.
April 15, 2005
A smorgasbord of strobe lights, screeching soundtrack noises, and silly specters.
April 15, 2005
I wasn't shocked by The Amityville Horror, or outraged by it: I felt nothing but disdain.
April 15, 2005
Brevity is the single best thing about it.
April 15, 2005
In theory, this should all be scary, but it just isn't. You giggle at the B-movie cheesiness of it.
April 15, 2005
It retains the cheesy look of the 1979 original, pure schlock not gussied up to appear to be anything else.
April 15, 2005
This house springs so many FX shocks it plays like a theme-park ride. Result? It's not scary, just busy.
April 15, 2005
In a ghost story, the narrative doesn't have to be a model of originality or coherence, but it needs to support the scares. In The Amityville Horror, the writing is so bad that it detracts from the 'boo!' moments and creepy interludes.
April 15, 2005
The original is still creepy, but this Horror will have fans jumping in their seats and talking back to the screen.
April 15, 2005
The startling thing about the remake is that it's one of the better horror films to hit screens in recent months, thanks to its refusal to take itself too seriously.
April 15, 2005
Shoddily made, boring and, most shockingly, without a single decent scare.
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